But every normally developing baby necessarily has a desire to test a terrible threat on their own experience. This is how restrictions are overcome. But the child must know that behind the pleasure of disobedience there are unpleasant consequences, including punishment. The girl from “Geese-Swans” violated the prohibition of her parents and got into an unpleasant story. However, she is not only ready to substitute her soft spot for punishment, but also seeks to fix everything so that her parents do not find out what happened. Psychologically, this girl will have a much easier life than the one who never dares to disobey her parents. How to raise such a girl?
Tactics "Natural Consequences". This is such an educational program that makes the child feel his mistakes. He wet his pants - walk for a while in wet ones, teased the dog - get what he deserves from her. Do not seek to immediately eliminate the consequences of disobedience, let the child feel them!
Tactics "Personal example". It's simple: if you do not throw a banana skin on the side of the road, but carry it to the bin, then the child will eventually do the same.
The game of "can't". This game is suitable for very young children who do not understand the word "no". Give your child, say, five candies or toys. Set some limit. For example, you can not raise your right hand or squat. Now give simple commands: stand up, sit down, raise your right arm, left leg. Violation of the prohibition is punishable by the deprivation of one candy or toy. The child very quickly understands what “no” means.
In order for a child to comply with the prohibitions, you need to be able to set them correctly. Often the child calculates the mother with her weaknesses and softness and plays on this (children know better than adults that it is easier to allow than to remain firm in the ban). Here are the basic “no” rules necessary to ensure that the child does not go beyond the boundaries:
1. Restrictions should be in the life of every child, even a very small one. They should be flexible, and there should not be too many of them.
2. Prohibitions should not contradict the healthy needs of the child (you can not impose bans on movement and cognitive activity).
3. Restrictions must be agreed with other family members (it is unacceptable for one parent to say “no” and the other immediately cancel the ban).
4. Forbidding tone should not be aggressive and rude. You can say “no” very friendly, confidentially.
5. It is better to punish a child who violates prohibitions by depriving him of something he needs and enjoys than by causing him pain and suffering.
It depends on your firmness and ability to say “no” whether the child will obey you, or whether he will not care about you, and your prohibitions, and your punishments.
Current page: 11 (the book has a total of 16 pages) [available reading excerpt: 11 pages]
A conspiracy for the selfless and devoted love of children for their mother
From a letter:
“My fourteen-year-old son is completely out of hand. He used to study well, and then he began to play truant, lie, steal money: you can’t leave a ruble at home. Started smoking. Every day he asks for forgiveness, promises to take up his mind ... At home, the situation is terrible. We constantly swear, it almost comes to a fight. I hardly believe my son anymore, because he constantly lies. I go home - and I do not know what awaits me there. I'm already tired of tears and swearing ... "
Stand on the threshold of the front door, facing the apartment, and read the plot directly from the book so as not to confuse the words and make a mistake. When you read, in no case should you stop. In addition, there should not be animals near you at the time of the ceremony, so try to remove them from the house for this time. The spoken words are:
I will become a servant of God (name), blessed,
And I will go, crossing myself.
I'll walk on mother earth
I will cover myself with the sky, wash myself with dew,
I gird myself with stars,
Bow down on four sides.
No one can cover the sky
Put out the dawns of the clear
And count all the frequent stars.
So none of my children will be able to me,
Offend your mother, think evil,
Dashing to think, raise your hand,
To catch the tongue in a dispute.
Lord, take away their longing for me,
According to their mother, according to God's servant (name).
How they screamed through my milk,
Missed my mother's tit
They grabbed me by the hem, they ran after me,
From my hand did not lag behind,
Gone - grieved,
Came - joyfully greeted,
Everyone, as one, called mom,
I was them and food and water,
So it would be now and always,
For all eternity,
The kids would miss me
I was welcomed with joy
They would call me mom
They looked into their eyes, they did not want to leave.
Lord, King of Heaven,
You love Your Mother of God,
Don't let my kids hurt me.
Be you, my words, strong, sculpting
For now, for centuries, for all time. Amen.
So that children do not forget their mother
From a letter:
“I have a teenage daughter and I love her with all my heart. Now, in general, everything is fine with us (there are, of course, problems, but where without them), but I look to the future with fear. I know many sad stories when children abandoned their elderly parents to their fate, starved them, kicked them out of the house. However, this was talked about a lot both on television and in newspapers.
I do not want to say that my daughter is so bad or evil, but in life anything can happen. Yes, and those monster children, probably, when they were small, also seemed kind and loving to their parents. I beg you, Natalya Ivanovna, teach us, mothers, some kind of conspiracy so that the children do not forget us.
So that the daughter does not forget the mother
Everyone knows cases when an adult daughter left home and forgot about her mother. To prevent something like this from happening to you, read the following conspiracy:
There is black water in the river, yellow banks near the water,
And my house has thresholds.
Daughter's feet would walk
To me, God's servant (name).
My daughter would honor me
Don't forget your old mother
In sorrow, in illness did not leave,
How I missed her,
How a mare yearns for her foal,
Sheep after her lamb,
Dove in the nest
And my daughter on her porch and on me,
God's servant (name). Amen.
If the son forgot his mother
What a sin to hide, and this often happens. The following conspiracy can help this grief:
I will open, servant of God (name), a window,
I call my son
I'll call him to the threshold.
Remove, Lord, my anxiety.
I can't eat or sleep
Do not suffer for an hour or half an hour.
I throw myself at the white walls,
I rush to the dark windows.
I don't see the moon or the sun
Everyone would cry at the window.
Go, tears, and bring the one
Whom I gave birth to and whom I nursed with milk.
I can't see the white light
Without clear falcon-son.
Lord, find him and bring him
Take a peek, wave your hand.
Mother of God,
How did you miss your Son,
I didn’t know peace either in the day or in the night,
Until I saw my dear Son.
Give me, God's servant (name),
to see my son,
Press to your heart.
To make the mother's children grieve
Pull out a rod that looks like a slingshot from a broom and, driving it along the threshold, read a special plot nine times in a row. The ceremony is held for three days in a row. The spoken words are:
I impose, the servant of God (name), seal-sadness
On the zealous heart of your child
For me, my mother.
Wherever you are, whoever you walk with,
And all would not lose memory of me.
Amen.
Another conspiracy to make maternal children sad
Read the conspiracy words over food or drink, which should then be treated to the child. The conspiracy is this:
Like the Christ Child to the Mother
He crouched down and how over the years he
Didn't forget her
I didn’t offend with words, I didn’t betray with deeds,
So that my child does not betray me
And did not forget.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Conspiracy on the attachment of children to parents
The next morning after the Nativity of Christ, before you wash yourself, say the following conspiracy words:
The Mother of God has a Son,
And I have (child's name). Amen.
Having said this, light a candle at the icon of the Nativity of Christ and let it burn out to the end. As soon as it burns out, you can wash and have breakfast.
So that the children of their parents do not beat
From a letter:
“I would like to ask you for help. I have a neighbor - a very kind, affectionate woman. And every time I look at her, I cannot understand how such a monster-son could be born to such a bright person. Maybe he went to his father (I never saw him)? Be that as it may, this guy does not work anywhere, drinks deeply and, worst of all, beats his own mother. My neighbor wears trousers and a turtleneck even in the summer - she doesn't want to show her bruises! The whole entrance is already moaning from this guy, and the police do not want to take any measures. How many statements we have already referred - and do not count. When he gets drunk, he can run out of the entrance to the street and start pestering people, climbing with his fists at everyone (it’s good that he didn’t kill anyone, although my heart feels that this is only for now). We don’t let children into the yard anymore - we are afraid. Or he will bring his friends to him and all night long they have music yelling, screaming, noise ... Where my neighbor is at this time, I don’t know. At the same time, he keeps the door wide open all the time, although there is nothing to steal from them anymore - this bastard took everything out of the house! I am very sorry for my neighbor, because her son does not put a penny on her. Maybe you can give me some advice so that I can at least help her.”
In this case, one should read a special conspiracy over food or drink, which is then treated to the son. Better yet, if on Christmas Eve you cross your son's pillow and read the same plot over it. In any case, the plot should be read three times in a row. His words are:
spasov hand,
Throw on your scarf
On the servant of God (son's name):
On his mouth, so as not to scream,
On his feet, so as not to kick,
On his hands, so as not to beat,
On his soul, to forever forget the anger.
Come to me Jesus Christ Himself,
Spasova hand, Yegoriev castle,
Virgin key.
I'll lock Her keys, I'm not afraid of anyone.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
To prevent children from raising a hand against their parents
If children beat their parents, you need to read a special conspiracy over soap, which is then quietly thrown to cruel children. The spoken words are:
As soon as this soap is washed off the face,
So soon evil will descend from the servant of God (name).
How soapy foam does not hold on the forehead,
So let anger not rest on God's servant (name).
Key, lock, tongue.
Amen. Amen. Amen.
Or touch the deceased and say to yourself:
Like this dead man
Hands don't go up
Do not clench into fists
So it would be with the servant of God (name)
On me, the servant of God (name),
Hands didn't go up
They didn’t wave, they didn’t clench into fists.
Key, lock, tongue.
Amen. Amen. Amen.
If the children raise their hand to the mother
The mother, who is offended by children, must heat the bathhouse on the last day of the waning month. When the water in the boiler boils, you need to throw a pebble into it, saying:
Like this pebble from the water
Won't go up
So it is with the servant of God (name)
Hands on me, servant of God (name),
They will never rise.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
If the daughter beats the mother, then you should say:
So the servant of God (daughter's name) will not rise.
The cruelty of children
If children are cruel and do not put their parents in a penny, read the following conspiracy into the wind:
The buoys are twisting, the buoys are twirling, the buoys are blowing.
Come on, buoy wind, on a buoy, a servant of God (name).
Roll his roar, roll his scream
Take away his evil, console his sorrow.
As the grass dries up without water,
Child without food
So there would be no evil in the servant of God (name)
On me, his mother.
If your own children hate you
It is no secret that there are cruel sons, and daughters can endlessly harass their parents with their anger and nit-picking, wishing them a speedy death. What can be done in this case?
Take some of your own blood and put any seeds (such as cucumbers) into it. Hide all this more securely for fourteen days. Then plant the seeds in the ground. With what grows from these seeds, feed your son or daughter, and children will never offend you again.
Conspiracy from hatred of children to mother
Take seven new, beautiful towels, such that those to whom you give them would not want to throw them away or sell them. Go to the church and give these towels to the poor, as alms are usually served, after reading the following plot over them:
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
I will go, servant of God (name),
Yes, on a wide street
In the clear sun, in the white light.
I shine with God's light
I will wrap myself in a gray cloud,
I will shower with clear stars.
And how can you not stop the moon in the sky,
So it is with me, the servant of God (name),
Do not poison my children
Do not offend, do not drive out of the house,
Do not call a bad word.
Cry, their soul, suffer,
Day and night do not know peace
For me, for God's servant (name),
Now and forever and forever.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Now and forever and forever and ever. Amen.
Remove the anger from the son
From a letter:
“I ask you to help my seventeen-year-old son. Six months ago, he began dating a girl. He started drinking, smoking not only cigarettes, but also weed, started skipping college classes. As a result, the session failed. She has already been expelled from college, he is not there yet. But he keeps skipping classes. We recently left town for two weeks. I hoped that he would come to his senses during this time. But when they returned, it turned out that the son had left home and was now sleeping with a friend.
Please, help! I want him to return home, to get an education, to have a successful marriage, never lose touch with his family, never forget and respect his mother. How sweet he used to be! And now it feels like he hates us.”
If the son looks at his parents like a beast, swears in vain and misses all good exhortations, take a bunch of keys from different locks and put them in a pot of water. You must boil the keys at noon, at eight o'clock in the evening and at three in the morning and leave the pot on the stove. In the morning
you need to wash and drink your son with this water, here you will have to cheat, but there is still no other way out. The rite is performed three times in a row on a waning month (pay special attention to this, since by performing the rite on a growing month, you will only aggravate the situation). After that, buy your son three new clothes (one after the other, do not pull). Things can be the cheapest - it doesn't matter. Give new clothes to your son with your left hand and, looking into his eyes, read the following conspiracy to yourself:
Like a fish is silent
So you shut up.
As the keys do not shout at their castle,
So you do not shout at me, your mother. Amen.
Conspiracy for filial love
I will become, crossing myself,
Blessing icon.
There is a lake in the middle of mother earth,
There are dumb fish, blind crayfish, water toads.
Among them there is a white fish,
Servant of God (name).
The fish are surrounded by water.
With a whitefish, a servant of God (name),
The son is always there.
As there can be no dead body without earth,
As fish cannot swim without water,
It can't be like that
My son is without a mother, servants of God (name).
Bored, read, do not leave in old age.
Key, lock, tongue. Amen.
What to do if the child is completely out of hand
From a letter:
“I am writing to you for the first time, I really hope for your help and support. My niece is thirteen years old, but the whole family cannot find a common language with her. The girl runs away from home (may not come for weeks), lies to everyone so subtly that not every adult will be able to come up with something like that. Heart-to-heart talks, requests, instructions, ultimatums had no effect. The only authority for her is her father, but his influence has begun to weaken recently. He says about his mother that he hates her. Their family lives separately, and I, of course, do not know everything that happens between them, but I see how her mother is trying to establish peace in the house. But, unfortunately, she began to give up more and more often. I love them all very much and want to help, but I don't know how. In addition, I feel responsible for this child, because I am her godmother. Please tell me how can we…”
If the child lies all the time
Secretly from your child, read a special conspiracy over food or drink, which you then treat him to. The ceremony is performed three times in a row, and after that your child will forget about his vice. The conspiracy is this:
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Two brothers and three sisters came:
Zachary da Macarius, Daria, Marya da Natalya.
They spoke with tongues, lips, moved their cheeks,
Whispered, muttered, spoke,
Three times, repeatedly spoke
The servant of God (name) has a tongue,
They sat silent on this tongue.
And you, tongue, do not say too much, do not shout,
And you, tongue, be silent with silence,
So to say good language
And keep silent about the bad language.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Now and forever and forever and ever. Amen.
So that the child never quarreled with the mother
It is noticed that after reading this conspiracy, the child becomes kinder, begins to take care of the mother and never be rude to her again. I really want this miraculous conspiracy to help you too! His words are:
You are my clear dawns, you are my red dawns,
Get together, you, dawns, in one sulgan.
You walk high, you see far,
Do not go to the field or to the sea,
And you go to my servant of God (name).
Shed light, love on her soul,
On her heart
So that she worries about her mother,
Listened to me, did not interrupt.
Take out all evil from her,
Put goodness into her soul.
How I carried the servant of God (name) in my arms,
She fed with her breast, with her milk,
How she ran after me, suffered,
Didn't let go of my hand
"Mother!" screaming day and night
That's how she called me
She didn't use a rude word.
My little bird, take off my goryushka
Dew, rain, pure snow
Rinse, rinse the hatred from her soul.
Now and forever and forever and ever.
From now until the century for many years.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Conspiracy from maternal trouble
From a letter:
“My daughter is only fifteen years old, and she is already, no matter how terrible I admit it, a lost person. Maybe her friends are to blame (she got into bad company at the age of twelve), or maybe there was some kind of flaw in her initially - I don’t know. But as soon as she got into this company, she immediately began to smoke! You won't believe it at the age of twelve. At the age of fourteen, she began to drink beer and all kinds of cocktails. She began to leave the house in the evenings and did not appear until the morning. To all the questions, she was only rude and closed the door in my face. I didn’t do anything with her: I tried to talk in a good way, and scolded, and didn’t give money, all to no avail. She closed it in the apartment - she escaped through the window. We live on the second floor, and under us is just a gas pipe. So she got through this pipe to the visor of the front door, and then climbed out through the window into the entrance. In general, as soon as I found out about this, I immediately stopped closing it - I got scared, it would suddenly break and fall, it’s better to let it walk. She has troubles at school: constant conflicts with teachers, deuces (already in the second year she managed to stay). Normal children do not communicate with her, avoid her, but all the trash stretches as if she had been smeared with honey. She has already managed to take part in fights, for which she was registered in the children's room of the police. They put her on the register and to the narcologist ... But there was little sense from all this. She is not afraid of anything, she does not want to listen to anyone. Steals money. If I hide them, then she threatens to commit suicide, she even cut her veins once, and seriously. My daughter is disappearing, and I can’t do anything about it - I’m fighting like a fish on ice, but it’s all to no avail! I don’t know what to do with her, how to save her!”
If the children are doing well, then the mother is always happy. If the son or daughter has gone astray, rolled down the slope, the mother will cry out all her eyes, she will not be happy with the white light. If, God forbid, something similar happens in your family, take water from a wooden well on Maundy Thursday, drink two sips, and bring the third sip in your mouth to your home. (Never spit or swallow this water!) Then spit this water on the threshold of your house and say:
When this water returns to where I took it,
Only then will the servant of God (name) drink intoxicating
And not according to God's word to live.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Now and forever and forever and ever. Amen.
What to do if the child is out of hand (ambulance)
Just yesterday, your child followed you around, carefully listening to your every word, and today he runs away from home, is rude, steals money from you and no longer listens to you, his parents, but to his friends. Hurry up to take action, act before it's too late, because it is easy to lose a child, but it is very difficult to return him to the family. Go to the church, put twelve candles there in front of the icon of the Virgin "Joy of All Who Sorrow." Kneel before the holy image, pray with all your heart and ask for help, and when you return home, read a special conspiracy on the holy water you brought from the church. By persuasion or cunning, drink and wash the child with charmed water. The conspiracy is as follows:
I'm leaving in the shirt of Our Lady.
May the wounds of my God cover me,
Four Crowns of Heaven:
Saint John the Evangelist, Saint Luke,
Saint Matthew, Saint Mark.
May they keep me from men and women,
From lead and iron, from steel,
So that they can neither hurt nor cut,
Don't break my bones
So that my friends could not me
Manage and push around
Neither flattery to take, nor fear to embrace,
So that the wine does not intoxicate me,
Alien gold did not attract
And would be over me
Mother Church and mother dear.
Amen.
Mothers to help
From a letter:
"I really need your help. The fact is that I have serious problems with my daughter, and I don’t know what to do, how to influence my daughter. As soon as she has free time, she immediately runs to her friends and after that she can disappear somewhere for several days. When she comes home, I smell alcohol! No matter how much I talked to her, no matter how much I cursed, nothing takes her. I ask her: “Why do you need all this? Why are you doing this to me?" He answers that he doesn't know. How many times she has already promised me not to communicate with her friends, but she does not last long. Please, please help!"
If you want your child not to depend on anyone, not to be led by his friends and girlfriends and consult only with you, honor and obey only you, read this conspiracy:
Go home baby
Don't blame anyone else
Take advice with dad
Take advice with the uterus
Bow down to the icon
Submit to your parents.
So you would all rush home,
Like a baby chasing a tit.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
What to do if an adult daughter eats a mother
From a letter:
“My daughter and I can’t get along. I understand everything, two adults in a small apartment - of course, conflicts are inevitable here. But she does not want to listen to anything, does not want to negotiate. Everything should be according to her, and only according to her. And since we are different from her and we look at things differently, we are constantly at war.
In this case, you should do this. Read a special plot over water, which first wash all the windows, then all the doors, and then the threshold of the front door. The ceremony should be performed three times in a row. And soon you will notice how your daughter's attitude towards you has changed. And do not torment yourself - what happened, it happened! Try not to repeat your past mistakes. The conspiracy is as follows:
On an even day, on an even date, at an even hour
Three holy hierarchs are coming:
Demyan, Kuzma and father Simeon.
The servant of God (name) goes to meet them:
– Where does the path lead you, holy hierarchs?
- We go to the world to give reconciliation,
From any enmity to give healing.
Saint Demyan, Saint Kuzma and Father Simeon,
Give, for Christ's sake, reconciliation,
Deliverance from enmity
Me, God's servant (name),
And the servant of God (daughter's name).
Take out your golden sabers,
Fire knives, damask axes,
Cut you off from the servant of God (daughter's name)
All hatred, all impatience,
Give me, for Christ's sake, deliverance from her evil.
In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Now and right now.
Amen.
Attention! This is an introductory section of the book.
If you liked the beginning of the book, then the full version can be purchased from our partner - the distributor of legal content LLC "LitRes".
Oleg's question
Hello Anna. My name is Oleg, 45 years old. I have a strong family, a wife and two children. I am a military man in the past, now I have my own small business. He achieved everything in his life. He always provided for his family, his wife never worked, she took care of the children and the house. Our house is a full bowl, cleanliness, comfort.
And the problem is this: my eldest son, he is 19, completely insolent. He does not want to study, in the institute in which I arranged him, there are only debts. He doesn’t go to the rocking chair, he doesn’t go in for sports, he doesn’t even clean the bed at home. At the same time, he hangs out at expensive clubs, buys expensive clothes. I give him money. I don’t feel sorry for him, but I sometimes ask myself, am I indulging his irresponsibility and laziness? Now I'm thinking about giving him to the army. I'll tell you, let them expel you from the institute for debts. Maybe even in the army he will be raised. Any advice on how to influence it?
Answer
Hello Oleg. I understood from your letter: you are very worried about your son, you want him to grow up to be a strong, educated and responsible man. You are a (hyper) caring husband and father.
Demanding obedience from a child and raising independence are two different things.
You are an independent person, you have achieved everything in life yourself, without coercion by your parents. And your son has a situation of prosperity in life. And while there is no motivation to achieve something on your own, the child's independence is blocked and manifests itself only in moments of resistance to your will.
It seems to you that you demand independence from him, but in reality it seems that only obedience: study well at the institute (in which you arranged him), go in for sports (visiting a rocking chair that you have chosen and pay for). And if he does not live “correctly”, let the army achieve obedience.
The development of independence is the transfer of the right of choice and responsibility.
History: One boy, at the request of his parents, studied at a special school for especially gifted children. There were very high requirements: from the 1st grade, every day to practice for 3-4 hours on a musical instrument, without days off and holidays. As I got older, the number of hours of study increased.
For the first 2 years, his parents managed to force him to study, then the boy began to resist, deceive and evade. When the boy turned 10, his parents realized that if they did not stop forcing the boy, he would hate classes and their relationship would completely deteriorate.
And the parents stopped, before that they explained that they were relieving themselves of responsibility for the boy's studies, and if he was expelled from the special school, so be it. For three years the boy was on the verge of expulsion, and then he began to study on his own (he became a laureate of competitions several times).
The conclusion is, if you want independence and responsibility from your son, give them to him, support the very standing of your son. Your child is a separate being, he has his own path, which he has to find.
You will continue to demand obedience, you risk breaking, growing a weak-willed personality. After letting him go, get ready: he will most likely come off after the “yoke of the ancestors”, and become “even worse”. He needs to live through a repressed teenage period of rebellion, which requires the endurance of parents.
It is important to understand that a person's natural breathing is calm, measured and deep breathing with the stomach. However, under the pressure of the modern high-speed rhythm of life, a person accelerates so that it becomes literally “not to breathe”. In other words, a person begins to breathe quickly and shallowly, as if suffocating, and at the same time engage the chest. Such chest breathing is a sign of anxiety and often leads to the hypervenous syndrome, when the blood is supersaturated with oxygen, which is expressed in the opposite feeling: it seems that you do not have enough oxygen, from which you begin to breathe even more intensively, thereby falling into a vicious circle of anxious breathing. .
Relaxation: theory and practice
Theory
Frequent, prolonged, intense emotional experiences cannot but affect our physical well-being. The same anxiety always manifests itself in the form of muscle tension, which, in turn, gives the brain a signal that it is time to worry. This vicious circle occurs because mind and body are inextricably linked. Being “educated” and “cultured” people, we suppress, but do not show (do not express, do not express) emotions, due to which the resulting muscle tension is not consumed, but accumulates, which leads to muscle clamps, spasms and symptoms of vegetovascular dystonia. To relax tense muscles, paradoxically, it is possible through a short, but quite intense tension, which contributes to a better relaxation of the muscles, which is the essence of neuromuscular relaxation.
Big family: we live together
A big family is a real small state. Several generations meet under one roof every day. This is a place where you can find understanding and sympathy. But keeping the peace is not easy.
The main advantages of a large family: its members develop self-confidence, the ability to overcome difficulties, and emotional stability. Such a family feeds with positive energy, but in return it requires attention and strict adherence to general rules. It turns out that family ties are endless mutual obligations, in the sea of which one can easily lose part of one's "I", as well as a good piece of personal space. A situation may arise when everyone in the family acts differently, hence quarrels and conflicts arise. To remedy the situation, you can convene a family council and discuss the rules of interaction with all family members. After a frank conversation, the reasons for quarrels most often disappear, the tension in the relationship subsides.
How naive were the ancient Greeks, in particular the philosopher Theophrastus, who in his treatise “Characteristics” said: “Tactlessness is the inability to choose the right moment for communication, which causes trouble to the interlocutor. A tactless person does not have malicious intent, but acts at the wrong time and at the wrong time.
Of course, one can assume that the neighbor Aunt Raya, who, congratulating you on your birthday, will not fail to mention that the years go by, and work is not a wolf, in fact, ingenuously wishes you to get married soon and forget about your career. You can also justify a young nephew who candidly compares your eyes under the glasses with the headlights of a brand new Volkswagen - his tactlessness is based on a lack of life experience. But in the modern world, there are many more people who deliberately throw a provocative phrase in order to enjoy your sharp reaction - embarrassment, irritation or aggression. For example, a “girlfriend” who, in the presence of a man who is clearly not indifferent to you, is interested in how your visit to the proctologist went. Or an employee, trying to set you up in front of her superiors, asks an “innocent” question about whether you managed to download the next episode of a fashion series - in the midst of a working day. They are none other than trolls. And if the behavior of Aunt Rai can be justified by a lack of education and innocence, then trolls, as a rule, have a completely different motivation.
