Do you know what is the secret of family happiness and well-being? It is very simple: the main thing is that the wife is happy, then she will take care of everything else. How to make her happy? Everything is not at all as complicated as it might seem at first glance.
Marital happiness is very often compared to the honeycomb that two bees build, and the more they work, the sweeter the honey inside becomes. Many people ask why they are deprived of happiness, harmony in family relationships and how to get them back? There is no doubt that the happiness of the family primarily depends on the spouses themselves.
The main condition is that there is mutual understanding between them. It is important that they are united by love, but not that frivolous love that flares up and goes out suddenly, but that in which spiritual harmony and tender noble feelings are combined. But how can you make your wife happy?
1. It is important that you both have a common outlook on life.
2. Try to help your wife with household chores.
3. Try not to pay attention to some of your wife's shortcomings and always remember that her virtues, noble qualities will cover up minor shortcomings. If you do not like one quality in her, then you will be satisfied with her other quality.
4. Be gentle and affectionate towards your wife, joke with her, take care of her.
5. Listen to your wife's criticism with patience and generosity.
6. Be kind to wives and children. The best of you are the ones who treat your family the best.
7. If you treat your family members kindly, they will treat you kindly, filling your life with happiness.
8. Do not skimp on your wife, yourself or children, but spend your money only on good things. All your family expenses will be rewarded. Prophet Muhammad said: "The best money is the money spent on the family." Do not reproach your wife for supporting her. This is your responsibility. If you reproach your wife with this, then you lose the reward for this good deed.
9. Never humiliate your wife, because it will leave a mark on her heart for a long time. The most dangerous humiliations - those that your wife can forgive in words, but can never forgive in her heart - is an insult when you are angry, curses against her parents, accusations of infidelity, etc.
10. If you treat your wife well, then she will reciprocate. Let her feel that you put her happiness above yours, that you care about her health and are ready to sacrifice a lot to heal her during her illness.
11. Remember that your wife always wants to be aware of everything that is happening with you, so talk to her more often. When you return home, try not to be gloomy, gloomy, silent and gloomy. All of this can cause fear and suspicion in your wife.
12. Don't expect your wife to take an interest in your professional interests. Therefore, if you, for example, are a professor of astronomy, do not expect that your wife will be worried about the state of the stars and planets.
13. Be direct and honest, and then your wife will be the same. Do not leave reservations - this can lead to doubt in each other.
14. Beware of causing your wife to feel jealous with intentionally or accidentally thrown words that you have been offered to marry a second wife. Don't show your delight to another woman. All this can deeply hurt your wife's heart, make her worry and doubt you, which, in turn, negatively affect her health, as well as her attitude towards you.
15. Don't remind your wife of her handicaps or mistakes, especially in front of strangers. Do not reproach her.
16. Watch your behavior and try to transform, educate yourself, because not only your wife is obliged to do this. Don't hold on to your old bad habits. Avoid anything that might anger your wife, even if it's just a joke.
17. Try to adopt the positive qualities of your wife.
18. Always be calm and never get angry, for anger is the source of hatred between people. If you have offended your wife, then immediately apologize to her. Do not go to bed angry with your wife while she is offended and crying. Try to understand that the thing that made you angry and cursed is a petty thing, not worthy of your wife's tears.
19. Let your wife feel confident in herself. Do not make her your shadow, which meekly follows you, fulfilling all your whims. On the contrary, encourage her to have her own correct outlook on life. Consult her in all matters. Listen to her decisions, if you see that she is right, and let her know about it. If you disagree with her, then try to persuade her tactfully and politely.
20. Whenever your wife is worthy of praise and gratitude, do not skimp on kind words addressed to her.
21. Do not reproach or scold your wife. Do not compare her to your relatives whom you admire, and do not strive to ensure that your wife imitates them in everything.
22. Try to give your wife the opportunity to get an education. If she wants to get a diploma in any industry, then support her, unless this contradicts the principles of our religion and does not interfere with her performance of her marital duties and household chores. Whenever she succeeds, encourage her, do not skimp on praise.
23. Listen carefully to your wife when she starts a conversation, as this helps her to pour out her soul and get rid of many mental problems. Avoid accusations of lying during a conversation and do not make her angry. There are, however, some women who talk excessively, like to gossip, criticize her husband's relatives. In such cases, you need to treat them wisely, you should calmly, warn them against such conversations and their unwanted consequences.
24. May your wife always feel safe from any misfortune, may she be sure that you will never offend or leave her.
25. Let your wife feel that you will always financially take care of her, no matter how rich she is. Never try to take possession of her inheritance from her father. Do not skimp on her, even if she is very rich, because she needs the feeling that you are truly her father's replacement.
26. Do not let your love for your wife prevent you from loving your parents or relatives. Each of them should receive their share of your love. Love everyone without depriving anyone. This will ensure harmony in family relationships.
27. In all areas of life, treat your wife the way you would like her to treat you.
28. Visit her family and relatives, maintain good relations with them, full of love and respect.
29. Don't make your wife jealous of your livelihood job. Don't stay longer at work than necessary. Don't be too time-consuming to work, especially at the end of the week. Do not deprive your wife of the joy of being together with you at home or somewhere else, so that she does not get bored and yearned.
30. When leaving the house, ask your wife to smile and pray for you. When returning, do not come home unexpectedly. Let her be ready to meet you in the form in which she wants to appear before you, especially if you are returning from a long trip.
The discussion on an article I reprinted from Maxpark, "What makes a good husband, whom his wife cheated on," revealed two polar opposite positions, as, in fact, expected.
The men refused to admit such an outcome of events, proceeding from from an unreasonable judgments - a good wife does not change, and if she has cheated, then she is not good, and she must be persecuted (punish; punish so that it is disgraceful; punished so that ...).
Women, one way or another, justified their wife, occasionally citing arguments similar with the listed male, but more often they still justified. In a fairly wide range of opinions - from "do not care and forget" to "so he needs it." One lady decided to look at the root of the problem and demanded an explanation from me on what basis I teach all women and whether I have the appropriate permission. Honestly, I don’t have permission, and I don’t teach ALL women. I share my views, and those who have ears, if they want, will hear.
Now, if I may, I would like to move on to my assessment of the situation described in the above article. What should a good husband do if his wife cheated on him? Never mind. He had already done everything that was possible to make her cheat on him. Now we need to talk only about the construction of new relations between people who were quite familiar before, but who have become strangers to each other, people who, perhaps to this day, are in legally secured relations. To restore what what happened before is impossible. And this must be accepted.
As a lyrical digression, I want to recall the opinion I have already published more than once about the differences in the assessment of betrayal on the part of men and women.
Briefly - for a man, betrayal of his wife is treachery (just like that - breaking faith, because besides faith in his wife, the husband has no objective tools to know whose child he is raising. ). A man can forgive betrayal - this increases his self-esteem, but he will never forget that someone else entered HIS woman. This is not forgotten.
For a woman, her husband's betrayal is the destruction of the fundamental basis that she was born the best. Or, as the women commented, being overthrown from a pedestal. But on a pedestal you can climb again and the winner. Therefore, women come up with palliative excuses for her husband's betrayal - "all men are males", "so what, after all he returned", "this is not treason, only physical contact, and there was no spiritual betrayal (something like masturbation)." I would not like to upset anyone, as the famous TV presenter condemns, but women are mistaken in the motives that justify men, but they are right in essence.
Best of all illustrates the attitude of men and women to infidelity is an obscene anecdote, which I will try to present with the utmost delicacy. An experienced husband explains to his young wife the difference in male and female infidelity:
- we are a family - one whole, don't you agree?
- yes, I agree, the wife answers,
- then you have to understand that when I f ... y - this is us - e ... m, and when you e ... t, then it is us e ... t.
Rough, but sure. From the perspective of men. Yes, and among women, with the specification of the rules for using pronouns - "we" and "us", objections should diminish. I would like, at least, to believe in it.
We need some more clarifications. A woman is a much more valuable object for Nature. But a woman, in connection with the fulfillment of natural duties, has to endure a lot and experience regular inconveniences. Apparently, in order of compensation, the Lord God awarded its potential a wealth of sensations. If you use to compare the analogy from the field of wind instruments, the sensations of a man can be likened to a whistle. A locomotive or policeman. The only difference is in loudness and, in part, in duration.
A woman's sensations are like an organ. With different tones and registers. Hence, the answer to the question is logical - is it reasonable to let everyone play this instrument?
As for men, out of a desire to listen to how "it" whistles, it is interesting to offer to whistle to all the "waxwings" they meet on the way. Some, by the way, turn out to be literally masters of artistic whistling, which attracts unlucky whistle owners.
But letting drummers or cymbalists pass by to play on such a complex and valuable instrument as the organ is only possible out of despair or fear that the instrument will come unstuck due to prolonged disuse. The desire to find, finally, a real tuner, and not to use the services of a deaf artisan, who may be cute, and carefully wipes the dust from the instrument, may also be in demand, but one should not expect from him the performance of masterpieces.
If we return from musical themes to evolutionary ones, then the woman is inclined to maintain the constancy of the relationship (if there are any), and the man may also well interrupt polygamous searches. Especially when, with age, it becomes more and more overgrown with emotional values and begins to feel comfortable in a conservative position, which I, for the sake of community, call "female protective".
Having established the main trends, we can figure out what should be done so that the spouses do not look for what they do not receive at home on the side. I must say right away that the best result will be obtained if both efforts are made. Marriage in general is a big and, perhaps, the most important work in a person's life, regardless of gender.
I will note in passing that a common cause is the most important material for building a family. In the afternoon. And sex is an indispensable tool for consolidating what has been achieved as a result of a common cause.
Woman is an organ. And the organ requires, first of all, tuning. A fine ear is required of the tuner. Men - listen to your women. Women - don't hide feelings from your men.
Speaking about the need to “listen,” I in a small degree urge to analyze each of the eight thousand words - the minimum that a woman must utter a day, so as not to feel like a prisoner of Chateau Gaillard, whose mouth was sewn up with threads. I'm talking about their feelings that arise in communication with a man.
Watch together the videos that are widespread in the US and are easy to find on the net. Videos on female sexuality.
How technically a man and a woman will play their melodies and fugues is a purely private affair. But the important thing is that the woman should be the first to reach the onset of orgasm. Then the entire score will be played at the right tempo and with high sound quality. I would venture to assert that a woman who has found her organist will not run around with offers to play with her the "forgotten melody for the flute" to all the minstrels she meets with their shepherd's horns.
A man is not a very difficult instrument in sexual terms and will be quite satisfied with the performance of his part in a single ensemble with his woman, unless, in between performances, he is not taught life like an unintelligent child.
To warm up RI, I recommend that all women think about why the prospect of drinking a beer in a friends' campaign or going fishing is much more attractive than a visit to your mom, with whom you can discuss for the one hundred and twenty-fifth time the school affairs of children or a visit to the theater. Problems discussed with mom and girlfriends can be really important and relevant. But they can be discussed with your man once. At most - two. It is not comfortable for men to pound water in a mortar, although most often they try to maintain a conversation out of decency. Women who are talking to their girlfriends or mom do not, as a rule, look for answers from them. They already have them. And talking is just a way to collect arguments in favor of your own righteousness. A man considers any conversation as an informational reason for finding some kind of solution. Which fully corresponds to their evolutionary role.
Any woman, having listened to men's conversations, will say that they are all nonsense. Men will say the same about women's conversations. Both will be right. Between a man and a woman living in marriage, every day there is a contact of two differently arranged EIs.
The woman tries to find in the conversation confirmation of the correctness of her prejudices, developed by her heuristics.
The man, in response to every prejudice he hears, tries to find a way to adapt it for subsequent use in the arsenal of his heuristics. And when no coincidences and matches can be found, then the heard prejudice is rejected as false. This is the dilemma - for a woman, this prejudice is true (it is her own), and for a man it is false (it does not go into any gate).
The best topic of conversation between a woman and a man is a common cause. Here, all the prejudices are for the most part similar and, accordingly, are perceived as true to the complete satisfaction of the spouses.
So, let's summarize briefly on the topic of what a man should actually do so that his wife does not cheat, from the point of view of Emotional Intelligence.
Since I have already told about phenomenological concept, according to which EI includes all instincts, reflexes, skills, habits and heuristics, I can say, without explaining in detail, that the most important task facing a man is to synchronize his emotional intelligence and that of his woman. With the addition of peppercorns - one of the new heuristics of a woman should regularly remind her - everything that she has in a relationship with her man confirms that she is the best, it is unthinkable to lose this.
And the most important task of a woman is to help her man synchronize EI without stupidly trying to impose her biases, which are developed by her heuristics that are not relevant to the case. The best way to do this is through common business. And after a common cause - good sex, in which she has an important part.
The only exception.
The leading instinct of a woman is falling in love. And nothing can be done about instincts. If it suddenly happens that even after well-established harmonious relations, this happened to a woman - she fell in love, then there is no need to torture her and, especially, give logical arguments. Logic does not work for a woman in love. Bless her and let her go. It will count for you.
Modern representatives of the fair half of humanity are no longer the weaker sex, as they used to think. Wives try to rise above their husbands, trying to infringe and humiliate them. Some ladies openly cheat on their husbands, showing disrespect and causing pain. Will such persons treat the spouse with due respect? Perhaps, but a man needs to try hard.
It is interesting. The sensational story of the wife's disdainful attitude towards her betrothed made the male population rejoice. An Egyptian lady showed her husband dissatisfaction with his salary and the constant lack of money in the family. The country's authorities have introduced a law that states that a husband has the right to file for divorce if his wife reproaches him for insolvency. The Chief Justice upheld the decision in every possible way, considering such a harsh statement groundless.
Method 1. Love your own "I"
A spouse will not respect a husband who is dismissive of his own person.
Husbands who cater to their wives need to change strategy. Do you buy expensive things and perfume for your beloved, while you yourself wear worn jeans? Be careful, girls quickly get used to good things. Perhaps that is why the spouse has ceased to respect you, she has the impression that her husband is not worthy of more.
Don't be humiliated. Refuse unpalatable food if it really is. You are an adult, worthy man in need of high-quality and healthy food. Keep fit, eat right, sign up for a gym. Ladies love sculpted abs and broad shoulders.
Did your spouse buy a T-shirt at a sale that looks disgusting on you? Make a doormat out of it.
A girl dresses in expensive boutiques, pays half her salary for Botticelli shoes, while buying her husband cheap T-shirts with a crooked print? Stop allocating money on a whim by making it clear that you are the "leader of the pack."
The situations described are a drop in the sea of humiliation of male pride. Defend your point of view even in petty situations, love yourself and do not let your wife suppress the male ego. Go to a good store, get an expensive watch and nice shoes, because the budget is common.
Method 2. Become self-sufficient
Constantly look for options for additional income. Don't live off a paycheck, struggling to make ends meet. Most women blame their husbands for material poverty, as a result of which they cease to respect them. This is logical. There are no such ladies eager to marry a man sitting at home watching TV with a bottle of beer in hand instead of getting down to business.
Is there a question about a small salary? Reassure the woman that you are trying to provide for the family. She made a vow at the altar to be with her husband in sorrow and in joy, in wealth and in poverty, reproaches are extremely inappropriate here. However, the advice on additional income remains relevant.
Get rid of laziness, read literature, develop and lead your loved one with you. The man is the guiding line, the wife is the guided. Take the initiative and do not shy away from funny ideas, women love an extraordinary approach.
Method 3. Take care of your spouse's re-education
Tied the knot with an eccentric lady? We'll have to work hard. Temperamental persons are difficult to "train", they already have a certain temperament and, by and large, such girls do not want to change anything.
Men who praise their woman should reconsider their position. Stop indulging her, learn to say "No!" When a controversial issue arises. Pay attention to what exactly the spouse is unhappy with, then try to convey your own point of view in a calm voice.
Does your wife complain about your constant absence from work? Make it clear that making money from home is difficult. If the arguments are not convincing, invite the girl to start working from the couch next to you.
Fighting with your wife because, in her opinion, you pay little attention to the child? Make a compromise, show the qualities of a caring father. Show that even when you're tired, you care about your family.
Method 4. Become an attentive lover
From women you can often hear the phrases "My husband and I have boring and monotonous sex!" or "My spouse does not satisfy me!" Become a considerate lover so that your wife looks forward to home from work in the evenings.
Sex in married people often loses its spark and becomes commonplace. Watch an erotic movie together, flirt on the phone, discuss secret fantasies. For every talented lover there is a more experienced male, improve the skills gained and experiment. Light the candle of desire again!
Method 5. Leave room for the puzzle
Do you earn good money, occupy a high position, but your wife has lost respect for you? Stop spoiling her. It is clear that you are ready to fulfill any whims, but in everything you need to know when to stop. No wonder Pushkin wrote "The more we love a woman, the less she likes us ...". Do not run forward to fulfill all the wishes of your beloved, leave room for some riddle, you are not an open book. Let the lady ask for a favor, showing her need. This way you can gradually remove the crown from her.
Did your wife give you a beautiful (absolutely unnecessary) writing pen for your birthday? Reciprocate.
Does the girl take her time to share family stories? And you shouldn't amuse her with stories about the events of the past weekend.
As a rule, wives cease to respect their husbands for their own reasons. Some are unhappy with the lack of attention to their person, others want to live like queens, others do everything themselves without support from outside. Identify the true motives for behavior and take action. Where the carrot is powerless, try the whip.
Video: how to teach a woman to respect a man
At a meeting of classmates, a married man pestered me with a question: "Tell me, since you are a sex specialist, how can I make my wife and I have sex more often?" To my clarifications about life with his wife, in general, he replied that he has been married for more than 10 years and his family life is completely satisfied.
I got off with general phrases, realizing that a man does not see the picture as a whole, but expects from me a magic pill, an instant decision on this issue. Like, there are secret phrases that affect women, or special gifts, a romantic evening by candlelight, perfumes with aphrodisiacs, or special days when a woman herself pounces on a man, etc.
But there are no magic pills. Even if you are going to buy sexy panties.
Imagine that two friends decide to rent an apartment and share the rent. That is, it is quite pleasant for them to communicate with each other and it is economically beneficial to live together.
Now imagine that these two people are of different sexes and from time to time may experience sexual attraction to each other, with a mutual desire they have sex, in the absence of desire - each satisfies the need for bodily feeling with another partner.
And there are no problems. Everything is simple and comfortable. BUT! If these people call their attraction Love and put a stamp in their passports, then everything will immediately become very complicated for them.
Now, for some reason, a man must take upon himself all the material support, and a woman must pass off sex on demand for this. And if she does not do this, then it is unpleasant and you need to force her somehow. But this is pointless.
That is, the first thing you need to say to yourself is that feelings are one thing, and economic agreements are another.
Basically, marriage is an agreement between two people to run a joint household.
If a woman is not interested in sex, you cannot inflame her, and you need to look elsewhere for satisfaction of your sexual desire.
If a woman loves sex, and you always felt some harmony in sex (you didn’t have to beg anyone, you always had sex with mutual pleasure, in a rhythm that is comfortable for both), then you can “extend” the feelings with some inner journey beyond the boundaries of the usual in sex.
In any case, both should be interested in this. Some couples go to sexual trainings: together or in turns, they are fond of all kinds of tantric practices, go to saunas, try swingers, toys, etc.
But all the same, according to my observations, if the sexual attraction began to decline in a pair, it is impossible to reanimate it. But it is quite possible to remain friends and continue to run a common household, and share sexual feelings with another person.
Sincerely,
15 tips for making your wife happy
How to make your wife happy? Do you know the most important secret of family happiness and what does it consist of? But it is quite simple: "It is very important that the wife be happy, and then she, without difficulty, will set the right direction for your marriage and everyone will be happy." If one of the spouses is unhappy, then the marriage will fall apart in no time. 15 tips on how to make your wife happy Do not forget that any woman loves to hear compliments in her address, and a compliment from her beloved man “inspires” a woman doubly. Talk to her more often about her merits, and she will be just happy from your attention. It is very important to have a common outlook on life, this is ...
Overview
Do you know the most important secret of family happiness and what does it consist of? But he is quite simple: "It is very important that the wife is happy, and then she, without difficulty, will set the right direction for your marriage and everyone will be." If one of the spouses is unhappy, then the marriage will fall apart in no time.
- Do not forget that any woman loves to hear compliments addressed to her, and a compliment from a beloved man “inspires” a woman doubly. Talk to her more often about her merits, and she will be just happy from your attention.
- It is very important to have a common outlook on life, this will help you avoid many conflicts and disagreements, as well as easily come to common decisions.
- Help your spouse handle household chores. After all, you are not the only one who gets tired after a long and hard day at work. Believe me, women value home help very highly.
- If your wife criticizes you in some moments, try to listen to her, since she does this only for the good, and not with the aim of offending you. In turn, she will also adequately perceive criticism from your side and try to please you.
- Don't skimp on purchases for your spouse. Of course, we are not talking about 2 fur coats per season or 10 dresses for the summer, everything should be in moderation, just remember for yourself that denying your beloved woman everything is far from the best option. Often it is on this basis that many quarrels occur in families.
- Never give your wife a reason to doubt your and loyalty. Jealousy and suspicion are destructive feelings for any relationship. If you are late for, be sure to call and warn her about it. And in general, it is better not to have too serious secrets from each other, because sooner or later everything secret becomes apparent.
- Never reproach your wife or speak rudely about her shortcomings, especially in the presence of strangers. This will hurt your spouse very much, and even if you make peace over time, those around you will not forget about it and will doubt your relationship. Believe me, it will really upset your loved one.
- In no case should your wife remain your shadow, she should feel confident in herself. Always listen to her opinion and, if it is really correct, do not forget to tell her about it. If your spouse is wrong, talk about it tactfully, without sarcasm.
- Do not try to remake your wife, because earlier she suited you exactly the way she is. And in no case compare her with your mother or other relatives, and even more so do not strive for the fact that she would imitate them.
- Do not skimp on affection, tenderness, because any woman is pleased when she receives from her husband a whole range of feelings and emotions.
- The better you treat your family, the better your spouse will be. You should not be too strict, picky, in life there is already enough negativity, so try to make sure that an atmosphere of love and mutual understanding reigns at home.
- Trust is the foundation of a lasting marriage. Trust your spouse, do not interfere with her meetings with friends, because sometimes even the happiest woman needs the opportunity to spend the day outside the family and relax a little.
- Always try with his wife, what kind of marriage without communication? Even if you are not interested in some topic, you should understand that since the wife has started talking about it, then it is important for her.
- Don't forget to surprise your wife. Of course, now we are not talking about gifts, a woman will be happy even with a bouquet of wildflowers or a romantic dinner by candlelight, because this is a sure sign that you care about her.
- Intimate relationships are not the last moment in the relationship between spouses. Sex should be desired by both, and should not become commonplace. Try to satisfy in bed not only your own, but also her desires.
In order to make my wife happy, always remember one simple truth - life is built on the principle of a boomerang, and all the good that you do for your wife will definitely come back to you. Remember to always treat people the way you would like them to treat you.
