Many parents notice that their children become more capricious as they approach the age of one. Usually they refuse to eat or sleep, cry, are stubborn about trifles, do not let their mother go a step away, etc. What is the reason for such changes? All this is a crisis of a 1 year old child. It begins at about the age of ten months and can last almost six months, and sometimes a year. It is not at all difficult to determine the first age crisis in a baby, since it has a number of its own characteristics and signs. But to worry about the strange behavior of their beloved child, mothers and fathers should not be at all. You don't need to think that the little one wants to show his character so. This is just one of the periods in the life of each toddler. And your primary task is to help your child cope with all the difficulties of this transitional moment.
What is the first year crisis
The time periods when the baby's behavior and habits change is an integral part of growing up. And they are called age or personality crises. Throughout life, such crises recur regularly. In childhood, this occurs in the first weeks after birth, at 1 year old, at three, at six and at 12-14 years old.
Sooner or later, the child has new needs, and what was used to satisfy them earlier ceases to be relevant. This is the crux of the problem.
It is at the age of 1 year (plus or minus 1-2 months) that the baby takes the first steps, begins to actively explore the world around him. But his aspirations and impulses are most often limited to the parental categorical "no!" From this and tears, and whims, and stubbornness.
Remember the root cause of world revolutions: "The lower classes cannot, but they do not want the top"? The situation is roughly the same here. Moms and dads should realize that their baby has grown, become more independent, sociable and mobile, and start treating the baby in a different way. But how to understand that a one-year-old toddler is already in crisis?
Signs of a crisis
- Disobedience, stubbornness. The kid is sure that he can always do everything on his own. And when he is contradicted and forbidden, he categorically refuses to obey.
- Frequent mood swings. The little one expresses dissatisfaction with almost everyone and everything. The reaction to certain situations changes radically, aggression appears.
- Conflicting behavior. It is expressed in the fact that first the baby hugs, and then hits someone, or first begs for a toy, and then throws it away.
- Vulnerability, resentment. The child often cries, is capricious. It is often difficult to calm him down, because the reason for his tears is almost impossible to find.
- Fear of losing mom out of sight. This one-year-old toddler is most often called "mother's tail".
- The child constantly requires attention. It is important for him to be watched and his games played. The kid starts to get jealous.
Causes of the problem
Now let's take a closer look at the reasons for this behavior. The peculiarity of the first year of life of any child is that it develops comprehensively - both mentally and physically. He actively studies the world around him. At 10-12 months, he can already take and hold in his hands things that were previously inaccessible to him. Taking his first steps.
Therefore, the baby believes that he is an adult, independent, and can completely do without the intervention of adults, and any prohibitions cause him only indignation. Which can be called the first reason for the 1 year crisis.
This is manifested when the baby stubbornly makes attempts to eat on his own, and his parents do not support him in good endeavors. Or when he wants to walk without assistance, and his mother does not let go of his hand.
Adults continue to behave with the grown-up child in the same way as before. And when faced with resistance and aggression, they often behave completely wrong: they get angry, scream, and sometimes use force. Here is the second reason for the crisis.
Hence the conclusion - a child in the 1st year is capricious, because he has grown up, his needs and capabilities have changed, and parents also need to rebuild and start treating the baby in a different way, give him more freedom and respect his personality.
Duration
The duration of the crisis period in the first year of life varies from a week to a year, which directly depends on the character of the baby and the ability of adults to discern changes in their child in time and react to them.
And sometimes parents do not notice any crisis phenomena at all, since children are calm in themselves, and their opinions and desires are always taken into account in the family.
Some parents put up with the fact that their children become moody and continue to indulge them, even as they get older. The rest, on the contrary, refuse to accept the prevailing circumstances and apply not very popular measures against children. Nevertheless, there are methods, from the point of view of psychologists, correct and not so complicated, with which you can negotiate with the protesting kid.
- Drop unnecessary prohibitions as much as possible. Let there not be so many of them. In order not to forbid the child to take this or that thing every time, just move these things to an inaccessible place.
- If the baby takes the initiative and tries to do something on his own, do not stop him.
- If the baby does not want to eat, do not force him, just offer. When he gets hungry, he will definitely eat.
- Learn to understand your little one and be attentive to his requests and desires. Although he still does not know how to express his thoughts, Mom will probably intuitively feel them.
- Parents should be the best friends of their child, and not strict educators, so spend more time with your baby - crawl with him, play with the toys he offers.
- Communicate with the baby constantly. After all, this is important not only as a manifestation of attention, but also as an aspect of the development of speech. Talk to him about everything in the world - talk about what you are doing now, what you plan to do, ask his opinion.
- Involve your child in daily activities. Be sure that he will be interested. And even more so, if he hears praise in his address, he will definitely help you next time. Ask him for help.
- If the baby cries without stopping, and it is impossible to calm him down with all sorts of persuasions, leave him alone, but not for long. When he realizes that his parents do not pay attention to the manifestations of his character at all, he will almost immediately switch to another occupation.
What not to do
There is also a number of taboos that in no case should be neglected in this difficult period:
- You cannot put pressure on the child and show that you are older and stronger, you must be a friend and protector for him.
- It is not necessary to forbid the toddler to show independence, otherwise, becoming more adult, he will continue to hope for your help.
- There should be a minimum of bans, but there is no place for permissiveness either.
- Parents, as well as all relatives and friends who communicate with the baby, must adhere to one scheme of relations with him, so that there are no situations when the mother forbids him what the grandmother permits, for example.
- Your child should be given enough attention, but you don't have to spend all of your time with him. Parents should be able to clearly explain to the baby that they have other things to do.
- At this age, children repeat everything after adults, so do not allow yourself to show your bad sides in the presence of a child.
- You cannot shout at the baby or beat him, although during this period it is difficult to cope with his whims.
- Distract the crumb from the problems, but do not give a little whim for any reason sweet and do not pick up on demand.
Should you be afraid of the crisis of the first year
There is no need to be afraid of the crisis of the 1st year - it is natural. The fact that it is acute should not alarm parents.
It is precisely its vivid manifestation that suggests that the child is formed as a person correctly. And the external absence of manifestations, which creates the illusion of harmonious development, on the contrary, indicates that the psyche has not received proper development. Remember that misunderstanding is much more dangerous than the crisis itself.
Video: "Naughty Children" - Komarovsky
All manifestations of the crisis of the first year will pass very quickly if you can start treating your child, who is going through such a difficult period, with respect and understanding. After that, rest assured, a time of stability will follow, when the baby will actively continue to develop and delight parents with new successes. Negative character traits can only gain a foothold when the parents put pressure on the baby and show their strength. Only with close interaction with your child will you not only overcome the crisis period in a short time, but also lay a solid foundation for mutual trust and harmonious development of your beloved child in the future.
All parents, without exception, are worried, and sometimes frightened by situations when suddenly, a baby begins to cry for no reason, his sleep deteriorates, he refuses to breast. They are trying to create good conditions for him (change the diaper more often, put on lighter things, cover them with warmth, reduce the noise in the room to a minimum), but most often this does not improve the situation. What's the matter?
It turns out that there are developmental crises in children under the age of one year, as well as a special calendar indicating when to expect another deterioration in mood. These periods cause a dramatic change in the baby's behavior. Not everyone has heard of them, since others are more often heard, and babies are somehow unreasonably forgotten, but this does not mean that they do not experience similar problems in their few months old.
What is a crisis schedule for a child under one year old?
According to the observations of child psychologists, for many years who have studied the behavior of infants, their whole life is divided into light and dark moments. In the table of crises that lie in wait for a child under the age of one year, which they compiled, this is expressed in the form of weeks of the baby's life, going in order. Each of them is colored either neutral (white) or gray - the very beginning of the crisis. Black means directly the time of crisis, and a cloud with rain, apparently, mother's tears - those days when parents are ready to climb the wall.
But not everything is so bad and hopeless, because in addition to gray-black periods, there are also sunny ones, when the baby is cheerful, active and enjoys life in the literal sense of the word. In total, up to a year, there are 7 crisis periods - 5, 8, 12, 19, 26, 37 and 46 weeks. They last from two to five days and have their own characteristics.
Why do crises occur in a child under one year old?
Having carefully looked at the calendar of crises of a child under one year old, you can see some regularity - the "black" days are always followed by sunny ones, and there are not so few of them, and you definitely should not fall into despair.
But why these unpleasant time periods occur is not entirely clear. It turns out that it is they who indicate that the baby is growing up. The fact is that at this time there is a so-called growth spurt, but not physically, but psychologically. It's just like a child wears the same pants all winter, and then over the summer it grows sharply by 3 sizes and these are no longer pants, but shorts.
The same thing happens with the psyche, which is very vulnerable in babies. As soon as the child begins to perceive himself as something separate from his mother, the first crisis occurs. Then he realizes that he has a right to his own feelings - and this is the second and so on.
It is impossible to completely avoid crises of the first year. But to mitigate their manifestation is quite within the power of parents, especially mom, since the baby trusts her the most. In acute periods, it is necessary to spend as much time with the child as possible.
Body contact is very important, especially in the first half of the year. It is necessary to talk with the baby, swing in his arms, show affection and care. Then he will not feel such anxiety, because the mother's confidence will gradually be transferred to him.
Most child psychologists agree that for a child age crises are simply necessary, without surviving them, the baby will not be able to fully develop. Stable and crisis periods alternate in a child's life - this is a kind of law of development of the child's psyche.
As a rule, crises pass quite quickly - in just a few months, while periods of stability are much longer. But, it is worth noting that an unfavorable combination of circumstances can significantly increase the duration of the crisis period, sometimes a hectic period in a baby's life can last a year or more.
During a crisis, the child undergoes a significant developmental shift, the model of his behavior changes, usually, these periods are short-lived, but quite stormy.
It is rather difficult to determine the beginning and end of the crisis, usually at this time the child practically does not lend itself to education, persuasions and agreements that were successfully used by parents earlier do not work, the baby's behavior becomes inexplicable, the reaction to various situations is quite violent.
Many parents note that during periods of crisis, children become more capricious, whining, outbursts of anger and hysteria appear. But, do not forget that each child is individual and each specific crisis can proceed in different ways.
For the child, this period also does not pass unnoticed, it is difficult for him to find a common language with others, the baby has an internal conflict.
There are several age-related crises:
In order to know how to behave with a baby in a certain period of life, you need to know when crisis periods occur, the calendar of age crises of the child will help to calculate them, it will tell you when your baby will react especially violently to what is happening around, and when you should pay maximum attention to your child.
Let's take a closer look at how the baby's behavior changes during periods of crisis and how parents should behave.
Lactation crises
Lactation crises, that is, a decrease in milk production against the background of established lactation, pass rather quickly, usually within a few days. The main condition during this period is unlimited attachment of the baby to the breast, night feeding. As a rule, lactation crises occur in the first month of a baby's life, at 3 months, 7, 11 and 12 months.
Traditionally, this is explained by the fact that the baby needs more milk than the mother produces. During these periods, the baby becomes more restless, he cries after feeding, demanding an additional portion. The frequency of breastfeeding increases during this period. As a rule, for a baby, lactation crises at 1 and 3 months do not pose any threat or danger.
In order for this period to pass as quickly as possible, the mother should follow the regimen, do not worry or panic. In this case, lactation is getting better by itself rather quickly. The main thing is not to stop feeding the baby, to apply it to the breast as often as possible. Do not feed or supplement the child during this period, refuse to calm down with a pacifier.
It is worth noting that lactation crises are less likely to occur in mothers who are confident in the success of breastfeeding and are trained to properly latch on to the breast.
Baby's first year crisis
Almost all babies experience a crisis at the end of the first year of life. At this age, many children already begin to walk on their own, pronounce the first words, try to dress and eat without the help of adults. As a rule, at this time, the child responds with capriciousness to the excessive desire of the parents to help him in everything and to take care of him.
New skills give the baby the opportunity to feel independent, but at the same time, the child begins to feel fear that he is losing his mother. Girls usually go through this crisis a little earlier than boys for about one and a half years, but for boys these worries pass closer to two years.
How should parents behave at this difficult time? During the first age crisis, the baby has a huge need to communicate with his mother, he wants to be with her always, without retreating a single step. If the mother needs to leave, then the child begins to be capricious and bored, and upon returning he asks for his arms, tries to draw attention to himself in various ways.
Mom, in order to be able to go about her business, you should first take time for the baby, play with him, read books, talk. Having enjoyed the presence of mommy, the child will soon want to play on their own.
Very often, parents meet with a manifestation of stubbornness during this period of their baby's life. The child may refuse to eat, walk, or protest dressing. Thus, your baby is trying to prove his adulthood and independence. A child's favorite toy can come to your aid: a toy car or a doll is going for a walk, and the bunny behaves well at the table.
At the end of this period, your baby will receive new knowledge about himself, his capabilities and the world around him, previously unknown character traits will appear. Remember that if this period is unfavorable, then a violation in the correctness of development is possible.
How to survive a two-year-old baby's crisis?
At this age, the baby begins a vigorous research activity, trying to figure out what can and cannot be done. This is necessary for the child to determine the boundaries of what is permissible for himself and to feel that he is safe.
Psychologists explain this quite simply: the baby's behavior model is formed on the basis of the reaction of mom and dad to this or that action on the part of the baby, if the reaction is natural, then it is postponed in the child as a norm, if the reaction of the parents differs from the usual - the baby is not will feel safe.
It is important for parents to understand that such a check on the part of the baby is not a whim, but a desire to make sure that everything is in order. It is worth remembering that over time, your child will have to face resistance from other people and the environment.
Parents during this period of development it is worth clearly setting the boundaries of what can be done and what absolutely cannot be done. In no case should one deviate from this prohibition. If you succumb to pity, allow something from the forbidden, then the child will instantly feel his power and will try to manipulate you.
Each parent must find ways to influence the baby on their own, guided by the individuality of the child, because a hint is enough for someone, someone only reacts to a shout, and some understand the parents' requirements only after the conversation.
It is worth noting that the absence of the public is recognized as the most effective way to stop hysteria, therefore, psychologists sometimes recommend ignoring the whims and tantrums of the baby.
What should parents do if the child has a tantrum? First, do not gratify the child's desire, you must firmly adhere to your inhibitions. Secondly, do not try to switch the child's attention, this method is suitable only for very young children. Thirdly, try to briefly and succinctly explain to the whims why his requirements will not be met. If the child comes up to you for reassurance, do not push him away and try to discuss the situation that has arisen when the baby will return to normal.
3 year toddler crisis
Almost all babies experience behavioral changes between the ages of two and three - the so-called three-year crisis. At this time, children become capricious, their behavior is not changing for the better: tantrums, protest, outbursts of anger and aggression, self-will, negativity and stubbornness - you have never seen your child like that. All these manifestations of the crisis are associated with the fact that it is at this age that the child begins to position himself as an independent person, shows his will.
The child needs to be given the opportunity to choose, for this, parents must use some kind of tricks, for example, let the baby choose the dishes from which he will eat or from two blouses the one that he wants to wear for a walk.
Hysterical fits, throwing things and toys on the floor during this period is quite natural. It is worth worrying only if the child cannot get out of the state of hysteria or they are repeated several times a day.
Try with all sorts of persuasions and explanations to prevent the baby from getting hysterical, because preventing it is often easier than stopping it. The most important thing that mothers and fathers should remember is that the child should not be allowed to get what he wants during a hysteria.
Does it ever happen that a three-year-old child does not have a crisis? Rather, it happens that this period passes quickly and does not make significant changes in the character and behavior of the baby.
A child aged 4-5 is naughty - how to deal with it?
The most difficult childhood age crisis is considered the crisis period, which falls on the age of three. And now, it would seem, when this period was left behind, a lull should come, but suddenly the child becomes restless, capricious, demanding again. What is the reason for this?
In psychology, the crisis of 4-5 years is not noted by specialists, rather, on the contrary, at this time the baby should become more resistant to various situations and stimuli, at this age the baby's speech formation period ends, the child can clearly and logically express his thoughts. Right now he feels a great need to communicate with peers.
Kids aged 4-5 years old fantasize well, show interest in learning, curiosity. So what can affect the psychological state of a baby at this age? As a rule, a lack of communication can provoke a crisis in a child 4-5 years old.
Children attending preschool institutions, sections and circles rarely experience a crisis at the age of 4-5 years. Therefore, if you notice that a child has become capricious or, on the contrary, too withdrawn, then, most likely, this is an excuse to expand his circle of communication with peers.
A crisis in a child at 7 years old - what to do?
The crisis of a seven-year-old child, like the crisis of a three-year-old, is accompanied by an abrupt change in behavior. During this period, it seems that the child does not hear the remarks and requests of adults, and at this time the child allows himself to deviate from the permissible framework: he argues, makes a reservation, makes a face. Quite often, a seven-year-old child's crisis is associated with the beginning of his educational activity.
It is worth remembering that the child's psyche is rather complex and unpredictable, therefore this crisis period may begin earlier (at the age of 5-6) or later (8-9 years). The main reason for this crisis is that the baby overestimates his capabilities.
How does the crisis manifest itself at the age of 7? Has your baby quickly become tired, irritable, nervous, unexplained outbursts of anger and rage? Then it's time to sound the alarm, or rather, to be more attentive to the child. At this time, the child may be too active, or, on the contrary, withdraw into himself. He seeks to imitate adults in everything, he has anxiety and fears, as well as self-doubt.
By the age of seven, the game gradually fades into second place, giving way to training. Now the child learns the world in a completely different way. This process is rather associated not with the beginning of school, but with the fact that the child revises his own personality. At this time, the child learns to be aware of his emotions, now he understands why he is upset or experiencing joy. The baby is painfully worried if his inner "I" does not correspond to the ideal
3rd Sep 2017
Hello dear readers! In this article I will tell you what age-related crises are in a child, how to deal with them and how to use the calendar of developmental crises for children under one year old. This information is essential if you want to help your little one get through these crises as painlessly as possible!
A leap in development - what is it?
If you are a mother, you have probably already noticed that sometimes the child seems to be replaced - everything was fine, and suddenly the kid is naughty all day and does not get off your hands. Also, you could pay attention to the fact that the child develops in leaps and bounds: then a month does not grow at all, and then immediately grows 3 cm per week; it will not turn over in any way, then one day it will begin to twirl and crawl; then only hums for weeks, and then suddenly once - and three new words!
Don't be scared - this is quite normal! The point is that everything children grow in jumps... Research has even identified some kind of brain waves that occur in the brain exactly during these surges. Especially often, changes in brain radiation occur in infants up to 1.5 years old, which fully explains the rapid growth of children in the first year of life. And it is at these moments that the child suddenly learns something new, on his own, without your participation! Can you imagine it? It’s as if a certain program is laid in the little people, and everyone clicks something at the same time - and bam, the child suddenly began to focus his vision, grab a toy, crawl, talk, walk. A truly phenomenal phenomenon ...
Why are growth spikes called crises?
This question was once asked by my grandfather. If this word is not to your liking, you will soon feel that such a stage cannot be called otherwise than a crisis. Babies are actually conservatives. Therefore, every change in external conditions (change of time zones, different regime, change of weather, new place) is not easy for them. Learning a new skill turns everything upside down! Imagine falling asleep in your bed and waking up on another planet. This is approximately how a baby can feel during a growth spurt.
Therefore, the child begins to show his displeasure. Indeed, he was only used to his feelings, to the routine - and again nothing is clear. And it is also very difficult for him - both physically and mentally. Every growth spurt carries with it a radical change in the baby's outlook... Then he starts crying more, whining, being capricious and grabbing at the saving straw - for his mother. Only she has remained unchanged, only she can help, comfort, caress. That is why, during crises, the child constantly asks for pens, which causes his mother's indignation: "How? After all, he just learned to play / sleep / crawl himself! "... Well, you have to be patient. The whole secret is that with each such growth spurt the baby makes a "rollback", but only for a while, so that later he will surprise you with even greater independence. Two steps forward - one back.
Yes, this is a difficult time for both the child and the parents. All that is needed is a little patience. Life will get better soon! But only for a while ...
When does growth spurt occur?
In the first year of life, crises follow one after another, practically not giving the mother an opportunity to breathe out calmly. But each time the crisis time will be shorter and the breaks will be longer. Once upon a time, you will have to fight monsters only once a year! In the meantime ... Take a look at the calendar of developmental crises of a child under one year old. 
In fact, this is a calendar up to one and a half years, but as you can see, after a year there are only two growth spikes. Until a year, there are as many as 8 pieces! In subsequent articles I will talk about each crisis separately - what it will bring and how to handle it. I will share my experience in overcoming difficulties and the joy of the passed stage. So don't miss it, subscribe to new articles!
How to use the crisis calendar?
Numbers on the calendar mean the ordinal number of the week of the baby's life. At first, you know exactly how old the baby is, but after three months you will already start to lose count. Therefore, in my articles, I will count weeks into months. In general, it is better to get yourself a counter on your smartphone or computer, so as not to waste your time later on calculations.
Week numbers marked in black - these are the very crises. As you can see, they can last anywhere from one to five weeks! This does not mean that all this time there will be continuous whims, and not a moment of calm. It just gets a little harder and you have to put in more effort.
A cloud over a week is a growth spurt. The most difficult test for mom. It is at this moment that the child can become simply unbearable. Don't forget that it's hard for him too! This usually does not last all week, but only 2-3 days.
The sun after the crisis - a real reward for mom for all her efforts. If the baby is not sick, he again becomes smiling, active, full of energy, and you will feel like the happiest person in the world!
Bright weeks on the calendar - quiet time. Enjoy, build strength for the next crisis.
Personally, the calendar helped me a lot in the first months of my daughter's life! When I wondered why she was behaving so badly, I immediately opened this picture and looked to see if there was another growth spurt this week. In all cases, everything was the same!
How to cope with a child's age crises?
Children under one year old are still very dependent on mom and dad. In the first months, their life literally depends on whether their mother is nearby. therefore do not deprive your child of the attention he needs... Don't compare it with others! Let the son of a friend have already gone through this crisis a couple of weeks ago, and now everything is fine, but yours is not yet. Make allowances for the character of the baby - some children have, as they say, a subtle mental organization and are more difficult to endure trials, requiring more care. 
Here's what you need to do to make it as easy as possible for your baby's growth spurt:
- Do not forget to check the children's age crisis calendar from time to time, then the growth spurt will not take you by surprise. Forewarned is forearmed!
- Move all the cases at the time of the crisis. Often, mothers are more nervous that they begin to do less, not cope with cleaning and cooking, or let their superiors down if the mother has to work. Show the calendar to your husband and explain that you need more help. Don't take extra work. And keep in mind that for a couple of weeks you won't be able to really go about your business.
- Pay as much attention to your child as possible. Even if (even more so if) he aches and annoys you. Instead of getting angry, take the baby in your arms and sing a song, dance and kiss. Trust me, it helps! You will often notice that mom's cheerfulness helps the crisis end much faster... Take pity on your baby and often carry it on your hands (in a sling). Now he urgently needs direct contact with his mother.
- Don't forget to replenish your energy! A difficult time takes more energy from us, which means that they need to be replenished more often in order to survive the next crisis without losses and unnecessary nerves.
- Change your environment. If possible, go with your family to nature, meet with friends, especially if they also have children, go to playgrounds more often, meet new people and show your baby the world. Many, on the contrary, lock themselves in four walls, believing that with such a capricious child you cannot go anywhere, but this is fundamentally wrong! Outside your home it is very interesting, and this will distract the baby from his problems, and you will scatter - now you need it more than ever.
That's all the secrets to recognizing growth spikes and overcoming the difficulties associated with them! Nothing complicated, right? However, there are parents who have no idea about any crises and every time they are perplexed, spend their nerves, and even money on doctors, thinking that something is wrong with the child ... Show this article to your friends - let them also be in the subject !
Wish you all the best!
