Do girls really like shy guys or do they still like confident young men? Find out what girls see in a shy guy and what you can do to become the perfect guy for the lady you like.
Shy men can't help but be liked. And almost all girls feel safe around them. They talk little and listen well.
Many people definitely like cute, shy guys who can just sit and silently watch the ladies, smile sweetly and listen to everything they are told.
Why are shy guys better than confident young people?
Firstly, this Good friends. They are good listeners and very attentive. Secondly, these are good lovers. Girls feel strong next to them.
Many representatives of the fair sex like guys who are shy at first, but soon, after a few conversations, open up. They definitely don't like young people who are constantly shy. But such people are rare, because even the most modest men liberate themselves immediately after a few conversations.
What should an ideal guy be like?
Shy young people have a lot positive qualities. They are more sensitive and caring, and girls enjoy their company. But despite this, ideal guy- is one that:
- can protect;
- able to provide;
- will seek the girl's favor.
These three points are pretty simple, but these are exactly the requirements where almost every shy guy fails. And after that, with this fashion, a person immediately goes from the status of a boyfriend to the status of a best friend.
The bad qualities of shy guys that scare away all the girls
It is easy for representatives of the fairer sex to communicate with such men. But there are a few bad qualities that will turn off anyone, not just the girl you like:
- The problem is that these guys don't have the so-called backbone. They can't do anything. They often prefer to stand on the sidelines rather than take center stage.
- Shy guys are very accommodating and will give in to any problem to avoid conflict. Even if someone insults them, they will pretend as if they don't hear it, although in reality they are exploding with rage inside.
- Shy guys are more likely to back out of a fight than to fight. Although they tell everyone that fighting won't solve anything, in reality such guys are just weaklings.
- They are too slow. In order to get to know a shy guy better, a girl must have a lot of patience. When a beautiful girl can get any confident guy, will she be interested in advising shy men on how to act?
- Shy guys don't trust other people, especially other members of the stronger sex. If some leftist guy tried to hit on your girlfriend, would you have the courage to stand up and put him in his place? Alas, shy men are not capable of this.
How to turn your shyness into an advantage
Your shyness can create a lot of difficulties, especially when it comes to meeting people. beautiful girl.
Here are some tips you could use to make shyness your advantage.
Become a quiet guy
Transform your shyness into confidence. Don't let anyone think that you are shy. Instead, act like you're just a chill guy who likes his own space.
Act like you are a confident person
Try to talk less and don’t let anyone think you’re worried. Be less nervous and instead respond in short sentences that make you seem confident.
Be bolder, don't be afraid to come up and speak first
It's unavoidable. You need to gather your courage and start the conversation first. After the meeting, write the girl a nice SMS message. Walk her home in silence, avoiding any long conversations, and focus all your attention on your texts and gifts.
Take a walk in crowded places
Shy guys feel confident when they know everything is going according to plan. Don't be afraid of walking in a crowded place full of beautiful girls. Try to attract the attention of not only the fairer sex you like.
Don't tell a girl you're a shy guy
Saying that you are shy can work against you. She will immediately feel superior to you. By pretending to be a quiet guy, you can appear mysterious and more attractive to any girl.
The best way is not to be a shy guy
At some point, many were shy guys and shy girls. Some got rid of it in childhood, while others got rid of it in adolescence. The sooner you realize the need for change, the faster you can become a confident person. Here are five steps that can help you overcome your shyness.
Be more relaxed
Make every effort to become relaxed. What's the point of waiting until a few meetings are just friendly? Shy guys are cute friends, not cute boyfriends. A shy guy may be attractive to girls in your teens, but not when you're in your 30s.
Don't be afraid to meet girls
Feel free to approach ladies and start a conversation, even if you have no intention of dating them. Sometimes you just need a little socializing to feel more confident in your abilities. With such casual conversations, you might one day meet a girl you fall in love with.
Don't be afraid of being judged
Girls are just like you
Only they have female body parts. Don't forget that girls are also part of the human race. They like boys, just like you like girls. They want to make a good impression on you, just as much as you want to impress them. Some girls may have more confidence than you, but that doesn't mean you can't become as confident as them.
Learn from your mistakes
The dumbest shy guys are the ones who know they are shy and yet do nothing to open up. They are afraid of failure and rejection and end up hiding in their small world and think about how unfair the whole Universe is to them. Don't be like that. It's normal to get rejected a couple of times before you meet the perfect girl!
So do girls like shy guys or not? Of course, they love you, but as long as the guy can be shy and confident at the same time. But if you can't be that guy, just follow the above tips and you are sure to win any girl you like with a little effort. Although it is possible that there are girls who are simply crazy about shy men, they themselves love to command and keep everything under control.
- There is a very serious downside to asking his friends: you may be given the wrong information about whether he likes you or not. Because he is shy and rarely expresses his feelings, you might have the misconception that he is not interested in you, when the opposite is true.
- There is another very serious downside to asking his friends, which is that you kind of leave the ball in his court. When he knows or guesses that you like him, he may think that you want him to ask you out. This will make him feel pressure from you. As sad as it is, you will have to do a lot to reassure him on this matter.
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Compare his behavior towards you with his behavior towards other people. The behavior of shy guys can be quite strange and seem pointless. Instead of just analyzing his behavior when he is around you, compare the way he behaves when he is around other people. Check it all out additional aspects of his behavior while he is around you - whether these are good or bad aspects. Is he extra polite and attentive? Is he very quiet? Very nervous? Very irritable? If he treats you differently than everyone else, then he certainly has strong feelings towards you.
- Is he really quiet around you? His inability to talk may be due to nervousness: he is in love with you and is so afraid of saying something strange or stupid that he decided it would be better not to say anything at all when you are together.
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Read body language. However, instead of looking for signs of normal flirting techniques in his behavior (such as approaching, touching, or other body language "phrases" that say "look at me"), look for signs that he feels awkward around you. If he looks down, crosses his arms, avoids straight eye contact or makes nervous gestures more often than usual when he's around you, there's a chance that he's just making an extra effort to hide his interest in you.
- Does he move his hands restlessly, fidget with his clothes, or touch his hair when you talk to him? Such manifestations are certainly signs of nervousness; talking to you makes him so nervous that he can't stand still.
- Does he break out into a sweat when you're around him? Sweating is another sign of nervousness. Sweating is an involuntary physical reaction, and if he could control it, he would. But he can’t, so perspiration appears on his forehead, and small spots appear in his armpits.
- Does he blush from embarrassment or find it difficult to breathe around you? Blush from embarrassment can be hard to notice, but on some guys it's clearly visible: his face lights up and he looks like he just ran a mile and a half. If he has trouble breathing, it's a sign that he knows he has to say something, but he can't find the right words, or just any words, to say it.
- He is often near you, but not getting closer with you? Maybe he enjoys your company but just doesn't want to touch your hand when you're around. If he's always around but never close enough to you, then maybe he's just as hopelessly in love with you as you are with him.
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Try to catch his gaze. Since shy guys suppress their feelings much more than others, they try to keep their interest a secret, and sometimes avoid the danger of falling in love altogether, they often sneak glances in order to somehow compensate for their shyness. Look at him with peripheral vision to notice how he looks at you when he thinks you don't notice. If he looks a few times, he definitely likes you. However, be careful: if you look at him at this moment and he immediately turns away, he will be very embarrassed. Smile at him if you want to give him hope.
- Does he consistently avoid looking at you? Even shy guys look at girls "sometimes." If he consistently tries not to look at you, then maybe he doesn't want you to notice his secret feelings. Pay attention to whether he looks at other girls to find out if he does this all the time or only when he's around you.
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Pay attention to how he talks to you. Everyone gets a little nervous when they're talking to someone they like, but shy guys get it even worse; usually they give either short, quiet, or even, which happens quite often, even sharp answers or they answer very quickly and leave in panic. Again, pay attention to whether he talks awkwardly only to you or to other people too.
- Does he give you short yes or no answers and refuse to explain anything? It wasn't that he wasn't interested in talking; He too much interested in the conversation and just doesn't want to say anything that might express his affection for you.
- Is he more confident around friends? His friends give him some psychological support. He's still afraid of failing, but he's a little more willing to engage in conversation.
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See if he is friendly with your friends. He doesn't necessarily like your friends, he's just looking for an excuse to be closer to you and wants to be able to learn about you from the people who know you best. Especially if he tries to make friends with all your friends, and Not with you, it could mean that he has fallen in love with you.
- However, make sure he doesn't flirt with your friends. If this is the case, then it may mean that he truly loves one of them and not you. On the other hand, he may just be flirting to show you that he can impress other girls.
Let's find out everything for real
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Ask him to do something for you. Although shy guys beware actively get close to those they are interested in, they often do things passively to show that they care about you. If he loves you, then most likely he will be ready to leave all his affairs in order to help you, and more than once. Nevertheless, Don't abuse your power over him. This is especially cruel to a shy guy; in fact, maybe the reason he is shy in the first place is that he is used to being treated poorly.
- Calmly and kindly ask him to carry your books or backpack for you to the next class. If you need an excuse (you can't just ask for one), then tell him that your back is a little sore and you don't want it to get worse.
- Ask him to help you with difficult homework. If he is not good at math, then don't ask him to help you with geometry - it will only make him more nervous. Find out what he does well and ask him to explain it to you.
- Invite him to exchange something tasty that he brought for lunch. Maybe he brought gummies and you two met in the cafeteria. Ask him for some gummies in exchange for frosted apples or something sweet. If he gives his candies without hesitation, then this is definitely a good sign.
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Give him a nice compliment and see how he reacts to it. The compliment doesn’t have to be very flattering: “good solution” or “thanks for your help with math!” quite suitable. It may be hard for you to give a compliment, especially if you're shy too, but it will really help him feel safe around you and also give you a chance to find out if he likes you. The most important thing to pay attention to is his reaction:
- Reaction he's in love with you:
- He stutters, becomes silent, or becomes very embarrassed or even more shy
- He compliments you even if it's not entirely appropriate.
- Reaction he doesn't like you:
- He pretends there was no compliment at all
- He reacts with obvious displeasure or disappointment
- Reaction he's in love with you:
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Chat with him online. Many shy guys feel more comfortable when they are in front of a screen than during face-to-face interactions. Try starting a conversation with him on Facebook, Twitter or Skype and use the following tips to find out whether he flirts with you online or not.
- If He sends to you request on Facebook, then this is a great sign. Refrain from sending a request first if you have just met him. Wait until he does it himself. Guys tend to do things online that they couldn't do in person. And he definitely wants to get to know you if he sends such a message.
- If he's only really talkative online and enjoys talking to you, it's because while he'd love the chance to talk to you in person, he wants to be in control of the situation. He feels more in control online when he doesn't have to worry about coming out to you in person.
- Ask him a few questions and see if he asks you anything. Shy guys tend to be pretty good at asking questions (they don't want to talk to themselves all the time). If he consistently asks you about your background, your goals, or just how your day was, then take this as a good sign.
- Don't limit your conversations to just the Internet. This is a great opportunity to start talking to him (on the site or in chat), but eventually you will need to approach him and try to get him to open up to you. IN otherwise, he will be too comfortable online and may need extra courage to take the step of developing a personal relationship.
Take action
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Start your relationship with him in his native element. You can often feel that shy guys are somewhat at odds with the rest of the world, as if the world is spinning at one speed and they are spinning at another. This can make doing basic things like interacting with people at school excruciatingly difficult. But there is a possibility that the shy guy has a “safe place” where he feels completely comfortable and at home. If you can find that place and make yourself feel welcome there, that will be the first step to becoming friends.
- Where is this special place? It depends on the guy! For some guys it's a football field, for others it's a library. Find out what he likes to do most and work your way to his comfort zone.
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Be prepared to remain friends to begin with. Shy guys stay in just friendly relationships for excruciatingly long periods of time, worrying about the pros and cons of asking you out. For them friendly relations- this is the golden mean. They have the opportunity to be close to you and communicate and do not risk inviting you. Thus, they are in a low-risk area, and many shy guys like it that way.
- Don't get upset or believe those who say you can't date him after you've become friends. This is simply not true. You control your own destiny.
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Pay attention to your body language. You tried to read his body language in order to understand if he liked you; now it's time to study your own body language in order to understand whether you are sending him the right signs. The trick is to communicate openly and not close yourself off:
Be patient as he approaches you. The best option- show him that he is interesting enough to you, so that he understands this well and invites you on a date. Then you will know for sure that he has fallen in love with you, and you will not doubt it during your meetings. If you get close to him in his native element, make friends, correct your body language and have a little patience, then he will invite you if he likes you. It's just a matter of time.
Don't directly ask him if he likes you. Such “confrontations” are the Achilles heel of shy guys. Not only will he deny that he is interested in you, but he will also start avoiding you out of embarrassment after all this. Always use subtle and insightful techniques when approaching a shy guy.
Don't ask his friends if he likes you. The most important priority for a shy guy is secrecy. If a shy guy has a crush on you, it's very, very likely that he hasn't told anyone about it and doesn't even intend to.
Shyness often seems like a curse rather than a blessing. From childhood, people who are easily embarrassed become accustomed to many of life's difficulties. At first it is not easy to go to the board and answer a question in front of the whole class; then the same difficulties pass into adult life, making it difficult to communicate at work or just with strangers.
It may seem surprising, but as for modest girls and women, many men choose just such. Although a sociable and confident girl initially attracts attention, for many men there are millions of reasons why they would prefer a more modest, and even shy girl. And here are some of them.
Why choose the modest?
1. Modesty means femininity. Of course, this is not an immutable rule now. However, for a man, such behavior often signals that he should be proactive, since a modest girlfriend is one who behaves in accordance with the traditional distribution of roles.
For example, she will not contact a man first, but will wait until he speaks to her. It is important for men to conquer the weaker sex; it is important to be active and achieve women.
2. Modesty adds mystery. If you have ever met with shy guy you will definitely understand what I mean we're talking about. You can never guess what a modest person is thinking about at one time or another. And also, girls who seem to be hard to touch always provoke men with their behavior to demonstrate their abilities to them and impress them.
3. Guys can also suffer from shyness. And here your modesty will play into your hands. After unsuccessful attempts to interact with overly sociable and confident women, such guys find it much easier to communicate with modest girls. They can be sure that they will not be pushed away. They are natural. It's easy for them to be with you.
4. Shyness can signal great potential in love. Indeed, for many men, fantasies about dominance and submission are the most vivid. Therefore, here your peculiarity can serve as a sure promise of pleasure.
As you can see, shyness can be a significant advantage in the realm of relationships. And therefore, in any situation it is worth remaining yourself - even if the main quality of your true “I” is modesty.
Rare in modern world quality - modesty. It manifests itself as the ability to control oneself, self-control, and calmness. You can be a modest person both in character and in lifestyle. This quality is the result of education and work on oneself. Humble people are not those who have no virtues, but those who know how not to praise them.
Signs of modesty
Modesty is a quality, more suitable for women and girls. More and more often there are ladies who are liberated and vulgar. Modesty is expressed in the following signs:
- moderation in one's desires;
- indifference to wealth, luxury, excesses;
- lack of desire to show one's strengths;
- sedateness in relationships with people;
- following the limits of decency;
- ability to carry on a conversation.
Shyness is often attached to the concept of modesty. But these definitions should not be confused. Shy girls are timid and indecisive, while modest girls are distinguished by good manners, restraint, and self-control.
Appearance of a prude
A modest girl is not only distinguished by neatness and good manners, but also by style:
- Strictness and restraint in clothing. Miniskirts, bare shoulders and open busts are not acceptable. Classic cut suits and closed blouses are appropriate. Skirts are plain, dull, below the knee. You need to dress with taste, emphasizing the advantages of your figure and posture.
- Makeup is no frills, soft, natural.
- Strict haircut or braided hair. Hair of natural color.
- Modest and small earrings. No tattoos or piercings.
- Manicure and pedicure in soft colors.
Modest girls only emphasize natural beauty. The absence of vulgarity in appearance, the ability to look after and care for oneself are the main criteria for modesty.
Positive traits
Modesty is always expressed in respect for other people, in awareness of boundaries. A woman with this quality is always tactful and will never impose her thoughts and ideas. She respects the choices and opinions of others. Does not publicly display his achievements. She has the ability to listen and give advice discreetly. Vanity, the search for praise and recognition - this is not about her. Women's modesty does not allow them to brag about their talents and natural abilities.
The virtues of modesty:
- open opportunities to analyze, learn from others' best qualities;
- lack of pride, envy;
- Always a good relationship with others;
- the ability to accumulate collected energy;
- inner peace and vitality;
- protection from envy and negative influence;
- emphasizing kindness, femininity, tenderness, spiritual and external beauty;
- maintaining chastity.
Modest girls are always feminine and very attractive. This quality helps them perceive the world more calmly and thereby attract the male sex. The ability to develop modesty will become significant and will help you become kinder and more gentle.
Modest girls are feminine and attractive
Reasons for the popularity of prudes
Modest ladies are always liked by men. They are undemanding, do not chase money and chic, and do not participate in competitions to quickly seduce men. The reasons why guys like shy girls are obvious:
- Mysteriousness. Such darlings are more silent, thereby pushing a man to look for some kind of mystery in them. Everyone wants to know more about the girl and solve this mystery.
- Silence. Many men do not like talkative girls, and modesty does not mean chatting long and thoughtlessly. Guys like to be listened to and are embarrassed to speak.
- Beauty. Modest ladies do not use bright cosmetics and do not dress pompously, therefore their beauty is more natural. Such girls always seem more tender and beautiful both in appearance and in internal qualities.
- The secret of understanding. Active, emotional girls are like an open book. It is easy for a man to see their attitude towards him. Modest individuals are calm; it is difficult to understand from their facial expressions what impression the interlocutor makes on them.
- Control. Men love to be in control in relationships. If a girl is very modest, she allows this, thereby attracting the attention of men.
- Protection. Men love to feel like a protector. With modest women, they behave more confidently and decisively, thereby increasing their self-esteem.
Discreet and slightly shy girls attract men. Equally well-mannered, decent and intelligent men are drawn to them.
Excessive modesty
In society, a girl’s modesty will always be revered, but sometimes even such a bright quality can become a burden. There are times when it prevents one from opening up and becomes a kind of vice. Excessive modesty, which was instilled in a girl in childhood, can develop into stiffness and complexes. Not every area of life needs shy people. Sometimes consistency in clothes and manners leads to the fact that an outwardly attractive woman turns into a gray mouse, an intimidated person who is afraid to speak out and interpret her point of view. In everything there must be a limit and a boundary drawn.
Shy girls become good wives and housewives, but sometimes they become fixated only on this. A man wants to see in front of him a modest but confident woman who knows how to not be afraid to carry on a conversation and communicate with people. A lady with excessive modesty can’t even dream of career advancement. Although management loves pliable, silent employees, proactive people will always be more highly valued.
Modest women know how to combine restraint and work and achieve results. Very shy people should not forget about their individuality.
Sometimes a man does not know how to behave with a modest, beautiful girl: what to talk about, what places to invite, etc. These people feel discomfort in certain places and when communicating with a certain category of people. If a guy has a modest, shy girlfriend, you need to remember this and support her in everything:
- don't try to change it;
- find general theme for conversation;
- stock up on time and patience;
- choose cozy, uncrowded meeting places;
- learn to keep your distance in everything;
- give the girl more personal space;
- reduce pressure and strength;
- keep yourself in control.
With such girls it is easy, but at the same time very difficult. They surround themselves with a wall, but overcoming it may be easier than it seems. Modest girls love coziness and comfort in relationships. To get them, you need patience and restraint. Almost always, modest ones become wonderful wives, understanding, able to make concessions, listen, and sympathize.
Conclusion
Women wrote about modesty in poems and novels. In different eras, it was a symbol of humility, an adornment of character. Its advantages are that such women are pliable, do not contradict, are gentle, and pleasant to talk to. Everyone chooses for themselves the qualities for which they respect and love a person. Being modest is easy and difficult at the same time. But this quality helps a lot in life and is always appreciated.
Many girls are interested in whether guys like them modest girls. This issue is quite controversial, since every person has his own opinion on this matter. Some believe that only such girls can attract young men. After all, they will be wonderful wives and mothers. But there are also those who believe that it would be uninteresting to be with such a girl, especially since she will never be able to take the initiative in anything. Therefore, everyone has their own opinion.
Do guys like modest girls? Previously, only such girls were valued. It was believed that they would be excellent housewives and companions. Now such people have no chance of becoming successful in life. This applies to personal life and profession. Modern life is that women need to be able to present themselves correctly. And because of modesty, many problems can arise.
Not all young people pay attention to modest girls. Concerning Serious relationships and marriage, then it is these young ladies who have the best chances. Because behavior in this case plays an important role.
The advantages of modest girls
Young people like them for the following reasons:
- In this case, there will be no jealousy in the marriage. Because of modesty, the girl will not allow herself to behave frivolously;
- Shy women love the comfort of home, which means they will not lead a wild lifestyle. Such housewives always prefer to take care of the house;
- Typically, such girls have little interest in shopping. Their wardrobe will be enough for them. The housewife will not spend the family budget on anything unnecessary;
- Another advantage of modest girls is virginity. The young man will be sure that he is the only man with his wife.
What is the actual situation?
Established stereotypes change over time. The above principles may be erroneous, so it is not always necessary to focus on these indicators when choosing a wife. For example, many young men persistently court modest girls, which leads to jealousy.
A modest woman may not be a practical housewife. She may be quite lazy, and therefore home improvement is not for her. A girl can only wear expensive clothes, although look modest.
Modesty must be distinguished from tightness. With the first quality, girls are tactful, well-mannered, know how to behave, and are not vulgar. Uptight individuals have many complexes, which is why they blush at every male gaze. These are the ladies who make good housewives.
Young people may be bored with an insecure girl who cannot take the initiative. They also care about the opinions of others about their bride, especially their friends. For a status person, a modest girl can become a problem. If your work requires you to attend corporate parties or other events, then the chosen one must skillfully carry on the conversation. If it is difficult for her to do this, then this may affect her husband’s reputation.
Developing humility
Is it possible to develop modesty? Psychologists believe that, if desired, every person can develop almost any qualities. To do this, there are simple rules that must be followed constantly. These include:
- If there are obscene words in the speech, then such individuals are not considered well-mannered. Such expressions are acceptable only among friends;
- When talking with unfamiliar people, you need to behave culturally;
- To others important indicator is appearance. You should not wear loose clothes, you just need to choose decent ones. But flashy outfits and bright makeup are unlikely to indicate modesty;
- You need to adjust your image. Neckline and tight clothing are more suitable for evening outings;
- Do not drink alcohol, smoke, laugh loudly in public places;
- A negative factor is hysteria;
- It is important to be tactful;
- Other people's mistakes should not be discussed in public; it is better to talk to the person alone.
How to become interesting?
Appearance is an important factor. Every girl should pay attention to caring procedures in order to always look neat. Comprehensive development is also important. It will always be interesting to talk with a smart girl on any topic.
Not all young people are interested in busy, successful, popular girls. Such couples simply will not have time for personal communication and meetings. Ladies with whom it is difficult to carry on a conversation are not very attractive to them. Everyone knows that a conversation should be interesting to all participants.
To be interesting, you need to convince young man that he is very important to you. You need to talk about everything frankly, and also show more attention. With such attention, guys usually pay attention to such girls.
To ensure positive communication, you must adhere to the following rules:
- You must always be yourself. You can update your style, eliminate shortcomings, improve, but you always need to be yourself. Don't appear better than you really are. You can become interested in a guy’s hobby, but you shouldn’t completely follow his interests;
- Don't talk too much. Both sides should be involved in the conversation so that the conversation will be interesting. Sometimes girls talk too much out of embarrassment, which only complicates the interaction between the parties;
- Don't be silent during a conversation. This usually happens when there is tightness. The young man will think that the conversation is not interesting. If something is not clear, just ask, inquire;
- Girls shouldn't set up a date on their own; let the guy do it. He will be pleased for his dominance in the pair;
- You can be modest at the beginning of a relationship, but then such behavior may seem frivolous to a young man;
- Clothing should be chosen depending on the occasion. The guy may feel awkward in this situation;
- It is better to use a small amount of cosmetics. It is better to choose natural shades from colors. Usually young people are not attracted to artificial beauty. They are interested in what is hidden under the cosmetics;
- Girls need to behave carefully. You should not point out the mistakes of a young man. It’s not difficult to offend him, but restoring the relationship is quite difficult;
- Positivity can help in communication. You need to not be shy and communicate freely. Conversation should bring joy.
