I don’t know how to live on. There was a suicide attempt, but they rescued in time. I cannot live without a loved one, whom I myself abandoned, because I was afraid of betrayal and that he would leave me, I suffered for a long time, then I decided to return everything, but she did not want to. He said that he no longer has feelings for me and he has another girlfriend. When he found out that I was trying to commit suicide, he said that I was just selfish, he didn’t even come to the hospital, which was very insulting. Do not judge, please, I understand that you need to try to forget, to let go, but I cannot.
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Lena, age: 06/22/2015
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Len, yes, letting go is the main thing. It is not easy, but necessary. Well, it was not yours, since you left and there is no need to be so worried. Yes, it's hard, I am also experiencing this. But there are many ways to forget it. You are 18 years old, do you think this is the last person you met in your life? And the means by the way are as follows: the Survive website. RU. site True love. Prayer for yourself, for him. Sport, active, just so that the strength remains to crawl to bed, communication with people who are even worse, good deeds, as much as possible, well, work on thoughts, the fight against bad thoughts, especially with prayer that push you to suicide. Thank God for everything! Lord have mercy. And until the soul calms down, believe me, this is the only thing that will pull you out, and also confession and Communion. The ABC of Faith, read about it there. God help you Elena! And by the way, with such a royal name, and even surrender so, isn't it stupidity? Pray to your intercessor Elena Equal to the Apostles.
Divirgent, age: 06/23/2015
Hello Lena. Remember once and for all that no man in the world is worth your life. Guys come and go, one is better than the other, you evaluate, choose, this is normal and natural, but you have only one life, and you need to take care of it !!! It was not for this that your mother gave birth, so that you would lie in the coffin because of some boy. You can see for yourself that no one can prove anything by suicide, no one appreciated your "act", which means get well and live a normal, fulfilling life. You still have to study, look for work, have time with relationships. You are young, free, so many opportunities, prospects, so many doors are open for you!
Irina, age: 06/23/2015
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Do Anything, But Be Furious
When a person is drowning, his main task is to stay afloat. At any cost, look for an opportunity to support your life in some way. Believe me, movers are needed in vegetable stores, believe me, there are wipers and there is no need to be ashamed of anything, this will not mean falling - it will mean your unsinkability!
Complete collection of materials on the topic: how to live without a loved one? from experts in their field.
After parting with a loved one, there is no desire to move on. Everything around seems gray and squalid. Around the devastation and disorder. This will continue forever, unless you start living again.
Instructions
parting
with a loved one, especially if the break was his initiative, in the life of every woman there comes a period when you need to make a certain choice:
Start a new life or so and remain existing in suffering and grief, remembering a loved one.
Of course, everyone understands that now they need to change something and learn to live again. But how to do that? Here are a few rules to help you cope with depression and learn to live without your ex.
1. Look around and understand what reminds you of your beloved: photographs, souvenirs from the vacation spots that you spent together? His personal belongings? The sofa that you bought together? All this needs to be removed. It is best to throw it away so that you can not get all these things out of the box on a lonely evening and indulge in memories again. well if
breake down
For example, it is difficult with a souvenir or photographs, then you can ask
keep these things at home, and then pick them up after a year or two. After a while, the memories will not be so bright, but
your beloved will no longer cause such violent emotions in you.
2. Change your appearance. Go to a beauty salon and ask a specialist to cut you and dye your hair in a color that you have never dyed, but always dreamed of. Spend as much time as possible in the beauty salon and order a range of procedures and services. It will help you relax and have a lot of fun, forget
about problems
and, most importantly, increase your self-esteem. Perhaps after that you will think: was he, beloved, worthy of such a beauty as me?
3. Fulfill your most cherished wish. Did your former beloved follow your figure? Did you deny yourself sweets because of him? Buy a huge cake and call your friends. During a fun conversation, time will pass quickly, and this will allow you to have fun.
4. The evening with friends can be continued somewhere at night.
or a cafe. Perhaps there is something new waiting for you
acquaintance
Which will change your life in an instant.
5. Find yourself a hobby or a new job. New activity will help you forget about all the sorrows and bad weather that haunted you
after parting
with a loved man. A new hobby will help you to go headlong into worries and affairs, meet new people, create something beautiful and useful. You yourself will not notice how your
no longer worries.
6. Take a trip. Rest will put your thoughts in order, set you up for a new wave.
note
If they left you. You will clearly be in the spotlight as you get the characteristics of your partner “here's a goat!” or “here's a bitch!”, as well as valuable instructions on how to live on ... Usually it does not help for long ... Brenda Davis compared a person to a chamomile, which has something in its core. At this stage, it is important to separate - in what situation you found yourself after the breakup and what personal feelings and experiences you have about the breakup in general.
Hello dear readers. Today we will talk about how to live without a loved one. Life situations can be varied. Perhaps you had to part with your soul mate or a tragedy happened, and this person is no longer with us. It is important to understand how not to withdraw into yourself, not to lose the meaning of your existence, not to fall into, but to come to terms with what happened and continue to live. We will talk about this in this article.
Situation options
If young people live together under the same roof for a long time or just spend a lot of time together, they get used to coexisting. But at one moment everything can collapse, the beloved will no longer be there, but everything will continue to remind of him, your memories will also be alive. In this case, it is very important to understand how to overcome yourself, how to learn to live on.
Some people, under the influence of parting, begin to withdraw into themselves, silently experience loss, engage in self-delusion, and become depressed.
Separately, it is worth considering the situation when the person whom you love did not leave, but died, he is not among the living. In this case, advice is unlikely to help you, and you can get the best help from a professional psychotherapist, a doctor who will help you cope with the pain of loss. Sometimes you manage to get through such pain by helping people who are in a worse situation than you are at the moment.
You will learn more about what to do if you are familiar with the phrase “I cannot live without my beloved girl (boyfriend)” after the partner broke off all relations with you.
- If you have any gifts from your soulmate, then it is better to get rid of them, or at least put them in a drawer and hide them so they don't catch your eye. As for the photographs, they also need to be removed from view for a while. However, do not rush to delete joint pictures. After all, this is your memory. The day will come when you will come to terms with the fact that the person who now left you was not the only one. But, it will be nice to remember the old days. Although in certain cases it is still worth destroying the pictures, especially if your ex-lover hurt you very much before leaving.
- Start changing yourself. It's time to open a new page in your life. These do not have to be dramatic changes in appearance. Although such changes will also have a beneficial effect on their own perception. You can, for example, change the business that you like to do in your free time, do something that you have not been fond of before.
- You should not close in yourself, be alone with yourself. now - your worst enemy. Try to be with other people most of the time, and preferably those you can trust and support you. At the same time, it is recommended to go with friends to some events, exhibitions, to the theater. This is what you need now - to unwind, to be distracted. If you retire with your best friend, with whom you will debate the ended relationship, then the situation will only get worse.
- Treat yourself, do something that really pleases you, something that you have been denied yourself for a long time. This does not mean that you need to abandon a strict diet or proper nutrition, which was preferred recently, deciding to forget about all restrictions, and start eating cakes, convenience foods, drinking soda. So only exacerbate your already sad emotional state. Here we are talking about what you previously regretted money for, but always dreamed of. For example, you might purchase a dress that costs more than you could possibly afford.
- Sometimes it is better not to restrain yourself, to cry if it is really necessary. It is important to be able to find a person to whom you can tell about your emotions, what happened, how bad it is now, how painful it is, and so that this person is really reliable, can listen, help with advice, and provide the right support.
- Decide on if you haven't had it before. You are now categorically not recommended to sit around in your free time. Having caught a minute, you need to devote it to something interesting, something that will interest you, captivate you, a case that will allow you to see the results of your actions.
- If opportunities permit, take a trip. This is not necessarily a trip outside the country, you can just leave the city. Sometimes a change of scenery helps. Especially if the ex-partner lives nearby or you have to work together, and further meetings only exacerbate your pain.
- After parting with your soul mate, you should not bore her, write on social networks, send SMS, make phone calls, humiliate yourself, hoping that your loved one will return to you. So you lose your pride and ruin your self-respect.
- If you had favorite places that you always visited together, now you need to avoid them, because the associations are still alive in your memory.
- Realize that in any break in a relationship, both partners are always to blame, even if you don't understand it now. It's time to understand that the person was sent to you for experience, that you need to draw some lesson from this relationship, draw conclusions.
- Don't let fear settle in your heart. If at the moment you are left alone, this does not mean that it will always be so. We are the arbiters of our own destinies. And you should not rush into a whirlpool headlong into a new relationship. This will not lead to anything good. You just need to switch to something, take care of yourself, and the right person will appear on your life path.
- It is unacceptable to blame yourself for what happened, to engage in self-criticism. Even if you really made mistakes, but now nothing can be changed, just accept the situation as a life lesson.
- If now it seems that the person with whom you broke up was your ideal, the love of your whole life, then it's time to understand that this is not so, that now your mind is clouded, that there are no ideal people, everyone has their own shortcomings. Therefore, it would be a good idea to do a general analysis of your ex, throwing your heart aside, including only your mind. Sometimes awareness of negative qualities allows you to understand that you did not have what was invented, that this is just an illusion, and you are open to new relationships.
- Admit to yourself that old relationships are in the past. If it was not possible to reanimate them, then it is worth letting go, step over, starting a new life. If you do decide to visit a psychologist, he will help you work through the situation, teach you how to let go of an event that may have played a key role in your life, tell you how to learn a lesson from this, teach you how to live on.
Realize that right now you are experiencing severe mental pain, a feeling of despair, perhaps fear. However, some time will pass and only emptiness will remain in the soul. You will understand that life is not over, that everything is still ahead.
If you are familiar with the phrase "I can not live without a beloved man or woman," then now you know that many people are faced with a similar situation. After all, feelings are not always mutual in one pair. It so happens that someone loves more. The main thing is to understand, if at the moment you are left alone, then it is so destined. And although it is excruciatingly painful now, time will put everything in its place. Life goes on, you will definitely meet that person, feelings for whom will be much stronger than what you are experiencing at the moment.
- You need to understand that very rare relationships last your whole life!
Sooner or later, you may have some kind of discord or breakup, and you will part. - There should be an understanding that in this world, in principle, there is nothing so super stable that it would never go away and would not collapse.
Understanding this 1 counselor's advice on how to cope with breaking up with your loved one greatly reinforces your knowledge.
2. Find your favorite activity that you want to do and be passionate about completely and with great passion.
- With regard to your life in principle, finding your occupation that you want to do, you want to live and be passionate about - it strongly reinforces you emotionally and from all sides!
- Having it, you will not be so much jarred and thrown into a panic at any loss, even if you broke up with your loved one.
- Your favorite hobby, occupation, your own path, energy and passion invested in it - very much recharge you, give you a purpose in life, give a feeling of pleasure and enjoyment from life.
- Thanks to them, you forget about the gray everyday life, completely penetrate the process, forgetting everyday trifles and breaks. You no longer worry about what to do if you are dumped or how to get over it.
- Having severed the relationship, now you can completely immerse yourself in your favorite business and fully abide and grow with it further.
- For example, this can be your projects, business ideas, events, your creativity, financial plans, hobbies and favorite sports. Who cares for what.
Always remember your favorite hobby and passion, put it in the first place now, and then you will no longer need the advice of a psychologist on how to survive parting with your girlfriend or boyfriend.
3. Realize that relationships, in any case, cannot be a mission and a goal in life.
- Social programming suggests that a supposed relationship- the most important component in life. That is, people make building relationships the main component of life. This is a very common thing that can be observed now.
- She's so Hollywood and from the movies or from some secret childhood dreams. It is found in both men and women. And if you do not get rid of this illusion, you will still need the advice of a psychologist on how to get over the breakup with your loved one.
- There is another wrong belief in people.... People come to their soulmate as if under the bosom of a tree from work or study with the conviction "but here it will be good for me."
And if this happens in your head, then, as a rule, it does not justify expectations. - Sooner or later illusions will collapse... To some extent, people can create this illusion for each other, then it all just crumbles to smithereens.
Relationships are definitely important.
In them we can realize ourselves, give fulfillment to another person, establish emotional contact with a partner, make our life and his life easier.
But in general, they cannot be a mission.
Relationships in any case cannot be a mission in life!
Girls illusions
On the part of girls, such a thing is present in the head more often. And therefore, they often need help and various advice from a psychologist on how to survive parting with their beloved man.
Girls elevate relationships to a higher rank, because they have such a biological factor as a family and a child.
The problem with you is that you needed to be distracted from clinging to a relationship and making it a goal in life.
This will only make you worse, because sooner or later, illusions will begin to break, and you will again think about what to do when your loved one left you.
4. Don't let yourself slip into an emotional hole after a breakup.
- It is very important when such breaks occur and the critical moments are not to let yourself slide into an emotional pit. Some people get depressed. You can talk about ways to get rid of depression. They can last more than one day, but even a week or two. This can be very detrimental to you.
- Emotionally, the problem can be very minor. But, for example, a man can slide so emotionally into this gap that he will have a desire to go to the mountains, become a monk and do nothing else in this life, or go headlong into business, forgetting about women altogether.
- Although in reality not everything is so serious... Anything can happen. Do not cheat yourself, do not make an elephant out of a fly, and know everything about how to survive parting with a girl after a long relationship or many years of marriage.
5. First, solve the psychological problem: do not go to extremes and run to look for a new partner.
After the breakup, you may get the feeling that supposedly you need to solve everything right now.
You need to solve problems as they come.
You don't have to decide everything at once.
First find harmony with yourself and solve the problem inside
If you have an unstable emotional state, depression, then first deal with it.
Some people go to extremes after a breakup and sooner run to look for a new partner.
And this will supposedly be the solution to the problem. This supposedly will close the questions about how to get over the pain of parting with a loved one.
Is this a solution?
What mistakes do people make?
People simply patch up their mental wound with a plaster, looking for a replacement rather than dealing with themselves.
This rush from one extreme to another does not end well.
Accept the state in which you are now, see it and say to yourself: “Yes, now I am not quite in harmony with myself after the breakup. Well, never mind, first I’ll solve this issue, and then we’ll see. ”
Remember this and no longer need a counselor's advice on how to cope with separation from your husband.
6. What Your Brain Can Do to You: A Jaded Record Analogy
- All your memories of past love when everything was good, it bloomed and smelled - it's just an appearance.
If that balance were preserved, then it would indeed be so. And so this is an illusory appearance. This is already like a worn-out record, which, moreover, has broken. - How is your brain joking with you? When you had a break and there were a lot of jambs, which you don't even really want to remember, your brain throws this worn-out record to you.
- You put this broken record in your head, where not an even melody plays, but an incomprehensible rattle, a pitiful semblance of a melody and some unpleasant sounds.
- This record does not need to be repaired anymore!
You just have to find what you really need! - Don't even have to try to go back... It's not worth it.
Approach the situation soberly, and you will know all about how to start living after breaking up with your loved one.
7. Let yourself go forever: there is nothing to decide, no need to cling
Let yourself be gone forever.
Understand that there is nothing and no one to allow.
Some of you messed up and it is important to understand that this is normal.
As painful as it may be, give yourself the opportunity to leave forever.
Just like your partner gives himself this opportunity.
Every girl and every guy gives himself this opportunity.
Understanding this will close your worries about how to deal with breaking up with your loved ones.
8. Make the choice to be cool and not needy, remove expectations
- A person who is not in need is one who does not cling to other people, is inclined to give more than to receive and never expects anything from this life! Strive to be.
- A person who is not in need does not think about what you will have in the future (even if there is a 99% guarantee, you do not tell others). You can say: "Yes, I have such plans ...". You are going to do it, but you don’t live it.
- You take what you have for the moment, but you never expect anything to happen in the future - good or bad. It's useless.
- Those things that you can cling to in life can be so ephemeral and destructible.
- Your reality should not be based on anything external!
A person who is not in need does not need both things and people equally! The paradigm is that they are with them, but there is no fear of loss at all!
A person who is not in need never asks questions about how to live after a breakup.
A strong person is only glad that weak people themselves leave his life.
It's harder for a woman to live like that, but it's possible. Don't cling to people.
Women have a natural need for a man who will protect her, take care, they cling to men. This is their jamb!
On our site you can also on the topic of how to get rid of attachment and love addiction.
9. In the next six months or a year, completely change the perception of relationships.
- After your breakup, do not immediately cling to a new person and do not try to make him yours right away for a very long time.
- It should not be confused with not communicating with anyone and not getting to know anyone at all. No, you are still socializing and connecting with new people, enjoying the attraction between you.
- But there should not be this desire to make a person his property for a long time.
- You must remove the time frame where you will begin to unconsciously drive the person.
- Live like this for the next six months at least after the break. Then, after six months, based on internal sensations, you can again return to a long-term relationship with one girl (man).
A subtle point to be implemented
Replace the desire to make the person your own for the desire to make them happy.
The best thing you can do for your partner is to let him live a full life, and you will be there with him whenever he and you want it.
You still truly love your partner, but you are not trying to hold him back in any way.
You must live your life and give your partner complete freedom of choice.
Incorporate this perception and no longer worry about how to get over the separation from your lover or your secret passion.
Difference between healthy and unhealthy neediness
- There should be no border and understanding that the person is yours.
And then you can always go further in terms of developing your spirituality, your level of happiness and harmony. - Yes, you may have a certain percentage of need for a new relationship, but this healthy need, - when you just want to see a person(no matter how you spend your time). You just want to be together.
10. Ask yourself: "Are your feelings and the image of your ex-partner real, or is this your subjective perception?"
Ask yourself questions:
- Is it real that your ex-partner gives you some feelings, or is it your subjective perception that draws them that way, making him special?
- If a guy's perception of his ex-girlfriend as “special”, “giving everyone love” and “making everyone feel better” was real, then why don't all guys perceive her that way?
- Why does no other person on the planet with his ex-girlfriend feel better about it as a guy right now?
Answer
How a guy perceives an ex-girlfriend to be so cool is his personal subjective perception of a girl.
Except for him, no one else perceives her that way.
All other people see the same girl, the same appearance, the same face, but their health does not improve in any way!
And this is very important to realize in order to close the worries about how it is easier to get over the separation from your loved one.
You yourself draw an addition to the image of the ex, it does not come from him in any way
- The guy is simply attached to those old emotions, tactile sensations and past pleasures that they gave each other. His perception draws her somehow special, as if she has a halo over her head.
- The same can be said about former men, for whom women continue to dry unrequitedly. Your remaining love after the breakup is only your personal subjective appearance.
- You yourself and your perception of feelings draws such an addition to the former person. This supplement itself does not come from your ex in any way.
- This image, which draws your perception to you, does not exist in reality. Remember this and close all your questions about how to get through the pain of parting with a married man or someone with whom you would have to part ways sooner or later.
11. Your affection is tested for feelings and sensations that you experienced with your partner, and not for the person himself
Realize that you are attached to the feeling, not to the person himself.
This feeling is drawn by your personal subjective perception.
Understand this, and it will become much easier for you.
Ask yourself:
- Why don't you have this feeling about yourself?
- Why does it only arise in relation to other people?
The answer is that you just don't love yourself.
People do not love themselves and, as a result, need outside help, ask for advice from a psychologist on how to survive a breakup with a husband, boyfriend or female person.
12. Love yourself for real
When you truly fall in love with yourself, your total love will be much stronger than your feelings for your ex.
Your love for yourself will be the strongest and strongest. No feelings can absorb and bind you.
And then you will already forget about attachment to feelings, you will give more to this world.
And then people will start reaching out to you.
Now you know everything from psychology on the topic of how to survive parting with your loved one, and you do not need any forums.
If you integrate these understandings into your life, then thoughts like “I would rather move away after a painful breakup” in your head will no longer arise.
You will remove a lot of pain and suffering from the relationship and start looking at things more objectively.
This is your life, make the right choice!
