Ten types of betrayal of a man. The guy betrayed me, I don’t want to live What to do if the guy betrayed you

So many guys and so few real men.

I'm annoyed by these guys who go around and pretend to be men. In fact, I recently lost a potential relationship because of them. These "false - Men" managed to "light up" in front of women, deceive them, betray and kill their faith in the powers that be. There are not so many representatives of the weaker sex left who can still believe men.

I've never been dishonest with women before. And I never even had such a desire. But, unfortunately, I met very few women who would believe me in this life. I am sure that I am not the only man who has faced a similar problem in his life.

I believe that quite a lot of great guys are forced to bear the burden of "Betrayal and Faith in the Beloved Person", which was put on them by the ex-boyfriends of their chosen ones. When a man betrays a woman, she will never be able to trust him again. Never is by no means an exaggerated concept, it is a real "Never". Unfortunately, this will also affect the next chosen one of this woman.

After a betrayal, a woman cannot move away for a long time. She then for many years will not be able to trust men. A real man never betrays. Here's the reason why it doesn't:

1. A real man is emotionally stable.
We all know that women have trouble controlling their emotions. To be honest, sometimes it's even worse for men. While women "Emotion" and blow off steam, men "boil" in their own thoughts.

But all this happens until the cup of patience of a man overflows, and he does not explode. When something goes wrong in a relationship, women can boldly scream, cry, complain, reproach, get angry, silence or starve. But men are different! Weak men pretend that they do not care about everything that happens around them.

But, when their cup of patience overflows, they look for means to splash out their emotions. They start drinking, smoking, fucking everything that moves. And, unfortunately, such a period of silent war with his beloved woman leads to the fact that he begins to sleep with everyone.

A real man deals with his emotions in a different way, more restrained.

2. A real man has enough willpower to keep "His Household" in his pants.
Sorry gentlemen for saying this out loud, but if you are a man, you will naturally sleep with any beauty you meet along the way. I'm talking about bachelors now.

Thus, if you are a real man, then you will not risk a stable relationship for a few minutes of pleasure with an unfamiliar woman with whom you have developed some kind of chemistry and nothing more. In the event that you want to sleep with someone, then why not do it with a woman who loves you!

Only if sex with your partner bored you a little, then diversify it. Both are involved in this process, so, for example, if she does not lick the cream off you, then lick the cream off her yourself.

3. Real men don't date people they don't love, or don't even believe they can love one day.
Of course, we've all dated someone we weren't in love with. I generally don't believe in love at first sight, but cases are different. However, a large number of guys still date women just for the sake of convenience.

Why go out and look for someone when there is one who can always come herself! Real men understand that women are not toys, and do not perceive them simply as a way to satisfy their needs.

When men know that they can't love this woman, they end the relationship instead of dragging it out in the hope that she can be their second choice.

4. A real man is always respectful.
People trust when they see respect in their direction. It is respect that is an obligatory aspect of communication, especially in relation to the woman you are dating. Change is a lie. It kills trust and shows that you do not take into account the feelings of your partner, friend and just a person who has been next to you for a certain period of time.

There is nothing worthy in treason, this is not done with loved ones. Thus, if a woman stops believing in you, then this is final and irrevocable. I came to this conclusion by going through a long and difficult road of error of my own.

5. A real man does not keep a list of his sexual partners. He does not need this to feel and understand himself as a real man.
A real man knows for sure that he is a man. It is felt in his every movement, deeds. And he doesn't do anything special for it. He doesn't need to expose himself. All this is reflected in his actions.

So many men in today's society believe that the more sexual partners they have, the better they are as men. Women are like a game for them, like a kind of commodity that needs to be collected.

Women are not toys! And the game we all play is called Life. Betrayal is sometimes too expensive, and at high stakes, you can even ruin your life.

6. A real man will never harm the woman he loves.
I'll be honest with you, a real man will not offend any of the women. A real man takes care of himself and all those who are close and dear to him.

In the event that you are already lucky enough to meet the woman you really love, and you have not managed to lose her, then do everything possible and impossible to make her smile. There is nothing worse than losing someone you love so much. Mistakes are mistakes, but there is such a thing as forgiveness.

7. A real man always knows what's really important in life - and it's definitely not casual sex.
Men are too busy pursuing their dreams. They are all the time in achieving what they want out of life. At the same time, they objectively realize what they want from life.

As men, we want the best from the world and the people around us. And only when we get what we wanted, comes the realization that in fact, not the best ways were chosen to achieve our goal. I mean, it's really cool when you have one woman with you, but you love it. Quantity doesn't matter here, quality matters.

Being around a woman who loves you and accepts you with all your flaws is what really matters. The rest you don't even want to remember.

8. A real man will always have the courage to break off relations with a woman.
If you decide to cheat on your woman, then you no longer want to be with her. Take courage and end the relationship. You will still do it sooner or later. Break this bond, break out of this maze. Act like a man, don't act like a coward.

A real man

Masculinity. Indeed, it is thanks to her that a man can be called a man, since a courageous person combines strength of mind, nobility, honor and courage. So a man with this quality is quite close to the medieval image of his worthy ancestors.
Courage. A man should be not just brave, but doubly brave: for himself and for his woman. So that expression, which I told you about at the very beginning, that today's men are crushed, just refers to courage, since some now very often hide behind the backs of their wives or "mommies."
A responsibility. Previously, life was much easier, and, consequently, there was less responsibility. He killed the beast, brought the prey and again to hunt: here is an approximate "schedule" of an ancient average husband. It seems, and only “business”, not like now! Yes, a man has much more responsibility in the modern world. It is necessary not only to be able to feed and protect your family, but also to think with your head where necessary. And this work, I tell you, is not easy.
Honesty. Unfortunately, only a few representatives of the stronger sex have this wonderful quality. What kind of honesty can we talk about if men even deceive their wives! Of course, the main thing is to be honest with yourself and with your conscience.
However, now this is all very easily solved, since some people have no conscience at all.
Decency. To some extent, this is a synonym for honesty, therefore it is a rather rare quality among the male population of our planet. It is almost impossible to imagine a 100% decent man, because he must love, feed and protect his family, not cheat on his wife with other women, respect the elderly, never deceive anyone and not commit shameful acts. Yes, such an image is most likely a utopia. Do you know such a man? Really? It must be immediately delivered to the museum as a rare and valuable antique.
Diligence. You can't even catch a fish from a pond without effort. It's right. A man should not be lazy, because on his shoulders lies the care of the family, and the main income, and many household chores that a woman is not able to handle on her own. Of course, there are now “instances”, which, alas, are becoming more and more, preferring an empty pastime on the couch in front of the TV with a can of beer or, worse, a glass of something stronger than diligence.
Kindness. This is an essential quality of every standing man, especially if he has a family. It is impossible to engage and educate children without a good attitude, otherwise, WHAT will come of them in the future?
One of the signs of kindness is love for animals and respect for old age. So pay attention to your new acquaintance (if you have far-reaching plans for him), how he relates to "mustache and striped" and how he speaks about his parents or grandparents. Thus, you can easily calculate his real "mask".

A woman betrays easily. If a man does not understand this at least with age, then the consequences of such naivety for him will be extremely difficult.

In the morning, she holds your hands, looks into your eyes and swears (swears!) That she will never leave, will not betray, will not change. And asks you not to leave. That she just can't take it. No not like this. That it simply does not exist without you. She simply does not exist - if you are not with her.

And in the evening she gives herself to another. And calmly tells you about it.

Why? Is there a difference - why?

A man perceives betrayal as an offense, a crime, a sin. Even if he cheats, he blames himself in his soul. And he blames so much that it is noticeable even in his behavior. This is how women guess about the betrayal of a man - by the outward signs of self-flagellation.

A woman perceives betrayal in a completely different way. For her, it's about the same as putting on these shoes today, and those tomorrow. Well, who in their right mind would think that the shoes would be offended? What hurts them? What do they love? Trust and trust?

A woman betrays not because she wants to betray. No, sometimes that's why, but most often it's quite the opposite. She betrays casually, by chance. Without even noticing that she had just betrayed the person who trusted her. This is the reason why a woman will never admit to betrayal and will not even admit that she betrayed. She just didn't notice it. How did you betray? Did she betray? A woman betrays petty and cruel.

For a woman, there is no concept of "betrayal" as such. I gave myself to another - well, yes, so what? New love. It not only removes, levels out all previous obligations - it seems to format the hard drive.

So when a woman talks about "obligations" in a relationship, she means you and only you. For her, all obligations end as soon as a new "love" breaks out. Or the old one will end.

Moreover, this often does not depend on the age of the woman, or on the educational level, or on income. 16-year-old virgins and 45-year-old experienced ladies, philological virgins and vocational schools, poor students and rich business women. No difference. What does it depend on? Yes, God knows. If you are trying to find a category where the possibility of betrayal will disappear, then you are wasting your time. And what is the worst - a series of very painful disappointments awaits you. Because the destruction of hopes is the most painful thing that happens in life. The maximum that can be done is to reduce this probability. But don't completely rule it out.

If you have a woman, you should know this.

In the morning she moaned loudly under you, demanded more and more. And in the evening SMS: "We must part."

Yesterday she dreamed and fantasized how you would spend the weekend together in nature, and on Friday she just left with another.

She is a loving wife and mother of three children. And today you get a subpoena to divorce court. And in a day you lose your children, apartment and future income.

Before you get there, you're walking through a minefield. And each new explosion will tear you apart.

And if you got a faithful woman - take care of her. There are too few of them to throw around.

Alexander Biryukov

It is believed that men cheat more often than women. And although many ladies cheat on their partners, the latest statistics still show that the representatives of the strong half of humanity are more likely to be unfaithful. According to information collected in 2017, 22% of married men admitted to cheating, while 14% of married women said they had affairs on the side. And although these numbers are quite low, they are still too high when it comes to comfort in many families.

There is never a significant reason for betraying a partner or justification. But the reasons for betrayal are sometimes surprising. And if you know them, then you can try to prevent adultery and save the marriage.

GettyImages

After the column about male betrayal, I received several more or less indignant questions from men: why don’t women betray, don’t do nasty things, don’t get out of the world?

I sadly inform you that meanness and violence are practiced by both sexes in an excellent way, and the difference between them is only in methods.

Let's start with the fact that women cheat as often and tastefully as men: should these herds of "lustful goats" fornicate with someone? It is unlikely that a million males sin with a thousand prostitutes, while 999,000 pure angels watch in horror. In every male crime against marriage, there is an accomplice who is morally responsible for her decision to sleep with a married man. Moreover, it is much easier for a girl to get stuck in an adventure. If a man needs to take the initiative to get sex, a lady just needs to nod in time.

Women are indeed less likely to leave their family in difficult situations, for example, in the event of a spouse’s illness: we are too compassionate for this and too focused on caring for weak family members. But the routine is hard to endure, so some get a romantic outlet just for the sake of courtship, gentle letters and walks. Then, as was said, she casually nodded. Then she fell in love and, as an emotional being, she could not hide, she made sudden movements. There is something vampiric about male horns: for the time being they are not reflected in the mirror. But one day, oops, they appear in all their glory, and most often because the wife herself pointed her finger and showed. During the period of falling in love, a funny moral rejuvenation takes place, a woman becomes younger, honest, uncompromising, so for some reason she definitely needs to confess to her husband and destroy the marriage.

However, in order to turn family life into hell, it is not at all necessary to change or leave, there are more virtuous and conservative (in the sense, non-surgical) methods. It is enough to learn the phrase "I'm a girl, I can."

Not all, but many ladies are sure that a Woman Has the Right - no, not civil, it did not give up for such a gift, but a certain moral right - to emotional unbridledness.

“Don’t yell at me,” the gentle creature squeals, “how dare you raise your voice at the Girl!”

“I’m a woman, I’m hysterical,” the venerable matron beats her chest, “and you must endure and be silent, you’re a Man!”

In their opinion, a Woman can yell, slap, spit poison, make scenes, including public scenes, spend money pointlessly, run away into the night, get into someone else's mail, throw a laptop out of the window and much more, in short - everything. A man is obliged not only to endure, but also to yield, otherwise he is a completely insensitive creature, while the lady suffers!

So, the first two whales of this worldview - A girl is allowed, a man is obliged. After all, the specific properties of Zh.: emotionality, vulnerability and tenderness, and the basic advantages of M.: reliability, honesty and caring. Hmm, when you write this, it's not even clear what's wrong.

The third whale, as well as the perfect tool of blackmail, is called "For the sake of the child." For the sake of the Child, the Man is obliged to endure even more than what he was already obliged by his masculine nature. Because children are sacred. He must endure everything and more, so as not to injure them with scandals (if mom yells, this is normal, she, see above, is emotional and tender, but dad sets a bad example). He has no right to leave their mother and feel like an honest person after that. He not only has to endure, he has to rejoice. The father of the family is a loving terminator who generates money, care and positive emotions. In any other case, he is a scoundrel.

I exaggerate, but in general this concept is easy to accept, it seems logical and physiologically reinforced: we are fragile, they are strong, we are quivering, they are goats ... energetic.

The problem is that this system does not imply equal rights and obligations for two Adults, does not stipulate the responsibility of each individual for his fate and his actions - regardless of what form of his genitals and what hormones prevail in the blood. No one should be a puppet in the hands of his nature; that is, of course, we all happen, but it’s worth at least trying. No need to look up to a stupid knight or a fitful princess, otherwise you will inevitably turn into a dragon. Simply - a man, simply - reasonable, and it's absolutely fine if he's good.

Video Betrayal. What to do? Why is everyone betraying me?

Statuses and quotes about the betrayal of a man

Some of the most bitter and painful are statuses about the betrayal of a loved one. There is no disappointment stronger than the betrayal of the one whom he considered relatives and friends, on whom he had high hopes and believed with all his heart and soul ... Unfortunately, there are a lot of statuses written on this sad and exciting topic, our expectations do not always coincide with the real twists of fate . And such statuses can help in a difficult period of mental anguish and resentment to maintain self-control, not to lose faith in people who know how to appreciate what they have.

On the heart of another scar from your betrayal, my love. But don't worry about me, the wound has healed, and I'm alive again.

All men are capable of betrayal. Everyone except my father. At least he didn't let me down.

I again and again step on this rake of betrayal of a loved one. It's good that this time they broke my rose-colored glasses, which hid the lies and hypocrisy of others.

Be careful when you see doubt, worry, and fear. They are the most faithful companions of betrayal, who come a little earlier than their companion.

Best Status:
It is foolish to be afraid of friends, you can only expect betrayal from them. It is foolish to be afraid of enemies, they can only kill. Be afraid and avoid the indifferent. They are the main cause of worldly evil. With their silence and indifference, they cause more pain than cataclysms.

If a man is successful, then the woman helped him with her love. If a woman is successful, then a man helped her with his betrayal.

You can always forgive the betrayal of a loved one, but whether this person will remain loved is a question.

Is it possible and necessary to forgive the betrayal of a loved one

Without understanding and not listening to the version of the other side, break off relations, but after a while, waking up, they want to return the half back.
There are marriages where the question: is it possible to forgive infidelity is not even considered. They simply turn a blind eye to betrayal and live according to the principle of "walk and return."
Others endlessly believe and hope that the betrayal was the last time. The infidel, in turn, swears allegiance to the grave, but then again does the same thing.
For still others, adultery becomes an incentive to work on oneself (both externally and spiritually). The injured party does not take on the role of the victim, but is actively engaged in the restoration of the family, which in the end it succeeds.
Still others file for divorce, despite a one-time mistake, small children, etc. As a result, they find a second husband / wife and live happily with them.
And there are those: they forgive the misconduct, they themselves beg the unfaithful not to leave them, and after a while they realize that they cannot live with the humiliation experienced - the traitor constantly reminds of him with his presence.

What to say to a man who betrayed. The man who offended

If a man offended, then do not express your anger and resentment in a letter. It’s better to just say that his act hurt a lot and became the reason for the breakup.

An example of a letter to an offender:

"Hi, dear! I decided to write you a farewell letter in prose. I don't have enough mental strength to write a letter in verse. I spent all my strength on stopping the tears that I shed through your fault. I decided to put an end to our difficult relationships.

Everything that was between us is gone! There are no more feelings that burned before, no respect for each other, no care and understanding. We have become completely different people!

It is worth admitting that we ourselves have destroyed and trampled on our feelings. I don't want to live like this anymore. I made a decision that will only make it better for both of us! We need to part, our paths diverged.

Hello my dear readers. Sometimes things happen in life that make it hard to come to terms with. It's especially hard if you didn't expect it at all. In this state, it is very easy to become depressed, lose interest in life, become apathetic and insecure. Therefore, today I would like to talk about what to do if you have been betrayed by a loved one.

defensive position

It is not always possible for a person to predict a bad event. Usually hope for a positive outcome. Especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I doubt that when a young man meets a girl, falls in love, they have an affair, he thinks every day before going to bed: well, when will she stick a knife in my back?

People want to be happy and that is why they do not expect bad things. Except for those who have already stumbled upon betrayal several times. I have a friend who, in principle, does not trust people. As a child, his parents abandoned him, then his best friend took his wife away, and the second wife ran away with all the common savings. Today he takes a defensive stance. Like, you don’t trust anyone, you don’t expect anything good from anyone, which means that they can’t hurt either.

There is also an opposite example in my practice. One woman from time to time stumbles upon wicked men. One beat her, the other stole money, the third almost managed to deprive her of the apartment, and so on. Each new lover is worse than the last. But she continues to believe and hope for a miracle.

To be honest, both of these options are not the most acceptable cases for a happy future. One has closed and can easily miss its fate, and the second continues to ignore some elementary clues that a person is not the most honest.

A happy person is somewhere in the middle between these two examples. He trusts people, but doesn't let them get too close at first. And he follows up very well. After all, it is actions that speak about a person, not his words.

Revenge is served cold

I have never been a supporter of vindictive people. To be honest, I never took revenge myself and did not advise anyone to do this. Of course, it is very difficult to be in a situation of betrayal, the soul hurts, an endless stream of tears, you wake up at night because you start to suffocate.

But for me it was never a reason to take revenge on a person. Especially if I loved him or still love him. Of course, you can say a lot about emotion, everything breaks inside and sometimes you just want to hit a person well.
I believe that there are more interesting ways to show a person that everything is fine with you and thereby prick him harder.

One of my friends was the victim of betrayal by the man she loved. He left her for a younger one, although they were about to get married. She was in a very dangerous condition for a month that her sister came from another city to live with her. And one fine day I woke up and realized that I wanted to continue living, that I wanted to find my happiness.

She got a job, changed her wardrobe, became a regular in beauty salons, and six months later she was unrecognizable. It was a real one that struck men with its beauty on the spot. And then one day we were sitting in a restaurant, celebrating the birthday of a mutual friend, when suddenly, out of nowhere, our former beauty flashed on the horizon. He came up to say hello with stunned eyes. He asked to meet, but she answered with a categorical refusal. So, he still calls her and begs for a meeting.

Here, in my opinion, is the best example of something to prove to your offender. Girls, let the man you love see you happy, beautiful, in love with life and greatly regret that he left you then. The same story will easily play into the hands of young people. Revenge concentrates you on the object of betrayal, freezes you in this state and does not let go.

Forgiveness

Forgiving someone who betrayed you is very difficult. Sometimes I would even say that it is impossible. But over time, peace comes and at this moment it is very important to let go of the situation and live on. I'm not talking about the forgiveness you give a person and take it back. No. I'm talking about your inner forgiveness.

First, forgive yourself. For the fact that such a catastrophe occurred in your life, that you fell for the tricks of a traitor, that you did not notice, perhaps, obvious facts. Forgive yourself and let yourself move on.

Second, forgive the person who offended you. For yourself, inside. Forgive him and let him go. Let him live with this feeling. Don't take on all this negativity. This is probably the hardest one. And that moment does not come very soon. Time should pass, you will calm down, emotions will subside and then you can forgive.

Think about yourself first. To punish a traitor is the work of fate, life and chance, not yours. Your task is to make your life happy, filled, harmonious and the way you want. It doesn’t matter if you are a girl or an adult man, a woman with children or a youth, be sure that you still have your whole life ahead of you and you will meet so many interesting things along the way.

If you feel that you cannot cope and cannot find answers to important questions - we will analyze the situation together and find a solution.

What to do

But when such a story happened, you always ask yourself: how to survive this? To be honest, it all depends on you. If you want to solve the situation, you will definitely find a way to do it. I sometimes think that people like to suffer too much. Especially in our country.

Remember that you can always turn to a specialist for help. If you understand that you are starting to get stuck in this story and cannot cope on your own, then a good psychologist will definitely help you. It will help to survive the initial stage, when the world is falling apart, to reach a new level, and in addition, to become a happy person.

In addition, you can throw yourself into work. Relaxing is a good option. When your head is busy with other things, then you simply have no time to think about what happened. But remember that after work you will come home, where there will be walls and you. And that's where all these thoughts can catch up with you.

It is very important for a person to speak out. If you have good ones, they can always listen to you and give you advice that might help you. The less time you spend alone in the beginning, the less chance you have of getting lost in your own thoughts on the subject.

If you are currently in a difficult situation, you have been betrayed and you do not know what to do, contact me for help. Together we will cope with any situation, overcome all the troubles and reach a new level. You will become a happy, contented and joyful person.

I am sure that everything in your life will be wonderful. Patience and strength!

Good reasons why a real man will never betray the one he really loves

So many guys and so few real men.

I'm annoyed by these guys who go around and pretend to be men. In fact, I recently lost a potential relationship because of them. These "false men" managed to "light up" in front of women, deceive them, betray and kill their faith in the powers that be. There are not so many representatives of the weaker sex left who can still believe men.

I believe that quite a few great guys are forced to bear the burden of "betrayal and faith in a loved one" that the ex-boyfriends of their chosen ones have placed on them. When a man betrays a woman, she will never be able to trust him again. Never is by no means an exaggerated concept, it is a real “never”. Unfortunately, this will also affect the next chosen one of this woman.

After a betrayal, a woman cannot move away for a long time. She then for many years will not be able to trust men. A real man never betrays. Here's the reason why it doesn't:

1. A real man is emotionally stable.
We all know that women have trouble controlling their emotions. To be honest, sometimes it's even worse for men. While women "emotion" and blow off steam, men "cook" in their own thoughts.

A real man deals with his emotions in a different way, more restrained.

2. A real man has enough willpower to keep "his household" in his pants.
Sorry gentlemen for saying this out loud, but if you are a man, you will naturally sleep with any beauty you meet along the way. I'm talking about bachelors now.

If you are a real man, then you will not risk a stable relationship for a few minutes of pleasure with an unfamiliar woman with whom you have some chemistry and nothing more. If you want to sleep with someone, then why not do it with a woman who loves you?!

If sex with your partner bored you a little, then diversify it. Both are involved in this process, so, for example, if she does not lick the cream off you, then lick the cream off her yourself.

Why go out into the street and look for someone when there is one who can always come herself?! Real men understand that women are not toys, and do not perceive them simply as a way to satisfy their needs.

When men know that they can't love this woman, they end the relationship instead of dragging it out in the hope that she can be their second choice.

4. A real man is always respectful
People trust when they see respect in their direction. It is respect that is an obligatory aspect of communication, especially in relation to the woman you are dating. Change is a lie. It kills trust and shows that you do not take into account the feelings of your partner, friend and just a person who has been next to you for a certain period of time.

There is nothing worthy in treason, this is not done with loved ones. If a woman stops believing in you, then it is final and irrevocable. I came to this conclusion by going through a long and difficult road of error of my own.

So many men in today's society believe that the more sexual partners they have, the better they are as men. Women are like a game for them, like a kind of commodity that needs to be collected.

Women are not toys! And the game we all play is called life. Betrayal is sometimes too expensive, and at high stakes, you can even ruin your life.

6. A real man will never hurt the woman he loves.
I'll be honest with you, a real man will not offend any of the women. A real man takes care of himself and all those who are close and dear to him.

If you are already lucky enough to meet the woman you really love, and you have not managed to lose her, then do everything possible and impossible to make her smile. There is nothing worse than losing someone you love so much. Mistakes are mistakes, but there is such a thing as forgiveness.

Being around a woman who loves you and accepts you with all your flaws is what really matters. The rest you don't even want to remember.

8. A real man always has the courage to break off relations with a woman.
If you decide to cheat on your woman, then you no longer want to be with her. Take courage and end the relationship. You will still do it sooner or later.

Break this bond, break out of this maze. Act like a man, don't act like a coward.

Men always leave the women who raised them. This doesn't just apply to moms. Although they leave their mothers in the first place, and leave them "to this brainless proshmandovka." Such is the law of life, and always will be. Simply because men are traitors by nature, by nature.

An example of this is not only your neighbor Vasily after the opening of the second kiosk "Grill Chicken", but all Hollywood stars who urgently changed wives as soon as they became one. A new social status requires a new companion - younger, blond, more effective.

It's only in the movies that to become a general, you have to marry a lieutenant and eat shit with him in military camps. In life, to become a general, you have to marry a general. Not a single general wants to see in the eyes of his companion his whole long way up, where there was shit, and barracks, and what the hell else. He wants to see only delight in his current position. And envy in the eyes of others from what a fucking heifer he managed to tear off.

Even Roman Abramovich urgently changed the mother of five children without respect for her maternal work and the risks associated with her social status for the young laborer Darya Zhukova. Even Brad Pitt suddenly left Jennifer Aniston - also a Hollywood star, by the way - and went with Angelina Jolie to ride around Cambodia and adopt orphans. The children that Aniston did not have, in this case, are just an excuse. He, Brad Pitt, was her son, her child, whom she put on her feet, brought to the stars of the first magnitude - and was forced to give into the grasping hands of the blood-drinking sexidoll Jolie.

And John Lennon and his wife throwing herself out the window? She was a normal Manchester or Liverpool girl, or wherever she came from. And suddenly she became the wife of a super-star. And of course, the superstar was also more suited to the status of the crazy conceptualist Yoko Ono, and not the housewife with a duster in her hands. No matter how much she tried to jump out of the windows or she was poisoned with pills, I don’t remember what she was doing there. You got my point. Fuck yes! Sarkozy and Carla Bruni! That's fresh - already from the world of politics!

How to deal with this - there are two ways. First: do not let your companion grow. This is a very tempting and widely practiced technique. Some start right with their sons, and in the end we see a picture when a forty-year-old son runs home to his mother so that, God forbid, mom does not have a heart attack, hemorrhoids or puerperal fever. Those who managed to escape from the influence of their mother often fall under the heel of their wife and cannot escape either. Everyone lacks courage, money, which all go to feed the family. Sparsely, but steadily - such plump wives think.

We all believe in the power of thought, and so, the power of intention of these wives is such that it does not allow husbands to become millionaires or professors of mathematics. Or maybe they just don't help their husbands? Are they not allowed to get a more risky but promising job, move to other cities, open businesses? Do you think these women are stupid? No! They just chose this way to keep the man and save the family. "Bad - but mine," they think, proudly looking at lonely girlfriends in mink coats, who were abandoned by businessmen husbands. And convinced of the correctness of their chosen strategy.

The second way has already been described above. Marry the general right away. He might just not be able to leave you. There Ukrainian beauty queen Alexandra Nikolaenko (have you ever seen this bud, this delicate flower?) Married an American millionaire 72 years old. And already pregnant from him - that is, he has it not just to show friends at the golf club. That is, he also fucks her from time to time, God forgive me, what do you say.

Seventy-two years! Think about this number! How old is your grandfather? It is clear that this millionaire husband can live on artificial devices for a couple of decades. And he will definitely not be allowed to do euthanasia, despite all the charm of Alexandra Nikolaenko.

I foresee objections: “It’s in your picture of the world, Christina, that all men are traitors! If you had something like that, it doesn’t mean that everyone is like that! I’m already 26 and no one has ever left me! in my arms and every day under my pillow I find the keys to a new car" Or: "I'm 36, I'm a steel magnate and I'm still married to my 37-year-old wife! And I'm not going to leave her!"

I'm not going to argue with you, dear faithful beautiful naive people. It is better to be silent, and do not spill your happiness over the expanses of the Internet. And then I have to write the next post about envy.

Dated a man for 8 months. We both have a rich past. I have: 8 years of marriage, 3 children. He has three children, had 3 official wives. The last wife committed suicide. After her, he had a relationship with a woman, she cheated on him. Now he lives in the apartment of his second wife, with their joint children.
All this time he told me about his sad past, how bad his former women were, how they betrayed him. I took pity on him. He was very attentive to my children, gave them gifts.
He said that he only had a serious relationship with me, we made plans for the future.
I loved him, did not change. I thought he was the one I needed.
Sometimes we had scandals, as I believe provoked by him. For example, he will call, but I did not hear and did not pick up the phone. He then shouted that I was cheating on him at that moment. He disappeared for two weeks. That happened 4 times.
Recently I accidentally found out that in parallel with me he has several novels (I found a stormy correspondence on the phone). He didn't even feel the need to explain anything. Said he had nothing to say. We did not discuss the situation.
Now we do not communicate. I feel very bad. I'm depressed, constantly crying, I miss him. At the same time, I understand that it is wrong to get along with him again, because. man has no boundaries. I love him, but it turns out he betrayed me, deceived me, humiliated me. But I'm not sure I can cut ties with him. I'm afraid that he will call again, I'll pick up the phone and be with him again. He has some power over me. I don't know what to do. How to pull myself together.

Psychologists Answers

Hello Xenia!

If women betrayed him, then he has many grievances against women, and there is no trust in them. If he blames his ex-wives for everything, it means that he does not realize his responsibility for what happened, and after all, two people always participate in relationships, and each contributes his 50%. In you he found a grateful listener and savior.

Afraid of being rejected, he cheated himself. This is his defense. You trusted someone you couldn't trust. You didn't see the warning signs. which are always there. Read my articles I hope you find them useful.

What you feel is not love, but love addiction. It must be dealt with in the same way as with any other addiction (with a specialist or in a psychological support group for co-dependents). Read 2 more of my articles If you are ready to work, please contact. Consultations can be done via Skype.

Stolyarova Marina Valentinovna, psychologist-consultant, St. Petersburg

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Dear Xenia!

You had the misfortune to fall in love with a person who was infatuated with you, but not for long. He left you not because you are bad, uninteresting or unattractive. It's just that this man is not able to build a long-term relationship with someone, fearing betrayal. You yourself write that he complained about all his wives, believing that they betrayed him. And he expects betrayal from all wives or women. And he gets it for real or in the delirium of jealousy.

This happens if a person has experienced severe psychological trauma due to betrayal in childhood. And this betrayal is usually associated with the mother (she wanted to have an abortion, she gave birth out of wedlock, she didn’t love, she left her father for another man, she gave the child to her grandmother to raise or even handed her over to an orphanage, etc.).

Growing up, such men may begin to suspect of deceit, betrayal of all women, obsessing over this for life. Deeply suffering from this, they unconsciously choose problematic wives, those who are able to easily change.

Perhaps you do not fit the type of these troubled women to whom he is unconsciously attracted. When you destroy his myth about bad, unreliable women with your behavior (pity, loyalty, caring, desire for family comfort), it annoys and infuriates him, forcing him to run away to the usual relationship as a sufferer.

Yes, you have fallen into the trap of the unfortunate sufferer and "victim" who is doomed to feel offended, deceived, rejected by women. You are mistaken if you think you can please him or fix him. He will always find something to suspect and accuse you of.

Is such behavior correctable, like that of your former roommate, with whom you are still passionately in love? Yes, it is possible, but for this he needs to undergo long-term psychotherapy with an experienced psychologist, psychotherapist.

You write that he betrayed you. Was there a betrayal? Did he have any obligations to you or your children? There was no marriage. He went to his children, in relation to whom, he has obligations and, apparently, paternal feelings.

Try to take a critical look at the history of your relationship with the man you fell desperately in love with. How to do it? Imagine how you would look at this whole situation if your daughter or close friend were in your place. And looking from the outside at these relationships, what would you advise them, how would you evaluate the actions of a woman in love and this unfortunate man who has so many problems and cannot deal with himself or his women, from whom he demands pity and, not trusting them, changes himself, punishing them.

If you cannot cope with your feelings and want to understand yourself, in person or via Skype, seek help from specialists.

Wish you success!

Rimma Dyusmetova, member of the European Association of Psychotherapists Chelyabinsk

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