In each family, a certain system of education is objectively formed, far from being always realized by its members. Here we have in mind both the understanding of the goals of education, and the formulation of its tasks, and the more or less purposeful application of the methods and techniques of education. The 4 most common tactics of upbringing in the family can be distinguished and the 4 types of family relationships that correspond to them: dictate, guardianship, non-interference and cooperation.
Diktat in the family it manifests itself in the systematic suppression by some members of the family (mainly adults) of the initiative and self-esteem of its other members. Parents, of course, can and should make demands on their child, based on the goals of education, moral standards, specific situations in which it is necessary to make pedagogically and morally justified decisions. However, those who prefer order and violence to all types of influence, wish to assert their own superiority on the feeling of dependence of another, weaker being, face the resistance of the child, who responds to pressure, coercion, threats with their own countermeasures: hypocrisy, deceit, outbursts of rudeness, and sometimes outright hatred. But even if the resistance turns out to be broken, along with it, many valuable personality traits turn out to be broken: independence, self-esteem, initiative, faith in oneself and in one's capabilities. The reckless authoritarianism of parents, ignoring the interests and opinions of the child, suppression, coercion, and, in the case of the child’s resistance, sometimes even emotional or physical violence against him, mockery, systematic deprivation of his right to vote in resolving issues relating to him - all this is a guarantee of serious failures in the formation of his personality.
guardianship in the family is a system of relations in which parents, ensuring by their work the satisfaction of all the needs of the child, protect him from any worries, efforts and difficulties, taking them upon themselves. It is these children who are unsuited to life in a team, they lack independence, initiative, they are somehow removed from solving the common problems of the family.
The system of interpersonal relations in the family, based on the recognition of the possibility and even the expediency of the independent existence of adults from children, can be generated by tactics " non-intervention". Most often, this type of relationship is based on the passivity of parents as educators, and sometimes their emotional coldness, indifference, inability and unwillingness to learn to be parents.
Cooperation as a type of relationships in the family, it implies the mediation of interpersonal relationships in the family by common goals and objectives of joint activities, its organization and high moral values. It is in this situation that the egoistic individualism of the child is overcome. Such a family becomes a group of a high level of development - a team.
2. Classification of parenting styles
Of great importance in the formation of self-esteem is the style of family education, the values accepted in the family. Psychologists distinguish 3 styles of family education: democratic, authoritarian, conniving.
Democratic parents value both independence and discipline in the child's behavior. They themselves grant him the right to be independent in some areas of his life; without prejudice to his rights, at the same time demand the fulfillment of duties.
Authoritarian parents demand unquestioning obedience from the child and do not consider that they should explain to him the reasons for their instructions and prohibitions. They tightly control all spheres of life, and they can do it and not quite correctly. Children in such families usually become isolated, and their communication with their parents is disrupted. An even more difficult case is indifferent and cruel parents. Children from such families rarely treat people with trust, experience difficulties in communication, are often cruel themselves, although they have a strong need for love.
The combination of an indifferent parental attitude with a lack of control is also an unfavorable variant of family relationships. Children are allowed to do whatever they want, no one is interested in their affairs. Behavior becomes out of control.
Hyper-custody - excessive concern for the child, excessive control over his entire life, based on close emotional contact, leads to passivity, lack of independence, difficulties in communicating with peers.
3. The influence of the type of education on the behavior of the child, the formation of his personal characteristics
Adequate and inadequate behavior of the child depends on the conditions of upbringing in the family.
Children with low self-esteem are dissatisfied with themselves. This happens in a family where parents constantly blame the child, or set excessive tasks for him. The child feels that he does not meet the requirements of the parents. Inadequacy can also manifest itself with inflated self-esteem. This happens in a family where the child is often praised, and gifts are given for little things and achievements. The child is punished very rarely, the system of requirements is very soft.
To bring up an adequate representation, a flexible system of punishment and praise of the child is needed. Admiration and praise are excluded from him. Gifts are rarely given for deeds. Extreme harsh punishments are not used. In families where children grow up with high, but not overestimated self-esteem, attention to the personality of the child is combined with sufficient demands.
Anxiety can become a personality trait of a child. High anxiety becomes stable with constant dissatisfaction on the part of parents. Due to the increase in anxiety and the associated low self-esteem, educational achievements are reduced, and failure is fixed. Self-doubt leads to a number of other features: the desire to mindlessly follow the instructions of an adult, to act only according to patterns and patterns, the fear of taking the initiative, the formal assimilation of knowledge and methods of action.
The second option is demonstrativeness - a personality trait associated with an increased need for success and attention to others. Its source is usually the lack of attention of adults to children who feel neglected and unloved in the family. But it happens that the child receives sufficient attention, but it does not satisfy him due to the hypertrophied need for emotional contacts. Excessive demands on adults are made not by neglected, but, on the contrary, by the most spoiled children. Such a child will seek attention, even violating the rules of behavior.
The third option is “avoidance of reality”. It is observed in cases where demonstrativeness is combined with anxiety in children. These children also have a strong need for attention to themselves, but they cannot realize it because of their anxiety. They are hardly noticeable, they are afraid of arousing disapproval with their behavior, they strive to fulfill the requirements of adults. An unsatisfied need for attention leads to an increase in even greater passivity, invisibility, which makes it difficult for already insufficient contacts.
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The article was prepared specifically for the site www.. P. "Fundamentals of education in the family" Benefit. - Chelyabinsk: Non-state educational institution "Chelyabinsk Humanitarian Institute", 2007.
Building good relationships in the family is a difficult and responsible business. It is necessary to learn to give love to loved ones, to accept their advantages and disadvantages. A cozy home, understanding relatives make family relationships comfortable. How to avoid conflicts? How to create a warm atmosphere in the family? Spouses, children, elderly parents work together day after day on relationships. Compromise is sometimes the only way out of difficult life situations.
Subtleties of family relations
A family is a small group of people based on marriage or consanguinity. They are interconnected by a common life, responsibility, moral standards.
Family relationships are warm feelings for parents and other relatives. They have common memories, traditions. Relationships are built on support, help in difficult situations. Common holidays, rest allow the family to meet more often if parents and children live in different places.
The money issue is a feature of family relationships. Elderly parents help their adult children and vice versa. The husband becomes the only breadwinner if the wife takes care of the little child. The subtleties of monetary relations are built on mutual trust, responsibility for one's family. If one of the relatives is sick or is in a difficult life situation, the money issue helps to solve some problems. In this case, only the family can be of great help.
Having children is another aspect of family relationships. Caring for babies, methods of education are passed down from generation to generation. The development of the child, his ability to communicate and contact with other people - all this is laid down in the family. Grandparents take part in the upbringing of their grandchildren. The emotional nature of relationships in the family is manifested in the formation of the character of the child. It is important that trusting and warm feelings bind all relatives.
Each family, with its principles and views, develops its own model of relationships. It is based on education, life experience, professional features. The existing types of family relations are divided into dictate, cooperation, guardianship, non-interference.
- Diktat. The authority of parents suppresses, ignores the interests of children. There is a systematic humiliation by adults of their own dignity of younger relatives. Based on their experience, parents forcibly, in a tough manner, dictate their conditions of life, behavior, morality. Any manifestations of initiative, one's own opinion are extinguished in the bud. Emotional abuse often turns into physical abuse.
- Cooperation. A family united by common interests, mutual assistance. Joint decisions are made in certain situations. The causes of the conflicts that have arisen and ways out of them are discussed. Parents, children are able to overcome their own egoism for the sake of common goals. The ability to compromise, overcoming individualism are the foundations of family relations in this model.
- guardianship. Excessive care of parents makes children in such a family infantile, indifferent. Adults, investing material and moral values in their offspring, protect them from everyday problems. Children, growing up, do not know how to build relationships with peers, colleagues. They cannot act independently, without the consent, encouragement, and help of their parents.
- non-intervention. Independent coexistence of adults and children. The policy of non-intervention in all spheres of life. Usually, the psychology of family relations in this model is passive indifference to the thoughts, actions, and aspirations of their children. This comes from the inability and unwillingness of adults to become wise parents.
Young family
The emergence of a new family is the beginning of a long journey that a husband and wife have to go through. Building relationships with new parents is possible only with mutual respect and patience. It must be understood that the spouse's parents are also a family. With their values, traditions, memories. It should be extremely tactful to join a new family, trying to avoid resentment, conflict situations. Try not to make offensive statements, the memory of which can be preserved for years.
It is convenient to build family relationships when the husband and wife live separately from their parents. Then the entire responsibility for a comfortable life lies only with them. Spouses learn to adapt to each other. They look for compromises, learn habits, put up, make mistakes. Together they create their own model of a family in which it will be convenient for them and their future children.
When young spouses start living together separately from their parents, they quickly master new roles - husband and wife. They are not dominated by older relatives with their marriage patterns. Parents have their own life experience, past mistakes and conflict situations. It is necessary to allow the young family to independently find solutions to certain problems.
New relatives
Most conflict situations arise if a young family begins to coexist with their parents. In this case, the features of family relations are to create harmonious ties with new parents. This is a difficult test that teaches tolerance for other people's views and relationships. Sometimes parents, supporting their child, do not seek to protect the newly acquired relative or relative.
How to avoid conflicts in this situation?
- Treat your spouse's family with respect. Participate in common holidays, maintain (if possible) traditions.
- Tell the truth, don't lie. If inappropriate questions arise, speak in general terms without going into details.
- Don't jump to conclusions. In each unpleasant situation, first find out what motivated people in making certain decisions.
- Do not condemn new parents, avoid a sharp assessment of their behavior, appearance, profession, life.
- Try to be polite, attentive, remember about mutual assistance.
Parents should respect the choice of their child. Try to maintain marriage and family relations, not to provoke quarrels between spouses. Wisely and tactfully suggest a way out of conflict situations that are inevitable in marriage. Refrain from harsh statements, categorical judgments.
The appearance of a child
It is very important for a young family to form comfortable marriage and family relations. The bottom should be comfortable for both spouses. This is a trusting relationship, conflict-free communication, the ability to be understanding and attentive.
The birth of a child is a difficult period in the life of a family. Pregnancy with female whims, irritability, mood swings introduces the first dissonance into the familiar idyll. Understanding, patience will help spouses maintain good family relations.
With the advent of the baby, the whole habitual way of life changes. Night vigils, crying, childhood illnesses - an occasion to acquire new skills and knowledge. The responsibility that has fallen on the husband for material and moral well-being often causes anger and denial in the young spouse, a desire to start a new, calm life. Postpartum depression, fear for the health of the baby make the young wife focused only on the child.
Calmly accepting a new role (mom and dad) will allow young parents to come to a consensus. The distribution of responsibilities, endurance will help to overcome difficulties, preserve family relationships. And children who grow up in love and joy become calm, self-confident adults.
Family traditions
It is important for a family to have common memories and traditions. They promote cohesion and friendship. It can be picnics where the whole family gathers. Or joint annual leave. If parents and their adult children live in different areas or cities, there is a need for such traditions to appear.
General holidays and birthdays are held in high spirits. The whole family gathers together, congratulating the anniversaries, decorating the room for the celebration. Gifts are an excellent occasion to restore shattered family relationships, ask for an apology or forgive relatives. All troubles and misunderstandings are forgotten in the cheerful whirlwind of the holiday.
If parents and adult children live together, having dinner together can become a nightly tradition. Leisurely conversations over a cup of tea, discussion of plans for the future. In this case, the development of family relations, common traditions contribute to the creation of friendly ties between parents, children and grandchildren.
Stages of family development
Almost all families face difficulties. A certain crisis is coming. Both marriage and family relationships are changing, reaching a new level. The main stages of development proceed depending on the level of maturity of the spouses.
- The first year of family life. To be able to find compromises, to yield to each other. Adjust, look for a convenient form of existence together.
- Birth of a child. Develop comfortable ways of interacting with each other and with the child. Awareness of one's parental position.
- 3-5 years of family life. The child grows up, the woman goes to work. Distribution of responsibilities in the family. New forms of interaction, where two working spouses, and the responsibility and care for the child still remain.
- 8-15 years of family life. Habitual, familiar way of life brings boredom. Accumulated problems, mutual grievances. Minor nit-picking and irritation interfere with good relations.
- 20 years of family life. Risk of change. The emergence of a new family and children (usually the husband). Reassessment of values and summing up the first life results. The desire to change everything, to start over.
- Grown up children, retirement. No one to take care of, an empty house, loneliness. Search for new interests. Rebuilding relationships with spouse and adult children.
Overcoming conflict situations
Family conflicts are inevitable. They occur on everyday grounds, due to different worldviews, rejection of any decisions. Conflict can make or break a marriage. It is important to maintain the norms of family relations, to correctly build even unpleasant situations. The culture of communication, tact, respect will help overcome the conflict, understand the reasons for its occurrence and get out of it without infringing on anyone's rights. There are 4 main ways to resolve disagreements:
1. Smoothing out the conflict - nullifying the controversial situation. Quietly waiting for the end of the quarrel. The ability to forget and forgive unpleasant moments.
2. Search for a compromise- the ability to find a way out of the situation. Discuss the cause of the conflict, express your point of view. Find convenient ways to a peaceful life, without infringement of dignity.
3. Confrontation- Each of the parties to the conflict insists on its own point of view. Needs and feelings are ignored. Husband and wife move away from each other.
4. Persuasion- one of the spouses insists on his point of view, motivating with various arguments.
In any case, the psychology of family relations recommends a peaceful solution to the conflict. Do not bring it to physical violence, aggression.
Mutual understanding in the family
If there is no mutual understanding in the family, the spouses begin to move away from each other. The inability to express one's point of view can result in misunderstanding, resentment, quarrels. In order not to bring the family to a scandal or divorce, you should reconsider your habits. Both parties must be involved in this. Spouses must learn to find a common language so as not to bring the relationship to a critical point. Therefore, you need:
- Avoid being categorical.
- Do not consider only your point of view as correct.
- Do not be indifferent to the hobbies (hobbies) of the second half.
- Eliminate suspicion.
- Avoid harsh, harsh language.
Divorce
Problems in relationships, quarrels with children, fear of responsibility bring disappointment. Quite often, modern family relationships end in divorce. Most men and women prefer to live in a guest marriage, not to have children.
There are situations when it is impossible to forgive a soul mate. Disappointment in a loved one can affect the rest of your life. Infidelity, physical or emotional abuse in the family lead to divorce.
Children are the main victims. They love their parents, sometimes in spite of everything. The feeling of uselessness, the feeling that he was rejected, can haunt the child for a long time. You should be very careful. Patiently explain that adult relationships change, but love for the child remains.
Former spouses mistakenly believe that after a divorce, life will change dramatically for the better. Unfortunately, the reasons that provoked a divorce can affect the future life. You should find out what personal habits or attitudes influenced the dissolution of the marriage. Try to avoid similar mistakes in the future.
Secrets of a happy family
A happy family life, relationships are built by both spouses. Both the husband and the wife are to blame for the causes of quarrels and conflicts. Do not build illusions, idealize marriage. Family is always problems, moments of crisis, resentment. It is necessary to learn to forgive each other, to treat habits and beliefs with understanding and patience.
A happy family solves the problems that have arisen together, together. Spouses learn to find compromises. The secret of happiness is not in avoiding conflicts, but in their awareness and peaceful resolution. Do not hold back insults, but talk more and try to understand a different point of view. Quarrel, swear, but always return to peace and harmony in the family.
Only helping each other, patience will help overcome misunderstanding. In a happy family, care and respect come first. This is a daily work for the common good. The warm praise of a spouse, kindness, compassion help people overcome difficult life situations.
Do not overprotect children. They, too, must learn from their own mistakes. Show initiative and independence. Nevertheless, help and mutual assistance will become the guarantor of happy family relationships.
More often walk all together, relax. Get out into nature or have a picnic. The common overcoming of difficulties, joint fun and joy will hold the family together for many years.
Types of relationships in the family.
Let's start with love. What is parental love and what does it teach children?
It would seem that parents should love and accept their child by anyone: obedient and naughty, beautiful and ugly, smart and not very, open and withdrawn ... That is, there can be no conditions for the love of a child for parents and parents for children. No wonder they say: “Parents are not chosen!” But, unfortunately, even artists, having created a work that does not meet their expectations, throw it into a far corner or even destroy it, in a flash of despair and disappointment for everyone.
You will say: “We also compared ... A child is not a picture and not a poem!” Yes, the child is not a thing, but, nevertheless, he is nothing but the product of his parents! The artist puts everything he can into his work: talent (whatever it is), soul, time, money, health. What do parents invest in their child? And the same thing - parental talent, soul, time, health, money ... and much more! I think that much more than the artist in the picture. Although ... who knows?
Much is said and written about unconditional love, but not many people know how to love like that, because in the family where they grew up, they were loved for their intelligence, obedience, cheerful disposition, openness, honesty, beauty ...
Oh, and where are these children hiding? In fact, they were disliked (or pretended to be disliked) for being mischievous, disobedient, sloppy, for bad grades in school… What else? Yes, to each his own!!! Who among you has not felt unloved, rejected? ..
And what does this teach driven by good behavior, parental love? Parents can’t even think that their child can also be disappointed in them, in their parents, and reject them, in due time?
Dear Parents!!! And where can all these unpleasant personality traits come from in your child? But let's look at the different types of relationships in the family, thanks to which the personality of the child is formed!
Diktat! All of us, after the fall of the USSR, learned what "authoritarianism" is! Could this be a family? Maybe? How is it? Well, yes, that's right - this is when all family members unquestioningly obey one person: father, mother or grandmother (rarely grandfather for some reason). This person both punishes and has mercy, he decides what to do, how who should talk to him. It determines where to study, who to be (that is, what profession the representatives of the younger generation will have), and much more. Whoever has a "dictator" in the house understands what is at stake.
The "dictator" behaves this way only out of good intentions, love for his loved ones - that's how it seems to him. He takes full responsibility for their lives, for their future. He always knows how and what should be. He tries to prove to everyone that without him they will be lost, they will make mistakes ... Everyone speaks only in a whisper, “walk on tiptoe”.
It is especially bad in such a family for children. Why? And because the dictator suppresses their initiative, does not allow them to develop a sense of their own dignity, independence, and activity. He can afford to insult and humiliate anyone who dares to contradict him. By accustoming to work, he "forces"! Even talking about something, he says: “I made him go to the store!”, Or “I made her wash the dishes!” A child in such a family is completely deprived of the right to vote, even in those matters that concern his personal interests: he wears the clothes that his parents buy for him, he goes to the sports section that his father or mother chose for him. He may be forbidden to meet with this or that friend, just because the “dictator” does not like him, he even develops talents only those that his parents noticed. I can make him learn to sing, play the violin, etc. You can imagine what a musician will come out of it!!!
Overprotection is a kind of dictatorship. Only the "dictator" prefers order and violence, and the "guardian" "gets" family members with his excessive care and demonstrative love. It is characterized by manipulative feelings of guilt, with a sense of duty. He is the “guardian” - the most offended in the family - “no one loves him, no one cares about him, no one respects him, everyone thinks only of himself, and only he loves everyone and takes care of everyone, protects from difficulties !!!” He requires love and attention to yourself in response to his "selfless love"!
In fact, both the "dictator" and the "guardian" care, first of all, about their peace of mind. Why should they bother themselves and think about how loved ones feel when they overwhelm them with their orders or excessive care? They are more comfortable and calmer when everyone listens to them, no one will argue when everyone does what they want! They (and the "dictator" and "guardian"), in fact, are indifferent to the interests and experiences of those who, it seems to them, are in their complete power.
But sooner or later, "authoritarianism" faces resistance, both in the state and in the family! Most often, open resistance flares up from children! At first they begin to lie, dodge, hypocrisy. As the child grows older, he may experience outbursts of rudeness, anger, leaving home ... It happens that the rebel is defeated, his resistance is broken. But there is nothing to rejoice about, because along with resistance, the will is broken, faith in oneself, in one's capabilities; an inferiority complex has been formed, serious damage has been done to the personality of the child.
And if in the first case (when the resistance is not broken), another “dictator” or “guardian” grows up, then in the second case (when it was possible to suppress the child) it will be an absolutely weak-willed, initiativeless, gray personality. Most likely, the life of such a person will be accompanied by a chain of failures, both in the professional and in the family sphere. Maybe he is lucky, and he will meet on his way the “other half”, which will fully take responsibility for his life ... But, most likely, he will get drunk - who needs him like that? Few people know how to love for nothing, just like that!
And now the question is: did the parents want this result?
Of course not! They are disappointed in their child, they show it to him in every possible way. His behavior annoys them! They are ashamed of their child, like the artist of a failed painting! They refuse him, try to meet less often ...
The second question is: what, having become parents, can people brought up in such families give their children?
But only what they have! They were not taught to love and appreciate their loved ones, they were not taught to respect the opinions of other people! One will impose his will on family members, and the other will angrily or indifferently obey someone!!!
What is rigor? What is this suppression method?
Rigidity is a sensible approach driven by the goals in each particular situation. This is the upbringing of the habit of observing social norms, laws, morality! But not violence against a person, not suppression of will and initiative. Strictness is not dictate and not overprotection!
What is "punishment"? Is this necessarily a humiliation of human dignity? Is it necessarily a "flogging" or an insult?
When experiencing punishment, the child must understand that he made a mistake, he must realize that he was wrong - otherwise the punishment is useless! He must make sure that by making such mistakes in the future, he deprives himself of something very important in life. And most importantly, he must be sure that he has the right to make a mistake and to correct it!
Severity and punishment, used correctly, are perceived by children as justice, due to the need to "give a Turk", but not as a lack of love or its excess!
This type of relationship is called "democratic". Here there is concern for each other, and the right to an advisory vote of all family members, and the right to have their own interests and hobbies that do not cause concern to close and, of course, those around them, and the right to choose a profession. Here children are helped to develop, grow as individuals! In such families, the dignity and opinion of each family member, even if it is a child, are respected. “Cooperation” and mutual assistance reign here. Worthy, respected people who know how to work in a team, charismatic leaders, successful businessmen come out of such families ... Their parents are proud of such children.
There is another type of relationship, akin to anarchy. In psychology, it is called "permissive". Here, too, there may be different options:
- "Diktat on the contrary", when parents go on about their child and obey his will. The dictatorship of the child, at first, touches the parents, they encourage such behavior of the child. He grows up in an atmosphere of permissiveness “whatever the child feasts on, if only he doesn’t cry!” He loves his parents as a source of satisfaction for his needs, and when he becomes independent, having achieved his own well-being by any means, as a rule, at the expense of others, he can forget about his parents altogether.
- "Non-intervention". This happens if parents believe that “we have our own life, and the children have their own!” Children should not interfere in the lives of adults, in their affairs and conversations, and parents let the lives of children take their course. In such families (most often, these are families of alcoholics), children deprived of parental attention and love often fall under the influence of their peers, become involved in drunkenness, drug addiction , criminal gangs... Sometimes such children grow up into independent leaders, adapted to any conditions of life, who achieve everything "with their work and mind"! But, as a rule, these are soulless cynics who do not know how to love and appreciate close people, including friends. They say about such people “the street brought up”!
What is your style of relationships in the family - you be the judge. To change it or not, for the benefit of your children, is also up to you. If you decide that “something needs to be changed”, but do not know how, then I recommend that you contact here:
http://familydevelop.biz/pochemu.exe.rar
With deep respect and wishes of love and understanding to the whole family, Lyudmila Astakhova.
The family is of great importance for any person, because it is the basis of his whole life.
Relationships in the family may not always work out well. There are various ways to solve the problem.
concept
What is a family relationship?
Family relationships- this is the interaction between people who are members of the same family on the basis of kinship or marital ties.
The most important types of family relationships are the interaction between husband and wife, between parents and children.
Every family is small socio-psychological group, which has its own characteristics.
The nature of intra-family relations depends on many factors: the level of education of family members, the degree of trust in each other, the psychological characteristics of the participants in the relationship, the degree of emotional closeness, etc.
Psychology
The psychology of family interpersonal relations provides for the analysis of not only the relationship between husband and wife, but also the features of the interaction between parents and children.
Between husband and wife
From a social and legislative point of view, in our country, a man and a woman are recognized as a family only if there is an official marriage.
From a psychological point of view, the situation is different.
Often, people officially registered with each other decide on inability to maintain relationships and cease to conduct a common household.
Separate living, separate budget and the complete absence of joint interests indicate in this case the absence of a family. At the same time, from the point of view of the law, a man and a woman are spouses.
There is also a downside, when a man and a woman have a common life, common children, jointly resolve all issues and at the same time are not legal spouses.
In this case, they themselves consider themselves a family, but from the point of view of the state they are not.
Considering the concept of family not as a social unit of society, but as a union of people close to each other, then a family will be understood as a man and a woman who are in a stable relationship and consider each other a family.
Between parents and children
The main function of the family is birth and upbringing of offspring.
Tasks of parents after the birth of children:
- upbringing;
- providing educational opportunities;
- provision of material benefits;
- spiritual, aesthetic, moral development of children;
- providing emotional, psychological support;
- protecting the interests of children.
Children throughout their lives in the parental family adopt the habits, attitudes and model of relationships between parents. The presence of serious problems in the family, conflicts between spouses reflected negatively throughout the life of the children.
The task of parents is to demonstrate the correct behavior that will serve as an example for the younger generation.
Often, as children grow older, parent-child relationships undergo changes: there is coldness, detachment. Most often, families face similar problems during adolescence in children.
The formation of their own ideas and views, the emergence of new interests can lead to the denial of children's values instilled by their parents. The task of parents during this period is to overcome the difficulties that arise, to build a dialogue with children.
The functions of parents change significantly when children reach adulthood - communication is established on an equal footing as children become independent members of society.
The situation becomes reversed when the parents reach old age. During this period, parents themselves become dependent on children, as they need help and support.
Styles
The following common ones can be distinguished:
intimate relationship
Intimate relationship between spouses play a huge role in the well-being of the family. Most divorces occur precisely because of the appearance of problems in the intimate sphere, which often lead to a whole range of mutual claims and insults.
Intimate problems usually arise in families after several years of marriage, when the spouses, under the influence of a large number of everyday problems, cease to be interested in each other.
In place of love and attraction comes a habit that makes partners and friends out of spouses.
Successful family relationships can only develop for those couples who have initial compatibility in the intimate sphere and make efforts to maintain interest in each other in the process of family life.
family relationships
This is a relationship between close people who have become relatives to each other as a result of marriages or on the basis of blood relationship.
In the case of consanguinity, relatives are people who have a common ancestor: parents and children, brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts with nephews, grandparents with grandchildren, etc.
At the conclusion of marriages, inherent kinship relations arise when the blood relatives of the spouses become members of the same family father-in-law and mother-in-law with daughter-in-law, father-in-law and mother-in-law with son-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, etc.
emotional
Emotional relationships in the family are of great importance, because they determine the degree of satisfaction of spouses with their marriage and the level of comfort and security provided to children. Relationships between family members should be built on trust, respect and support.
It has long been proven that people who grew up in families with a bad emotional climate are very likely not able to build strong relationships in the future.
Any emotional problems in the family (parents, negative habits of parents, excessive demands on children, lack of mutual support and trust between family members) negatively affect the child's psyche, his character and self-confidence.
Democratic
Equality and partnership between spouses, between parents and children - healthy family relationships.
Despite the fact that in any family there is an unspoken leader, and Children must first obey their parents. all contacts can be based on respect for each other's interests, mutual assistance and support.
The full participation of all family members in solving key issues allows not only to avoid conflicts, but also to unite everyone with a single goal.
Affiliate
Husband and wife are first and foremost partners.
Moreover, in the process of marriage, it is the roles of partners that begin to prevail in the relationship of spouses, pushing the relationship of lovers into the background.
Spouses, being partners, solve a whole range of tasks: raising children, maintaining material well-being, arranging everyday life, supporting each other in solving professional problems, etc.
After the birth of a child
Birth of a child- a transitional period for any family, which often causes a crisis in family life.
With the birth of a child, spouses lose the opportunity to fully spend time together and manage their lives, the level of material well-being decreases, women often face postpartum depression.
It is important for spouses to go through a difficult period together after the birth of a child and concentrate on getting positive emotions from communicating with a new family member, from participating in his upbringing.
Secrets, secrets and rules of an ideal family life
The basic principles on which the life of truly happy families is based:
- Mutual respect and trust. This applies not only to spouses, but also to parents with children. In a family where everyone respects each other, listens to everyone's opinion and is always ready to help, conflicts and misunderstandings cannot arise.
- The ability of a man to take responsibility. The man is the head of the family. At present, this role often belongs to a woman, and most conflicts arise precisely because the man ceases to be responsible for the family, and the woman takes on non-female duties.
- A woman's desire to be a mother and mistress. The main purpose of a woman is to maintain home comfort and raise children.
Family life should be organized in such a way that a woman always has enough time and energy for the house, for her husband, for children.
- The ability of spouses to escape from everyday life. Often, relationships end due to the cooling of a man and a woman towards each other, caused by the departure of romance and passion from their relationship. Spouses should always remember that they are not only partners and parents, but also loving people. The ability to find time for joint leisure is an important factor in maintaining relationships.
Stages
Family relationships go through the following stages:
Diagnostics - methods
Sometimes family conflicts become serious when their participants cannot resolve the situation on their own.
The study and analysis of family relationships will identify existing problems and determine ways to resolve them. The main directions of diagnostics:
- The study of the system of distribution of roles in the family. The specifics of building communications in a particular family, the distribution of functions, the emotional climate, and the existing problems are considered.
- The study of the relationship between parents and children. Identification of violations in the process of education.
- The study of marital relationships. Assessment of the degree of satisfaction with marriage, the level of conflict in a couple, existing contradictions.
Causes of the crisis
Why have family relationships stalled or cooled off? Main reasons on which family relationships can come to a standstill:
How to improve the situation?
How to improve family relations if they have cooled down? You can successfully get out of this situation by following the following advice from psychologists:
- To take the responsibility. Each spouse must realize their mistakes and draw appropriate conclusions. Recognizing problems and being willing to work on them can lead to significant change.
- Discuss all issues. It is important not to carry grudges. It only makes it worse. Constant open dialogue is the key to understanding in the family.
- Improve your sex life. Family relationships will never be cloudless if there are problems in the intimate sphere.
It is important to make efforts to solve problems in this area and to exclude thoughts of betrayal.
- Find common interests, hobbies. If partners have nothing in common, they will never be one. It is important to find some good occupation, a hobby that will unite the spouses.
So family relationships play a key role in the formation of personality and its development. The well-being of the family directly depends on the desire of all its members for mutual respect and support.
Psychology of relationships between men and women in the family:
