- Emotional reasons that prevent you from letting go of the old relationship
- Cognitive reasons that prevent you from forgetting a loved one
- Three easy steps to forget the person you love
- Psychologist's advice: 7 simple rules
1) Unexperienced emotions of grief, sadness about parting.
No need to try to displace sadness, grief, pain, "not to feel." These feelings must be experienced in order to complete the grief of loss, loss. And separation is a loss. Allow yourself to cry, allow yourself to grieve. No need to pretend to be "" or "strong man" who have no feelings.
2) An unexpressed feeling of resentment, anger towards a person.
Often after a breakup, mental dialogues are held with a former partner, grievances and claims are expressed. Write a letter to your ex-love: describe everything you are mad at her for. After you have written the letter, attribute three P.S. Sometimes in postscripts people write the most important things they would like to say. After - tear or burn the letter, you do not need to send it to the addressee.
- Cognitive reasons that prevent you from forgetting a loved one
1) The belief that this person is the best and you will never find another as good.
Try to objectively look at the situation: if the relationship ended, most likely there were some difficulties in them. Maybe this person is really very good, but it does not suit you. And you don't know every man and woman on Earth to confidently say that this or that one was the very best.
2) Lack of faith that you can still love someone.
In a situation of emotionally unfinished relationships, experiences and feelings for another person, it is useless to imagine someone else with whom it will be good in the future. This someone will seem gray, awkward and generally inappropriate. In a state of affection for another person, it is difficult to imagine that you will love another, but because it is difficult to imagine, one should not conclude that this is impossible. Reality and real people are much more diverse than our fantasy.
3) “Linking” your hopes, plans for the future to this person.
They need to be "untied" from him. Make a list of plans that you have associated with this person (and continue to do so) and, step by step, for each business plan, draw a different perspective. For example: “We were going to go to the sea in the summer”, alternative: “I will go to the sea with a friend / girlfriend”.
- Three easy steps to forget the person you love
Step 1 - accept the situation as it is.
This is the first and most difficult step. Look at the situation from today's reality: yes, it happened; yes, the past life is destroyed; yes, there will be no miracle. Usually acceptance is accompanied by a feeling of disorientation, chaos.
Step 2 - let your feelings go.
Usually it is resentment, anger, rage. Don't push them inward. They must go outside. Tip: Cry! Pour out the rivers, the oceans of your pain. If you feel anger, take it out! Beat the dishes, growl, shout! Rip the sheet! Trample the pillow! Feelings must come out of you.
Step 3 - Tell your story.
It doesn't matter if it's a friend or a casual meeting in a cafe. Intuitively feel who you can trust with your story. Grief is a universal experience for all people, and most likely you will be heard. Once is usually not enough. Tell as many times as necessary for the wound to heal.
Usually, after completing these stages, a person experiences sadness and bright emptiness. This means that you have already accepted the situation and let go of the past. Now you are on the threshold of a new life.
There are several secrets that will greatly facilitate the period of parting, and perhaps quite quickly allow you to get out of a critical state.
To do this, you just need to follow simple rules:
1) Make a firm decision.
First you need to realize that continuing the relationship does not make sense. It is important to reach a kind of “point of no return” and say to yourself: “Stop! It's time to get out of this." This applies even to situations where you are simply suffering from unrequited love. It must be clearly understood that there is no longer a desire to suffer for this person.
2) Make room for a new life.
Before you forget a loved one, you should understand why you need it. What is bright and good should replace the former love? Often, after parting with her beloved, the girl unconsciously continues to maintain a relationship with him in her thoughts. You need to imagine and explain to yourself what good things can appear in life after parting.
3) Learn a useful lesson.
There is a very important point in how to forget a person you like - to learn and understand a lesson for yourself. This means that you need to answer the questions: “Why did I meet this person? What did he bring to my life?” If you do not identify these key findings for yourself, then it is likely that the situation will repeat itself next time.
We always attract the same type of people into our lives, so a broken relationship with one person should teach you a useful lesson for correcting the situation in the future.
4) Former love is not perfect!
You need to force yourself to find the negative sides of your relationship. Think: was everything so perfect and wonderful? Most likely, there will be many shortcomings, unpleasant memories, there will be moments that made you experience resentment and frustration in a previous relationship.
5) Accept that everything is in the past.
After the stages of learning a lesson and realizing that a loved one is far from ideal, you can mentally say goodbye to him. Send his image to the archive, let him become a part of the past. The psychology of personality confirms that a person can be forgotten only by realizing that he has remained in the past. It was good and wonderful, but it's already gone, over.
6) Get distracted by something new and interesting.
Becoming is not an option. But distraction is definitely important. It is better if you appear among people more often, engage in pleasant and interesting work. It can be travel, entertainment, hobbies. Perhaps you will even find yourself and your calling in a new hobby even faster. It is known that any crisis is a new opportunity.
7) Understand that the best healer is time.
Even doctors say that time heals. To live in anticipation and hope for the return of a loved one means to turn your life into an insignificant existence. Better believe and check that the best doctor is time. Let go of the situation and allow time to take dominion over it. You will definitely be able to survive the separation, fall in love again and become truly happy.
All of the above recommendations boil down to the fact that those who realize that life does not end, they must continue to live, work, relax, and do what they love, will be able to cope with the problem of separation.
Just passed another stage of life. And very soon there will be a new future and a new mutual love.
The material was prepared by Dilyara specifically for the site
