Sooner or later, parents may be unpleasantly surprised to hear words from their child that are completely inappropriate for children. There are many places where you can hear swearing: street, kindergarten, school, TV, Internet, even at home. As you know, any child absorbs any information like a litmus test, and bad words are no exception.
We refer insults, rudeness, obscene language to bad words. If a child has begun to use slang expressions that are essentially neutral, this is already a wake-up call for parents. The vocabulary of children develops with them at a very fast pace, so it is important to notice negative inclusions in your child's speech in time.
Why the child began to swear and swear, and how to wean him from this, we will figure it out together.
Age
Depending on the age of the child, the use of swear words may be conscious or completely meaningless. Until the age of 5, a child may not understand what this or that word means, causing horror and indignation among mom and dad. Hearing a curse somewhere and seeing the reaction of those around him, the baby may try to use it, but not understand what he said, and how to use this word in general. From the beginning, the baby does not even understand that this is bad.
You should not react too sharply to the child’s first attempts at foul language, he is now looking at your reaction, trying a new model of behavior on himself. Your correct tactic is to calmly explain to the baby that you can’t say bad words, educated intelligent people don’t express themselves like that, and no one in your family talks like that and won’t.
After five years, a child is characterized by the development of moral and aesthetic qualities, children of this age already understand well what behavior is considered the norm in society, both children and adults. Using obscene and abusive language, the child most often already pursues some goal, although he may not yet fully understand the meaning of “strong” expressions.
In this case, in addition to a calm conversation with the child, find out why he needs it and act on the basis of this knowledge.
Attention
The reason for a child's foul language may be a banal lack of attention from loved ones. If your child is trying in every possible way to attract attention to himself by asking to play, demonstrating his achievements, crafts, drawings, stories about his life, friends, but you do not respond, the child will choose a different path. He will begin to swear and you, willy-nilly, show interest. The result will be achieved, despite your negative reaction.
like an adult
In the life of children, the period very quickly comes when they want to grow up faster, everywhere they imitate their parents, older brothers and sisters. In kindergarten or school, a child can also have a friend, an informal leader, whom the child wants to be like. And if the "person-idol" uses "bad" words, swears, then the child begins to imitate him in order to appear more mature, as if generating self-confidence and strength. Children tend to idealize the person they like. If in general the image is positive, then everything that this person does is good. In the team of peers, idols are physically strong guys, leaders, rebels.
Tell your child that no matter how good this or that person is, swearing does not paint anyone, no matter who he is. Explain that success and leadership have nothing to do with swearing and humiliating other people, on the contrary, a cultured and decent person will certainly achieve more in life.
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The subject of imitation can be a movie hero, the hero of a video clip on the Internet. Psychologists around the world unanimously talk about the dangers of programs and films that are not suitable for children by age, so you should listen to the competent opinion of experts and choose the right film industry products for your child, as well as control the interests of the child on the World Wide Web. You should not make these actions manic, so that the child does not stop feeling free, having the right to choose.
Personal example
Almost all children whose parents swear and use foul language also begin to use swear words. Close people are the most important example for the growing child. Try never to use obscene expressions in your speech, do not humiliate or call names either to each other, even in a quarrel, or especially to a child. Talk to older children, let them also understand that they are role models, and should follow their speech and behavior.
If your child has already witnessed how you swear and say “bad” words, admit that you did badly, that you did not want to offend anyone, and in the future you will never do that again. Keep your word.
How bad
It happens that a child begins to swear and call names when his self-esteem drops greatly. Poor grades at school, pranks for which he is scolded all the time, losing in competitions, lack of success in creativity or sports - all this greatly affects the child's self-esteem. When everyone around them repeats that he is bad, that he does not succeed, the baby begins to act like a bad one, as if fulfilling the public promise and mood. It is in your power to make it clear to the child that he is respected and appreciated, that if he has mistakes in any areas, then there will certainly be achievements in others. Pay attention to attempts to improve yourself, praise and support your child in every possible way.
Revenge
The foul language of a child may be associated with a desire to avenge an insult, coercion from loved ones. They forced you to go to the doctor, didn’t let you go for a walk, didn’t let you watch an adult movie - get a “strong” word. In this case, the child understands that this is unpleasant for parents, which becomes an incentive to say so. Various situations in the family have a great influence on the child: divorce, showdown, relatives moving to you, etc. The child begins to express himself obscenely, protesting against uncomfortable and unpleasant situations for him.
You, as parents, should talk with the child and find out the reasons for the offense, eliminate, if possible, the trouble, explain why you did it this way and not otherwise. Talking about “bad” words is also necessary so that the child can realize that he, as a successful and cultured person, does not need to swear.
team
In order not to be a black sheep in the company of peers, distinguished by obscene language, the child may also begin to express himself. Make it clear to the child that such behavior will not lead to success, that a team where swearing is considered the norm is not worthy of attention and imitation. Explain that all difficulties can be overcome without scolding, and leadership can be achieved by being cultured.
A few extra tips
If you set a goal - to wean your child to swear and swear, be firm. Speak clearly and clearly, your firm "no" should not be violated. Show indignation and disgust at “bad” words, talk about the consequences and possible grievances of friends and relatives. Look after yourself and your family members, do not allow swearing from the guests. Talk to the child on an equal footing, do not punish or humiliate, turn the conversation so that the child can draw conclusions himself, and does not think that you are imposing your opinion on him. Moms take note!
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