Psychologist's opinion: “So that the child is happy. How to make your child happy How to make your child's life happy

Every parent dreams of his children growing up to be kind, cheerful and self-confident people, but not everyone can imagine how to do this. In fact, making a child happy is very simple, the main thing is to want it!

Parental attention

The most important thing a baby needs is parental attention. Make it a rule to spend at least two hours a day exclusively with your child, without being distracted by any other activities. Ask how his day went, what worries him, what new things he learned today. It is thanks to parental attention that the baby feels stability and feels completely safe. Caring for the baby can be manifested in any little detail: instead of setting an alarm clock for the baby, wake him up yourself with a gentle kiss and hug; before leaving your baby in kindergarten, remind him of how much you love him; allow your child to at least sometimes express himself, even if it just involves choosing clothes for kindergarten or a book that mom will read before bed.

Learn to share

For a child to grow up kind and compassionate, you need to set an example for him and start with the web.

Teach kind words

Tell your child what compliments are and why it is so important to sometimes say encouraging words to others. Explain what you can say to your peers to improve their mood, what words to use to express your love for your family, and in what cases praise and admiration are appropriate. Kids learn good manners very quickly, and very soon your child will be like a little sun, giving warmth to everyone around him.

Have genuine fun

When you're having fun with your baby, playing a fun game, playing a sport, or just being silly, do it with all your heart! Laugh loudly, because laughter is beneficial for strengthening nervous system and makes the body less vulnerable to disease. Sincere contagious laughter increases the concentration of the hormone of joy - endorphin - in the blood, which means the best remedy for depression - real fun!

Positive attitude

Despite the fact that all parents want no troubles to ever happen in their baby’s life, it is impossible to insure him against everything bad that can happen. That’s why it’s so important to teach your baby to think positively. Explain to your child that from any difficult situation There is always a way out, that everyone makes mistakes and you should not be upset by failures, but perceive them as life experience. Teach your child to set goals and achieve them, despite the obstacles that arise, and then he will grow up not only as an optimist, but also as a purposeful person.

Inspiration in everything

Teach your child to find inspiration in everything that surrounds him. Show him everything: music, drawing, literature, dancing, theater. Tell your child how you can express your emotions through painting, how to train your imagination by writing fairy tales and poems, how to relieve stress through dancing, and learn to feel the rhythm with the help of music.

Physical exercise

A happy child is a healthy child! Explain to your child the importance of , tell how they affect a person’s body and mind, how they help them improve themselves, be healthy and not get sick. Include mandatory morning exercises, outdoor games and walks in the fresh air in your baby’s daily routine.

Fight stress

Teach your child to deal with stress and tension. To do this, make it a rule to always pay attention to your baby’s mood and find out the cause of his disorder. Talk to your child in a calm environment, find out what is bothering him, and help him cope with the situation that is bothering him. Teach your child to visualize something pleasant so that he can relax and forget about annoying little things.

By doing these simple recommendations, you can teach your child kindness, mutual assistance, positive attitude and the ability to share, and also help him realize that despite the fact that there are dark and bright streaks in life, any difficulties can always be overcome.

Victoria Gritsuk

Every parent sincerely wishes happiness for their child. From birth we strive to give the best. We buy branded toys, take them to development centers, and give them expensive phones and other gadgets. We strive to fulfill every wish of our child. Of course, all this takes the lion's share of the family budget. Mom and dad bend over backwards just to make sure the child doesn’t need anything. We parents sincerely believe that if a child has everything, then he is happy by default.

Imagine our surprise when one day it turns out that a child, littered with newfangled toys and going to 7 clubs, is unhappy. Moreover, I am sincerely sure that I am not needed and unloved by my parents. How to make a child happy?

The most important condition for children's happiness is confidence in parents' love. Just don’t think that children themselves know that you love them. They do not understand hints and symbolic signs of attention, which are common among adults. Them we need to talk about this, and in plain text. And the more often, the better it is impossible to overdo it here.

More often hug and kiss their children. Child psychologists advise doing this at least four times a day. Many parents are afraid to pamper their child, especially if it is a boy. This widely held belief is wrong. According to the same children's opinion, it is impossible to caress a child. But a lack of affection not only makes the child unhappy, but can lead to developmental delays.

Eye to eye contact is very important for a child from the first days of life.

The eyes are the mirror of the soul, and children intuitively know this. That is why they are constantly looking for a meeting with our gaze. By looking, the child understands how they treat him. Try when communicating make eye contact with the child. Express in your eyes the whole range of feelings you feel for your baby. This will give confidence in your love, and it, as we remember, is the key to a child’s happiness.

Spend time with your child. Of course, with our crazy pace of life, this is extremely difficult to do, but necessary. Play with it for 10-15 minutes while dinner is preparing. Take half an hour before bed, read a fairy tale, answer his endless questions. Let him feel that you need him, that you love him. And then you will see eyes shining with happiness.

Communicate with your child. Take an interest in his life, ask how he spent the day, what he learned, with whom, what was interesting, what he liked, what he didn’t. Let him know about your affairs, share your joys and sorrows, be frank, and the response will not be long in coming.

Let your little man realize that he is not just his mother's tail, but an important member of the family.

Love you unconditionally. This is the most important aspect in children's happiness. Love not because he is handsome, smart, or doing well at school, but simply because he is. After all, children take words literally. Imagine what conclusions a child will draw from the phrase “You behaved badly today, I don’t love you for that!” Such sayings deeply hurt the child, they are stored in memory for the rest of his life. And if you often throw around such phrases, then this is not only about a happy childhood, but also happy life there is no question.

More often remember the happy moments of your childhood, this will not only improve your mood, but also help you understand your child.

These are probably all the simple rules that make childhood truly happy.

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Don't cut from the shoulder

If you are currently under stress, take a time out: go into the next room, give yourself time to cool down, call and complain to a friend, drink coffee, do breathing exercises. No matter what the child has done, he is still too young to bear responsibility for your condition and become an object for venting negative emotions.

If you don't like what you get, change what you give

In other words, try to monitor how your behavior affects your child’s actions.

Give your child the opportunity to be independent

It is important not to make decisions for the child, to give him a choice (at least in small things), not to do all the difficult things for him (even if you objectively do them faster), otherwise the baby will always remain a child - he simply will not have a chance to face with your mistakes, take risks and take responsibility for your choices.

Take care of yourself

Always keep in mind the phrase that flight attendants say on airplanes: “Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then on your child.” Only by being happy man Only by setting an example will you raise your child to be a harmonious personality.

Never reproach a child for ingratitude

Beware of phrases like “I put my whole life on you,” “I sacrificed everything for you.” The child did not ask you for anything and should not carry through his entire life the role of a victim for your torment. With such messages, he will forever remain your debtor, which will prevent him from building his life, being an independent and free person.

Lead by example

Children always do what they see, not what they hear. They are truly only able to repeat what you show by example. If you are rude to your parents, someday your children will begin to be rude to you. If you don't lead healthy image life - you can hardly instill it in your children, even if you talk about it all the time.

Do not show your child excessive concern for his life and health.

“You’ll fall!”, “You’ll get hurt!”, “You can’t!”, “Where are you going?”... and unsure of their abilities. Of course, we need a rational balance between concern for children's safety and excessive reinsurance. But it’s always better to stand nearby and support if necessary than not allow your child to try at all.

Talk about your feelings without reproach

“Because of you I was late!”, “You frayed all my nerves!”, “Everyone’s children are like children, and you...”. The child cannot be held responsible for the condition of the parents. Of course, but in this situation it is better to seek support from other adults, rather than blaming the child. This does not eliminate the need to articulate your emotions and feelings: “I’m tired,” “I’m angry at you for...”. The difference is that these words are said to communicate one's condition, and not to induce feelings of guilt.

Don't let your child get angry

Just show how and where this can be done in your family. The best way is to teach your child to say: “I’m angry with you and I ask you not to do...” than. You can tear newspapers, throw a ball, stomp your feet, growl... The inability to express anger leads to physical and emotional tension, and later, in adulthood, to illness and emotional problems.

Try not to scold or overpraise

An abundance of criticism leads to low self-esteem and lack of confidence in one’s capabilities, while non-stop praise leads to dependence on constant external reinforcement of one’s actions. It is best to remain an emotionally involved realist: “You drew a rooster! Multi-colored, bright! I love the color combination!” Agree, this is somewhat different than simply: “Well done! You draw better than anyone!” Sooner or later the child will face reality and become upset.

Set boundaries

You can’t do without them when communicating with a child. The child should have one built according to the so-called traffic light principle: red is always impossible, yellow is negotiable, green is always possible. As for the “red list” - if a child violates these rules, the parent should always give the same reaction. Predictability is important here. If there are no rules in your family or are too “floating”, then the child lives in a constant situation of anxiety, as if he (and not the adult) is responsible for what is happening - no child can play such a role.

Remember that it is normal to be angry with your child.

There is not a single parent who would from time to time. Another thing is how to deal with it so that it is not destructive for the baby. You can talk about your anger, but at the same time the child should not feel that he is bad - scold the actions, not the child: “I’m angry that you didn’t put away the toys, because we agreed,” and not “You are bad, I’m bad.” I don’t love you anymore.”

Tell your children about your love every day

They should feel important and welcome in your life. “I’m glad that I have you,” “I’m interested in you.” It’s just important to say this sincerely when you’re really in a good mood, so that children don’t “read” that you’re saying one thing but feeling something else. It is equally important to hug a child, as the famous child psychologist Julia Gippenreiter wrote, at least 8 times a day.

Take care of yourself, be honest and predictable with your children, try to be patient and kind, and they will reciprocate.

“The most successful experience that could happen in your life is a happy childhood,” these words belong to the queen of detective stories, Agatha Christie. Indeed, a carefree childhood is a special time in the life of every person. This is a time of amazing discoveries and fun games. Children are not afraid to expand their powers, experiment, make mistakes and experiment again. But all these desires to get out of their comfort zone scare adults so much... Parental happiness lies in something else. Moms and dads are too worried about the safety and health of their offspring.

Regardless of external circumstances, parents strive to sacredly protect the ideal world of the child. If you don’t know how to do this, here are the conclusions of scientific research. You will find some tips in them.

Communication with peers

The basic need of every child is to play a lot. As the baby gets older, he has new responsibilities: studying, helping parents, extracurricular activities. But the best pastime will always be games. This will not change even in adolescence, when children enjoy going out and going to parties. According to child psychologist Peter Gray, kids strive to learn the most important life lessons not from their parents, but from their peers. Therefore, do not deprive your child of this amazing opportunity to learn. the world. Accept that there are more authoritative people in his life.

Free your child from observing intra-family conflicts

Starting from the very early childhood, the baby’s brain develops at a tremendous speed. When children see problems in adult relationships, it can negatively affect them. mental condition. Regular verbal skirmishes between parents, quarrels, scandals and showdowns provide children with a feeling of anxiety and uncertainty. Save your kids from unnecessary stress!

Do not compare your child with third parties

IN modern society Each person is aimed at individual success. Those parents who have little success in this life themselves are especially guilty of making comparisons. They want their children to realize dreams that have not yet come true. But if a child lacks talent in something, mothers and fathers draw parallels with other children. They want to intentionally plant the seed of competitiveness and thereby encourage the child to try harder.
Comparisons can also be directed at individual personality traits. Parents think that they are doing a good deed, and their child will try to be like more successful peers. However, at this moment everyone forgets what the little man is going through. He is saddened that his mother values ​​someone else's child more; he feels that he is good for nothing. If comparisons continue in the future, the baby will fall into deep depression.

Understanding the benefits of negative emotions

Due to little life experience, the child does not know how to adequately assess his emotions. In addition to envy, little ones are characterized by spontaneous outbursts of anger, sadness, sadness and other negative manifestations. However, this condition is assessed incorrectly by adults. We begin to blame our children for bad behavior and even punish. Instead, it is necessary to recognize the right little man experience negative emotions. Just offer your child a constructive way out and teach him to cope with his condition.

Ability to apply effort

When a child reaches primary school age, he will understand that moving forward is only possible through hard work. It is important to teach your child to recognize moments when you have to force yourself to do something. From now on, the focus is not on parental praise for intelligence or great job, and the assessment is for determination, hard work and diligence. Teach your baby to focus on the process itself, and not on the end result.

The meaning of family traditions

There are many things that make children happy. Not least on this list are lovely family traditions. A cozy comfortable atmosphere in the house is important aspect in child development younger age. According to psychology researchers, if a child is part of regular family dinners and celebrations, he feels important element unified structure. If you regularly practice joint trips, sports and hiking, this not only brings each family member closer together, but also imparts invaluable experience to the children. Psychologists have even identified five main benefits family traditions for kids: awareness of unconditional parental love, desire to copy positive traits adults, monitoring the child’s behavior, fruitful communication and strengthening connections between generations.

Let kids take risks

Of course, little brats cannot be ignored. However, it is so easy to overdo it, controlling every movement of the baby... From the point of view of psychologists, the tactics of total control are counterproductive for the development of your children. Increased attention to the child and adults' fear of imaginary problems stimulate parents to reduce the demands placed on the child. Thus, children become like greenhouse plants that are planted in open ground in bad weather. They do not know how to cope with difficulties, are dependent on adults and are often anxious. To avoid such a state, it is necessary to expand the powers of young tomboys. A justified risk can instill in a child’s mind self-confidence, as well as self-respect.

Develop a sense of responsibility in your child

Do you think that doing household chores cannot make children feel happy? If you agree with this, then you are deeply mistaken. Any household work and even performing homework without adult supervision, they raise self-esteem in children. The child understands that he can do this alone, and over time develops a sense of responsibility. But adult supervision plays a cruel joke on children.

Creating Happy Memories

An experiment conducted by Harvard University researchers showed that adults who have fond memories of childhood demonstrate a heightened sense of moral purity.

If you want to help your child grow up kind person, strive to act in such a way that, when he becomes an adult, he remembers his childhood years with warmth. To do this, strive to be happy yourself. When adults show joy and bright emotions, the child perceives this as an example to follow.


Tell your child:

1. I love you.
2. I love you no matter what.

3. I love you even when you are angry with me.
4. I love you even when I'm mad at you.
5. I love you even when you are far from me. My love is always with you.
6. If I could choose any child on Earth, I would still choose you.
7. I love you to the moon, around the stars and back.
8. Thank you.
9. I liked playing with you today.
10. My favorite memory of the day was when you and I did something together.

Tell us:

11. The story of their birth or adoption.
12. About how you were *affectionate* with them when they were little.
13. The story of how you chose their names.
14 About myself at their age.
15. About how their grandparents met.
16. What are your favorite colors?
17. That sometimes it’s difficult for you too.
18. That when you hold their hand and squeeze it 3 times, it’s a secret code that means *love you*.
19. What is your plan.
20. What are you doing now?

Listen:

21. Your child is in the car.

22. What does your child say about his toys, and think about how important this is to him.
23. A question in which your child really needs your help.
24. One second longer than your patience allows.
25. The feelings behind your child's words.

Ask:

26. Why do you think this happened?
27. What do you think will happen if…..?
28. How do we find out?
29. What are you thinking about?
30. What is your most pleasant memory of the day?
31. What do you think “it” tastes like?

Show:

32. How to do something, instead of prohibiting it from being done.
33. How to whistle into blades of grass.
34. How to shuffle cards, make a fan/house.
35. How to cut food.
36. How to fold laundry.
37. How to look for information when you don't know the answer.
38. Attachment to your spouse.
38. That taking care of yourself, taking care of yourself is very important.

Make time:

39. To observe construction sites.
40. To look at birds.
41. Have your child help you cook.
42. Go to some places together.
43. Digging in the dirt together.
44. To complete tasks at your child's pace.
45. Just to sit with your child while he plays.

Make your child happy:

46. ​​Surprise him and clean his room.
47. Put chocolate in pancakes.
48. Post a meal or snack in the shape of a smiley face.
49. Make some sound effects when you help them do something.
50. Play with them on the floor.

Let go:

51. Feelings of guilt.
52. Your thoughts about how it should have been.
53. Your need to be right.

Give:

54. Look at your child with kind eyes.
55. Smile when your child enters the room.
56. Reciprocate when your child touches you.
57. Make contact before you say (correct) anything so that your child actually hears you.
58. Give your child the opportunity to cope with his dissatisfaction (anger, rage) before helping him.
59. Take a bath at the end of a long day.
60. Choose your favorite way to be kind to your child.

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