How to make a decision when in doubt? This is a very important question. After all, our whole life is actually a string of decisions made on the simplest and most complex issues. And each previous decision determines what subsequent new questions life will pose to us and what opportunities will open up before us. It’s strange that the school spent so much time on trigonometry, but did not give any instructions on such an important issue...
I have several faithful assistants - proven techniques that have helped me out many times and helped me make the right decision. I learned some techniques from personal growth trainings, some from the works of great philosophers, and some were suggested to me... by my grandmother.
Sometimes it gets a little scary how even the simplest decision can change our destiny. Here is an example from life:
In this context, I like the film starring Jim Carrey Always say yes" If you haven't seen this film, I highly recommend watching it. Few people know that the comedy is based on the biographical book of British writer Danny Wallace, who answered only “YES” to all offers for 6 months. The writer even starred in the film in the “bachelorette party” scene in a cameo role.The girl was invited to a party during the week. She was thinking whether to go or not to go. Tired after work. Plus there's an important presentation tomorrow morning. Still, I DECIDED to go. And as a result, I met my love. She got married and gave birth to her beloved children. She has found her happiness and often asks herself what her fate would have been like if she had not gone to that party.
So, the continuation of the scenario of our life depends on our every decision, even the smallest one.
So, back to our main question: “How to make the right decision when in doubt?”.
1st method “Intuition”.
All subsequent techniques are very important, but the role of intuition should not be underestimated in any case. You have noticed that most often we immediately know and feel what to do. For example, I I tell myself: “Listen. What is your stomach telling you? You need to listen to your inner voice. But if this does not help, I use several simple and proven techniques.
In fact, this is folk wisdom, which is the quintessence of the experience of many previous generations our ancestors. They have been noticing certain causes and effects for thousands of years. And they passed this knowledge on from generation to generation. So, my grandmother told me, if you have doubts, you don’t know what decision to make, ask the two closest people for advice. Grandmother said that through them the Angels tell you the best decision for you.
This method can to some extent be called a consequence of the previous method: if your Angel cannot “reach out” to you with the right decision through intuition, then he passes it on through the people closest to you.
3rd method “Descartes square for decision making”.
The essence of this simple technique is that the problem or issue must be considered from 4 different sides. After all, we often get hung up on one question: what will happen if THIS HAPPENS? Or, what will I get if I DO THIS? But you need to ask yourself not 1, but 4 questions:
- What will, if this will happen? (pros of this).
- What will, if this NOT will happen ? (pros of not getting it).
- What Will not, if this will happen? (disadvantages of this).
- What Will not, if this will NOT happen? (disadvantages of not getting this).
To make it clearer, you can ask the questions a little differently:
4th technique “Expanding choice”.
This is a very important technique. Often we become fixated on only one choice, “YES or NO,” “Do or Don’t,” and in our persistence we forget to consider all other options. For example, whether to buy this particular car on credit or not. If not, then continue to take the metro. Because we focus only on the “YES or NO” option, we forget about other options. For example, an alternative to taking the subway could be buying an inexpensive car. And no longer on credit.
5th method Jose Silva “Glass of water”.
This is an amazing, effective, working technique. Its author is Jose Silva, who became famous around the world for the Silva Method he developed.– a set of psychological exercises. This is how you should do the exercise. Before going to bed, take a glass of clean, unboiled water with both hands (you can take mineral water), close your eyes and formulate a question that requires a solution. Then drink about half of the water in small sips, repeating to yourself approximately the following words: “This is all I need to do in order to find the right solution.” Open your eyes, put the glass with the remaining water near the bed and go to bed. In the morning, drink your water and thank you for the right decision. The solution may clearly “come” immediately in the morning after waking up, or it may dawn in the middle of the day. The decision will come like a flash and it will become completely incomprehensible, as could be doubted. This is the right decision.
6th technique “Stick to your basic priorities”
The technique is based on the ideas of the philosophers of Ancient Greece. “Ataraxia” is equanimity, calmness. It is achieved when a person correctly distributes the value system. After all, most often a person is restless and suffers from not getting what he wants.
The key to achieving happiness is very simple: you need to be happy with what you have and not desire what you cannot have! (Aldous Huxley)
The wise Greeks distributed the IMPORTANCE of values and their basic priorities as follows:
- Natural and Natural Values like, water and food.
- Values are natural, but not quite natural, dictated by the sociality of all people, for example, the value of having a higher education and other similar stereotypical values. You can free yourself from most of these values.
- Values are not natural and not natural. This is fame, success, veneration, wealth. This is the opinion of others, condemnation from the outside. Or, conversely, excessive praise. You can easily say goodbye to these values!
So, when you want to get something when making a decision, analyze according to the above classification whether you really need it or these are not natural and natural values imposed on you by the stereotypes of society. Don't think about what others will think, but at the same time be sure that your decision will not harm anyone.
7th technique “Wait”.
When taking important and long-term solutions, it is important to get rid of emotions. For example, in relationships with loved ones or if you want to change jobs, but are afraid of change.
Sometimes, to make the right decision, you just have to wait. You know that impulsive desires are often difficult to deal with. At the same time, if you wait a little, the desire may disappear on its own. And what seemed a prime necessity yesterday seems completely unnecessary today. No wonder they say: “I need to sleep with this thought.”
To get rid of emotions, you can use an exercise called “10/10/10”. We need to answer the question “How will I feel about this in 10 hours/10 months/10 years?”
Summary.
You have received the answer to the question, how to make a decision when in doubt? And now you have to make your choice. When making a decision it is important:
- turn off emotions;
- listen to intuition;
- ask advice from 2 closest people;
- consider other options, expand the choice;
- evaluate all the PROS and CONS on the issues of Descartes Square;
- assess whether the decision contradicts your basic principles;
- if possible, postpone the decision, wait, “sleep with this thought” using the “Glass of Water” technique.
In all other circumstances, always be confident in yourself and your dreams, don't give up, be optimistic. Do not think about what others will think, but at the same time, your decision will be correct only when, after making it, you will have peace of mind and you will be sure that you are not harming anyone and are not going against your principles.
Don’t be afraid, make your decision, even if it turns out to be wrong, because “No one stumbles while lying in bed” (Japanese wisdom)!
I wish you inspiration and a lot of strength for all your plans and decisions!
Decide on time
Michael Breus in his book “Always on Time” suggests approaching the issue from the point of view of the science of biorhythms. Each person has their own right time to make decisions. During the day, everyone has moments when a person is unable to make a choice due to a lack of clarity of thinking, he risks making a decision under the influence of emotions. First, determine your chronotype, then analyze your daily routine and try to act in accordance with the recommendations, then your decisions will be thoughtful, and you will not regret them later.
Calm your brain
Fans of meditation claim that a calm and relaxed brain thinks better, and therefore is able to make the best decision. To do this, breathe consciously for a few minutes, or use one of the practices in the book “Joy from Within.”
If you don't want to meditate, there is a longer, but no less effective way to calm your brain. Go to bed.
Calculate opportunity cost
For example, we invite you to a regional choral singing festival on the same evening as the World Cup final. If you are in your right mind, you will refuse the invitation - its opportunity cost is too high. Always consider what “price” you will pay and what benefits you will receive. Try to get more benefits at a lower price.
Keep your distance
A tool that helps you organize your emotions is called 10/10/10 (from the book Thinking Traps). If you're not sure what to do, consider your decisions in three ways. How will we feel about them in 10 minutes? And in 10 months? And in 10 years? Three time frames are an elegant way to force us to distance ourselves a little and make the right decision.
Take seven breaths
Samurai made decisions within seven breaths. If the samurai was unable to make a decision during this time, he switched to something else, since this meant that either he himself was not ready for the decision or there were no suitable circumstances.
Start from the worst option
This method is also suitable for making collective decisions. For example, your colleagues can't decide where to go for lunch, and no one offers options. Say, “Let’s have lunch at McDonald’s.” Immediately after this, everyone will reject your idea and start offering options. Thus, starting from a obviously unsuitable offer, you begin to generate better options. So, if you can’t make a decision, choose the worst, clearly unsuitable option. By starting from it, you can avoid stupor and begin to analyze better alternatives.
Play sports
Co-author of the book “Charged to 100%” Renat Shagabutdinov went through all stages of amateur sports: from no sports at all, or two to four light runs per week, to training for an ultramarathon or Ironman with seven to ten workouts per week and running up to 135 km per week. . His observations show that there is a sweet spot - a golden mean: the ideal amount of exercise that allows you to be in excellent shape, sleep six hours and feel as if you slept for seven, wake up easily and think perfectly. In turn, three to four workouts a week for 30–40 minutes will give you vigor, strength, good mood, and the ability to maintain your work pace much longer than before. And you will be able to get enough sleep even in less time than usual, and your sleep will become stronger. Additionally, exercise improves your brain's performance. How you feel throughout the day directly affects the quality of your decision making.
Don't delay
Sometimes procrastination gets in the way of making a decision. We know the right answer, but we just can't take the step because it's not urgent or isn't important yet. They say that procrastination is the plague of the 21st century. Because the peasant in the Middle Ages, for example, had no opportunity to put things off. If you don’t chop wood, don’t bring water, don’t feed the livestock, hunger, cold, and death will come. Modern conditions do not make procrastination fatal. All you have to do is force yourself to believe that postponing is like death. And you have no other choice.
Make a good movie
Larisa Parfentyeva in her book “100 Ways to Change Your Life” gives an interesting method of decision-making. A friend told her about this technique. “Every time I have to make a decision, I think about the film I'm making now. If I am offered participation in some project, then I ask myself: “Suppose I agree and this project ends up in my film, the audience will say, “Wow!” “Is this powerful!” or not? “When I talk to someone, I ask myself: “Is this dialogue worthy of being in a movie?” Would it teach viewers anything? Or would you watch this moment on rewind? “And this is also a great motivation for action - for example, on a day off, when you could lie in bed or otherwise kill time. I understand that for my legendary film about a legendary life it would be too boring, and I come up with adventures for the coming day. This question had a very serious impact on my worldview. Now there is nothing to be done: after all, I am the main character of my own film. You have to play your best."
Keep it simple
Ask anyone who has created anything truly creative, and they will honestly tell you that they have no idea where the right solutions come from. He's just doing his thing. Every day.
Give up perfectionism
When you have a distorted value system and are completely absorbed in minutiae, it is much more difficult to get work done, much less make decisions. You constantly ask yourself: am I doing the right thing? Look at your abilities and priorities more soberly. Accept that in most cases “good enough” is “ideal” and that mistakes are inevitable in life.
Silence your monkey
There's a little voice in each of our heads that's trying to convince you that what you're doing, or are about to do, or are just thinking about doing, is a terrible idea that will destroy your life. He is here to warn you, to scare you, to stop you. As a result, you start to torment yourself. You may, having almost made a decision, suddenly give up on it, think that you should ask someone else for advice, you may doubt your choice, destroy everything you have achieved, forget about all the words of praise and support that you were told, completely lose faith in yourself.
Don't ignore contradictions
By focusing on one possible solution, we reject all others. We perceive only those facts that confirm our opinion. The brain works the same way in smart, educated people and their opposites. While defending our position, we are not always ready to consider the issue from other sides. By focusing on one chosen position and defending it, we lose objectivity.
Make decisions for yourself
Legendary swimmer Michael Phelps' coach Bob Bowman explains why his protégé decided to return to the sport after the London Olympics. At that time, he already had twenty-two Olympic medals, eighteen of them gold, a dozen world records and millions of dollars. “There are no other reasons. I want to come back for myself. I love swimming. “I want to swim,” said Michael. “I still have something to strive for.” When making decisions, you must think first of all about yourself: what will be the best development of events for you personally?
Use a learning loop
The simplest way to learn how to make decisions in various life circumstances is called a learning loop. It is an ongoing cycle of requests, thoughts and actions. Based on it, we learn to act in such a way as to get what we need in any situation. Over time, this feedback loop, or learning loop, shapes patterns of beliefs and behavior.
Separate emotions and reason
The reason we can't make unbiased decisions lies in our brains. Everything we see, hear, smell and touch is transformed into electrical signals. They are passed from cell to cell until they reach their final destination - the brain. There, signals first pass through the limbic system, the area in which our emotions are formed, and only then enter the part of the brain responsible for rational thinking. Before the mind comes into action, we evaluate what is happening from an emotional point of view. When we have to make a difficult decision, our emotions run high. We go over arguments in our heads, agonize over certain circumstances, and change our minds every day. If the solution were a table, then none of the numbers would change (because there was no new information coming in), but in our heads it looks different. Where does impartial analysis come from?
Plan ahead
If you know you tend to make bad decisions here and now, plan what you want to do in advance. Want to read an intellectual book? Set a day to start reading it. Can't go to the gym? Set a date and prepare a tracksuit the evening before. Make a decision and then just stick to it.
Control your thoughts
Controlling your thoughts is the hardest part of the path to success. There is nothing more complicated than this. This is the biggest test. And frankly, the most important thing. We must admit that the path to success is harsh and difficult. You will definitely get bruises and abrasions on it. Therefore, you need to be mentally tough. What you do, how far you go, how successful you are, what you achieve - all these are the results of your ability to control your mind, your thoughts.
Think about different options
Even a faint hint of an alternative is enough for you to make the right decision. Every time you make a choice, think about how you can increase the number of options. Wondering where to order pizza? Why not make it at home! Do you want to go to a movie? There are many other entertainments in the world - theater, museums, exhibitions. By thinking about one development of events, we significantly narrow the choice.
The life of each of us is an endless stream of decisions. You constantly have to choose: what to buy, how to spend the evening, what profession to choose, what deal to accept and what to reject, etc.
Fortunately, in most cases, making the right decision is quite simple. Our subconscious does not have to spend a lot of time choosing one of the options, since it is definitely better. But there are situations when it is not clear which of the chosen options will bring more benefit and less harm.
Remember the legendary film “The Matrix”, when Morpheus asked Neo to choose one of the pills. From the outside it may seem that choosing freedom and life in reality was easier and more correct than forgetting everything and continuing to exist in a fairy tale. In fact, most people choose the other side in their lives.
But we're getting a little off topic. So, there are situations when it is not easy to make the right decision. Each of the possible options has a lot of advantages and even more disadvantages that we would not like to receive. In addition, each of the options will have a lot of consequences that we could not even imagine.
2 approaches to decision making
There are two ways that can help us make a choice. We have used each of them in our lives, it’s just that some people choose one more often, others more often use the second.
1. When to turn on logic?
Careful consideration of possible options and their consequences is characteristic of making logical decisions. Using this approach, we can weigh the pros and cons, analyze the possible benefits and losses of each of the possible options.
The logical approach is best used in situations where there is a lot of input data and most of the consequences are easily predicted. As a rule, this approach is best used in business and in any other business areas of life, in cases where the possible risks are very high.
2. When to use intuition?
Often we find ourselves in a situation where it is almost impossible to imagine the further development of events. There is no past experience corresponding to similar situations, and there is no way to extract and analyze information from other sources. And you need to make a decision quickly, since “delay is like death.”
In this case, there is nothing left to do but listen to your intuition and make a quick and unambiguous choice. All the same, we will not be able to make any accurate forecasts.
The need to make such decisions almost always arises in personal life and in everything related to human feelings and emotions.
Regardless of which approach you prefer, I recommend that you adhere to the following five principles to help you make the right decision:
Principle 1. Never rely on “maybe”. Always make your own decision.
Don't wait for everything to work itself out or for someone else to do it for you. Indecision is also a decision, but in this case you are no longer in control of the situation, and therefore have no power over your life. Often people put off making a decision until there are no more equivalent options worthy of consideration, and this is no longer a decision.
Consciously making a decision, even an unpleasant one, will prepare you in advance to accept its consequences and, most likely, it will be easier for you to cope with its negative consequences. And maybe you can even find a way to get rid of some of the problems associated with this.
Principle 2. Make a decision quickly.
By postponing the decision until later, we usually increase our bet in this game. As a rule, intuition tells us the best ways, but intuition only works for a short time, then all your past experience, fears, doubts and other nonsense that your brain is loaded with comes into play. All this only clutters our consciousness and pushes us to mistakes.
The sooner you can decide on your choice, the more time you will have to prepare for its negative consequences. There will be time to “spread the straw”, as a result, you will be able to extract more benefit from the path you have chosen.
Principle 3. Once you make a decision, start acting immediately and don’t stop.
Nothing delays achieving your goals more than procrastination. Having once postponed the implementation of your decisions, it will not be difficult for you to postpone in the future, and this risks the fact that you will never achieve the goals for which you made the decision. Often, what we thought about and decided to do is forgotten after a few days. No one has yet canceled the long box - it is in it that all our greatest achievements are stored.
Principle 4. Don't change your mind halfway through the process.
Achieving any result requires time and effort. There is no point in expecting that the result will come easily and quickly. And if you constantly change your decisions, then all this will be similar to Brownian motion (the chaotic movement of the molecules of a substance, in which the substance itself does not move anywhere) and no result will definitely come.
Get it into your head that you can only get results by reaching the end.
If you decide to become rich, then follow through. If after a week you decide that this is difficult and it’s better to become healthy. Stop saving money and start eating right. In another week you will stop eating vegetables, because... you want barbecue, and decide to be beautiful by playing sports. Then you can continue on your own.
Principle 5. The most important. Never regret your decision.
Often people believe that they have made the wrong decision. It was necessary to act differently. The trick is that you will never be able to find out whether you did the right thing, because... impossible to check. Always consider your choice to be the only correct one.
For example, you bought a car, and a week later its engine broke down. My first thought was that I had to buy another one, but on the other, at the most inopportune moment, the brakes could fail. What would be better?
In fact, making the right decision is not difficult, it is much more difficult to take responsibility for its consequences! Follow the given rules, they will help you and get outstanding results.
Good luck, Dmitry Zhilin
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Federal Law of 08.08.2001 N 129-FZ (as amended on 27.12.2018) “On state registration of legal entities and individual entrepreneurs” (as amended and supplemented, entered into force on 01.01.2019)
Article 13.1. Notice of reorganization of a legal entity
1. A legal entity, within three working days after the date of the decision on its reorganization, is obliged to notify the registration authority in writing about the start of the reorganization procedure, including the form of reorganization, with the decision on reorganization attached. If two or more legal entities participate in the reorganization, such notification is sent by the legal entity that last made the decision on reorganization or by a certain decision on reorganization. Based on this notification, the registration authority, within no more than three working days, makes an entry in the unified state register of legal entities that the legal entity (legal entities) is (are) in the process of reorganization.
2. The reorganized legal entity, after making an entry in the unified state register of legal entities about the beginning of the reorganization procedure, twice with a frequency of once a month, places a notice of its reorganization in the media in which data on the state registration of legal entities is published. If two or more legal entities participate in the reorganization, a notice of reorganization is published on behalf of all legal entities participating in the reorganization by the legal entity that last made the decision on reorganization or a certain decision on reorganization. The notice of reorganization contains information about each legal entity participating in the reorganization, created (continuing activities) as a result of the reorganization, the form of reorganization, a description of the procedure and conditions for creditors to submit their claims, and other information provided for by federal laws. The reorganized legal entity, within five working days after the date of sending the notice of the start of the reorganization procedure to the body carrying out state registration of legal entities, notifies in writing the creditors known to it about the start of the reorganization, unless otherwise provided by federal laws.
3. Entering into the unified state register of legal entities an entry(s) stating that a legal entity(ies) is(are) in the process of reorganization, as well as other entries in connection with the reorganization of legal entities is not allowed in the case of participation in the reorganization of a legal entity , in respect of which a decision has been made to liquidate it.
