Cheating, if it is really cheating, and not a desire to play on your thin nerves, offers everyone a ready-made and very limited set of feelings, emotions and actions. Shock, disappointment, hysteria, loss of trust, orientation and meaning in life. If you experience all this, you are not original. Everything is like everyone else.
What to do if the husband or boyfriend cheated?
If you know the “infidel” quite recently, then life is on your side. Thank her for saving you from someone who could hurt you even more in the future. Rejoice that everything was resolved with minimal losses for you and so soon.
For couples, there are two options:
The first is to leave without agreeing to anything. Never be second in line. Go through a period of living problems and let go, end the relationship.
The second is to stay, to compromise, to develop the habit of tolerance and forgiveness.
In any case, everyone can and should extract their meaningful and unique life experience from the current situation. The main thing is not to fall for the manifestation of a standard behavioral package, inherent at the level of instincts in each of us. And try to rise above the situation, understand and realize why this happened, why with you?
Cheating in a relationship
Today, there are many different opinions regarding the cause of the ongoing changes. Many people say that women are always looking for strong males, that a guilty husband or wife is very useful things in the household, that men are polygamous, they are conquerors seeking to conquer new girls, sometimes to make up for lost time or for bravado ...
However, often sex is not involved at all. All these conversations are designed to force you to accept the rules of life from the standpoint of a primitive thinking being.
In the last twenty years, the fact that the cause of the events taking place is inside us has been lowered or deliberately ignored.
The human mind develops endlessly. Each person therefore receives his life lessons in order to either work on mistakes, or continue to step on the same rake for the rest of his life.
Regardless of what decision you make, it is important to think about what happened, to understand what is happening with your relationship.
Why did he start to change? lie? avoid you. What prompted him to betray?
To answer these questions, think, analyze your life together, relationships. Work, love, life, home, children are inextricably linked with each other.
Recognize that the world has always been and will continue to be a reflection of your thoughts, words and deeds. Perhaps he lacked your love, affection, sexual relations, care, or you tortured him with jealousy, reproaches over trifles ...
Ask yourself the question, at what point did the picture of your ideal family world in your mind begin to collapse and why?
It is important to understand where all this could come from and fall on your head. It just doesn't happen. Surely, the relationship between you has long been undergoing not the best, or rather. Disappeared, compliments, touches, hugs, emotional conversations, attention, sex.
Suppose you yourself have repeatedly “lost” a similar situation (betrayal) in your thoughts, as a likely consequence of your scandals, or maybe you have always been afraid of this. In addition, you know perfectly well that two people are involved in conflicts. Perhaps the huge gaping wound in his soul after the scandals just served as an impetus, first - misunderstandings, then - betrayals.
Recognize that your partner is an independent person, free to do as he sees fit, and not a thing that you acquired sometime and somewhere, not an addition to your hard-earned comforts. Men are also people who have the same feelings and emotions, can be offended, fall in love, just like you.
Take the time to read Steve Harvey's Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man to better understand your man's actions and thoughts.
It is very difficult to rise above the situation, not everyone is given it, but it is possible.
Try to imagine that he is not your partner at all, but your own child, entangled in circumstances. If you fail to see the situation in this vein, then the advice is the same - leave, as mentioned above, and wait until he wants to come to you and discuss everything. A pause will help you recover mentally and energetically. After all, it is difficult to resolve a conflict when it hurts and passions boil. But, at the same time, you don’t need to hide that you know everything, on the contrary, the sooner you make it clear that you know everything, the better.
It’s good if next to you at this moment is not a “friend” or “girlfriend”, who will advise you to take revenge in every possible way, but a person who understands you and really wishes you well. Ideally, if it is a man who knows your partner well.
Straight Talk
Talk. Talk to him about how you feel. Talk about what you want. Talk about what he wants. Talk to him about everything! If the discussion is open and honest, there will never be any unpleasant surprises. You must both understand what is important for the peace of mind of both partners, for the upbringing of children and the prosperity of the family. Mutual trust is the foundation of any relationship. Husband and wife are no exception.
If you decide, try to forgive and not blame, but accept him as he is.
Unfortunately, not a single person can be immune from betrayal, no matter how much he loves and cherishes those who decide to take such a step. The first time after this, it begins to seem as if someone has knocked the ground out from under your feet and life can never be the same. Indeed, if the traitor was very close to you, then his act cannot but affect you - now, most likely, you will be more suspicious and withdrawn. However, you must understand that one day the pain of betrayal will subside, becoming only an experience from which some lessons can be learned.
What to do when you've been betrayed
Betrayed by a beloved man
First of all, try to recover from this story as soon as possible. Realize that since this happened, then this man is clearly not the one who was sent to you by fate, but a kind of test for you. Don't close yourself off from friends and family by sinking into depression. Closing in on yourself, you are left alone with the betrayal that has occurred, and besides it, there will be almost nothing else in your life for some period. Don't let this happen - cut the offender out of your life, and fill your time with new hobbies and meetings that will gradually push this story off the list of important events. This will not be easy to do - you will have neither the desire nor the mood to lead an active lifestyle, but in this case you need to force yourself. Understand that this is the only way you will help yourself get rid of an unpleasant past.
When the traitor is your own husband
Once this person offered you a hand and a heart, and you gave your consent, being sure that you would go hand in hand with him all your life path. Of course, it is very painful to find out in the end that the beloved has decided to betray, but in this case you should not chop off your shoulder, especially if children are growing up in your family.
Talk to your husband and try to understand what inspired him to do this. If you see that your spouse is sincerely repentant, and you understand that, despite everything, you still have feelings for him, then find the strength in yourself to give your family a chance. Spend the evening talking about why this happened, determine how you can live with it, and try not to return to this conversation in the future to maintain a favorable atmosphere in the house.
If you understand that you will never be able to forgive, or if the husband does not express much regret about the deed, then perhaps you should think about dissolving the marriage. After all, a good family life, with such options, probably will not work.
Betrayal by best friend
The betrayal of a friend can sometimes hurt no less than the betrayal of a relative or husband. If a friend is real, then, for sure, you trusted him with your personal secrets, supported him more than once in difficult life situations and consulted on many issues. Now it will not be easy for you to imagine your life without this person, but it is important to realize that if this happened, then the friendship is no more, and it is time for you to go your separate ways.
An exception can only be in the case when a friend or girlfriend was forced to take this step, against their will, or made a ridiculous mistake. In general, you need to give the person a chance to explain themselves, and if you realize that the betrayal could have been avoided, then pause in your communication so that everyone can rethink what happened. After months, you yourself will be able to understand whether you want to return a friend to your life.
Is it worth it to forgive the betrayal of loved ones
Each person has his own ideas about betrayal - someone believes that it is only about treason, but for someone it is enough if a loved one sided with the opponent in some dispute. If you yourself understand that, in general, nothing terrible has happened, then you should not torment your loved one - talk to him and come to an agreement. Explain why it is important to you that this does not happen again.
If someone offended you, but does not ask for forgiveness, then you need to try to forget about him and understand for yourself that this story is superfluous in your life, and it is better to devote your time not to thinking about what happened, but to new impressions and other people. It is much more difficult if a person has repented, and you would like to establish a relationship with him. Unfortunately, the readiness for forgiveness does not always guarantee that it will happen. You may want this, but in fact, resentment will not go anywhere, and conflicts will flare up between you again and again. It is worth trying to forgive a person who admits his mistake, but be prepared for the fact that, despite your desire, you still cannot turn this page in your thoughts, because of which sooner or later you will have to break off relations with the offender.
Is it possible to forgive cheating with another woman
Depends on the situation. If there are no children in your family, then it will be easier to make a decision. It is also worth paying attention to such factors as the repentance of the chosen one and whether the other woman was a constant mistress or whether their relationship turned out to be fleeting.
It happens that a man consciously lives for several months, or even years, in two families, unable to decide who is dearer to him. In this case, it is better to ease the agony of choice and start looking for a life partner for whom you will be the only woman you love.
It is a completely different case if your lover was seduced or he spent the night with another woman after a quarrel with you. Under such circumstances, it is also not easy to forgive a person, but if he sincerely repents of his deed, then you can try to understand him. Most likely, this connection was fleeting and meaningless to the man. Of course, do not immediately pretend that nothing happened - ask them to give you a few days to think about what happened. After that, tell your lover that you forgive him, but if this happens again, then you will not be able to stay together. During the period of your reflection, a man, for sure, realizes how much you are dear to him and how much he would not want to lose you, and subsequently will appreciate your relationship more.
Of course, if you understand that even a fleeting affair is too much for you, and you will never come to terms with it, then you will have to end the novel. Sooner or later, you will come to the same decision if the chosen one does not feel guilty for what happened, and periodically causes reasonable suspicions of a new betrayal by his behavior.
If you have not been together for too long and have not yet created a family, then you should think about whether you want to see such a person in your life. A guy who decides to betray is unlikely to appreciate you highly. However, if you see that he is very upset by what happened, and considers this a big mistake, then you can try to give him another chance, and no more.
Are there children in your family? Then in this situation, you have to think not only about yourself, but also about them. If betrayal by a spouse occurs systematically, again and again making you upset, worried and crying, then, undoubtedly, an unhealthy psychological climate reigns in your family, which is not good for children. Instead of making time for your child, you are busy thinking about what's going on in your relationship with your husband. Forgiving the traitor again and again, you do not save the family at all - only its appearance remains. By doing this, you undermine your health and spoil your mood, depriving the child of communication with a happy mother.
The situation is completely different if the spouse stumbled once, realized his mistake and does not want to lose you. Talk to your husband, clarify to the end why this happened, and how you can restore trust. Tell him that this should not happen again if he wants to be the head of a friendly and happy family. It may be necessary for the two of you to visit a family psychologist if you find that you cannot cope with what happened on your own. For a person who regrets his deed, his own betrayal, as well as for you, is a serious stress. Consider taking a break from the family tension for a while by going on a short trip together, or at least spending a weekend in an interesting place.
How to forget a traitor
Try to mentally at least try to forgive him, and realize that only a weak person goes to betrayal, who has yet to grow above himself. Understand that because of this, he will have to face problems more than once in his life, and be glad that you will no longer be around at that time.
Understand that first of all, now you need to take care of your spiritual comfort. An extremely unpleasant situation happened to you, which should be considered as an important life lesson. Think about what you can learn from this lesson - now you will become stronger and, perhaps, will be able to understand people better.
It's not easy to decide to cut someone out of your life, but it's much harder to actually do it. If you have clearly decided that you do not need such a person, and you are worthy of other relationships, then first of all cut off contacts with the traitor, and do not initiate meetings, conversations and correspondence with him yourself. Do not follow his life through social networks and do not inquire about his affairs through acquaintances - learn that you must completely leave the person in the past. If you have time to find out about how the everyday life of the person who betrayed you goes, then you clearly need to find something more interesting and much more productive for you.
To begin with, set a period (for example, a month) during which you will not show interest in the life of the person you want to forget, and will also not respond to his attempts to get in touch. At this time, it will be very difficult to follow your decision, but you will make it much easier for yourself if you find a new hobby, go on a trip to another country or city. Understand that the sooner this painful connection is broken, the sooner something new and good can enter your life.
Psychologist's advice: What to do if betrayed and how to live after
2 step. Do not try to analyze what you personally could have done to prevent betrayal from happening. You are not responsible for a similar step of another person - it was he who decided to do this and, for sure, he had another choice.
3 step. It is not easy to force yourself not to think about what seriously worries you, but you can do otherwise - consciously switch your attention to something else. It could be about travel. Just do not choose a tour during which you will lie on the beach all day - opt for a more varied pastime. However, if a beach holiday is ideal for you, then perhaps it can become therapy for you. If the vacation is still far away, then think about what can distract you right now. Why not sign up today for a group fitness class, swimming pool, yoga, painting class, or some form of dance? Try yourself in some new direction, spend time with benefits for the body and mood.
4 step. Unfortunately, betrayal often brings not only emotional distress, but also a serious blow to self-esteem. Over time, you may decide that, in general, you deserve this outcome of events, and do not deserve anything good at all. Get rid of that assumption. A person betrayed you not because you are not perfect in some way, but because he himself could not find a more worthy way out of the situation - he did not have enough decency or willpower for this. You should only regret that you were forced to come into contact with someone else's weakness, and help yourself to recover from this situation. Pamper yourself with small and large pleasant purchases, meet friends, be open to new hobbies and acquaintances.
So many guys and so few real men.
I'm annoyed by these guys who go around and pretend to be men. In fact, I recently lost a potential relationship because of them. These "false - Men" managed to "light up" in front of women, deceive them, betray and kill their faith in the powers that be. There are not so many representatives of the weaker sex left who can still believe men.
I've never been dishonest with women before. And I never even had such a desire. But, unfortunately, I met very few women who would believe me in this life. I am sure that I am not the only man who has faced a similar problem in his life.
I believe that quite a lot of great guys are forced to bear the burden of "Betrayal and Faith in the Beloved Person", which was put on them by the ex-boyfriends of their chosen ones. When a man betrays a woman, she will never be able to trust him again. Never is by no means an exaggerated concept, it is a real "Never". Unfortunately, this will also affect the next chosen one of this woman.
After a betrayal, a woman cannot move away for a long time. She then for many years will not be able to trust men. A real man never betrays. Here's the reason why it doesn't:
1. A real man is emotionally stable.
We all know that women have trouble controlling their emotions. To be honest, sometimes it's even worse for men. While women "Emotion" and blow off steam, men "boil" in their own thoughts.
But all this happens until the cup of patience of a man overflows, and he does not explode. When something goes wrong in a relationship, women can boldly scream, cry, complain, reproach, get angry, silence or starve. But men are different! Weak men pretend that they do not care about everything that happens around them.
But, when their cup of patience overflows, they look for means to splash out their emotions. They start drinking, smoking, fucking everything that moves. And, unfortunately, such a period of silent war with his beloved woman leads to the fact that he begins to sleep with everyone.
A real man deals with his emotions in a different way, more restrained.
2. A real man has enough willpower to keep "His Household" in his pants.
Sorry gentlemen for saying this out loud, but if you are a man, you will naturally sleep with any beauty you meet along the way. I'm talking about bachelors now.
Thus, if you are a real man, then you will not risk a stable relationship for a few minutes of pleasure with an unfamiliar woman with whom you have developed some kind of chemistry and nothing more. In the event that you want to sleep with someone, then why not do it with a woman who loves you!
Only if sex with your partner bored you a little, then diversify it. Both are involved in this process, so, for example, if she does not lick the cream off you, then lick the cream off her yourself.
3. Real men don't date people they don't love, or don't even believe they can love one day.
Of course, we've all dated someone we weren't in love with. I generally don't believe in love at first sight, but cases are different. However, a large number of guys still date women just for the sake of convenience.
Why go out and look for someone when there is one who can always come herself! Real men understand that women are not toys, and do not perceive them simply as a way to satisfy their needs.
When men know that they can't love this woman, they end the relationship instead of dragging it out in the hope that she can be their second choice.
4. A real man is always respectful.
People trust when they see respect in their direction. It is respect that is an obligatory aspect of communication, especially in relation to the woman you are dating. Change is a lie. It kills trust and shows that you do not take into account the feelings of your partner, friend and just a person who has been next to you for a certain period of time.
There is nothing worthy in treason, this is not done with loved ones. Thus, if a woman stops believing in you, then this is final and irrevocable. I came to this conclusion by going through a long and difficult road of error of my own.
5. A real man does not keep a list of his sexual partners. He does not need this to feel and understand himself as a real man.
A real man knows for sure that he is a man. It is felt in his every movement, deeds. And he doesn't do anything special for it. He doesn't need to expose himself. All this is reflected in his actions.
So many men in today's society believe that the more sexual partners they have, the better they are as men. Women are like a game for them, like a kind of commodity that needs to be collected.
Women are not toys! And the game we all play is called Life. Betrayal is sometimes too expensive, and at high stakes, you can even ruin your life.
6. A real man will never harm the woman he loves.
I'll be honest with you, a real man will not offend any of the women. A real man takes care of himself and all those who are close and dear to him.
In the event that you are already lucky enough to meet the woman you really love, and you have not managed to lose her, then do everything possible and impossible to make her smile. There is nothing worse than losing someone you love so much. Mistakes are mistakes, but there is such a thing as forgiveness.
7. A real man always knows what's really important in life - and it's definitely not casual sex.
Men are too busy pursuing their dreams. They are all the time in achieving what they want out of life. At the same time, they objectively realize what they want from life.
As men, we want the best from the world and the people around us. And only when we get what we wanted, comes the realization that in fact, not the best ways were chosen to achieve our goal. I mean, it's really cool when you have one woman with you, but you love it. Quantity doesn't matter here, quality matters.
Being around a woman who loves you and accepts you with all your flaws is what really matters. The rest you don't even want to remember.
8. A real man will always have the courage to break off relations with a woman.
If you decide to cheat on your woman, then you no longer want to be with her. Take courage and end the relationship. You will still do it sooner or later. Break this bond, break out of this maze. Act like a man, don't act like a coward.
A real man
- Masculinity. Indeed, it is thanks to her that a man can be called a man, since a courageous person combines strength of mind, nobility, honor and courage. So a man with this quality is quite close to the medieval image of his worthy ancestors.
- Courage. A man should be not just brave, but doubly brave: for himself and for his woman. So that expression, which I told you about at the very beginning, that today's men are crushed, just refers to courage, since some now very often hide behind the backs of their wives or "mommies."
- A responsibility. Previously, life was much easier, and, consequently, there was less responsibility. He killed the beast, brought the prey and again to hunt: here is an approximate "schedule" of an ancient average husband. It seems, and only “business”, not like now! Yes, a man has much more responsibility in the modern world. It is necessary not only to be able to feed and protect your family, but also to think with your head where necessary. And this work, I tell you, is not easy.
- Honesty. Unfortunately, only a few representatives of the stronger sex have this wonderful quality. What kind of honesty can we talk about if men even deceive their wives! Of course, the main thing is to be honest with yourself and with your conscience.
However, now this is all very easily solved, since some people have no conscience at all.
- Decency. To some extent, this is a synonym for honesty, therefore it is a rather rare quality among the male population of our planet. It is almost impossible to imagine a 100% decent man, because he must love, feed and protect his family, not cheat on his wife with other women, respect the elderly, never deceive anyone and not commit shameful acts. Yes, such an image is most likely a utopia. Do you know such a man? Really? It must be immediately delivered to the museum as a rare and valuable antique.
- Diligence. You can't even catch a fish from a pond without effort. It's right. A man should not be lazy, because on his shoulders lies the care of the family, and the main income, and many household chores that a woman is not able to handle on her own. Of course, there are now “instances”, which, alas, are becoming more and more, preferring an empty pastime on the couch in front of the TV with a can of beer or, worse, a glass of something stronger than diligence.
- Kindness. This is an essential quality of every standing man, especially if he has a family. It is impossible to engage and educate children without a good attitude, otherwise, WHAT will come of them in the future?
One of the signs of kindness is love for animals and respect for old age. So pay attention to your new acquaintance (if you have far-reaching plans for him), how he relates to "mustache and striped" and how he speaks about his parents or grandparents. Thus, you can easily calculate his real "mask".
A woman betrays easily. If a man does not understand this at least with age, then the consequences of such naivety for him will be extremely difficult.
In the morning, she holds your hands, looks into your eyes and swears (swears!) That she will never leave, will not betray, will not change. And asks you not to leave. That she just can't take it. No not like this. That it simply does not exist without you. She simply does not exist - if you are not with her.
And in the evening she gives herself to another. And calmly tells you about it.
Why? Is there a difference - why?
A man perceives betrayal as an offense, a crime, a sin. Even if he cheats, he blames himself in his soul. And he blames so much that it is noticeable even in his behavior. This is how women guess about the betrayal of a man - by the outward signs of self-flagellation.
A woman perceives betrayal in a completely different way. For her, it's about the same as putting on these shoes today, and those tomorrow. Well, who in their right mind would think that the shoes would be offended? What hurts them? What do they love? Trust and trust?
A woman betrays not because she wants to betray. No, sometimes that's why, but most often it's quite the opposite. She betrays casually, by chance. Without even noticing that she had just betrayed the person who trusted her. This is the reason why a woman will never admit to betrayal and will not even admit that she betrayed. She just didn't notice it. How did you betray? Did she betray? A woman betrays petty and cruel.
For a woman, there is no concept of "betrayal" as such. I gave myself to another - well, yes, so what? New love. It not only removes, levels out all previous obligations - it seems to format the hard drive.
So when a woman talks about "obligations" in a relationship, she means you and only you. For her, all obligations end as soon as a new "love" breaks out. Or the old one will end.
Moreover, this often does not depend on the age of the woman, or on the educational level, or on income. 16-year-old virgins and 45-year-old experienced ladies, philological virgins and vocational schools, poor students and rich business women. No difference. What does it depend on? Yes, God knows. If you are trying to find a category where the possibility of betrayal will disappear, then you are wasting your time. And what is the worst - a series of very painful disappointments awaits you. Because the destruction of hopes is the most painful thing that happens in life. The maximum that can be done is to reduce this probability. But don't completely rule it out.
If you have a woman, you should know this.
In the morning she moaned loudly under you, demanded more and more. And in the evening SMS: "We must part." 
Yesterday she dreamed and fantasized how you would spend the weekend together in nature, and on Friday she just left with another.
She is a loving wife and mother of three children. And today you get a subpoena to divorce court. And in a day you lose your children, apartment and future income.
Before you get there, you're walking through a minefield. And each new explosion will tear you apart.
And if you got a faithful woman - take care of her. There are too few of them to throw around.
Alexander Biryukov
It is believed that men cheat more often than women. And although many ladies cheat on their partners, the latest statistics still show that the representatives of the strong half of humanity are more likely to be unfaithful. According to information collected in 2017, 22% of married men admitted to cheating, while 14% of married women said they had affairs on the side. And although these numbers are quite low, they are still too high when it comes to comfort in many families.
There is never a significant reason for betraying a partner or justification. But the reasons for betrayal are sometimes surprising. And if you know them, then you can try to prevent adultery and save the marriage.
GettyImages After the column about male betrayal, I received several more or less indignant questions from men: why don’t women betray, don’t do nasty things, don’t get out of the world?
I sadly inform you that meanness and violence are practiced by both sexes in an excellent way, and the difference between them is only in methods.
Let's start with the fact that women cheat as often and tastefully as men: should these herds of "lustful goats" fornicate with someone? It is unlikely that a million males sin with a thousand prostitutes, while 999,000 pure angels watch in horror. In every male crime against marriage, there is an accomplice who is morally responsible for her decision to sleep with a married man. Moreover, it is much easier for a girl to get stuck in an adventure. If a man needs to take the initiative to get sex, a lady just needs to nod in time.
Women are indeed less likely to leave their family in difficult situations, for example, in the event of a spouse’s illness: we are too compassionate for this and too focused on caring for weak family members. But the routine is hard to endure, so some get a romantic outlet just for the sake of courtship, gentle letters and walks. Then, as was said, she casually nodded. Then she fell in love and, as an emotional being, she could not hide, she made sudden movements. There is something vampiric about male horns: for the time being they are not reflected in the mirror. But one day, oops, they appear in all their glory, and most often because the wife herself pointed her finger and showed. During the period of falling in love, a funny moral rejuvenation takes place, a woman becomes younger, honest, uncompromising, so for some reason she definitely needs to confess to her husband and destroy the marriage.
However, in order to turn family life into hell, it is not at all necessary to change or leave, there are more virtuous and conservative (in the sense, non-surgical) methods. It is enough to learn the phrase "I'm a girl, I can."
Not all, but many ladies are sure that a Woman Has the Right - no, not civil, it did not give up for such a gift, but a certain moral right - to emotional unbridledness.
“Don’t yell at me,” the gentle creature squeals, “how dare you raise your voice at the Girl!”
“I’m a woman, I’m hysterical,” the venerable matron beats her chest, “and you must endure and be silent, you’re a Man!”
In their opinion, a Woman can yell, slap, spit poison, make scenes, including public scenes, spend money pointlessly, run away into the night, get into someone else's mail, throw a laptop out of the window and much more, in short - everything. A man is obliged not only to endure, but also to yield, otherwise he is a completely insensitive creature, while the lady suffers!
So, the first two whales of this worldview - A girl is allowed, a man is obliged. After all, the specific properties of Zh.: emotionality, vulnerability and tenderness, and the basic advantages of M.: reliability, honesty and caring. Hmm, when you write this, it's not even clear what's wrong.
The third whale, as well as the perfect tool of blackmail, is called "For the sake of the child." For the sake of the Child, the Man is obliged to endure even more than what he was already obliged by his masculine nature. Because children are sacred. He must endure everything and more, so as not to injure them with scandals (if mom yells, this is normal, she, see above, is emotional and tender, but dad sets a bad example). He has no right to leave their mother and feel like an honest person after that. He not only has to endure, he has to rejoice. The father of the family is a loving terminator who generates money, care and positive emotions. In any other case, he is a scoundrel.
I exaggerate, but in general this concept is easy to accept, it seems logical and physiologically reinforced: we are fragile, they are strong, we are quivering, they are goats ... energetic.
The problem is that this system does not imply equal rights and obligations for two Adults, does not stipulate the responsibility of each individual for his fate and his actions - regardless of what form of his genitals and what hormones prevail in the blood. No one should be a puppet in the hands of his nature; that is, of course, we all happen, but it’s worth at least trying. No need to look up to a stupid knight or a fitful princess, otherwise you will inevitably turn into a dragon. Simply - a man, simply - reasonable, and it's absolutely fine if he's good.
Video Betrayal. What to do? Why is everyone betraying me?
Statuses and quotes about the betrayal of a man
Some of the most bitter and painful are statuses about the betrayal of a loved one. There is no disappointment stronger than the betrayal of the one whom he considered relatives and friends, on whom he had high hopes and believed with all his heart and soul ... Unfortunately, there are a lot of statuses written on this sad and exciting topic, our expectations do not always coincide with the real twists of fate . And such statuses can help in a difficult period of mental anguish and resentment to maintain self-control, not to lose faith in people who know how to appreciate what they have.
On the heart of another scar from your betrayal, my love. But don't worry about me, the wound has healed, and I'm alive again.
All men are capable of betrayal. Everyone except my father. At least he didn't let me down.
I again and again step on this rake of betrayal of a loved one. It's good that this time they broke my rose-colored glasses, which hid the lies and hypocrisy of others.
Be careful when you see doubt, worry, and fear. They are the most faithful companions of betrayal, who come a little earlier than their companion.
Best Status:
It is foolish to be afraid of friends, you can only expect betrayal from them. It is foolish to be afraid of enemies, they can only kill. Be afraid and avoid the indifferent. They are the main cause of worldly evil. With their silence and indifference, they cause more pain than cataclysms.
If a man is successful, then the woman helped him with her love. If a woman is successful, then a man helped her with his betrayal.
You can always forgive the betrayal of a loved one, but whether this person will remain loved is a question.
Is it possible and necessary to forgive the betrayal of a loved one
- Without understanding and not listening to the version of the other side, break off relations, but after a while, waking up, they want to return the half back.
- There are marriages where the question: is it possible to forgive infidelity is not even considered. They simply turn a blind eye to betrayal and live according to the principle of "walk and return."
- Others endlessly believe and hope that the betrayal was the last time. The infidel, in turn, swears allegiance to the grave, but then again does the same thing.
- For still others, adultery becomes an incentive to work on oneself (both externally and spiritually). The injured party does not take on the role of the victim, but is actively engaged in the restoration of the family, which in the end it succeeds.
- Still others file for divorce, despite a one-time mistake, small children, etc. As a result, they find a second husband / wife and live happily with them.
- And there are those: they forgive the misconduct, they themselves beg the unfaithful not to leave them, and after a while they realize that they cannot live with the humiliation experienced - the traitor constantly reminds of him with his presence.
What to say to a man who betrayed. The man who offended
If a man offended, then do not express your anger and resentment in a letter. It’s better to just say that his act hurt a lot and became the reason for the breakup.
An example of a letter to an offender:
"Hi, dear! I decided to write you a farewell letter in prose. I don't have enough mental strength to write a letter in verse. I spent all my strength on stopping the tears that I shed through your fault. I decided to put an end to our difficult relationships.
Everything that was between us is gone! There are no more feelings that burned before, no respect for each other, no care and understanding. We have become completely different people!
It is worth admitting that we ourselves have destroyed and trampled on our feelings. I don't want to live like this anymore. I made a decision that will only make it better for both of us! We need to part, our paths diverged.
Soon I will leave, then look for another, but you will not find another like me.
The smallest misfortune is perceived as the beginning of the end by the person who, having committed a betrayal, hurt another.
Every meeting with any guy is a lesson time that you need to learn for yourself. You will be with this person until you pass the lesson, even if it lasts an hour or a lifetime.
Don't say women cheat. This is not true. A woman either falls in love again, or takes revenge for someone else's betrayal.
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The closer you let a guy get close to you, the more painfully you experience his betrayal.
Nothing corrodes the soul of a person like the betrayal of a loved one ...
I kiss you and feel with every cell the taste of your betrayal. I kiss you because I love you.
Another betrayal pierces the heart with thousands of needles. I want to throw out and trample everything from my memory because of the unbearable pain.
I'm leaving, but I'm very afraid. The main thing is that there are no more lies and betrayal of the beloved guy.
SUCH do not forgive! Betrayal is worse than a shot.
It hurts so much .. He goes to meet me with her and says that she is the best with him, and I walk by with lowered eyes, and he recently told me this ..
Why is there only betrayal and lies around? (
I don't want to see you in my life anymore... go away, you betrayed me...
Betrayal can only happen if you love...
It's an amazing feeling to not feel anything when you see a person for whom so many tears have been shed.
Betrayal of a loved one can only be compared with ... no, fuck, there is nothing to compare with ...
Why, to him, his friend, he forgave the betrayal, but he did not forgive me, his beloved person, my character ...
Pain. Betrayal. Resentment. They drowned out the knocking of the heart, I recognized this power, Revenge ... yes! she is called!
I so love to look into your eyes and listen to how you lie ... And you don’t even know that I know the truth ...
Wish your ex at least good luck ... because he has already lost happiness.
There's nothing to be done - then we indulge in love, then love betrays us.
Betrayal is the worst thing you can expect from a loved one.
To forget him, a loved one should not attach.
Betrayal is when they swear eternal and endless love to you, and then in an instant they forget you.
I'll get over you, do you hear? I can run away from myself! You somehow breathe without me, and I will learn to breathe without you.
Salty taste on the pillowcase is your betrayal.
She was betrayed, but she became betrayed ... just one letter that can break a person ...
One of the hardest things in life is watching someone you love love someone else...
He: forgive me... can't you return everything?.. She: would you forgive betrayal and lies?.. He: well.... She: you see.. I couldn't either..
Do not forgive the person who betrayed you, the wolves are expelled from the pack of traitors!!!
The betrayal of a loved one is pain, whatever you call it, there is no resentment, because it is stupid to be offended, nor anger, because it is a waste of energy ... One aching pain !!!
Betrayal begins with trust...
It is the betrayal of a loved one that makes you think about those around you ...
Ohhh...God...I found that one, beloved, unique...we all think so, but only until the first betrayal.
Attitude towards a person changes if he does not appreciate what you do for him.
If your soul suddenly gets sick ... It whines like a hungry dog ... You laugh, close your eyes: so that no one sees the tears ...
The betrayal of a man is a spit from the family, and the betrayal of a woman is a spit in the family.
Losing love is sometimes easier than going through the pain of betrayal...
Treason is more shameful than murder
Sorry for lying, don't apologize for loving him...
Treason to the past is painlessly given only to those who in this past lived with one dream of the future.
It's better to be unfaithful than to be faithful against your will. – B. Bardo
Cheating is when you want to immediately tell something important instead of your wife to another woman ... To change, you don’t have to leave the house at all, because it’s enough to have a phone or Internet access.
Desperate to change her husband, cheat on her husband.
Women somehow immediately guess with whom we are ready to cheat on them. Sometimes even before it crosses our minds.
Husbands are usually good in bed when cheating on their wives.
Treason? What a vulgar name for the subtlest, highest dissatisfaction, for the search for more and more...
Better let him think that I cheated on him. How will he know that at the time when he went to the left, I cried and waited for him.
If your girlfriend cheated on you and you want to jump from the tenth floor, remember: you don't have wings, but horns.
It is difficult for women to decide on treason, but having decided, they do not stop.
There is no female infidelity. There is either revenge for male betrayal, or a new love.
A woman who has changed is a big cold cutlet that you don’t want to touch because someone else was holding it in your hands.
We are always afraid to show ourselves to the one we love, after we happened to be attracted on the side. – La Rochefoucauld
I won't apologize for sticking together the heart you broke...
I was bored - that's why it started. He bored me - that's why it ended
It seems to me that leftist connections are condemned mainly by those people who themselves cannot have them.
Husbands are usually good in bed when cheating on their wives. - Marilyn Monroe
Women love the losers, but cheat on them with the winners. Tennessee Williams
What is wrong with me? Do I have that written on my forehead: Change me? - Sergei Rodionovich Beschastny
Infidelity is like death - it knows no nuances
Women love the losers, but cheat on them with the winners. – Tennessee Williams
A man can love, but change, and a woman can not change, but not love.
I love betrayal, but not traitors. - Gaius Julius Caesar
Cheating on a loved one is forgiven, but never forgotten.
A woman, when she loves, confesses to treason, because she wants to be honest. And a man will never forgive, because he also loves ...
A woman does not change in two cases: if she believes that her man is the best, or if she believes that they are all the same.
In bed with your mistress, do not forget that your place next to your wife is vacant at this moment ...
Love is unique. With me you are one, and with another you will be different. It would be a betrayal if it were possible to repeat the same love, but with another person. What was mine will remain with me and will not be repeated.
Having ceased to love, we rejoice when they cheat on us, thereby freeing us from the need to be faithful. – F. La Rochefoucauld
To surprise a fatalist with betrayals, to amaze with the change of seasons.
Distance is a reason for pain, but not a reason for change...
The strength of a man lies not in how many women he slept with, but in how many he refused for the sake of one ...
He found time to take care of me and to cheat on me every day. - Coco Chanel
Cheating is when you want to immediately tell something important instead of your wife to another woman ... To change, you don’t have to leave the house at all, because it’s enough to have a phone or Internet access. – Janusz Wisniewski
Nothing kills from the inside like betrayal, a lie of a loved one ...
Frivolous women cheat lightly, serious women seriously. – ***
Ah, it is much better to know that my lover lies in a grave in the Clamart cemetery than in the bed of a rival!
The fact that a woman is cheating on you does not mean that happiness is cheating on you.
Infidelity is when you have nothing to say to your husband, because everything has already been said to another.
Sometimes you have to change to understand what is not necessary.
Loyalty is a matter of conscience, and betrayal is a matter of time.
For those who are faithful in love, only a banal essence is available. The tragedy of love is known only to those who change.
You always find out about betrayal, absolutely at the wrong time, either before your birthday, or before February 14 ...
A man, while he is married, can easily get two or three women on the side. More than that is a scam. - Sergei Rodionovich Beschastny
If they cheat on you, do not be surprised - after all, you are not the only woman in the world, but do not kill yourself - after all, he is not the only man in the world ...
In order for the husband not to change, the wife must change. And so that the wife does not change, the husband should not change.
The bank called “fidelity” is a very serious bank. It is worth making one deposit on the side and that's it - your account is closed.
The easiest way is to forgive your own infidelity.
The slightest infidelity towards us we judge much more severely than the most insidious betrayal towards others. – F. La Rochefoucauld
Those who are faithful in love comprehend its banal essence. And only those people who change know the tragedy of love.
Changing, a woman is looking for the best, and a man - a new one.
Curiosity is the first step to cheating
If your wife cheated on you, don't ask how many times, because it can really hit you.
Even the women who cheat on us are not the women we dream of cheating on.
Cheating on your wife is immoral. Not changing is stupid. But it is known that the cause of immorality is stupidity. Vicious circle.
Loyalty is the gap between two betrayals.
The length of the husband's horns is equal to the length of the dignity of the lover, multiplied by the number of infidelities of the wife.
A woman, especially a married woman, cheats mostly not for, but in spite of: he cheated on me - I will repay him in the same coin.
For those who are faithful in love, only its banal essence is available. The tragedy of love is known only to those who change.
You can't build your own happiness on someone else's misfortune
Never forgive change! Any betrayal is a comparison, a search for something better than you have... He who searches for something better will never appreciate what he has! Love is not the choice of the best, but your own ...
I distinguish between betrayal and infidelity. Cheating touches the body, infidelity touches the soul.
Hello, Elena. I found myself in a very unpleasant situation. I no longer know who to turn to. I am 21 years old, I work, I study at the institute. I had a boyfriend, we were in a relationship for 4 years and 7 months. Recently, we have been arguing very much, I am largely to blame, but he is also unconditional, because two are to blame for the quarrels. He was not satisfied with my psychos, scandals, I was not satisfied with his attitude towards me, it hurt a lot we began to allow each other in relationships, and even swore obscenities, all this was constantly seen by his friends .. (which, it seems to me, turned against me). The thing is, we had a romantic dinner the other day before he left me, everything was perfect, and the next day it all started. First, when I called him, he said that he was at home, going to bed, and the next day I found out that he did not spend the night at home at all. Because of this, we had another scandal. He did not pick up the phone, did not answer SMS. And the next day I found out that he was in a club with friends, and he had a new girlfriend, on the same day he broke off all relations with me, this girl is a friend of our friend, who, by the way, introduced them to this club. I humiliated myself, wrote to him, then everyone asked me to wait, they said that he would come to his senses. But he already told everyone that he was serious with her. I just can't believe that he traded almost 5 years of relationship for one night with her. At the same time, he does not live at home, he lives with her. We didn't live together. She is an ordinary student, he also works like me, we even study part-time at the same institute. All relatives are shocked by his act, I communicate with his parents. I am like a daughter to them. We planned a wedding with him this year, he is my age. We wanted to start living separately. We thought about children. And everything collapsed in an instant. I just don’t want to live, I have hysterics every evening, my heart hurts. I just can't believe he could do this to me. When I begged him for a meeting, he arrived for 5 minutes, with her. At the same time, I asked him if he loves me, he did not answer, but terrible aggression towards me, as if I were his worst enemy. Help me. I don’t even want to go to the session, everyone will ask about our relationship there, no one can believe that he is now with another. And I still love him too. Very much. And I realized many of my mistakes, as they say, until you lose, you will not understand the value of something. Help me figure it out, it's just that thoughts of suicide appear, although I have always been a reasonable person, now emotions are winning. I don’t know if it’s worth hoping for something, believing that he will walk up and return, or how I can forget him and not think about him. Now he dedicates everything to her, all our songs, poems, everything ... everything that is our common and innermost. Help.
Psychologists Answers
Alena, hello
Alena, as I understand it, your boyfriend suddenly began to develop a relationship with another girl. You admit that recently your relationship has begun to deteriorate and both of you have become "a lot to allow yourself." I hear you regret it now. But his life together with another girl really came as a surprise to you. Alena, according to the letter, you are now in a state of shock. It is not clear how this happened, how to relate to this ... General plans ... how to deal with them? .... In such a state, of course, decisions should not be made. Although, you are probably already getting out of shock gradually, since you are wondering “is it worth hoping for something, believing that he will walk up and return, or how can I forget him and not think about him.” It is not clear to you and it hurts now ... Whether he will return or not will return is another matter. In any case, something happened in the relationship, a break ... This is already a loss at the moment. And it's important to acknowledge this. Alena, the reaction to any loss is the passage of certain stages. In the most general form, first shock, denial, anger, then pain, grief and tears, then reflection, farewell. All this must be experienced. Therefore, in such a situation, your condition is normal. Alena, just try to realize what is happening to you right now? What feelings fill you? Resentment, guilt, anger, confusion, protest, denial? Labeling feelings will help you find yourself in this storm of emotions. Alena, perhaps it would be useful for you to take time for yourself now to be with your feelings, express them ... think about how this happened, what led to this? What is your role and that of your young man? In all this, it is useful to listen to yourself: what is your heart aching about? What hurts the most: the fact that you love him, that plans have collapsed, that your common dedicates another, or everything happened so unexpectedly that you don’t know how to react, etc. You write at the beginning of the letter that you have not been satisfied with his attitude towards to you. Alena, I understand that for all your friends this turn of events came as a surprise. You write that no one can believe. Therefore, I think it is useful to admit that you do not fully understand everything either.
Over time, when feelings fit in, some decision comes, what to do next ... Rethinking and accepting one's responsibility always gives strength
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