There is no need to worry and constantly ask yourself whether she loved you if she could so easily break everything and leave. There was love, but it moved on. And you fell behind and ceased to be the person she needed. No, she hasn't changed at all, she's just as sweet, flirty and kind. But it is no longer yours and belongs to another person.
After all, you are a man, you yourself are a defender of the weaker sex, which means you must be strong, decisive and courageous.
How to help a man forget his ex-girlfriend
Sometimes it happens that a woman falls in love with a man who is still acutely upset about the breakup with his ex-girlfriend. During your meetings, he constantly talks about her, remembers her, complains to you how much he misses her, says that he misses her, etc. and you involuntarily ask the question: “How to make him fall in love with you?”
Alas, there is no universal method that would tell you how to make a man fall in love.
How to help a man forget his ex-wife
A woman in a relationship rarely remembers her ex-man. And even if he remembers, he doesn’t bring these thoughts out “in public” (why tease your man once again?). Men sometimes allow themselves not only to remember their exes, but also to constantly tell their new wives about them. Fortunately, there are few such men, but this problem does not go away.
You wash the dishes wrong, wipe the dust wrong, bake pancakes wrong, and still can’t remember how many spoons of sugar to put in his coffee.
How to help a guy forget his ex-girlfriend?
What if you met a cute guy, but he recently went through a breakup with another girl and is feeling it badly? During your meetings, he constantly remembers her, there is melancholy and grief on his face. Instead of enjoying your company, he yearns for the one who broke his heart.
Alas, there is no such secret laboratory in the world where a special field is used to erase men’s memories of their former girlfriends.
How to help a guy forget his ex-girlfriend
Our life is very diverse and we may meet different people along the way. People with different emotions and life situations. It happens that a girl meets a young man who, after breaking up with the girl, still cannot forget her. You may even notice that no matter what you start talking about, he still turns to her, remembers their common pastime.
If this has happened, and you really like this young man, then you can try to help him forget his ex-girlfriend.
How to Help Your Husband Earn More Money and Become a Millionaire's Wife
Almost every woman dreams of her husband being successful, rich and generous. Then, the wife believes, they would live happily and well. But not every dreamer thinks about what power she has and what role she has in this matter.
A man, when he marries, is created anew. He has as much chance of becoming rich as he does of becoming poor, and a lot depends on his wife.
How to help your spouse forget your ex-wife?
Love dramas have happened more than once in our lives. We wanted to return our loved one, we were looking for ways to get the girl back. Cases of mental trauma do not bypass either girls or boys. Nowadays, cases of divorce have become more frequent. And when a new family is formed, with a divorced man, the new wife has a very difficult situation, since she needs not only to make sure that she is not compared, but also to help forget her ex.
Many women often ask themselves this question: “What can I do to make my husband forget his ex-woman?”
I love a man who can't forget his ex-wife
Hello! Please help me deal with the situation! For six months now I have been dating a man who divorced his wife a year ago on her initiative. They have a daughter together, 4 years old. The relationship is very strained, the ex prevents the child from communicating, and he is very worried. Wants to see each other more often and for more time. Often, because of this, he withdraws into himself and does not communicate with anyone at this moment. He is very angry with his wife, but says that if she agreed to start the relationship again, he would be happy for the sake of the child.
I understand him, since I myself am divorced and I also have a daughter.
I can’t forget my ex-wife, what should I do?
What should I do - I can’t forget my ex-wife, it seems we were married for only 11 months, we also dated for about 11 months, but I left her because of her attitude and indifference towards me, which began after about half a year of married life, although I was already exhausted to please her and please her in every possible way, I stopped drinking, smoking, stopped communicating with all my friends, but everything was the same.
Question for a psychologist:
Good afternoon My name is Andrey, I am 29 years old. I got married very early, I was 22 years old, and my wife was 18. A daughter was born, she is almost 8 years old. We lived all these 7 years with scandals. As a result, they divorced a year ago in April. The application was filed by the wife. The daughter lives with her mother. I suffered all summer and thought about my ex-wife, but I was able to forget her only in September, when I met a girl. Our relationship quickly gained momentum and I no longer remembered my ex-wife at all. But when my ex found out about this, she immediately got involved and began to lure me over to her place. At first I wasn’t fooled and didn’t pay attention, but eternal tears, words like I’ll give birth to you and a son, I love you, come back to me played their role and I gave up, leaving my girlfriend at the same time... My ex-wife pleased me in everything - in bed, delicious food, beautiful words, and I fell in love with her again and was happy. All this lasted about 3 months. And when my wife found out that I was completely hers again, she stupidly left me, and as far as I know, she went to her employee. You understand, she was with me and corresponded with someone else!!! I fell into severe depression. This happened a month and a half ago. I started to drown my grief with alcohol, I drank for about two weeks, but it didn’t get any easier. I pulled myself together and stopped, but it got even worse, my thoughts were pressing and my soul was being torn to pieces. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I moved in with my parents, but it still doesn’t help. Friends say forget it and let's go drink, but it doesn't bother me anymore, and my parents will only be upset once again. I call my daughter, she says that my mother comes late and my daughter falls asleep alone, my heart bleeds, I can’t forget and everything is very bad. I lie on the bed for days, I degrade, the robot doesn’t work, everything gets out of hand, I completely closed myself off, it’s very painful and nauseating. I wanted to switch to a new girl, but there is no one. I went out a couple of times with friends to relax, but I can’t be in society for a long time and leave almost immediately, everyone seems to piss me off. I don’t know... I switched to sports, but I also can’t do it for 2-3 days, somehow it doesn’t work. He even stooped to the point of causing a prostitute, but that didn’t stop him either. Why did she do this... I don’t know what to do, my nerves are already on edge... It’s very bad, very... I’d really like to hear your opinion about everything that’s happening. I would like to add that I didn’t cheat while I was married and I didn’t notice it with my wife either, since she was always with me... We worked together. And when she changed jobs, I had friends there and I knew everything... And there were family quarrels that no one could ever give in to the other, they quarreled and proved their point of view. Thanks in advance for your answer!
Psychologist Ekaterina Petrovna Fedorova (Pyatrina) answers the question.
Hello Andrei. You are having a hard time with a breakup. Parting is always difficult, it is the loss of what was dear, of someone who was dear. It is especially difficult for you because you have experienced loss twice. You were given hope of restoring the relationship and were deceived. You are probably very angry with your spouse or yourself, maybe blaming her or feeling guilty. It is very difficult to understand from one post what range of feelings you are experiencing. But in any case, it has a destructive effect on you. You poison yourself with alcohol, starve yourself and don’t let yourself sleep. And you can’t understand why this is happening and when it will end.
You did the right thing when you gave up alcohol, because it only dulls the pain and sometimes worsens it. It doesn't solve the problem, it just adds new ones.
You are looking for ways to distract yourself, switch, and escape from your worries. But you need to live this experience and understand it.
You need time to understand your emotions, to process your loss. You need to be able to forgive your ex-wife and yourself. Accept all the good things that happened in your relationship, let them go and learn to live a new life without your ex-wife. This is a long job, most likely you cannot do it without the help of a psychologist.
Some can forgive their spouse’s infidelity, draw conclusions, work on the relationship and move on in peace and harmony. For others, life after their wife’s betrayal is filled with self-flagellation, distrust of the female sex, conversations with friends in the style of “all women are the same” and mental pain. How to forget your wife’s betrayal, free yourself from painful experiences and live happily?
First of all, you should take into account that thoughts of revenge on a rival or a betrayed spouse primarily harm you. Remember that by prolonging your own suffering with destructive fantasies about the details of infidelity, the constant search for reasons in yourself only takes away the opportunity to live happily. You can't change the past, but you can make plans.
According to surveys, the situation when a wife cheated on her legal spouse ranks third in the ranking of personal tragedies of modern men. The only thing that can hurt members of the stronger sex more painfully than her is the death of their own child, their own parents and other very close people.
At the same time, statistics confirm that about 15% of divorces per year occur on the initiative of a man if his wife cheated. In addition, many couples separate without legal registration, which is not reflected in official statistics. You are not alone, hundreds of couples have gone through this, experiencing the same shock, disappointment, anger, contempt, apathy. This is a normal first reaction to a traumatic situation. But staying in this state for a long time is dangerous.
Intoxication with one’s own guilt, concentration on suffering, anger, resentment, and the desire to punish the offender leads to a dead end. Take a break. Distance and time will help you sort out your own emotions and make the right decision.
Is it worth saving the family?
The practice of a psychologist as an experienced person with twenty-five years of experience shows that in 80% of cases of female infidelity, spouses decided to maintain the relationship if there were children in the marriage. In most cases, such unions still collapsed within a period of up to five years. The following factors contributed to this:
- A woman can continue her affairs on the side, knowing that her husband will forgive, tolerate, and accept back.
- She turns out to be pregnant from someone else or had an abortion.
- She refuses to have children, which increases doubts about the sincerity of her love confessions.
- The common child will support the father, show empathy, push him to the final decision and follow him.
- The influence of relatives, criticism by friends of the spouse’s “softness” towards the betrayed spouse.
- Deterioration of the husband’s financial situation or, conversely, increase in the wife’s income.
- Addiction to alcohol, drugs, constant reproaches for past mistakes, frequent family scandals.
- The desire to respond in a mirror way is male infidelity.
When making such an important decision, one should take into account not only the interests of the children, but also the possibility, the mutual desire of the spouses to maintain the union, and the willingness to work on the relationship. A conflictual family environment can cause more harm to a child’s psyche than positive communication between divorced spouses. Sometimes relationships are smoothed out by the birth of another child together.
The psychologist's advice on forgiving a wife's infidelity is as follows: preserving the family does not mean humility. Trying to establish a connection with a lady who has no respect and does not appreciate is impossible. A quick reaction in the form of an application for divorce is the way for the lady to understand the depth and real threat to the marriage from her actions. He will begin to respect your integrity, determination, and value more. Scandals, reproaches and demonstrative grief cannot achieve such an effect. It is respect for the husband that becomes the basis for reconciliation and preservation of the family. An application for divorce, according to Andrei Zberovsky, automatically puts a legal and psychological barrier in front of the couple. Pushes towards an awareness of the need to evaluate the seriousness of the claims expressed and the partners’ readiness to eliminate the identified contradictions. The fact of filing an application does not deprive the couple of the opportunity to work on improving their relationship.
Relationships after cheating
- We don't remember the past.
- We talk through and discuss openly all the issues of concern. Everyone has their own “picture of the world,” life experience, and a certain type of thinking. We perceive the information received differently, putting our own meanings into the actions and words of our partner. Often behind this lies the main reason for misunderstandings, conflicts, and quarrels.
- Everyone has the right to express an assessment of their partner’s actions, even negative ones. The other half is obliged to take into account the opinion of the spouse and draw conclusions. It is best to use the following formulation: “I may not like your decision, action, but my love for you does not depend on it.”
- No more swearing. If there is a desire to speak harshly, to offend a partner, we remain silent.
- We add more humor to family life, affectionate nicknames and the rule of sincere compliments and praise even for little things. It’s not easy to swear and call your partner by an affectionate nickname, right? The quarrel instantly takes on a comical tone.
Come up with your own rituals for seeing off and meeting from work, family traditions that unite and inspire both.
What should I do if I can’t forget the betrayal? Sometimes it is difficult for a man to restore trust in his betrayed lover, to accept her again and forgive her. In this case, you should visit a psychotherapist to understand the true causes of discomfort and fear. After all, in fact, the basis of suffering lies within ourselves.
It has been noticed that the intensity of suffering due to betrayal depends on the degree of responsibility for our own destiny we managed to entrust to an unreliable companion. It is much easier to betray a psychologically helpless person than a confident, independent partner.
Some important nuances of communication after betrayal should be taken into account.
- Don't show your spouse's importance to you. Temporarily put her on a “diet” of hot sex and cold attitudes. This is necessary to redefine you as a partner.
- Learn to be categorical. Get up and leave on time when it comes to important things. Don't forget to talk about the unacceptable attitude towards you that you will not tolerate.
- Some advisers recommend provoking a lady to jealousy. This is a purely individual, far from universal recipe. But you shouldn’t go too far, responding to your beloved’s infidelity with adventures. Value yourself.
- If you have decided to separate permanently, remain firm. Throwing and doubts only complicate life.
If you decide to break up...
How to forget your wife and give yourself another chance to build a happy future? Is there life after betrayal? Eat. Moreover, you have everything you need to make it interesting and full of vivid impressions. Engage in self-development, find something that inspires, fills you with energy, enthusiasm, and passion for life. Let every day be an exciting journey. Make new friends with an active lifestyle.
It is known that the environment greatly influences a person. A close circle of people is a powerful influencing factor and a good source of information, motivation and support. Psychology calls this the “mirror rule.” We choose as friends people who are close in their worldview, life position, goals, hobbies, and habits. This is a comfortable environment, but if this circle does not change, a person stops in personal growth.
Research proves that an individual’s income level is always close to the average financial well-being of people around him. This is explained simply. Let's give an example. An inspired, determined person wants to change his life. Begins to think positively, outlines the right paths of development, and looks for interesting ideas. But his chances of success are diminishing because every night, despite his determination and efforts, he is forced to return to people who do not believe in his potential.
These could be friends, parents, colleagues, those who like to label “all women are the same, you can’t find a normal one, look at yourself.” Generous in criticism, negative assessments, ridicule, exaggerated doubts about success, they awaken old fears of facing failure. “Toxic people” have a detrimental effect on self-esteem, self-confidence, and your own opinion, so limit and clear your space of negative, destructive people.
Don't try to block your feelings. You have the right to be offended, angry and even contempt, this is a normal reaction. If emotional trauma is not treated, unlived pain will periodically remind itself of itself through pathological jealousy in future relationships, lack of sexual desire, and causeless resentment. Pain is always a signal of the need for help.
Let's start a new life
There is an effective way to survive your wife’s betrayal and maintain composure and cope with emotions. Write a letter. This technique is effective for breakups, losses, resentments, and feelings of guilt. It helps to let go of emotions that cause discomfort, realize feelings, cope with fears and takes only fifteen minutes. Focus on feelings, form an image of the offender. Write to him whatever you want to say. Without censorship, self-control, restrictions. Ultimatums, accusations, reproaches, even obscene language are allowed. The main thing is to express feelings.
The more you open up, the higher the effectiveness of this psychological technique will be. Concentrate on the addressee, don’t get lost in thought, this is not a philosophical treatise, but a tough but honest conversation. You need to “exhale” all the negativity, pain, anger, resentment into a sheet of paper. When you realize that there is nothing more to say, reread your text. As many times as necessary, until the emotions subside, lose their strength and severity.
Now destroy the message. Burn it, tear it into hundreds of small pieces, get rid of unnecessary feelings, free yourself. As an option for those who “don’t trust paper,” psychologist Sergei Smirnov recommends doing the technique in the reciting version. Ensure peace, non-interference from strangers and distractions.
Concentrate on the object of the offense. You can use a photograph or an item belonging to the unfaithful spouse. Express whatever is necessary and throw away the “culprit” item, and with it the disturbing feelings, disappointment and resentment.
Stop analyzing your spouse's actions. Often our actions are completely devoid of common sense and rationality. Considering a woman’s tendency to succumb to emotions, impulsiveness, and the desire to plunge headlong into one’s own illusions, the basis for adultery may well be hidden in the woman’s internal disharmony.
Your task is to live on in full awareness of your own worth, dignity and right to happiness. Read books, watch films about people who, having experienced the betrayal of a loved one, deep emotional trauma, managed to recover and achieve success.
Where something is destroyed, there is always space to create something new. This is an unchanging law of life. Infidelity forever destroys a person’s previous world, but makes it possible to create a qualitatively new one. — psychologist Kristina Kudryavtseva
You have the right to be happy! Start a new chapter of your novel with a clean slate.
select a question topic--------------- Family relationships Children and parents Love Friendship Sex, intimate life Health Appearance and beauty Interpersonal conflicts Internal conflict Crisis states Depression, apathy Fears, phobias, anxieties Stress, trauma Grief and loss Addictions and habits Choosing a profession, career The problem of the meaning of life Personal growth Motivation and success Relationships with a psychologist Another question
asks: Artem
Hello. My name is Artem, 34 years old. Four months ago I divorced my wife. They didn’t get along, as they say, in character. As it turned out later, she had a back - she went to someone else... It saddens me to think about it. I am tormented by speculation that she betrayed me even before the divorce. But I can’t forget her either. It seems that I’m getting ready to live in a new way, but in the evening I feel a wave of melancholy. I think about her, remember both the good and the not so good. But how can I change my mind at once and set myself up for the “new wave”. I hope for your advice.
Answers and advice from psychologists
Artem, fortunately or unfortunately, “rebuilding at once” is a myth. Separation, and even more so divorce, is always a crisis. A crisis that needs to be overcome, survived and only then build a new life.
You don't write how long you were married, but, in any case, your experiences are natural and it would be very harmful to ignore them or suppress them in some way.
The best option is to allow yourself to be in this state, to live it.
If you think that this is too long or unbearable for you, then it makes sense to consult a psychologist, but only if you feel that you yourself cannot cope with life, which is now full of precisely these emotions.
Psychologist
Practical psychologist, trainer, coach. more than 15 years of successful practice. I individually select techniques and tools for each client. I identify the underlying causes of problems, subconscious fears and destructive beliefs.
Online consultations
Chat on the site
Personal meetings
Hello, Artem!
The fact that you cannot forget your ex-wife is quite natural; the memory of feelings does not come so quickly; as a rule, it takes 6 months or more (it’s different for everyone).
In addition, you also have a grudge against her. To make this process easier, it would be good to work through the resentment. By working through the resentment we mean forgiving her for doing this to you and yourself, for allowing this situation to happen. Learn from this situation and understand how to build new relationships to prevent this from happening.
As for general recommendations, I can advise you to try not to run into her, not to look at photos of her, not to call, not to look at her pages on social media. networks, etc. So. It will be easier for you to let go of this situation.
22.12.2013, 21:04
37923
5 main reasons that prevent a man from forgetting his wife
There are a variety of formulas for how to forget your ex-wife. Recently, after re-reading them all, I saw that many of them are so imperfect that if I publish another one on my website “The Black Witch Olga,” nothing fatal will happen. Yes, and I promise that my formula will not be a repetition of what has already been published, nor a compilation of it, due to which you can get a completely different perspective on solving the problem of how to forget your wife. And not just a “look”, but a really working method.
Let's start with the reasons that do not allow a man to forget his ex-wife, the main ones of which are only 5. And they will be listed according to their importance - from greatest, as expected, to least:
1. Lack of self-confidence.
After being married for several years (and any endocrinologist and psychologist who get together will confirm this to you), a man goes through an involuntary decrease in hormonal levels, explained solely by the fact that they no longer need to “hunt”, maintaining a constantly high motivation in themselves to fight for the right continue his race as a male. Having acquired a wife, he no longer hunts females, due to which he loses his masculinity, and therefore enters the post-divorce state literally harmoniously castrated.
In addition, a man in marriage loses the skills of courting women, and therefore inevitably fails, doing this the first, second, third time after the divorce. These failures, coupled with a lack of self-confidence resulting from low hormonal levels, lead to a man losing faith in himself, mistakenly beginning to believe that the abandoned man has only one way to regain a full personal and sexual life - to persuade his wife to return.
2. Love.
Even after the destruction of a marriage that has lasted 5, 17 or even more years, love is the second most important reason that makes men suffer, not understanding how to forget their wife, even if she gave them. But it is not surprising, since over so many years people, even with the coolest relationships, become much more to each other than lovers or parents of common children. They turn into kindred spirits who understand each other perfectly. And therefore, losing his wife, who has truly become his own, a man becomes depressed, believing that no other woman will give him such a spiritual relationship. To be honest, he thinks it’s wrong!
3. Feeling of betrayal.
A detailed psychological clamp is characteristic of all egoists who believe after a breakup that they are too good, kind, caring, hypersexual, attractive, patient, financially secure to be abandoned. Such underestimation of their personal qualities inflicts such a deep emotional blow on egoists that almost immediately it turns into an obsession, forcing them to constantly return for years to thoughts about the ingratitude of their ex-wife and mental attempts to prove to her how wrong she was.
4. A feeling of unrealized destiny.
This reason is observed in men with developed consciousness, capable of reading information from their karma. That is precisely why they KNOW that the departure of their wife became a real tragedy, violating their personal working out of karma, which (and this is a mistake), they could only work out with “this woman.” In fact, I, the black witch Olga, guarantee: if the Higher Powers want you to really work out karmic tasks, then, believe me, in the very near future they will select a woman for you, a relationship with whom will allow you to continue your inner work.
5. Humiliation.
Well, the stupidest of men cannot forget their departed spouse, considering themselves humiliated. It is trampled pride that torments them for years, forcing them to treat all other women - potential traitors - with suspicion or open disdain. And poison your consciousness with endless plans for the most terrible revenge, which - and that’s great! – is never destined to come true.
All the reasons that torment men left by their wives cause them a lot of pain. And therefore it is not surprising that almost all of them, tired of suffering, eventually think about how to forget their wife. But to do this, you need to talk about it first.
How to forget your ex-wife who left due to financial instability
For men, whose very nature is determined to awaken everywhere and in everything, the question of how to forget a wife who left them because of small or irregular earnings is sometimes insoluble. However, you still shouldn’t get hung up on him - there will always be a woman who will consider a man, even with an insignificant marriage, to be the ideal breadwinner. Yes, and I strongly recommend not to forget that more and more women do not see anything wrong, that they will earn more than their lovers or husbands, and therefore, if such relationships do not humiliate you personally, feel free to enter into them.
Well, if you nevertheless realized that your ex was right when she reproached you for your inability to earn good money, then take your finger out of your nose and your head from the place where you have been warming it for the last few years, and start working. After all, the formula for how to forget your wife by clearing your mind of memories of her is very simple for such men - the larger sums you earn, the less you grieve for your spouse, who left you because you were unable to do this while living with her.
How to forget your ex-wife, who constantly reminds you of herself
Sometimes the ex herself does not give the opportunity to forget about her. like a real energy vampire, she constantly calls, initiates supposedly random meetings, and leaves messages on social networks. Often she does this because she wants to keep her abandoned husband as an alternate airfield, fearing that her new life may suddenly not work out. But much more often (and this is what the black witch Olga tells you, who is not for nothing considered a great expert on women’s souls), exes do not break ties with the husbands they left in order to torment them. Or, if you prefer, take revenge. “You know how disgusting I felt with you. Now look how good I feel!” And how can one forget one’s wife during such moral persecution?
There is only one way - to give up the intention to wait obediently if they really don’t let you go, for fear of not finding anyone better than you. Allow yourself to have a choice when your wife does decide to return. Find the one - dating sites can help you!!! - a relationship with which will allow you not to give in to impulse and not get along with a woman who has already betrayed you once.
If you are trying to figure out how to forget your ex-wife, who is taking revenge on you with constant messages about her material, career, personal or sexual successes, don’t sit there sluggishly blinking a fish either! Feel free to enter the war, remembering that you can win it only if you really are better than your ex-wife! And may you not buy a million in the next few years, or go on vacation to Baden-Baden. A constantly growing collection of “here I am - your ex - with another new girlfriend” photos will be more than effective in getting your ex to unhook from you.
How to forget about your wife who left for another man
This is the most difficult thing for almost every man without exception - how to forget a wife who has left for another man. I read that many men’s websites suggest going to the gym and then “beating your opponent in the snot.” Women’s sites are less radical, although their advice is no less stupid, since they offer meditations from the “I’m still better than him” series. The black witch Olga advises you to resort to magical revenge - turn to me to induce impotence on your rival, or incurable frigidity on your wife. Or both at once, acting on the principle - to each his own.
I assure you, once you do this, the problem of your wife leaving you for someone else’s bed will instantly stop disturbing and worrying you. After all, the experience of hundreds of my clients who have already used a similar ritual proves that there is no better way to forget your ex-wife who left in search of better sex than to deprive her of the joy for which she betrayed you.
How not to suffer when communicating with your wife if you have children together
In such a case, which causes a feeling of doom in everyone who is trying to figure out how to forget his wife with whom he constantly has to communicate, I am the black witch Olga, I can only advise one thing: Resign yourself, you will never be together again! Refuse to build relationships of “friends,” “buddies,” “people who respect each other and find themselves in a hopeless situation.” Transfer your love to your children. Communicate with your wife in the same way as you would communicate with a teacher in a kindergarten or a class teacher with your children - with respect, but without coquetry, with the consent to listen, but without the obligation to listen and take notice.
And now let me remind you that there is a really reliable way to forget your ex-wife - to contact her. And then, with the help of strong magic, I will clear your memory. After this, you will treat your ex-wife as if there were no scandals, quarrels or betrayals. As if for you she is just one of the 3 billion women living with you on the same earth - no one.
