A polite, modest, kind girl with self-esteem is a real reward for parents. Useful tips from WomanHit on how to achieve this
It's no secret that many women dream and see how they will have a daughter, and then they will make every effort to raise her, if not a princess, then at least a real lady. Men are also not lagging behind in this regard and, if a tiny girl appears in their family, they treat her in a special way - with trepidation. It is important to develop a sense of beauty in a child, which will lay the foundation for the development of femininity in the future.
If you have set your goal to give the girl all the best, necessary and necessary, one of the important points will be to master the rules of decency in society. To do this, try to be (or become) such a person yourself, because children, especially at an early age, take on the image of adults, copying them in everything. Show that people need to be treated with respect, be friendly and moderately responsive. Explain that if she attends events, she must fit in and look decent.
Especially important person In a girl’s life, her mother is her mother, so it is important for women who have a daughter to watch what kind of example she sets for the girl. Encourage her to cook or participate in other household chores. There's no need to get angry if things don't go smoothly. Even an adult doesn’t always succeed the first time. Show that her help is important to you and encourage her to participate in preparing dinner for the whole family. Having received your approval, the girl will begin to show more diligence and will definitely achieve success in the difficult housekeeping.
Pay attention to the games, try to take part in them and gently guide them. If you play mother-daughter, unobtrusively show the correct model of how to treat your family. The same requirements are imposed on dad, because the way he treats mom greatly influences the choice of a future companion.
Teach your girl to show compassion, the ability to empathize and help loved ones when necessary. And again, personal example is required. For clarity, get a pet and let the girl try to take on some of the pet care responsibilities.
It is also important to notice the child’s hidden talents as early as possible. Watch the girl - perhaps there are things for which she shows special zeal. It is worth considering that children's hobbies and interests change at a fast pace, so try to cover several areas of her interests so as not to miss one important one.
However, remember that a real lady can only grow up in an atmosphere of love and mutual respect. Just as a girl’s mother is an example of the woman she can become, so is her father the prototype of the man she will meet in the future. Start with yourself - and your girl will definitely become a lady.
Once upon a time, the ardent feminist Monica Wittig said: “Women are not born, they are made.” And no one will dare to argue with this statement. After all, a woman learns the ability to give warmth and affection, to love, to take care of her closest people, to dress with taste. early age, and the main helpers in this are loving parents.
Every girl, starting from 4 to 5 years old, tries to be completely like her mother. She imitates her in everything, imitates her gestures and gait. For the first time, interest in cosmetics. If a mother takes care of her appearance and regularly uses cosmetics, then the little girl will strive to put on a beautiful dress and powder her curious little nose.
A girl should be instilled with a love of beauty, and from infancy she should be surrounded by beautiful and delicate things: toys, clothes, jewelry, children's tables, desks, chairs, interior items.
But in a family where a woman performs men's work, threw her cosmetic bag into the far corner, the girl will grow up rude and sloppy. In the future, such a baby will prefer to dress in boyish clothes and have a short haircut. The girl will also strive to fulfill the role of a man in her own family.
WITH early years The baby should be instilled with a sense of pride that she was born a girl. The work of cleaning the house, washing, cooking should be perceived as an honor to care for your family. And in order to instill such feelings, the mother must show by her own example that all housework gives her pleasure.
You should never complain about your “cruel” female fate. IN otherwise the girl will perceive household chores as punishment from heaven. As the girl grows up, you should gradually assign her simple housework: dusting, watering flowers, walking the dog, etc.
In addition, doing household chores is much more interesting together. After all, you can sing your favorite song while washing. You can make it yourself while cleaning new element decor that will definitely decorate the interior of your home.
A small woman needs to be involved in purely feminine leisure activities. Surely mother and daughter will enjoy a shopping trip together or a trip to the hairdresser or beauty salon. Over a cup of tea with your favorite sweets, you can gossip from the heart about the boys you know. All these nuances are very important in raising a real woman.
However, not only the mother should be involved in raising the girl. A lot depends on a father’s attitude towards his daughter. Dad should praise his clever girl, while not forgetting to unobtrusively mention that she is female.
In addition, dad’s interest in what events are happening in the baby’s life plays a big role. Attending the first matinee in kindergarten, the daughter's performance at the school concert is very important for the little lady. At the same time, you should sincerely rejoice at the success of your baby.
Probably every mother sees in her daughter a little princess whom she always wants to protect. At the same time, each family has its own rules for raising a girl, but in the end they all come down to one result: raising a real woman.
Of course, modern psychology tells us all that each child is individual and each needs its own approach, its own upbringing. But still there is general tips for everyone that will help every parent. According to these rules for raising a girl It will really be possible to raise a real princess, develop in her all the necessary feminine qualities. So, let's study this topic more carefully.
So what are these rules that will help in raising your little princess?
beauty
Your task, as parents, is to convey to your child that she is very beautiful and attractive. After all, it is complexes about your appearance that can bring a lot of troubles and problems in the future, especially in your personal life. Therefore, no matter what appearance nature bestows on your child, remember that she is a beauty and most importantly, she should always hear this from your lips. It's self-confidence will help raise a real lady in her face.
Love
It is very important that she feels the love and support of her loved ones. You can’t let her doubt this for a minute. It is love that awakens all the most in a person. best qualities and character traits.
Prudence
From a very early age, it is necessary to convey to the girl that she must be prudent. She must understand that it is necessary to avoid anything that could harm her life, health, or reputation. It is also necessary to frequently have conversations about different situations, troubles that happened with people you know or about which you learned from the newspaper or television. That is, the child needs to be taught how to evaluate different situations and people, what to beware of, what to avoid, and how to act correctly in a given situation. Of course, you can’t predict everything and you can’t teach everything, but you will develop in her the correct behavior and perception of the outside world. After all, the main goal is to convey that all people are different and you need to understand who you can trust and who you can’t. And in all this, do not forget that by example correct behavior for her, her parents should become. If she sees that you have no problems, she will understand that you correctly analyze all situations and do the right things. Then you will become an authoritative example for her that needs to be imitated. Plus, in the future, they will come to you for advice and support, and this is very important.
Caring, sympathy
These two qualities are very important for every person, and especially for women. That is why, from an early age, instill in your daughter care and compassion for others. It is very important to teach her to care about people who need outside help. At the same time, do not be afraid that it will be difficult for her, let her take care of you when you are sick, for example, bring tea, cover you with a blanket. That is, she needs to make it clear that caring for those who are weaker than us or sick is an important and necessary mission. You cannot ignore someone's pain and grief. Also, do not be afraid to sharply pull back or make a stern remark if your daughter laughs at other people’s injuries. Let her understand that such behavior and attitude is unacceptable. But it is not enough to teach compassion and help, you also need to convey that this is necessary for those people who really need it. After all, many can simply take advantage of the kindness and mercy of another for their own benefit. That is, the girl must understand that these feelings cannot be allowed to be used by others.
Thrift
A woman is the keeper of the home, so it is her sacred duty to be able to cope with all household chores. In the family education of children, parents are simply obliged to teach them to do homework. From a young age, a girl understands that she should be like her mother, and therefore be able to do everything that she does. Therefore, when your daughter drags a stool to the sink to wash the dishes, do not stop this zeal in her. Of course, the quality of washing may be questionable, and a couple of plates may break, but she needs to learn everything from a young age. At the same time, be a mentor for your princess, tell her how to do everything correctly, if some work is difficult, do it together. Be sure to support her desire to be a housewife at a young age. So that later in adolescence there will be no problems with household responsibilities and order in the children's room.
Leadership
In kindergarten and primary school, girls take the lead, since it is known that physiologically boys are slightly behind. It is already with age that boys understand their physical superiority and turn the furrows of government onto themselves. In the meantime, if your baby shows in every possible way leadership skills, praise and support her for taking the initiative. All this will help her remain strong in the future, be able to cope with her difficulties and solve problems on her own. And it doesn’t matter whether she decides to be a business lady or a wife and housewife, in any case she must be able to defend her opinion and stand up for herself. After all, leadership, first of all, cultivates strength of spirit, gives confidence in oneself and one’s abilities. With such qualities, a girl will always be able to independently solve various problems and issues. More important point What you need to explain to your daughter is that it’s always easier to do everything collectively. That is, she should not become fixated on her leadership and her rightness, but she must be able to listen to other people’s opinions. After all, walking through life with your head held high, believing that only your own opinion is correct, will be very difficult.
If you manage to convince a girl under five years old that she is a princess, then in the future she will be able to convince the whole world of this - very fair words that you can’t argue with! If you want to raise a real lady, go for it. The future of your little beauty is solely in your hands!
Start with yourself
First of all, evaluate your own behavior impartially. What examples does your child observe every day? It is not surprising that your princess can grow up to be a scandalous person if you demonstrate quarrels and negative emotions in a colorful way.
It is very important that there is no swearing, swearing, or mutual insults in your home. At least in the presence of my daughter. Remember that the entire responsibility for what kind of person she will grow up to be lies entirely with you.
For example, we always talked to our universal favorite as an adult, an equal interlocutor. We tried to express ourselves elegantly and literary, without “weedy” words.
And she quickly learned this technique. Now teachers and all adults praise her for her creative and correct speech.
Censorship
Strictly censor the films and cartoons she watches and the games she plays. All sources of information should develop nobility, spirituality, intellectuality and other positive traits in your daughter.
It’s better not to leave her face-to-face with the TV, considering what’s on it now. The same goes for computers and other equipment. The function of an intelligent parent as an educator is to exercise caring control.
My niece really likes to watch Zomboyashchik, which is why I’m honestly not happy. I think when I have my own children, they will receive video information in strictly measured doses and only of the highest quality. No nonsense.
That’s why I don’t allow my niece to watch TV for a long time when I’m babysitting her. And I prefer that she be inspired by instructive programs, as well as soulful videos, instead of stupid cartoons and series broadcast on TNT and similar channels.
Personally, I don’t understand those parents and educators who do not filter the information sources on which the child grows up.
Comprehensive development
It is very important that your child develops into a multifaceted personality. To do this, accustom her to work from childhood, teach her the rules of etiquette, constantly give wise, useful tips and instructions, encourage her interest in creativity and knowledge in every possible way.
Not bad if with early childhood your baby will communicate with a wide circle of people, see a large number of wonderful places on the planet, meet many friends.
For example, since childhood, my niece has become accustomed to frequently changing locations and being in contact with a huge number of people. It seems to me that this is an excellent basis for further victories in life.
It is especially important to develop aesthetic taste in a girl. Let her draw, paint, and sculpt more often. Let her combine her outfits and choose her own clothes. Remember that all women raising a little lady must also be at their best.
It is especially important that your little one is not afraid of cameras and video cameras, and is always able to show herself in all her glory, bringing to the fore the advantages of her appearance.
Our girl loves creativity very much. And perhaps this is my merit. I spent a lot of time with her, watching creative processes, as well as conveying to her the importance of creation as a lifestyle.
Now she can’t decide whether to take vocal classes, go to art school or dance. But still she is more inclined to drawing.
I note that she draws in a very unique way. Or maybe a little genius.
Communication with boys
The future queen should not internalize any harmful stereotypes and prejudices, especially gender ones. Protect her from any chauvinism. Explain to her that people are different, and this does not depend on gender and other similar characteristics.
Our baby has never heard stupid and embittered generalizations from us. So now she evaluates people based on their personality traits.
Your task is to teach her to love and value herself as early as possible. Plus - give smart advice on how to properly contact young representatives of the stronger sex.
For example, we taught our princess not to be afraid of the opposite sex. She can independently take the initiative, for example, when making acquaintances, but she does not cross the line, that is, she avoids obsessive behavior.
“If you want to talk to a boy, come up and talk, but if he doesn’t crave communication, then don’t be upset and look for a new victim of your charm. And never humiliate yourself before anyone.” - my niece mastered these recommendations with five points.
And now almost all the neighbors and kindergarten boys are in love with her!)
In a word, if you intend to raise a true lady, try to take everything into account in advance and not make any mistakes anywhere.
To receive the best articles, subscribe to Alimero's pages.
After all, the girl will carry those qualities that will be brought up in her from childhood throughout her life and pass them on to her children in the future. We asked moms raising girls for advice on how they teach their princesses good behavior and self-care skills.
Princess Leonor Lilian Maria is the daughter of the Swedish Princess Madeleine | Facebook Princess Madeleine of Sweden
Appearance
Some may say that being a lady is not relevant in our time. Perhaps you will no longer meet knights and not everyone will get to the social reception. But being a lady is not a temporary phenomenon, it is a way of life that is absorbed with mother's milk and develops throughout the entire period of growing up. And receiving compliments and flowers as confirmation of her external and internal attractiveness is pleasant for any woman.
That is why the main teaching factor will be the personal example of the mother. If a mother is always neat at home, at work, and on walks, in clean, ironed clothes, with hair and makeup, the daughter will unconsciously try to copy her image and behavior.
Ekaterina, 28 years old, mother of Alice, 5 years old:
"I always try to watch my appearance, wherever I am. At home, no curlers, holey dressing gowns or stretched sweatpants. Of course, in our family we don’t dress up for dinner. Cocktail Dresses, but accuracy and neatness are required. I draw my daughter’s attention if it appears on clothes dirty spot, she must understand that this is ugly. Messy hair is not allowed. That is, if during active play the ponytails are unraveled, we are sure to straighten them. Alice herself comes and asks to do this. In addition, I try to instill taste in my daughter; we go to the store together to choose clothes. I explain what will go well with what and what should never be worn. I would like to convey to children’s minds that fashion and style are completely different concepts, I think this will be learned over time. And when the time comes, I’ll teach you how to use cosmetics in order to avoid ridiculous, funny situations when girls put on makeup in such a way that they don’t even look like girls.”
Behavior
Even the most Nice dress and an exquisite hairstyle will not produce an effect if the girl does not know how to behave in the company of other people. Introduce your daughter to the basics of etiquette and teach politeness. Don't be afraid that it will be difficult - children learn new information quite quickly. It is worth explaining to the girl as early as possible the importance of good manners, correct speech, and a smile.
Tirso Lecointere / Flickr / CC-BY-2.0
Maria, mother of Yulia, 4 years old:
“My mother is a teacher, so in our family it has never been customary to speak rudely or use obscene words. And now my mother is helping me instill in Yulia the skills of correct, competent speech. And I see that it is natural for a child to say this. Sometimes my daughter “brings” words from the street or from kindergarten, but we gently explain that these are bad words and well-mannered children should not say them. And Yulia understands this without swearing or slapping her lips.”
Elena, 30 years old, mother of Christina, 6 years old:
“When we were looking for a kindergarten, we chose the one that had etiquette classes. I think this is important for future woman– know how to behave correctly with others, at the table, in someone else’s house, how to receive guests, how to maintain a conversation. Children are distinguished from adults by their immediate reaction, but in right time manners must change. What was touching in a baby looks disgusting in an older child. Picking your nose, shouting, hysterics and whims are unacceptable, you cannot interrupt your elders, or talk with your mouth full. Children are taught this in classes. In kindergarten, they role-play situations, and in the form of a game, the assimilation of such non-childish information is easy and fun. Christina is already teaching us at home.”
Thrift
Nothing develops respect for work more than helping your mother around the house. Children begin to take initiative quite early, so don’t ruin this zeal. Let the cleaning take 2 hours longer, and the dishes will not be washed as thoroughly as you would like. You can always gradually correct shortcomings or divide responsibilities, but your little hostess will see how important her help is to mom.
Olga, 34 years old, mother of Olesya, 4.5 years old:
“My daughter got a toy iron, vacuum cleaner, and washing machine early. She, seeing how I did housework, first repeated the actions in the game, and then began to help me. For example, Olesya copes well with sorting laundry for washing, knows how to press program buttons on a real washing machine. We also wash the floor together. Of course, my daughter spills water more than she washes, but every time she does it better. When we cook, Olesya can stir eggs with flour for pancakes, chop vegetables under my supervision, and bread the chicken. A child can do these simple actions. And the moral benefits from them are even greater - now we litter much less, keep our clothes clean, and dishes prepared with the participation of our daughter are eaten with great enthusiasm.”
OakleyOriginals / Flickr / CC-BY-2.0
Leisure
An important role in raising a lady is played by what your daughter has a penchant for. It is believed that girls should engage exclusively in dancing, drawing or music. But this is a truly outdated idea of harmonious development. Of course, for a future woman it is important to understand literature, painting, cinema, to know foreign language. But in fact, girls are interested in much more; they can show abilities, for example, in wrestling, any other sport, or participate in a radio or car enthusiasts club. Watch your princess, take into account her wishes and help her express herself, because success in her favorite activity and the pride of her parents, like nothing else, increases the baby’s self-esteem and develops self-confidence.
Alena, 32 years old, mother of Sofia, 8 years old:
“When my daughter was born, I decided to make all my dreams come true in her. And from the age of 3 she began taking her to all available clubs - dancing, vocal and theater studios. At first Sonya liked it, but then the whims began. I couldn't understand what was going on. In the end we gave up everything. But when school started, Sonya, following the example of a classmate, wanted to study in the pool. Unexpectedly, abilities that we didn’t even suspect about revealed themselves! My daughter wins competitions and is even a candidate for the future Olympic swimming team. The main thing is that it was her choice; Sonya takes her classes very seriously and already knows how to organize her day. I think these qualities will greatly help her in the future.”
Social status
In play, a child learns about life. By transferring real situations into his children's entertainment, the child, as it were, gets a taste of what it means to be an adult.
The most common toy for girls is still a doll. Manipulating them allows you to prepare for future motherhood, but girls benefit from toys of various types - cars, puzzles, animals, doctor's kits, cook's kits, etc. After all, modern world The woman is not only a wife and mother, she also drives a car, works as a veterinarian, conducts research, and even serves in the army. Explain in childhood how to play this or that role, and then, as an adult, your daughter will experience much less doubt when choosing a life path.
Irina, Veronica's mother, 5 years old:
“Girls love different toys. And this is their fundamental difference from boys: girls can love to play with boys’ toys - cars, guns, and this is considered normal, while boys playing with dolls evoke strange emotions. Nevertheless, it is in games with dolls that girls “rehearse life” - future motherhood, social roles. With dolls Veronica does everything that I do with youngest child: she bathes them, puts them to bed, takes them for a walk in a stroller. Barbie dolls allow you to play games adult life. And here I often observe our home situations. It's interesting to look at our family from the outside. Sometimes I notice unpleasant moments that real life were not noticed, but in my daughter’s game they floated out. Then I take note of where we, parents, should behave differently. I think such games are useful for both children and adults.”
But do not forget that from a medical point of view, the duration of watching TV is 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening.
Nadezhda, 26 years old, mother of Valeria, 3.5 years old:
“My husband and I never paid attention to the age marker. Every year we bought Lera books and construction sets for three-year-olds. It seems to me that this is why, at two years old, my daughter could easily distinguish almost all letters and numbers. Educational cartoons also provide great help. Lera learned concepts such as “closer - further”, “higher - lower”, “more - less” and others quite early. And she also began to speak well in detailed sentences early. Now she has already developed an evaluative attitude towards many things and situations, she understands which cartoon character behaves well and which one behaves poorly. Of course, TV does not replace books and live communication, but still it is a great help. Some questions are explained there better than we, parents, could do. Sometimes I even eavesdrop. advice and ideas from educational programs, and then I use them when the opportunity arises.”
You can describe the qualities required by future ladies as much as you like. But whatever you do, don't forget to love your princess. Tell your daughter how important she is to you, how beautiful, smart and, most importantly, unique she is. Develop individuality, because it is this quality that develops personality. In an atmosphere of love and mutual understanding, it will be easier for your daughter to make the right decisions for her, and the task of parents is to guide and prompt in time.
