Why don't people appreciate the good that you do them?
The question is, of course, interesting. On the one hand, they, they, the radishes, just get used to and begin to perceive it good as due. And on the other hand, is it so good it is good if we start waiting for gratitude in response? Ideally, receiving should be grateful, and giving disinterested. But life is generally unjust. There are different options. Become Mother Teresa and all do good just like that. Or become a complete egoist and generally do nothing to anyone. Or become a mercantile pragmatist and do good only to those who will give something in response. Or more mercantically - do good only in response to good. I myself look in circumstances - to give or take. And strongly about people do not worry. What are there, no one is perfect.
When a person does good, he first thinks with a heart, as it is very sorry and something needs to be done, and then over time, when the man who made a good becomes obsessive and brazen, then he thinks his head, but there is little ungrateful happiness of ungrateful people. And no one makes no one makes good, just do themselves, so if you would not worry, could help and did not help.
Well, as it says: I made a good, get away to the distance so that the wave of gratitude does not hoock People in essence, many ungrateful. I will give an example: my uncle was kicked out of the house with empty hands, his daughters immediately said that he didn't need their families with them, and we thought and decided that it was impossible to leave in the misfortune. I highlighted him a room, bought clothes, helped with work. What did we achieve? Every day comes drunk every day and rolls us scandals, plus it also raised the hand once, and expels him. Conclusion: Where is banal thanks? In such a situation, you do not expect her, but we are waiting for a person to behave in human. The same as: Good intentions are paved by the road to hell; Help for the soul is better when helping children from the shelter, or people who affected the fire, we do it disinterested and do not wait for anything in response, but it's so nice to know that these people pray for you and your children. And more and no need. Therefore, not all thanks are ungrateful, but unfortunately the majority.
Do not appreciate the good those who are not accustomed to thanks. Everything goes from childhood. Another person even Thanks Language does not turn to say. People in the main mass of good deeds and acts take for due. But still expression do goodness; Does not imply in response the same good. A person should not expect that he will thank him for her good deeds. In this case, commodity relationships arise, you give to your dash; called. Do not seek goodness.
Man accepting any decision is guided by a rational approach or ethical. These approaches are opposed to each other. In nature, the aircraft is cruel, but rationally. The person, because of its development relative to other species, so the Sun complicated that there was a lot of all sorts of ethical concepts of the type of good and justice. Rationality, in my understanding - when a person receives something in return for his actions. Ethics - when a person deliberately does not benefit, this is a refusal to fight. Sacrificing something, each, thereby violates the natural laws of nature, ( slows, maybe it breaks with its fabrications a chain of causes and investigations, conceived by nature) And if you collect all these victims together, it will be the power that holds the human Society from self-destruction. When a group of people comes more often rationally, it, as a result, gets great opportunities, more influence, uses the enormous forces of nature and acts with them in unison. But at the same time they become hostages of the structure that they spawned. For example, the oligarchs - victims of capital. The victims in the sense that their entire essence is directed to the replication of pieces of paper. It is unlikely that any of them will become a scientist or man of art. Many of the crime, believe that life understood - and in fact only one of the possible ways e is. It turns out that our life is the flow of energy (Sun-\u003e plants-\u003e Animals-\u003e People-\u003e The meaning of people's life?). Once it started, one day will end. (The sun arose as a result of unimaginable space processes, and only a relative lull in our solar system created conditions for the development of complex structures, such as carbon forms of life), a rational approach accelerates this course, and it acquires a devastating nature. - can carry the aircraft on the swarm if it is not stopped (as a nuclear reaction). People call it evil. A ethical approach slows down this stream and is customary to call it good. (Slowed nuclear reaction - nuclear power plant, science, art, music) for example, in a military conflict, everything is rational, estimating risks, calculating the opponent's steps in advance, but in the end carry huge losses, often not Comparable with the benefit of victory. And only a compromise, when both sides donate part of interest leads to a quiet permission of the situation (calm stream). In the animal world, this is almost never found (the hungry predator will not give the victim to continue the existence of ethically condemned itself to death. It acts according to his instincts, according to nature. And people have cases of canibalism in a hopeless situation - this is a rational approach).
Returning to the promotion ... When we do kindness; - In fact, we often act precisely. We get something for this: recognition by society, awareness of their holiness, waiting for response (in the future) from this person. It's just that may be intangible things or Investment, what creates the visibility of the Delivery. Please do not be offended, but if you think your good is not appreciated, it looks like a situation where you did not comply with the terms of the contract and did not come to a mutual agreement regarding it)) You have fulfilled our part, and the partner may not know what you expect Instead. It is necessary to communicate more in such cases, explain its position, because many things are transmitted non-verbally (even if they are clearly not pronounced). Only holy people are capable of present (gratuitous). It sounds paradoxically, but for the real good, they receive suffering (due to the fact that they are against the laws of the universe) and the energy that they suspend, as if go on them.
So, if you do good, and feel that people do not appreciate you - there is nothing terrible in order to explain to a person the essence of your actions and expectations. If you don't care that a person did not thank you ( do good and throw it into water;), while all the troubles of the world fell on you - it is possible that you go dear saint and, I would not want to upset, but with such an approach Your affairs will only worsen)
this is the law of meanness. don't do a good man - you won't get evil
Good involves disinterestedness, sincerity, but people either do not trust, or are looking for a catch everywhere, or simply do not understand the meaning of the actions, and pay ungratefulness and evil. The fact is that help indulges people, creates, gives the feeling that it should be that it goes without saying, so why appreciate a person if he is so stupid, I will give him something nauseous.
People can be ungrateful themselves, with a worms, because evil on the whole world is incapable of creating good.
It seems to me that you are idealizing people and at the same time suffer from the fact that your thoughts about the behavior of people do not coincide with their real proceedings. Yes, unfortunately, people often behave not only non-profitably, but also tactlessly, shamelessly, brazenly, cynically. If you tend to sincerely help people, then you should not worry their response, let it stay on their conscience. And if you have to be offended by what you are paid to the chris ungratefulness, then no nerves are enough. Human weaknesses and disadvantages should be adopted and continue to create good things as their strength.
You know, you start doing something because yourself sincerely want to help, and not to tell you Thanks And they began to appreciate. Do not wait for this from people. There are people not grateful, well, and let. This is their conscience, and you live on your conscience.
Because they are, they will not pass through their stage of life, which would have taught to appreciate the good, which gives him an another person. But do not worry about these people, their life will definitely teach sooner or later. First on frivolous events, then more serious. Because a person must be grateful.
Good day Mary! I really like to watch your channel. I have such a situation: I (28 years old) 3 years ago I experienced the strongest mobbing at work on the part of the whole office, including the bosses. Before that, I was a completely sociable girl, but preferring to be one more than surrounded by people. A year after this situation, she lived in permanent apathy and depression, but was able to step over this by forgiveness of all offenders and taking the blame for himself, making it a living experience to extract his own mistakes, but still it left a huge imprint on my psyche. I began to work by freelancer, because I don't want to be in the team, I'm scared that you can do this again. Also, I began to beware of all new people, in everything I am looking for a catch that on their part can make me hurt again. Many are offended by me because I am distant. People reach me and I repulse them and I myself am anxiously. In me, you are struggling to protect yourself and the concept that it is impossible, it is impossible to hide all my life from people. And now I live in another country where you need to learn a new language and communicate with foreigners accordingly, which introduces me anxious even more and it prevents me from doing progress towards a new life. I do not know how to get out of this situation, please advise what you can do?
Hello, I already go around yes about, I think everything or not. I took advantage of the boarding school, so there was no one at home. And what does it mean good family I recognize in the course of life. My husband also had problems in the family. Dad drove everything into the cards. Mom plowed like a horse to pay a husband's debts. And my husband including from 14 years helped her in his work. So with my husband we agreed when I was 19, my husband was 22. I learned that I was pregnant, and since I studied in the last courses decided to live with his mother in her house. At the same time, I always said that I want to live separately. Mother-in-law is generally a separate topic. She is powerful woman, all the time says not straight and from under the korki, but at the same time terrible sludge. It can pass by and say that you have a child not combing or oh, you should wash the floors in the kitchen. At the beginning, I, as a loving daughter-in-law and the living on her territory went and did everything, although I have a baby across an hour ago, I washed the floors in the morning. So over time they just did a servant. They said you should do it, cook it, child to raise like this, go to the sea there. (Mother's mother-in-law did nothing at all). And try to say it no, she begins to be offended (begins to behave like a teenager, goes into the room and closes). At the same time, the cooling of it behaves as if nothing happened. And it does not matter what she offended someone. My husband sometimes complained, but he did not seem to. But at the same time I constantly said that it was time to move. We were tired of it, he began to explain that he still helps mom. And I believed as a fool. So we lived 10 years. In the summer, once again, I stated a conversation with my husband about moving, as usually ended with anything. The mother-in-law heard and let me explain that men are not so, and she knows better than and how we should live. Husband as usual sitting and listened quietly. It came to the point that the mother-in-law goes to work from the house not the light not dawn, and it also comes. This was comfortable for me, but they again forgot my opinion to ask. And if it is at home, then we can not be in the same room calmly. Already as 4 months do not speak. It sees my daughter that the worst thing. I undertake my husband, and as usual anyway. I said what I want, but we must move. Especially since they paid all debts. Now it turns out that he does not want to move (his mother has a private house, and it is very far from the entire infrastructure). To the question why, one answer "Why should I throw everything here?". I'm trying to explain that no one forces him to throw everything that he like a loving son should come to his mother and help her. What I will be fine in gave from his mom, that I fill nervous, worry. He seems to be starting to understand what I want to convey to him, but not through time he begins to turn his cassetue again. It is so more convenient that we have no money and all that. (We have a studio apartment) I try to explain to him that if you do not want to live in a studio apartment, we can sell it. Take a loan how much lacks and buy more. But this is also not an option for him. It came to the point that I put an ultimatum or his mother or me. Gave him a month to make decisions. Then I leave. Help how to be. I love him, but I can't live anymore. Perhaps I am wrong? I'm very tired.
hello. "The son married. Hinds separately." The son's sense of my life. I just had an emptiness. I can fill it with everything that might. I am not alone - in fact. My husband is good. Hopefully the daughter-in-law will be a close and native person. But there was a conflict - we have a complete not understanding. We absolutely do not understand and do not hear each other. I know that many mistakes were made and me and her. They did not communicate with each other. It is tormented. It is a shower and reminded to extremely in front of me to avoid conflict. I think that I managed a lot in my son's life. Dictated him what to do. The wife came across the same - tries to manage them. It is easier for him. If only to avoid quarrels. He loves her. I was already coming with this. I'm tired of this situation. Son says that his wife believes that she is in all right. I want to try to talk about souls. I want to start everything from a white sheet. I want a world for all. But the girl is capricious. ambitious. Slop-u. And the main thing is very much jealous of everything. The child has a single child and who has lived with a grandmother and grandfather up to 13 years old. She is all good. We are my son and me. How can I establish everything and not be rejected. ?
Why do men do not appreciate good and caring women. How many times did it notice ... 🤔. Is it a flaw? If a woman has a good heart, it does not mean that it is stupid or naive. She has everything - a career, rest, hobbies, she herself is a mistress. Such girls at some point come to the idea that they no longer want to change their lives.
A good girl seeks to find a partner for life, create a strong relationship. She is waiting for a meeting with a man who will become her best friend.
She is looking for someone who will take all her flaws and flaws, surroundings with love and care. Such a girl does not consider relations as a game, does not manipulate guys.
Good heart does not make it weak, it helps her forgive and give people a second chance.
In the surrounding it sees only good. Each person has the right to make a mistake - she considers it. We all did something that then bitterly regretted, the main thing that we made a lesson from this. Anyone has the right to start life from pure sheet.
A good girl is guided by not the rules, but intuition. She will not allow a man to point out how to live her, she loves himself as nature created it. She considers his kindness to be blessing over.
She knows that kindness sometimes brings more problems and worries than happiness, but does not change his attitude towards people.
She knows that the surrounding seems strange, as if not from the world of this, but she doesn't care, she is always a step ahead.
Her way is the path of spirituality. She trusts the universe and in every moment sees the blessing of heaven. In the most difficult situations, she remains loyal and their views.
Even if it is going to mock it, it will not pay evil for evil. Kindness is her weapon. How do you feel about girls who seem to others good, but do not find a couple?
Why cease to appreciate the faithful and decent people who are devoted to good wives and caring good husbands, responsible employees and honest companions? The answer you will find in this article ...
You will be responsible and good. Loving, caring and responsible. Every day you will do the same thing - good. Right. Make good actions and even feats maybe. First you will be admired, and then you are talking about you. Tarnish you and enjoy. And worship your flowers, good acts and even feats. Pies that you treat, come. And you will leave. We will leave those who so hotly praised you and admired you.
When you are always good and predictable, it is not good for you
This is because you are predictable. Monotonously predictable, you kind of sun, which heats and shines; But as a tiring of the eternal sun, as predictable its sunrises and goals. Who thanks the sun? Yes, no one in hot countries where it does not happen rain and cold. There from the Sun hide in the shade. And about the rain they write in newspapers as an unusual phenomenon. Amazing and long-awaited ...
When you are always good and predictable, it is not good for you. You kind of postman who comes at the same time - you stop notice. And appreciate stop.
And those who admired you, begin to dislike you. That's why:people tend to memorize the first emotions that you have called: delight, joy, admiration ... And then these emotions pass. And a person involuntarily compares his first admiration and the current indifference, suggesting. No, it was not he was killed. It is you to blame that you are so predictable, the correct one is very good. It is you guilty that no longer causing admiration. You are tired with your kind face and good actions; Fuck!
That's why cease to appreciate loyal and decent people. Devotees good wives and caring good husbands. Responsible employees and honest companions.All predictable boring and tires as the sun in the clear sky. You cease to see and hear: so cease to see the old clock on the shelf and hear their ticking.
One husband, faithful and responsible, the wife did not see and did not hear. And did not appreciate. And annoyed because of the colors, which he regularly gave. But at first there was so much joy and admirable care and responsibility of her husband.
Once this respectful husband got drunk at a meeting of classmates. The first and only time in life. He came home in the morning, broke the glass into the door, was intended to the floor, and the wife called "Edward Sergeyevich", although her name was shouted. So, after repentance and violent reconciliation, the relationship has been established. This is a bad behavior, but the wife saw an alternative to sobriety, colors and gifts. And ceased to perceive good as proper. It turns out, not everything is so predictable and monotonous. And the sun does not shine forever, it happens and rain, and the storm ...
Monotonous responsible and excellent behavior makes a man terribly boring. And the initial admiration is replaced by dislike: as if he stole the first emotions of delight. Where are you my emotions? Where is my admiration? How do you tired, kind and decent boring person!
Do not get drunk. But it is not necessary to be monotonous. Otherwise, they will treat, - as the old habitual clock in the corner that do not see, do not hear and do not appreciate. They are as if no. And only complete silence makes you remember about the clock; Oh, and they broke! Stopped ticking and time to show ... So the good man remembers when it is no longer there. When he made a variety of care ...
