Many people equip a child's nursery from birth, but psychologists are against this approach. For a child under one year old, the closest contact with the mother is important, and upon reaching this age, a corner in the parent's bedroom is enough for him, where he can play. The minimum age for transfer to a separate room is three years: some children already during this period strive to be separated from adults. In most cases, the period when a child needs personal space begins at five to seven years. It is especially important to have your own space in adolescence, from the age of 12, an isolated room for a child is a vital necessity.
Of course, every family is individual: some children get used to sleeping in a separate room from birth and feel great, others hardly get used to independence even at an early school age. You should not force the baby to move from his parents, it is advisable to make him want to sleep and play in his room. To do this, you can involve him in the arrangement of the room, consult with him when choosing furniture or wallpaper, emphasizing how he has become an adult and independent.
If there is no way to allocate a room
If the family lives in a one-room apartment, then the child needs to organize a separate corner using a screen or partition. The baby should have his own sleeping area and a study area where he can play or do his homework. The main thing is that the space organized for the child is spacious and bright enough. It is also advisable to allocate a place for his things and toys. If it is not possible to purchase or put a separate cabinet, then you should give it a shelf in the parents' closet.
What if there are several children?
If there are two or three kids in a family, parents do not always have the opportunity to equip each of them with their own room. According to psychologists, this is not always necessary - until they reach senior school age, children can live together, especially for children of the same sex. Two sisters or two brothers sometimes become so used to living in one room that they do not need separate rooms until they leave the parental home. But here it is important to take into account the age of the children - if the difference is too large, then the daily routine will be different. This means that they will interfere with each other's rest. For example, the younger will go to bed while the older is still far from sleep. Very small child may wake up frequently at night, cry, interfering with the sleep of other children.
If several children live together, each should have their own place to play and practice. At the same time, it is not recommended to rigidly divide the room into parts - this contributes to the strengthening of rivalry between children - a soft division into several parts using planning or decoration is preferable. Each child should have his own chair and table, wardrobe, sleeping place, and the play area can be made common. This division promotes socialization and teaches children to play together, interact with each other. If there is an opportunity to give everyone their own premises, from the age of six you need to ask the children whether they want to live together or are they ready to move to a separate nursery?
Staying children in the same room has its advantages - they become more independent, learn to keep order in their part of the room, share toys with their brother or sister, and find compromises. A big problem for parents can be the sharing of a younger child in a room that was previously occupied only by the older one. Moreover, the older the first child and the longer he lived alone, the more difficult it is to allocate a place for his brother or sister without conflicts. Try not to scold or force the elder, try to come to an agreement with him, take his opinion into account when redeveloping the premises.
Many children are afraid to sleep alone. How to teach a child to be independent? He tells about what to do to parents in this case child psychologist portal "I am a parent".
Personal space for children of different sexes
While the children are small, the presence of children of different sexes in the same room does not cause special problems. Psychologists assure that children of different sexes in the same room are more friendly. Each child should have his own place in this room - his personal space where he could “retire”. As the children grow up, when the eldest child turns 12 years old, the nursery will have to be divided into two halves using a screen, cabinet, thick curtain or partition. Get the kids' opinion and plan the room based on their wishes. It is possible to arrange one common area for both children and separate areas for each child with sliding partitions. To maintain peace and tranquility in the family, it is important to always consult with both children so that neither of them feels slighted, then friendly relations between children will remain.
To avoid quarrels between children, try to follow these rules:
- When organizing a nursery, consider the child's opinion and taste. Remember that this is his room, not yours. Moreover, if several children live in the room, it is worth listening equally to each child.
- Even if several children live in a room, each should have a personal place where only one has access. This can be either a whole corner, if space allows, or at least a separate box where the baby can store his things.
- Teach children to negotiate on their own, intervene as little as possible in their conflicts.
- Determine right away which things belong to the elder, which to the younger, and which will be shared.
- Design a personal area for each child in different colorsand monogram the owner's name on toy boxes and other items. So all children will feel like masters in their corner.
- Take care of the correct layout of the nursery, there should be no unnecessary things in it. Then the children will have more space to relax and play together, and therefore for.
Parents should consider in advance how to equip workplace schoolboy at home. Where will the table be? How to choose a chair? What kind of lighting is required? You will find answers to these and other questions in a video tutorial with the participation of an expert from the portal "I am a parent".
Ekaterina Kushnir
Parental pride has no boundaries when children of different sexes appear in the family. After all, more is not needed: a boy and a girl in the same family! At the same time, many parents note that from the first days there is a difference in the character, behavior and priorities of girls and boys. Literally from the cradle, it is immediately noticeable that boys are more demanding when breastfeedingbut also more attached to the mother. Growing up, they often need exactly the mother's affection, but the father becomes the authority for them.
Girls, on the other hand, try to show independence earlier and adopt the skills they like from the adults around them, and the mother becomes the authority for the girl, as it should be. But it is also worth noting that there are no clear standards for children of different sexes, each of them is individual in its own way and can manifest itself in a completely unexpected way.
Raising girls
The girl in the family becomes the center of attention. From childhood, the baby is attracted by everything beautiful: flowers, butterflies, beautiful pictures, cute toys, stories about princesses. Therefore, her upbringing should be aesthetically beautiful, giving her opportunities for self-realization, personal growth and free flight of imagination.
Praise is no less important in raising girls. It is important for a girl to know that she is the best, beautiful, helper, smart girl. So do not forget to repeat this to her more often.
Because of their love for beauty, little girls find it easier to learn musical instruments, dance, and paint. Try to involve your child in group or individual creative activities in order to fully reveal your daughter's talents in the future.
Raising boys
The masculine principle is already laid in the boy even during his development in the mother's stomach. Therefore, you should not be surprised if your son likes to run a lot, jump, petty hooligans, and at the same time feel the strongest outbursts of tenderness for his beloved mother. Mom is the source of the son's all-embracing love, but the father will still be a great authority for the boy.
Dads are simply obliged to devote their sons to all their male affairs around the house and outside it (to fix something, nail it down, go to the garage for a car, etc.). This will give the future man an opportunity to feel significant, in demand. It is important for a boy to understand that dad behaves with him as an equal, and does not give orders. For the successes achieved and the efforts of the boy, you should definitely praise, tell how his help helped you, say that he a real man, assistant and protector.
The creativity of guys is often not as rich as that of girls. Boys give more preference to martial arts, football and other sports games, less often classes on musical instruments, painting, dancing. Therefore, in raising a son, you can use visiting circles that the child likes.
Children of different sexes: how to organize space
While the children are small, it is quite acceptable to have one room for two, but immediately with clear boundaries of personal space for everyone. Children should have their own shelf with things in the closet, their own place for personal toys, and most importantly - their own things, which no one will have the right to claim. When a brother and sister are in the same room, then joint games become more interesting, and mutual cooperation and friendship develops between them.
If it is possible for the brother and sister to have a separate room, then it is better to style them completely in different stylespersonalize the rooms, taking into account the interests of each child. But, for example, there may be conflict situations associated with cleaning issues in each room. Children can be bad at putting things in order, due to the fact that they did not play themselves, but with a brother or sister. In this case, it is better to talk with the baby in advance that everyone will keep their room clean, regardless of who scattered the toys.
Is there a place for friendship?
Children of any gender, living in the same family, sooner or later face some kind of disputes, quarrels, sometimes they can even fight or mutuze each other. Brother and sister are no exception. The moment of quarrels between them largely depends on their age and the difference in years. If the difference is more than 5 years, then the older child can grumble at the most or complain to the parents about the younger, but if the difference is less than 5 years, then most often quarrels, taking away toys, things and other things cannot be avoided. When a girl is older in a family, she is more likely to be able to smooth out conflicts with her younger brother than an older brother with a younger sister. But, of course, this is all individual, because there are brothers and sisters who are not quarreling among themselves, who grow up in a complete idyll of relationships, who are able to concede or find a compromise. This is what all parents of different sexes should strive for, and not only children.
Parents always dream that brother and sister will become friends in the future, so you need to often talk with them such moments:
- They are very dear and can easily share with each other their experiences, doubts, joys, victories.
- They always have a partner for games, ideas and fun adventures.
- How important it is not to forget about your brother / sister even while walking or playing with other children, it is ideal when the children have one company (it often happens when the difference between them is less than 3 years).
- Protect each other and provide support in any situations, for example, from resentment and ridicule of other children, or even shield them in front of their parents in some pranks.
- They can always agree. For example, choose to watch one cartoon or help each other clean the room, or maybe even prepare a joke for parents.
The most important thing about which you need to constantly talk with your brother and sister is that they are a family, and they will remain it forever, even when the parents are no longer around. And no matter how their life turns out, they will always have something to remember a bright and cheerful childhood!
The housing issue is a sore spot for a modern married couple. With convenience and comfort, the lucky ones provided with a decent amount of square meters can accommodate adults and the younger generation. Most families have to adjust to living conditions, deciding how not to embarrass or offend anyone.
Children of different sexes in the same room
Children's room: playground for growing up
A child needs an area for development, games, recreation. With the appearance of brothers or sisters in the first-born, parents face the urgent need to divide the room, taking into account the age, gender and needs of each child.
Before starting the operation, find the answers to the questions:
How much time will the children spend outside the room?
Why do you need a nursery?
What things and furniture cannot the guys do without?
It is wiser to equip living space in a minimalist style: this will help preserve space and light in the room. If there is space in the parent's room, it is better to place sports equipment, exercise equipment and other large-sized things outside the nursery.
Parents rarely worry about settling sons or daughters in the common territory. But one room for children of different sexes is a subject of excitement, controversy and stress. Caring adults worry about how cramped conditions will affect the psyche of their offspring, their relationships with each other, and adulthood.
The early period: establishing norms of behavior
Grown up kids do not need constant parental care and can move to the living space allocated for them. The age difference between siblings does not play a fundamental role.
From the moment a child develops awareness in actions and speech, adults, by their example and instructions, teach the baby to the rules:
Respect the peace and privacy of others.
Take nothing without asking.
Always wear clothes at home.
There is a bathroom for hygiene procedures and changing clothes.
If you cannot resolve the conflict that has arisen on your own, turn to your mom and dad for help.
Establishing certain rules for living in the same room for children of different sexes and teaching them to abide by these rules will make life easier for the whole family.
Boys and girls forced to live together for many years are taught from kindergarten to find compromises and harmony in relationships. Issues related to puberty are regulated in advance, advising the child to reasonably be ashamed of his body.
Two children in one room
Difficulties of adolescence
Children of different sexes in the same room during puberty are a challenge for the whole family. Under the influence of raging hormones, the behavior of future men and women becomes unrecognizable. But do not be alarmed: not all adolescents will face such a fate, and even with a patient and adequate attitude of parents, the problem quickly loses its relevance.
Hormones also affect the physiological processes in the body. Two children in one room of different sexes each need their own personal space. Consequently, it is advisable to delimit the space for children at the stage of growing up who are getting used to changes in the body with a screen or curtain that fits into the interior. This will give the teenagers an opportunity to be alone with themselves, avoiding the attention of the opposite sex.
Yesterday, your daughter and son were your kids - once, and now they are completely adults. A problem arises that affects many parents of children of different sexes: can a brother and sister live in the same room? At what age should a child have a separate room or space? Our article is dedicated to parents who are looking for answers to such questions:
- Can a brother and sister share the same room?
- How to demarcate space?
- When do you need a separate room?
- Bonus: 6 tips to avoid conflicts?
In this article, we will tell you how to behave for parents so as not to stir up conflicts between children, how to correctly divide the space in a room where children of different sexes live. We will also talk about in what situations it is worth dividing the children into separate rooms.
Can a brother and sister share the same room?
According to psychologists, children with a small age difference can peacefully exist in the same room. However, everyone should have their own corner or personal space. You can delimit zones using decor or furniture.
How to demarcate space?
It is worth determining in advance which toys are common and which are not. If an older child does not want to give toys to a younger child, this is normal. On the contrary, too. Everyone should have their own property and personal space. The whole process is worth discussing with the children. Listen to everyone's opinion, because your son and daughter want to be heard.
When do you need a separate room? If very freedom-loving children. However, the psychologist recommends looking at the children: if conflicts begin on the basis of the square, contesting the "rights" to the premises or things in it, it is worth separating the children, if possible.
6 tips to avoid conflicts
So, a conflict is brewing in your family over the space in the room. First of all, we do not recommend choosing the side of one of the children, it is better - neutrality. Do not get involved in the conflict of children, but if this happens, play the role of a mediator. This means that the parent listens to each child. While talking to one child, maintain periodic eye contact with the other, making it clear that they will listen carefully and help.
The second problem is based on the situation when the older child becomes the younger child's nanny. Often a psychologist hears from parents that an older child “should” take care of a brother or sister. He doesn't have to and doesn't have to. The eldest son or daughter must themselves show a desire to help the younger, without coercion from the parents. Now a few short practical advice instead of a summary:
👫 When organizing the space, take into account the opinion of the child, because this is his room. This applies to zoning for children of different sexes.
👫 If there are several children in the room, each should have its own corner - the territory where the son or daughter will "run". It can be a separate cabinet, drawer, or a whole corner.
👫 Determine who owns which things and which ones can be shared, of course, talk about it with the children.
👫 Teach children to negotiate on their own, find a way out of conflict situations, if possible, do not interfere in their conversation.
👫 Plan your room wisely - there should be nothing superfluous in it. Then there will be more space for games and relaxation.
👫 Decorate each child's area in a different color, write initials on the boxes or draw icons that the children choose. So the child will feel like a master in his corner.
Parents wish the appearance of children of different sexes in the family, and are happy about this event. However, the issues of their upbringing often baffle adults. For what reasons brother and sister do not find mutual understanding and how to avoid conflict - MedAboutMe portal will tell about it.
Children vie for parental attention
Jealousy of their parents is one of the most common reasons why children do not find a common language.
Firstly, the appearance of a second baby is a serious stress for all family members. At the same time, for an older child, this can become a heavy burden. The fact is that adults often impose on him too many responsibilities according to the right of seniority, which are difficult for him to cope with. And he is torn between the desire to appear adult and responsible, and the difficulty of getting used to a new role. As a result, a negative attitude towards the younger family member may arise, fueled by a more loyal attitude towards him on the part of adults.
Secondly, education provides for "boyish" and "girl" games. For the first, as a rule, the father is responsible, for the second - the mother. Therefore, as soon as one of the parents begins to devote more time to one child, the second is offended, and vice versa. Parents need to involve brother and sister in joint games in order to avoid bouts of jealousy and aggression. Both parents, mother and father, should pay equal attention to children of different sexes and love them equally.
But even in this case, the parents are in danger of a struggle for domination - who will be the first, who will have the last word in the dispute, etc. Here you need the ability of adults to listen to the opinion of both children, to engage in constructive dialogue with them, explaining their decisions. Use a draw or a counting rhyme, then there will be no one to be offended.
Boy and girl, brother and sister - usually there is an opposition of interests. And if the girl in most cases is associated with dolls, bows and beads, then the boy - with cars, pistols and toy soldiers. And if they are not united by a common interesting occupation, then in the future they may lose mutual understanding. Adults should offer children active outdoor games, cycling, cultural events, puzzles, board games etc. Take time for this, and the children will learn to hear and understand each other.
Parents can give equal parenting to children of different sexes
Usually parents tell their son: “You are a boy! And I shouldn't cry, they are afraid and capricious! " The daughter is blamed for carelessness and aggressiveness. Exactly the same attitude persists towards classes: girls should be interested in embroidery and singing, boys - in boxing and construction. The standards of behavior are imposed on children, which later lead to neuroses and disappointments in adults. Everyone should do what he does best and what brings joy and self-realization. Here are some tips on how to avoid mistakes in raising children of different sexes.
- Remove from the lexicon the phrase: "You're a girl (boy)." If parents constantly tell their son: "You shouldn't cry over trifles, you are not a girl" - the boy may conclude that all the girls are crying and capricious. So this can be the first step towards the formation of disrespect for women in childhood. In this case, the girl giving change can be convinced that all the boys are rude and fighters, because the mother says: "Only boys behave this way!"
- Don't compare children of different sexes with each other. They are completely different due to physiological, mental and psychological differences.
- Allow your son, like your daughter, to openly express negative emotions through crying and tears.
- Allow children to engage in a section or circle by vocation, and not at the request of adults.
- Distribute household chores among children according to their age, without dividing them into “male” and “female” work. It is better if the introduction of new responsibilities will be accompanied by the acquisition of new rights by the child.
- Explain to the children that equal does not mean the same. Equal rights and responsibilities in no way make them the same. Each of them is individual.
- More often, problems with raising a son arise if a daughter is already growing in the family. The experience of raising a girl may not only be useful, but also hurt. In the opposite case, there are usually fewer problems, although, of course, the difference in upbringing will have to be taken into account anyway.
Modest living conditions leave their mark on the formation of children of different sexes, since they have to live in the same room. While children are small, the problem is not so acute. But with their growing up, the situation changes, and this is due to both puberty and the appearance of a difference in the daily routine.
- For a while daytime sleep the older child must be taken to another room, so that he does not interfere with the younger, who still needs such rest. He will have to find his own corner in any part of the apartment, where he will be comfortable spending this time.
- The student will benefit from some isolation from his younger brother or sister so that he can do his homework without interruption. It is imperative to provide him with a separate table.
- To separate the zones in the children's room, use, for example, a curtain or a rack, cover the walls with different wallpaper, put, if possible, two sets of a table and a chair. This can avoid many conflicts. As a rule, if one child sits down at the table to do something, then it becomes vital for the second to do the same. Allocating a child's personal space through zoning is the right decision.
- Allocate 3 toy boxes - individually for each child and shared for general use. Do the same with the stationery.
- In 3 summer age children begin to sexually identify, so after that date, siblings should sleep separately in their own beds.
- Pajamas will also protect children from shyness and help them to move around easily at night.
- When brother and sister live together in the same room, it is natural that sometimes they can see each other naked. Do not worry, try to take it calmly, do not dramatize the situation. The solution will be to purchase a screen between the sleeping places of the children.
