Psychology of initial relationships. Stages of relationships: what exist and how they develop

Interpersonal relationships between women and men are formed gradually. This process is extended over time and has several stages. Haste and too rapid rapprochement often lead to hasty, rash decisions and erroneous judgments regarding each other. Not all people’s degrees of relationship development occur synchronously, because it takes a lot of time to form an alliance. It takes at least seven years for a finally established relationship.

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Start of a relationship

The initial stage of relationship development is search. It is characterized by the selection of necessary qualities in representatives of the opposite sex. The search occurs in a categorical form and people come to lightning-fast conclusions.

They do not give a chance for rapprochement and more time to get to know the person better. The most common decisions look like: “this is my type” or “he (she) is not suitable for me. Instead of paying attention to positive traits, young people focus on shortcomings and miss the chance to create a harmonious couple.

But a hasty decision does not give a good result. Physiology is responsible for attraction, the rapid development of the union, which is not supported by time, and the euphoria caused by physical attraction does not go through the necessary stages and falls apart with painful sensations.

A fast stage is considered to be a situation when a couple goes from falling in love to marriage. This development of events has its pros and cons:

  • It is considered an advantageunexpected development of relationships. A spark is felt between partners, young people are overcome with strong emotions. They are comfortable and good together, and separation is very difficult. When they are in this state, they come to a hasty decision to get married.
  • The downside is quick disappointment in each other and discovered incompatibility, which prevents building long-term relationships. This kind of marriage lasts a short time and ends with a stormy showdown and one’s own misunderstanding of one’s own actions.

When a couple is overwhelmed by a strong feeling, one should not make rash decisions and immediately enter into marriage. Going through the stages of a relationship is important for a harmonious and strong union. People need to test their feelings with time and visit difficult situations to see if they can interact as a couple and support each other.

Stages of development

Relationships between a woman and a man develop gradually, going through three main stages. These stages are responsible for bringing people together, each of them is important in its own way. Systematic and synchronous development plays a significant role and lays the foundation for future relationships.

Stages of development interpersonal relationships are divided into three periods:

  • First stage: uncertainty. A man and a woman are just starting to date. The lives of young people touch only superficially and they are still establishing contact with each other.
  • Second stage: rapprochement. Personal space is reduced, and participation in the partner’s life increases significantly. Lovers spend a lot of time together, but they still have enough time for personal matters.
  • Stage three: falling in love. During this period, a man and a woman accept mutual obligations. They become close emotionally and physically, but even at this stage they still have time for themselves and their interests.

The mistake many people make is to misunderstand the love partnership between a man and a woman. They are sure that an ideal relationship means complete fusion and one life for two. But in a harmonious and strong couple there is time and place for personal interests and affairs. Mature and self-sufficient people need periodic solitude and do not see anything bad in this for close relationships.

Development by months

After meeting, lovers begin to go through the gradual development of a love relationship. They have three options for the development of events:

  • they fall deeper in love or break up;
  • get married and live together for many years;
  • get married and divorced.

Regardless of the plot, the following stages of relationships await everyone:

Stages by month Development of a relationship
The first three monthsThe period of falling in love. When young people already feel attracted, but don’t meet often yet. In each other's company, interest increases, as does the desire to see each other more often. If an emotionally close relationship has been established between a girl and a guy during this period, then the guy begins to rush things and, with the girl’s consent, they move on to sexual relations. Although the man is already seriously interested, he is not yet ready to commit himself and is not making plans
Four to six months

This may be a stage of established emotional relationships and more frequent meetings. The question of fidelity, mutual obligations and the desire not to separate arises. There may also be a breakup phase. The guy turns out to be not ready for a serious relationship, but the girl is very serious. If she begins to make possessive claims, the man leaves the commitment and the couple breaks up

Seven to nine monthsAt this stage, the final recognition of mutual obligations occurs. Young people are ready to make a decision about living together or getting married. If this does not happen, pressure and tension are felt in the couple. If there is no shift to the side life together, partners may separate
Ten to twelve months

There are three options for the development of events:

  1. 1. Period of cohabitation. People get married and start families.
  2. 2. They live together and make plans. The stage may drag on for many years, but if the partners love each other, they will definitely get married.
  3. 3. The man turns out to be not ready to tie the knot and backs down. If you put pressure on him, he leaves for someone else and begins to go through all the stages of a love relationship with her.

At the beginning of the development of a relationship, lovers do not notice each other’s shortcomings, idealize the image of their partner and experience an emotional upsurge.

Periods by year

The psychology of personal relationships distinguishes several stages of development. Each of them has a certain duration and it happens that a couple misses some of them, is ahead of time or marks time. You can divide relationships into stages, which will be determined by the years lived together:

Stages by year Development of relations during this period Psychologist's advice
Stage of falling in loveThis phase lasts from several months to a year. It is called the romantic or “candy-bouquet” period. The brain produces hormones responsible for joy and affection, blocks negative emotionsYou should not give this stage more time allotted by nature, even if you want to prolong the euphoria
SatiationThis period lasts 1 - 1.5 years. Young people gradually notice more and more shortcomings, romance disappears and gives way to a strong love affair. It is formed from the frequent presence of a loved oneIt is necessary to keep your distance and accept the shortcomings of your loved one, as this is part of his character
Rejection

It begins when a person doubts the correctness of his choice. The duration of the stage is different for each couple and it has two development paths:

  • adequate perception of the partner’s personality;
  • the need to remake it in your own way.

This phase is different big amount breakups

To prevent a final break from happening, patience and endurance are required. Over time, young people will adapt to their partner’s habits
Adoption

The stage at which patience for the partner’s shortcomings is formed. Lasts up to three years. Relationships become mundane, giving way to practicality and stability. Some people have children, women devote a lot of time to them and relegate their husband to the background.

At this time, the first serious problems appear in the couple:

  • lack of money;
  • fight against selfishness;
  • domestic quarrels;
  • mutual grievances
It is necessary to deal with problems peacefully or prevent such situations, try to find compromises and put yourself in the place of your partner
Service and dutyThis stage of the relationship brings the couple closer to a deep feeling of love. It lasts differently for everyone and takes years. People do nice things for each other and don't expect gratitude. Partners surprise with gifts and surprisesIt is the sincere desire to please a loved one that fuels feelings and does not allow the fire of love to go out.
Friendship and respectLasts 3-5 years. People try to please each other, are afraid of accidentally offending and do not want to quarrel. Trust was formed between them and they learned to support their other half. The partners have already gone through many trials and formed a strong allianceThis time-tested stage shows lovers that they can continue to please and support each other. To save a relationship, it is enough to continue to show care and be honest with your partner
deep loveThe final phase of a mature relationship, occurring after 5 years of relationship. The lovers became truly family and friends. Their feelings are time-tested and have the highest value. Spending time together brings them happiness. In their life partner they found: a friend, lover and comrade in arms. They are like one whole unit, connected by joint desires and feelingsWe must value each other and take care of the feeling, and not commit rash acts that can destroy even the strongest love.

Psychologists advise remembering that the feeling does not come immediately. A guy and a girl must work on their relationship so that love does not fade away for many years.

This is something that applies equally to both guys and girls. So, where are the main jambs:

Now as for purely boys:

  1. After sex, do not walk the girl home. Well, or at least take a taxi. This is the so-called syndrome "He only needs me for sex!" How does the girl perceive it? As long as the guy is courting the girl, everything is great! Flowers, gifts, going to the movies, cafes, restaurants, feeding the ducks on the pond. Everything is great. To celebrate, the girl opens access to her flower of love in the hope of further continuation of the fairy tale. But, at the moment when she hopes for a romantic parting, the door is opened for her and they schematically tell her the way to the nearest metro station. This is where the fairy tale ends. The thought comes that "I just got fucked" and they don’t want to see you anymore.
  2. After the first sex, call and obviously invite her to sleep with you again. Another manifestation of the syndrome described above. The girl’s train of thought is the same. I see no point in explaining.
  3. Confess your strong feelings to a girl in the early stages. Available guys are not interesting to girls. When you completely open up to a girl, the intrigue is immediately lost. She has nothing left to fight for. Now you can't escape her. It's boring. Remember: we only want what we cannot get! Correction: the approach of declaring your love a week after the first sex works if the girl has no other options other than you. But, it seems to me, any more or less nice-looking girl will always have options. If there are no options, apparently something is wrong with the girl. But as they say: "love is evil..."
  4. Immediately offer her to live with you. Another way to overestimate a girl’s importance.
  5. Do not offer the girl anything other than sex. If your happy relationship are like a “weekly fuck marathon” on weekends in your house. This is again quite sad. And believe me, relationships built only on sex do not last long.

And now, finally, we get to the lovely ladies. Let's go!

Bottom line

These were just basic mistakes that often occur at the very beginning of a relationship. In the middle (after 5 months) there are many more. But more on that next time.

Important stages in the relationship between a man and a woman.

At first relationship between a man and people try to build by trial and error right relationship between themselves.

They are often tormented by many questions, they doubt, become disappointed, and make mistakes.

But knowledge of key stages of development, gives confidence and protects against mistakes along the way.

If your relationships with men are not working out or your relationship is still at an early stage, then you will be interested in reading this article.

The stages of rapprochement between a woman and a man are divided into five stages. This sequence allows you to correctly set up harmony in the relationship and it is important that both partners go through all the steps at the same time. If you missed some step, then you need to go back and go through it; this is a necessary condition for the development of harmonious relationships.

The first stage in a relationship is attraction.

If a woman is attracted to a man mainly by his intellect, then men are attracted by a woman’s appearance. Feeling sympathy for one woman, a man at the same time feels the same attraction to other women.

Female attractiveness allows a man to feel a certain energy within himself that he needs, including the development of a relationship with this woman. Therefore, the idea that is very common among girls - “all men need the same thing” is not entirely true. Every man needs energy to build Serious relationships, which he receives from seeing attractive female body. By interfering with a man's physical attraction, we deprive him of this energy and do not give him the opportunity for further initiative.

For a woman, a man’s appearance is not very important; reason, responsibility and intelligence come first for her. This is a feature of the female psyche. And if we hear from a woman - “I fell in love with him at first sight,” this means that she created in her imagination the image of this man and endowed him with all the qualities that she likes. Without enough time to get to know this person well, the woman turns on her imagination. And this will be her biggest mistake if, without going through all the stages of the relationship, she considers that she has found her ideal man. Even if her assumption is confirmed over time, she will suffer from anxiety and doubts about why everything happened so easily.

This stage of the relationship can be compared in importance to a strong foundation of a building - without it you cannot build a reliable house.

The second stage in a relationship is uncertainty.

This is the stage of doubt and patience; it must be present in the development of relationships. It is at this stage of the relationship that a man begins to doubt and distance himself from his woman. This is quite normal - a man is trying to understand his attitude towards a woman. And at this stage it depends only on the woman whether this stage will go smoothly or not, if she shows patience and reacts adequately.

Usually, the further a man moves away, the faster he becomes attracted. At this stage of the relationship, it is important not to put pressure on the man and not pester him with the question - “How do you feel about me?” At the moment, he himself doesn’t know it yet.

If you do not go through this stage, then even after the wedding, he will begin to experience this stage in marriage. For a woman, this will be much more difficult to survive - because she thinks that everything is so clear. But the fact is that only she understands this, and not the man. Therefore, it is better to let go of the situation and the man, then in the end everything will work out in the best way for them.

The third stage of a relationship is the desire to be the only one.

This desire arises in both women and men. If a man has passed the stage of uncertainty, then he knows for sure that he wants to be with this woman forever. And the main thing here is that the woman reacts correctly.

If a woman has enough wisdom, then she will not push away a man and be offended by him if he suddenly appears after a protracted period of uncertainty. Now she can feel like the only one for this man and can be confident in his feelings.

The fourth stage of a relationship is spiritual intimacy.

This stage is special and quite interesting. This stage of relationships implies a higher degree of trust, the discovery of a partner on a deep spiritual level. The analogy here is this: you invite guests to your home. It is customary to receive guests in the living room, so before arriving you put extra things in the bedroom. But if guests suddenly ask to show them your bedroom, you will probably feel uncomfortable.

So in a relationship at this stage you are ready to show off your “bedroom”, although not everything is cleaned there yet... You went through all the previous stages showing yourself only from the best side. And now showing your shortcomings before you demonstrate your strengths will, of course, be honest on your part, but not very good for your relationship, which can lead to the exact opposite result and, as a result, disappointment.

Maintain reasonable consistency in developing relationships. Only at this stage of the relationship can you allow yourself to be yourself.

The fifth stage of a relationship is engagement.

This final stage preceding marriage. By this time, you have already gotten to know each other enough and can consider yourself quite close people. You feel almost like husband and wife, but there is still one last opportunity to say “no” to each other.

At this stage comes the understanding that any person is capable of love. different people, but finding that one, truly loved person with whom you would like to live your whole life is very difficult. Quite a lot of couples decide to break up at this stage of the engagement, and this correct solution- it means they understood themselves correctly.

Only at this stage of the relationship is it possible to truly understand whether you have found the soul mate that you need. At this stage, partners begin to truly love each other.

Finally, all stages have been successfully completed and We have a long and happy life ahead of us together.

Every couple goes through certain stages in their relationship. At the beginning, everything is romantic, passionate, fun and easy, but there comes a moment when it becomes crowded and not as interesting as before, and sometimes simply unbearable. How can you find out where your relationship is heading and what True love is?!

Such a deep feeling as True Love is not easy to build, but by successfully and patiently overcoming the difficulties of each stage, it becomes possible. Do you want to know exactly what stage your couple's relationship is at? Then read on.

The first stage is severe hunger

This stage is often called falling in love, passion, the candy-bouquet period. This is a very bright, cheerful, eventful period, which is remembered later with such ecstasy, and sometimes with undisguised sadness. There are a lot of emotions in it, bright and hot; life is seething and in full swing: you are more active than ever, and it’s as if you don’t need sleep, rest, food at all... If only there was one dear one nearby.

All meetings and calls are long-awaited; in each other's company the world seems better; The time spent together is always short, no matter how long the date actually lasts. The image of your beloved always pleases your imagination, pleasantly exciting your heart. I want to touch him, hug and kiss him, and for him to always be there...

At this time, the guy can do crazy things, court him gallantly, talk tirelessly, want to be next to you all the time, and no matter where. And a girl, in turn, can stand in front of the mirror for several hours before a date with her beloved, she becomes prettier and kinder, her voice changes, becomes even softer and more tender. Lovers show their best qualities, they strive to appear in the most favorable light and they both truly behave in an exemplary manner. Note that it was at this stage that poets and artists (and other creators) composed works of art for their lovers.

The second stage is saturation

Inevitably, a moment of satiety comes in a relationship: you have enjoyed each other’s company and managed to get used to it. At this stage, you can already go somewhere separately (on a visit, to a store, to exhibitions, anywhere); The time spent together no longer flies as quickly as in the first stage of the relationship. You are interested in your loved one, but the feeling of trepidation before each meeting and the burning desire to be close every minute is gone.

This stage is also called the stage of equal relationships. Everything is going smoothly, quietly, peacefully. You feel good together, calm and comfortable. You are interested in each other’s company, but you no longer have the former feeling of “hunger” for your loved one. In a word, you still like each other, but you have already gotten used to the charm of your lover.

Let's say if funny joke your loved one told you at the first stage, you would sincerely burst out laughing for several minutes, and then praise his unique sense of humor. And at the second stage - saturation, you would honor your loved one with a smile and say “Well done, really funny!” The difference is noticeable, isn't it?

The third stage is the stage of disgust

We arrived before the most dangerous period for any relationship - the stage of disgust. This is the most crisis and dangerous period, which destroyed a huge number of happy and harmonious, but weak unions. Most often, this period occurs within the notorious three years from the date of the relationship. Sometimes it can happen earlier, by the end of the first year of the relationship. And sometimes the first stages can take longer, and the stage of disgust will come in the seventh year of the relationship, but this happens quite rarely. I would like to note that by this stage the lovers have most likely already managed to formalize the relationship and become spouses.

Most lovers, at the beginning of a relationship, naively believe that they will never have such quarrels and squabbles as their friends who are at this painful stage. But remember that this stage, sooner or later, will come anyway and will need to be overcome through joint efforts. It’s a pity that a huge number of couples break up on it, never realizing that it is temporary. How long it will last depends on the temperament and wisdom of the lovers.

During this period, everything about a previously loved one can irritate: the way he eats, the way he walks, the way he laughs, the way he twists a tube of toothpaste. Even what you previously liked about him can now cause terrible hostility and disgust. And if he does something really bad, for example, swears, screams, is lazy, throws clothes around, etc., you may experience an attack of acute hostility, bordering on hatred. It seems that everything he does, he does out of spite, specifically to unbalance, annoy and annoy.

Those who find themselves at this stage believe that they made a mistake about the person, that he pretended to be someone else. Often, they decide to break up, because shared happiness and pleasure have suddenly become insufficient, it is simply not enough for a normal life together. But there are more quarrels, scandals and reproaches than ever before. Being at this stage in a relationship, a person thinks that love has passed without a trace. But what a misconception this is...

The fourth stage is the stage of patience and forgiveness

This stage begins after one of the spouses has realized that it is still possible to somehow measure up to the shortcomings of the once loved one. Usually this person in a couple turns out to be the smarter, wiser, or simply mature one.

Gradually, patiently enduring the shortcomings of your spouse, you come to the understanding that it is better to start with yourself. The kinder and more gentle you behave, the more he, in principle, responds.

At this stage, deep work with your own egoism occurs when you reconsider the concept of love, marriage and relationships. You sincerely begin to notice a person, his needs and requirements, you get to know him anew and, for the first time, the real one. There is no longer a trail of love in a relationship, but there is an understanding of one’s responsibility to a person (a sense of duty; responsibility to children; decency and traditional ideals of fidelity and devotion).

At this stage, there is a calm acceptance of a real person with his features, character and tastes. There are no special pleasures yet, but anxiety and irritation have become significantly less. You no longer start with a half-turn.

It is during this period that the understanding comes that a loved one does not have to be my copy, that he is a separate and unique person, with his own needs and desires. At this stage, couples rarely separate, as the relationship is slowly moving towards a real feeling - love.

The fifth stage is the stage of fulfilling duties

It is from this moment that true Love begins to emerge. When a person realizes his duty to his spouse. Having realized, even at the previous stage, the uniqueness of his soulmate, the presence of his own needs, interests and desires, he comes to the understanding that it is necessary to take care of him and fulfill his duties.

Every couple and family is unique. But in general terms, if we're talking about about a woman, then she understands the importance of fulfilling a woman’s responsibilities to her husband in protecting the family hearth - caring for children, maintaining her own attractiveness, cooking, cleanliness in the house, etc. A man comes to understand how important it is to provide his family with everything necessary, to protect him from external problems and adversity, and so on.

The sixth stage is the stage of divine friendship

This is a reverent stage when warm, cozy heart-to-heart conversations come into the house. When it’s interesting to be together again, but not just greedily and passionately, but with great respect and devotion to the person. It’s much more valuable, knowing a person from cover to cover, respecting him and being interested in him, trusting him and being inspired. This wonderful stage: bright, kind, sincere, like in fairy tales. And the couple who finds themselves on it comes close to true love.

At this stage, people become family. Spouses turn into each other's most devoted and best friends. They are inseparable, cheerful and friendly. It’s nice to look at such families, you can admire them and take an example from them: they have already experienced so much (the stage of disgust), but they stayed together, they feel good next to each other. But this is not love yet.

The seventh stage is the stage of divine love

The most best description such love is given in the Bible:

Love endures for a long time, is merciful, love does not envy, love does not exalt itself, is not proud, does not act outrageously, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; covers everything, believes everything, hopes everything, endures everything. Love never ends…

We wish everyone to proudly go through all the stages described above and find True Love!

Today, passionately loving spouses cannot enjoy each other’s company, and tomorrow, dishes are breaking in their house and screams are heard. Mutual reproaches, resentments, misunderstandings and scandals are replaced by periods of calm and romance. Relationships do not stand still; they develop together with partners. Psychologists distinguish several stages of relationships between a man and a woman.

Relationships in a couple are long and not always pleasant work; you have to overcome periods of quarrels and alienation, but for those who cope with all adversity and, despite the vagaries of fate, stay together and preserve warm feelings, life has prepared a true gift - true love.

Love

This is exactly the stage about which so many romantic films have been made, books and poems have been written - the time when butterflies flutter in the stomach, and the chosen one seems like a prince on a white horse. The initial stage of a relationship between a man and a woman is very similar to the euphoria from drugs; according to research by scientists from Harvard University, during the first months of a relationship, happiness hormones, as endorphins are commonly called, are actively produced in the human brain.

Main features:

  • regular meetings;
  • frequent calls and messages;
  • the man takes care of him in every possible way, gives gifts;
  • both partners do not notice the opposite sex, they are only passionate about each other.

Skeptical scientists reject any romantic claims, calling these feelings pure chemistry. These days, in the brain of a person in love, the areas responsible for rational thinking and negative emotions are completely blocked. But the zones of pleasure, desires and motivation work at full capacity.

This stage lasts a year and a half, after which chemical processes slow down and there are much fewer endorphins in the blood. From a psychological point of view, a man and a woman at this stage of a relationship experience incredible attraction, striving to spend all their free time with their chosen one, their thoughts and feelings revolve only around each other. That’s why this stage is also called saturation.

Satiation

Most often, this period occurs when a couple in love begins to live under the same roof. The chemistry of love has slowed down, although it has not yet completely disappeared. People are starting to look at each other without rose-colored glasses. A partner who until recently seemed ideal is seen in a completely different light. The masks are dropped, couples show themselves as they really are. And this is where all the shortcomings that were previously unnoticed or hidden come to light.

Main features:

  • partners remember their hobbies that they abandoned at the beginning of the relationship;
  • spend more time apart;
  • Doubts and fears about your partner appear;
  • Petty quarrels and disputes begin.

Rejection

At this stage of the relationship, the chemistry of love stops its magical effect, the body returns to normal and rational thinking is finally allowed to take over. Doubts come, it begins to seem that the person made a mistake in his choice, was in a hurry and his partner is not at all the one who is needed. Quarrels, scandals, disputes, constant showdowns, tears and screams are characteristics of this stage of the relationship between a man and a woman.

Main features:

  • frequent quarrels;
  • hidden grievances and constant feeling irritation;
  • reluctance to agree to reconciliation;
  • attempts to change the spouse, rebuild his habits, adjust his character;
  • thoughts about other men/women.

Most people try to “break” their partner during this period, remake him for themselves and force him to change, imagining that this is precisely the problem. Over time, this ends in inevitable separation and complete disappointment.

Another way out is to move to the next stage, by accepting your partner for who he is, realizing that no one is perfect. The couple learns to live together, adapt to each other and seek compromises.

Patience

This stage usually coincides with the third year crisis, as psychologists call it. Many couples already have children at this time, the already cooled passions become completely everyday, everyday life and dullness absorb the lovers more and more.

At this stage it may become clear that . Then you need to figure out what the reason is.

During periods of patience, people turn to psychologists, begin to seek help in specialized literature, seek advice from friends or relatives, and attend seminars. The main task is not to endure, gritting your teeth and keeping silent, as it might seem from the name of the stage, but to learn to put up with and accept your partner with all his “cockroaches”.

Main features:

  • during quarrels, instead of shouting, partners speak calmly and reasonedly;
  • mutual accusations have disappeared, partners are learning to seek compromises;
  • what irritated the spouse earlier is now perceived softer and calmer;
  • disputes and quarrels continue, but are now proceeding more calmly;
  • both partners learn to make peace first;
  • mutual concessions and indulgences.

Those couples who shift their attention from personal relationships to children or common goals, hoping to simply get through this time, are ultimately left with nothing. Children grow up and goals are achieved, and the old “glue” that held them together no longer works.

To move to the next level and stay together, while strengthening the connection between spouses and maintaining warm feelings, you need to learn tolerance towards your loved one. Accept him as a strong and independent person, take his opinion into account, value his interests and desires as your own. Only this approach will give the strength to sprout the beginnings of wisdom, mutual respect and true love, to which there are only a couple of steps left.

Service

It is important to understand that love does not appear out of thin air; it must be cultivated through common efforts, patience and desire. The sprouts that appeared at the previous stage need to be cherished and protected. And a complete renunciation of selfishness will help in this. The essence of this stage is to learn to do something nice for your partner without expecting reciprocity.

Main features:

  • there was a desire to make surprises;
  • both partners strive to satisfy the needs of the other without thinking about themselves;
  • mutual gifts and concessions;
  • couples begin to do what they previously refused - he washes the dishes, she lets him go fishing;
  • compromises prevail over quarrels;
  • partners are ready to admit guilt and apologize;
  • both spouses are ready to sacrifice their interests for the sake of the other.

The desire to “serve” should not carry self-centered motives; if a partner gives gifts only to receive a return, this will not bear fruit.

Service implies complete immersion in another person, his desires become yours, his grateful smile and happiness - everything that is required for your mental well-being and peace of mind. Over time, the partner himself will begin to show mutual impulses, he will feel the need to thank and will also begin to serve. Learning to give is the most important and difficult task for many people, but without it you cannot ascend to the next level.

Respect

This is the stage of a relationship in which a man and a woman are not required to do anything, learn anything, but only reap the fruits of their past labors. The couple experienced harmony and a feeling of complete immersion; they began to perceive each other as a separate person and half of themselves at the same time. The couple went through a lot together, it brought them closer, showed how important it is to appreciate a partner, and not take all his actions for granted.

Main features:

  • calm atmosphere in the house, no quarrels;
  • the relationship develops harmoniously, both are satisfied with their choice;
  • spouses each have their own interests and hobbies, which their partner accepts and respects;
  • Insults are no longer heard during rare arguments.

During this period, the couple learns the depth of mutual respect, trust and affection, based not on brain chemistry, but on the experience of the years lived and the work done.

Love

Few people reach this stage, not even half, but only those couples who found the strength to overcome all difficulties and were able to learn everything that was important for their relationship. Their sprout grew into a strong and beautiful tree, which bore fruit, and finally a true and immortal feeling flares up between them - love.

Main features;

  • partners strive to spend time together;
  • They both don’t go crazy during separation, but they don’t strive for it either;
  • warm feelings and desire to show care;
  • partners look for the cause of the quarrel in themselves, and not in each other;
  • desire to give rather than take;
  • complete harmony between partners.

Spouses enjoy each other's company, understand perfectly and always know what their significant other needs, what she wants and what she needs. They know how to give and receive, they know how to care and take care, they show understanding and patience.

This period in the relationship between a man and a woman will no longer flow into anything else, but will only grow and develop, opening up new boundaries of emotions for spouses. This feeling lies beyond the usual perception, it is the result of a long journey and mutual sacrifices, renunciations and concessions. Love is not raging passions, but kinship of souls - an all-consuming, measured and deep feeling.

Types of relationships

Men and women most often experience the stages of relationships differently. This is because the fair half of humanity is guided by emotions in life, while the stronger sex is prone to rational thinking. Boys are used to being raised as stone knights who hide their true feelings at any cost and abstract themselves from them. It is generally accepted that emotions for the sons of Adam are a sign of weakness. It is because of this, according to psychology, that so many problems arise at different stages of the relationship between a man and a woman.

Just like the stages of development, there are different kinds relationships.

Homemade

Such relationships are formed between two sensual individuals; they do not seek outside contacts, preferring to enjoy the company of their other half and comfort. In this tandem, neither achievements, nor the career ladder, nor any extraneous areas of life are important to the partners - they draw strength and inspiration from each other. Love, mutual understanding reign in this house, and both spouses strive for privacy.

The danger lies in emptying yourself; in such a relationship, the voluntary desire to stay at home with your loved one and spend the evening together will eventually turn into a habit, and the relationship will become gray and sickeningly familiar. Such a union can be saved by a common passion, hobby, business, or periodic communication with other people and evenings apart.

Matriarchal

Such a union is characterized by female dominance. She is a strong, independent, purposeful person and a holistic individual. Most often, the wife in such a tandem will lead in everything, from small everyday issues to making important decisions. She occupies a higher position, her career is on the rise, she earns many times more than her husband.

Important! The man in such a couple is often of a softer and more down-to-earth nature, he strives for home comfort and a family hearth, he cares little about his career.

The main problem will arise if there are reproaches against the husband - low earnings, immaturity, lack of initiative, lack of masculine core. A wise woman who wants to save this marriage will have to create the appearance that the man is in charge. IN otherwise he will begin to look for ways to assert himself, and, most likely, it will be a more feminine and soft woman.

In such a union, a man may experience some fear. Then it is very important to figure it out.

Patriarchal

The opposite situation is where a man takes the lead. He is the head and support of the family; housework, children and everyday life fall on women’s shoulders. The husband will bring money into the house, take care of well-being and prosperity, and the wife, even if she also works, will remain the keeper of the hearth.

In such a couple, everything is harmonious until the day when the husband begins to take his wife’s work and care for granted. A consumer attitude towards the lady of the heart in such a situation will cause constant resentment of the fairer sex and the brewing of an internal conflict. He will either create a personality in her, or she will run away to someone who will appreciate her.

Inspirational

The saying “a man is the head, and a woman is the neck.” Wherever the neck turns, the head looks” completely characterizes this relationship. In this tandem, the husband achieves significant heights only thanks to the inspiration that his wife bestows on him. She is a muse and a catalyst, only because of her neat pushes and, perhaps, jabs, he strives for victories. For him, none of this matters; everything he does is for her.

If a lady stops inspiring, the man will leave from her to another, because in such a partnership the stronger sex becomes emotionally dependent on her ability to inspire and guide the right way. The solution to the problem lies on the surface - a woman will have to constantly grow together with her man, improve herself and engage in spiritual and physical development.

How to understand that this is love?

Simple facts will help you distinguish a fleeting feeling of infatuation and infatuation from true love.

  1. No matter how much time you spend together, you don’t get tired of your partner.
  2. The first thought that arises after waking up is always about your chosen one.
  3. If you have a problem, you turn to him for help, just as you rush to share your joy with him first.
  4. You are ready to make any concessions and sacrifices for the sake of your loved one.
  5. You notice your partner's shortcomings, but are ready to accept them and do not strive to correct him.
  6. You yourself become better, strive for development and self-improvement.
  7. Your feelings for your partner do not depend on any factors; you are happy to see him under any circumstances.
  8. First of all, your chosen one is yours best friend, you are ready to share everything with him, he is for you close person, from which there are no secrets.

  1. Down with gadgets
    IN modern society people do a lot without looking up from their mobile screens. When you're with your spouse, having dinner or watching a movie, put down your cell phone, turn off the Internet and enjoy the time you spend together. Pay attention to your beloved man, and not to the news feed on a social network.
  2. General hobby
    Nothing brings people together like a common passion. Analyze your interests, choose points of contact - what interests you equally. Once you find a common hobby, you can choose a section that will interest both of you. It could be anything - football, archery, horse riding, computer games, diving, swimming, boxing, clay modeling, drawing.
  3. Read together
    The same book, read separately, will give you many hours of pleasure, which you will spend discussing this work. You will be able to share your impressions, see how the same event in a book is perceived differently by the two of you - this is a great way to better understand each other and get closer.
  4. More kisses
    Lips are hundreds of times more sensitive than hands - during a kiss, adrenaline and endorphins are released into our blood, and psychologists believe that it is frequent hugs and kisses that help maintain romance in a relationship for many years. Let it not be a mechanical “smack” in the morning and evening before bed, learn to express your feelings through kisses.

    Important! Kiss him so that he remembers what a passionate woman his wife really is.

  5. Hugs, hugs and more hugs
    Scientists and psychologists have found that just 20 minutes of tight hugs a day saturate our bodies with the necessary level of love and trust hormones - endorphins and oxytocin. Gentle touches, caresses and hugs will help you get rid of minor grievances and irritability and will remind you that your spouse is a beloved and desired man.
  6. Share
    Don't be afraid to open up to your man. Share with him stories about your incidents, failures and just funny moments. Don't be afraid to seem stupid or clumsy; such stories increase the level of trust between partners by showing the vulnerability of each of them. Notes Small notes with a couple of warm words can cheer up the whole day and bring partners closer together. When preparing lunch for work for your husband, don’t be lazy and write a few gentle phrases on a piece of paper.

    Advice! Let it be a surprise for him and brighten up a gray working day. You can leave such a note in his car, and in his coat pocket, in his bag, attach it to the mirror or refrigerator if you leave first in the morning.

  7. Praise
    You shouldn’t think that if you’ve been together for so many years, your partner already knows that you find him attractive. Remind him of this, tell him how this new shirt suits him, how this tie highlights his eye color, or appreciate him new haircut. Compliments and praise are part of a trusting and romantic relationship. Don’t forget to also say out loud the most important words: “I love you.”