For many parents, this topic is burning. Indeed, every evening we put the children to bed: we read fairy tales, sing lullabies, persuade them, lull them to sleep ... All this can go on for quite a long time. Sometimes the process of falling asleep takes more than an hour. All the songs are sung, fairy tales are replacing one another, and the baby is spinning and spinning. Is it possible to teach a child to fall asleep on their own? And if so, how to do it?
It is quite possible to bring this idea to life. You will need some knowledge, patience, consistency in your actions and confidence that everything will work out. And of course - an individual approach. All children are different and there can be no single algorithm of actions. There is only a certain scheme, which will vary to some extent in each specific case. Usually, a mother's mother feels best of all what her baby is already ready for, and what needs to be postponed. Therefore, you should rely more on your maternal intuition.
Individuality begins to manifest itself almost from birth. Some children begin to fall asleep on their own from infancy, mostly calm, slow children. Movable and emotional babies often cannot fall asleep themselves and require at this moment someone's presence, more often their mother's. This is due to the fact that nervous system the child is still imperfect, the processes of excitation and inhibition are not balanced. Probably, many parents notice that a child who has played out cannot stop (even when he no longer wants to run and jump) and begins to be capricious. This happens because the nervous system is "overloaded" with the information received. And by the evening, as a rule, the number of impressions accumulates, so it is difficult for the child to calm down himself, for this he needs outside intervention.
Babies often like to fall asleep (and sometimes sleep) near their mother's breasts. They still have a largely sucking reflex, the need to feel their mother's warmth. They feel safe next to her and this feeling is still very necessary for them. Therefore, if a nursing baby categorically does not want to fall asleep on his own, do not insist. It is hardly possible to explain something to him now, so bear with him until he grows up a little. Older children can already be gradually led to the fact that they need to fall asleep on their own. At what age it is best to start - it is difficult to determine exactly. One child in a little over a year will learn without problems, and the other, and in two and a half, will require the presence of a mother. So this should be approached selectively.
The best place to start is with preparation. As already mentioned, by the evening the amount of information received is such that it is difficult for a child to cope with it. Therefore, as a rule, moodiness increases in the evening. An hour and a half before bedtime, switch your baby to quiet games. It is better if the toys, plots and books are familiar to him - there are enough new impressions for today. Save for this purpose a book, already read more than once, but not used for several days (or an already familiar game, toy). It is possible at this time to periodically leave the child alone in the room, at the same time making sure that he does not start to get nervous, anxious or too "acting out". Tinker with your baby before bed near his bed. Among other quiet subjects, you can suggest the following: putting dolls to sleep, putting cars in the garage, putting cubes in a box, or something else on the "sleepy" theme. It may not work out at first, since the child will want to play football or learn a new dance at this particular time. In this case, be patient, remain calm and believe in success, because children are just learning everything. And this process is far from always easy; moreover, it is the adult who plays the leading role in it. Your mood is transmitted to the child, so it is very important not to lose optimism.
But now it's time to go to bed. All the toys are folded, the evening exercise is behind and the baby is already in bed. It remains to sing a lullaby, say good night, kiss the child and leave him to fall asleep alone. Here it is important to introduce and subsequently observe a certain "ritual of falling asleep" - a set of actions that will mean that the day is over and it is time to rest. You can first lie down next to your baby, tell how wonderful he is, how you love him, be proud of him, what a treasure he is ... It is better to avoid direct eye-to-eye gaze - it helps to establish emotional contact. And this does not contribute to falling asleep at all. So lay the baby face down. It is better to give preference to a simple lullaby than to a fairy tale: an interesting plot includes fantasy and here, too, there is no time for sleep. If the child really insists, you can tell your favorite fairy tale, it is better if it is simple and short. Configure the baby that it is time for him to fall asleep himself, since he is already big, that you are always there and therefore there is nothing to be afraid of. It is very possible that the child will call you very soon - come back, calm down, kiss and again leave alone. At first, you will need several of these "approaches", but over time, the child will fall asleep very quickly. It is important that he does not cry for a long time without you - be near, literally "at the distance of a squeak." If your child has a favorite toy, offer to sleep with it.
It is much more convenient for the mother and more interesting for the baby - not to go to bed in the crib where he slept since birth, but, for example, on his own sofa. There are examples when the difficulty of falling asleep disappeared when the child got his own sofa: he became interested, he is “like an adult”. This will be relevant for older children - at the age of 2-3, when the child will already be able to appreciate such a "involvement" in the world of adults.
If the mother is mainly with the baby, then you can instruct his father (or another family member whom the child does not see so often) to lay it down. As a rule, with dads, children are much less capricious and behave more calmly. Persuasions and suggestions that it is time to fall asleep on their own, from daddy's lips, will most likely take effect. After all, you can "influence" mom with tears, screaming, but with dad, such a number generally does not work. The methodology remains the same, although if the Pope offers some reasonable innovation, it is worth listening.
A good helper in teaching a child to fall asleep on their own is the daily routine. Children who are accustomed to going to bed at the same time, as a rule, behave more calmly in life and, therefore, will be able to fall asleep more easily and faster on their own. If the child does not have a regime, it is worth working out. It will be easier for both you and him. Here, almost everything depends on parental self-discipline. Of course, it will take a lot of patience, perseverance and consistency, but in the end the result will please.
As a rule, children who fall asleep on their own fall asleep rather quickly. 5-10 minutes and the child is already asleep. This is good not only for the parents, but also for the child himself. Do not forget that all children are different. And if the baby resists your actions, does not want to fall asleep without his mother, cries and insists on her presence - do not persist. Set aside this venture for a while. The child grows quickly, matures, gets smarter. Perhaps in a few weeks everything will turn out much faster and easier. Just try again after a while.
The baby immediately after birth needs maternal warmth, attention and care. Children spend a significant part of the day sleeping. To make the baby fall asleep faster from time immemorial, motion sickness has been used. promotes rapid falling asleep of the newborn. However, there comes a time when the mother decides to teach the baby to fall asleep on her own, without breastfeeding or motion sickness. To make the transition painless for the baby, it is necessary to make the correct changes in the regime.
The motion sickness process reminds the baby of monotonous and measured movements when the baby is in the mother's belly. At the same time, the monotony of actions is associated in the subconscious of the baby with a sense of security, helps to calm down and fall asleep faster.
There is a version that such a ritual, preceding going to sleep, is able to develop the vestibular apparatus, which in the future will help the child more confidently maintain balance while walking.
To lay down infant sleep without motion sickness and breastfeeding, it is important to initially figure out why he cannot fall asleep for a long time. The reason for the restless behavior of the newborn is often due to the following:
- Insufficient fatigue of the crumbs. If the little one sleeps a lot and for a long time during the day, plays little in the fresh air, is limited in movement, and when it comes time to go to bed on night sleep, begins to be capricious, protest against laying.
- Unwillingness or fear of parting with mom. Children know the touch of the hand, smell, voice and heartbeat of the mother from birth. Having got used to falling asleep next to the mother's side, the child will be afraid and anxious because the usual situation has changed.
- Developing habits. If, from infancy, children are put to bed under measured motion sickness, they will develop a certain sequence of actions before falling asleep.
It is important for parents to know at what age it is better to teach the baby to fall asleep on his own in the crib without additional efforts on the part of loved ones. The recommended age range is quite wide - from 6 months to 2-3 years. As soon as the number of night feedings is reduced and the little one wakes up once during the night, you can start gradual accustoming. Starting the procedure up to a year, watch the reaction of the crumbs. If he's not ready, you better give up. A one-year-old baby will succumb to the new regime faster than a baby.
Dr. Komarovsky notes that the problem of self-sleep is not medical, but pedagogical. Parents can accustom any kid to a convenient schedule, the main thing is to have patience and perseverance. Frequent putting the child to bed with the help of motion sickness should be avoided, so as not to form stable habits in the crumbs.
How to teach a baby to fall asleep on their own
It is important to turn the process of putting the baby into bed into a calm and natural ritual. There is only one way to wean a baby from swinging - to stop rocking it. Be sure to tell the kid that he has his own sleeping place, prepare him for the upcoming changes. Even if the baby sleeps with his mother at night, daytime dreams should be spent in his own bed. Schedule your evening activities at the same time every day. The sequence of actions can be as follows:
- a walk on the street;
- bathing (you can use herbal decoctions for baths, which have a sedative effect);
- relaxing massage;
- time of quiet games;
- feeding;
- lullaby or fairy tale.
You cannot practice innovations, change the usual process of falling asleep and the child's regimen if the little one is sick or does not feel well. To revise the schedule, pick a time when the baby is completely healthy.
It is necessary to teach the child to distinguish between daytime and nighttime sleep. During the day, you should not draw the curtains, turn on the lamp, create a special atmosphere for sleeping. But at night, sounds and lights should be muted.
There are many proven ways to help your baby fall asleep in the crib:
- lie down next to;
- turn on soothing music;
- put your favorite toy next to it;
- tell the baby which animals (birds, toys) have already fallen asleep;
- a fairy tale or a lullaby will help to lull the baby;
- darkness promotes the production of a hormone that promotes falling asleep;
- white noise (hair dryer, radio noise, etc.);
- long sound w;
- soft slap on the back or shoulder.
Rituals of going to sleep, which are accompanied by the same sequence of actions performed, help to create a new regime. The ritual performed can be developed by the parents independently, based on the baby's schedule, his habits.
Allow the little one to fall asleep on mom's breast and put him in a crib, stroller. Put your clothes nearby. Feeling mom's smell, the baby will sleep better and more calmly. The main secret is to create a comfortable daily routine and stick to it despite all the difficulties. Time will pass and the baby will get used to the new rules of sleep and wakefulness.
Self-sleep techniques
Sonmonologists insist on the need to teach the child to fall asleep independently. It is important to take into account his age, type of temperament, etc. There are many methods of independent children's sleep. At the same time, they differ in the degree of parental involvement in sleep processes and radicalism in relation to the child.
Loyal methodology boils down to gradual impact speech and tactile techniques that, acting on the baby, will help you learn to calm down and fall asleep on your own.
Such influences include a complex of manipulations familiar to mothers. A warming bath with soothing herbs, protection from the impenetrability of light into the room, a lullaby or a fairy tale, a gentle mother's voice, melodious calm musical tunes help to calm down the child. At the same time, parents refuse to rock the baby, breastfeeding, pacifiers and other ways that cause sustained addiction.
Gradually, the baby adapts to the fact that at the moment of anxiety, waking up, he is not taken in his arms. The basis of the strategy is the consistency of the parents in their actions. At the same time, it is important not to set clear dates for achieving the goal, you should not focus on other people's successes. It is important for parents to evaluate the nature of the crying of the baby: of course, if the baby is crying from pain, hunger, the use of methods is stopped and the needs of the baby are satisfied. There are also cases when the baby requires tactile contact, which manifests itself in the form of hysterical crying. Such a state cannot be allowed - perhaps the baby is not ready for this method of accustoming to independence. Therefore, it is so important to rely on the individuality of each situation, the character of the child, age, temperament, etc.
Fading technique
It is considered one of the mildest and most long-lasting methods. Its essence lies in the smooth change of attachments. When falling asleep, mother distracts the baby from the breast (motion sickness, bottle) with other actions that are designed to interest the child (rhymes, fairy tales, lullaby, etc.). Using this option, the woman does not deprive the baby of the usual processes of falling asleep, but gently reduces the time of contact with the object. It may take 1.5 - 2 months to implement this technique.
Long goodbye method
This method is optimal for mothers who are not ready to put up with prolonged crying of the baby. Using this technique, parents gradually increase the distance between themselves and the baby's crib: when putting the baby to bed every day, it is necessary to sit down further and further from the child. At the same time, the baby does not feel fear of parting with his mother, because he hears her voice and knows that she is close.
Using this tactic, it is important to take into account several important points: the child goes to bed when he sends signals of readiness for sleep (yawns, rubs his eyes, movements slow down); if the baby expresses concern, the parents do not take the baby on their hands, but calm him down with soft strokes, talking to him; also, you should not allow the baby to cry intensively. The cycle of "moving" the mother's chair from the crib to the doorway can take from 10 to 20 days. Psychologists note that the mother should be sure of the necessity and correctness of her actions, because the baby can feel her insecurity and anxiety.
Elizabeth Pentley Method
The essence of this technique is to change the associations familiar to the baby, with which the baby is associated with the process of falling asleep. The author of the method recommends starting the laying procedure a little earlier than the accepted time, which will allow the baby to not overwork. Pentley also recommends replacing attachment with a toy or mom's thing (such as a scarf). The author also advises not to react to any grunting or whimpering. It is important that the baby learns to calm down from the gentle stroking, the sound of the mother's voice.
There are a number of techniques aimed at teaching the baby to sleep independently, the essence of which is to maintain and increase the parent's time interval between the beginning of crying and the moment when the mother approaches the baby to calm down. At the same time, the mother does not take the baby on her arms, but uses stroking, patting, white noise. It is worth noting that it is not recommended to use such methods for children under 6 months old, and some psychologists note that such techniques can be practiced only after 3 - years old when the baby is ready to "separate" from the mother.
What can prevent a child from sleeping
It so happens that a 12-month-old baby has already lost the habit of motion sickness, mother's efforts were not in vain. However, falling asleep in the crib, he often wakes up and cries. To make the night go well, determine what prevents the little one from resting calmly, eliminate the irritant:
- Wet diapers. In order for the child to write less at night, do not give him a lot of water, tea or compote before going to bed.
- Hunger. Dinner meals should be nutritious enough for your little one to have a hearty meal before bed.
- Increased noise level. Adult voices, TV or washing machine noise - common reasons anxiety crumbs.
- Uncomfortable indoor environment. The room should be cool and humid. The optimum air temperature is 18-22 degrees. Ventilate the area before bed.
- Uncomfortable clothes. Toddler clothes should be made of natural fabrics, not squeeze the body and neither interfere with movements, nor contain rough seams, appliqués.
- Insects, etc.
How long it will take to adapt the baby to the innovation depends on individual factors, his age. You should not put too much pressure on the baby, show perseverance, if the child requires the attention of the mother, wants to feel her closeness. You can agree with the baby, justifying your actions, gradually reducing the contact time and its frequency. For example, before going to bed, a mother sways for a few minutes while sitting on the bed, taking the child in her arms. Then she puts it in pastel and sings a lullaby. Gradually, the first stage of falling asleep is shortened, and the second is lengthened. It is worth noting that a mother who knows the habits and needs of her child better than others knows how to plan a scenario for a baby to go to bed.
Dear mothers! 2 days ago I found an interesting article on the site, in my opinion an excerpt from a book on how to teach a child to sleep on their own in 1 week. In general, here is this article. I wish you all PATIENCE !!!
CHAPTER 1
The child does not sleep, therefore, we do not sleep either. What happens to those who don't sleep enough? A child is not a machine, and when you leave the hospital, you are not given instructions for him, for example, when buying a washing machine. Then everyone begins to give advice to parents (relatives, friends, neighbors, etc.), especially if they hear the baby crying. Many say: "We must wait out the first months, then he will sleep like all children, where will he go." Many people come up with reasons: at first they do not sleep because they are too small, then because of the tummy, then because of the teeth, etc. Some give advice: "Stop crying, in the end he will calm down and fall asleep." Parents come up with all sorts of individual methods: driving in the car, leaving to sleep under the TV, etc.
We must finally admit: sleep is a serious thing, and it must be treated from a professional point of view, since not all children learn to sleep on their own without assistance.
Implications of childhood sleep problems for a young child
- often cries
- often in a bad mood
- does not feel loved enough
- overly dependent on parents / grandmothers
- growth retardation is also possible
For the student
- decreased academic performance compared to ability
- uncertainty as a character trait
- shyness
- character problems
For the parents of such a child
- self-doubt (are we doing the right thing?)
- a feeling of guilt (poor thing, she may not sleep because she suffers from something, but we cannot help and then we get angry)
- mutual accusations of parents that the other is spoiling the child
- a feeling of confusion in front of a problem
- the feeling that nothing can be done
- deep physical and mental fatigue
That is, the consequences of poor sleep are manifested in the behavior and character of the child.
The child does not sleep well - rests poorly - feels anxiety, small children do not calm down from excessive fatigue, but, on the contrary, are excited. A tired child who wants to sleep almost never asks to go to bed himself, but on the contrary, can demonstrate increased activity and excitability - often crying for no reason, easily gets into a bad mood and wants more attention from parents - begins to depend too much on who looks after him. In the future, this can lead to the formation of an insecure and timid character, to problems in communicating with others, to low academic performance, etc.
The health effects of poor sleep are not yet fully understood, but it has been proven that sometimes poor sleep can lead to stunted growth, as growth hormones are produced during sleep (during the first hours of sleep)
The critical age is 5 years. If a child has not learned to sleep well before the age of 5, in adulthood he has a great chance of having insomnia, 5 years is the border. At this age, the child already understands well what the parents want. Many children at this age go to bed, do not cry, do not call their parents, but the problem is not resolved, as they continue to fall asleep with difficulty and often wake up, only now they keep it to themselves. In the worst cases, the child starts having nightmares and other night problems, he cries that he does not want to go to bed. WITH adolescence insomnia remains for life.
Sometimes parents do not even understand the seriousness of this problem; it seems to them that everything will pass with age. In fact, 35% of children suffer from sleep problems under 5 years of age. But these data are underestimated, since many parents believe that it is normal if a child from 6 months to 2-3 years old (and sometimes further) does not want to go to sleep, wakes up 3-5 times at night, explaining this by hunger, desire to drink, write, etc. Therefore, surveys often do not give correct results. 35% - statistics of our center for the treatment of sleep problems.
From 6-7 months, a child is able to sleep alone in his room, in absolute darkness, and for 10-12 hours without waking up or requiring the presence of adults.
If your child is awake, as described above, it is natural that you ask yourself: what is happening, what is wrong? Why then does our child not sleep?
Forget those excuses that you used before: gas (disappear by 4-5 months), teeth, hunger, thirst, too much energy, went to kindergarten, etc. The reason is 98% the same: your child has not yet learned to sleep! Like this? -you ask. - What does it mean?
You will discover this for yourself in the chapters that follow. If you literally follow all our instructions, then in less than one week your child will turn into a night sleepyhead.
Before reading the other chapters, you must convince yourself of the following things:
- your child is not sick (if he sleeps badly - this is not a disease and it is not treated with medications: valerian, motherwort broths, etc.)
- your child does not have any psychological problems (excuses like: wakes up, because he feels parting with his parents, etc.)
-your child is not spoiled (even if everyone is trying to convince you otherwise). If he sleeps badly, this is by no means the consequences of being spoiled, even if this is expressed in the fact that he constantly requires the attention of his parents, wants to be lulled, rocked, carried in his arms, read to him, etc.
-If your child does not sleep well, it is not your fault.
Our book will help you teach your child how to sleep.
The 3-4 hour baby cycle consists of the following elements; food-sleep-hygiene (change diapers, etc.) The order can change (hygiene-sleep-food). Sometimes anarchist newborns are met. They do not even follow this simple pattern, that is, they fall asleep and wake up without any logic.
About 3-4 months (sometimes even a little earlier), babies usually begin to readjust to a cycle of 24 (25) hours, the so-called solar cycle. Therefore, he begins to sleep more at night. At first, the baby is able to sleep at night only 3-4 hours without waking up, then 5-6, then 7-8 and finally 10-12 hours. ATTENTION: there are no clear rules for the relationship between sleep duration and age, it all depends on individual characteristics your baby. This habituation to the adult cycle is associated with the development of a specific area of the brain, conventionally called the "internal clock".
To properly adjust this internal biological clock, certain external stimuli are required (light-darkness, noise-silence, eating schedule, certain habitual actions, etc.) Therefore, it is better for a newborn to sleep during the day with light light and little noise, and at night in silence and complete darkness. This is how the child begins to get used to the difference between night and day.
Thus, the child must be surrounded by certain external stimuli for correct orientation. In a nutshell, it boils down to two aspects:
Parental behavior
-feeling of confidence
-calmness
- patience and desire to teach the child to sleep
-repeatability in evening procedures
External elements
-bed
-pacifier
-toy (bear, dog, doll, etc., with which you can sleep)
Parental behavior
The child is very sensitive to the internal psychological state of the parents. He perfectly understands if mom is nervous or worried about something. Therefore, when you put your baby in the crib, try to be as calm as possible for this half hour and demonstrate with all your behavior that it cannot be otherwise, that it is natural and wonderful to go to sleep. You can't change the way you put it in the crib. Everything should always be practically the same (within reasonable limits). That is, at a certain hour everything should be repeated: you bathe him, then feed him, then change his diaper for the night, put him in his crib, turn off the light, wish him good night and go out. The order of your actions may be different, the main thing is that it should be repeated every evening.
Repetition gives the child confidence. He knows what will happen in 5-10 minutes, then in half an hour, and he feels safe. The kid is not alarmed, does not expect unexpected surprises, and therefore calms down. If in different days baby goes to bed by different persons(mother, grandmother, etc.), adults should agree among themselves not to change the order of procedures and try to do everything in the same way as possible.
External elements
The child must associate certain things with sleep. If you put a child to sleep by rocking him in your arms, he understands that rocking is a dream. Accordingly, as soon as you stop pumping it, it wakes up and in order to fall asleep again, it needs motion sickness. If the baby falls asleep at the breast, he gets used to the fact that food is a dream. And he will fall asleep only at the sissy or with a bottle in his mouth. Accordingly, as soon as he feels that there is nothing in his mouth, he will wake up. At night, everyone, adults and children, wakes up for a few seconds. Usually, a person then falls asleep and in the morning does not even remember about it. In older people, these awakenings can last longer than 30 seconds and reach 3-4 minutes. In a normal situation, a person remembers that he woke up only under exceptional circumstances. A normal child wakes up at night (for a few seconds) 5-8 times, and a child with problem sleep and more. If the child, when he opens his eyes for a moment, finds everything the same as it was when he fell asleep, he automatically falls asleep and sleeps on. If he is used to sleeping in a wheelchair around the house, he will expect to be in a wheelchair and ride around the house. If he fell asleep at his mother's breast, he will look for the breast. If dad fell asleep in his arms, he will look for dad, etc. If, opening his eyes at night, the baby does not find exactly the same situation in which he fell asleep, he is frightened and cries to call his parents. In the worst case, she will not be able to fall asleep without repeating her favorite situation.
An example for you: you fell asleep in your bed. At night you open your eyes for a second and you see that you are on the couch in the living room. You jump on the couch: what happened ?? !!! Why am I here??? The same happens with the child. As you understood, the child needs external elements, and here - attention - the mistake of most parents is that they choose the elements that require their presence. A child cannot prepare a bottle for himself, cannot walk around the house in a stroller, etc. Therefore, these are incorrectly selected items.
Therefore, it is necessary to choose such elements that can stay with the child all night and that do not require our intervention. It can be a teddy bear, a pacifier, his pillow, a blanket. The child should always fall asleep only in his own bed, etc.
Let's talk about this in more detail below.
Things to never do when trying to put a baby to sleep (over 6 months old)
-sing
-wave in the crib
-Download on hands
- swing in a stroller
-take by car
-touch him, give him a hand, let him touch us
- caress, iron on the head
-Parents bedding
-allow him to jump around the bed / room until exhaustion in the hope that later he will fall asleep faster
-giving food and drink
Takeaway: Never actively help your child fall asleep. He must learn to fall asleep himself.
A newborn sleeps differently from a 4-month-old baby, and he does not sleep like a 2-year-old baby. Sleep patterns develop over time with age. In this chapter, we will explain to you what to expect from your little one at a certain age. If you give proper attention to sleep and falling asleep from birth, you will have no problems in the future.
How to teach a newborn. The main thing to know is that the newborn sleeps as much as he needs - no less, no more. He can fall asleep anywhere and with any noise. As mentioned above, its cycle is usually 3-4 hours. I ate, slept, pooped, changed clothes, etc. If your newborn does not follow any pattern, do not worry - this is completely normal. At this stage, food and sleep are closely related, so the baby wakes up because he wants to eat and falls asleep because he is full. However, one must be careful here: if a child cries, this does not necessarily mean that he is hungry (many mothers immediately breastfeed, since this is the most easy way reassure the baby, but this is wrong). First (if the child has recently eaten - the interval should be 3-4 hours) try to find other reasons: is he hot? cold? is he wet? wants to handle? tired of noisy society? does your tummy hurt? Only then give him a breast. If you breastfeed him every time he cries, the baby will become accustomed to associating the breast with sleep and tranquility. He will get used to the fact that in order to calm down, you need to eat. Already in a few weeks, babies are able to eat more than they need. If you give him your milk, from a medical point of view, there is no problem, but it still leads to wrong habits, since the feelings of sleep and hunger are controlled by the same part of the brain. In addition, such children grow into adults who, when nervous, begin to eat everything in order to calm down. If you feed him artificial milk, then feeding too often can lead to obesity in early childhood or adulthood.
It is not yet time for the hard introduction of timetables. However, we advise you to show your child the difference between sleep and wakefulness. If he is awake, take him on handles, play with him, talk. If he is awake, try not to keep him in the crib. This will help him understand that the crib is a place to sleep (see the previous chapter on external elements).
During the day, put him to sleep in a light light, and at night do not leave the night light on. This will help your child understand the difference between night and day.
During the day, do not walk on tiptoe, even if the baby fell asleep, at night try not to make noise behind the wall or in the same room. During the day you can vacuum, play the piano, etc. In the evening, when the baby is already in the crib, turn down the sound on the TV, etc.
Redeem it before bed. Some parents will prefer to bathe their baby in the morning, but if it is more convenient for you to do it in the evening, the baby will have another outer element associated with sleep. He will quickly get used to the fact that after the bath he goes to bed.
Provide him with maximum sleep comfort. If he has just eaten, hold him upright to let the air out of his stomach. Change it, check that the bed is not too cold, that the room is about 20 degrees.
From the very birth, the baby should get used to sleeping on its own. Try not to rock him in your arms. Try not to associate food too much with sleep. However, if at this age it still does not work out, do not be upset. Your baby is still too young. Use common sense. In any case, it is useless to leave your baby crying for hours.
Many babies start sleeping 5-7 hours at night and earlier, but by 3-4 months all babies should be sleeping. At this age, the biological rhythm changes. If initially you did not follow any rules (rocked the child, gave him a breast to lull him to sleep), then now the time has come to gradually change these habits.
Remember:
-you should be calm at the moment of laying the baby
-help him to connect some external elements with the hour of going to bed, it is necessary to perform the same actions every night before going to bed. Remember that for a child, repeatability means a sense of security.
This is the age when it is already necessary to decide at what time the baby should go to the crib. From a biological point of view, sleep in children is easiest in the summer from 20.30 to 21.00, and in the winter - from 20.00 to 20.30 Choose daily procedures, which you will then repeat every evening: bathing, changing diapers, 10 minutes of quiet games with dad, etc. .d. Pay attention to how your baby reacts to bathing - if he doesn't like the water or is too excited, only have a short swim before bed, or transfer them altogether into the morning. It is better not to let your baby eat next to the bed to separate food and sleep. Spend a few minutes with your baby in another room (where he does not sleep), talk to him, play quiet games, etc. Then put him in the crib with his things - you can choose what you want; teddy bear, doll, nipple (a few are better, then it will be easy to find at night, for example, tie 4 nipples to the edges of a large handkerchief) The main thing is that what you give him can stay with him all night and does not require your repeated intervention. Kiss the baby, wish him good night. Then leave the room while the child is still awake.
If you do everything right, the baby will enjoy the time before bed, he will recognize him and go to bed without any problems. However, if your baby, despite your efforts, does not lend itself to "education", do not worry: before 6-7 months it is too early to talk about childhood insomnia. It's just that your baby needs more time to transition to the adult cycle.
If he wakes up frequently at night, check:
- did you get sick?
- is he too wrapped up or is he cold?
- pee or poop?
- does not eat enough before going to bed? (if he is hungry, he should not eat at night, but the last meal should be larger)
- did the baby have gas (colic)? If so, he is used to waking up with abdominal pain.
Help him. You can shake it, caress it and put it back in the crib. However, remember that your goal is to teach him to fall asleep on his own.
Attention: in the first weeks of life, a child never cries for no reason. Therefore, we must immediately try to understand what the matter is and help him. However, you will soon notice that the baby has different types of crying: he is protesting, he is hungry, he is wet, he is angry, he is bored, etc. Once you learn to distinguish between crying for serious reasons and simple whimpering, do not run to your baby every time because of nonsense. Wait a few minutes - maybe he can fall asleep himself again.
From 6 months, any child should sleep less during the day (usually twice: after breakfast 1-2 hours and after lunch 2-3 hours) and more at night. At 7 months, the child should already have a meal-sleep schedule (eating 4-5 times a day, sleeping 10-12 hours at night without waking up).
If your baby is 6-7 months old, and he is not yet accustomed to such a regime, start "education".
For a baby 6-7 months old is normal
- established regular meal-sleep schedule
- eats 4-5 times a day
- sleeps 10-12 hours at night
- goes to bed willingly and without problems
If your child fits this description, don't relax too much, as all the little details can easily ruin a young child's good sleeping habits. Try to maintain a regular meal-and-sleep routine and repeat activity before bedtime.
From the age of 7-9 months, the baby will not fall asleep if he is too tired. At this age, children know how not to fall asleep, even if they are very tired. Sometimes because they want to stay longer with their parents, sometimes because they are too tired or excited, etc. Don't let yourself be persuaded. Put your baby to bed at the same time, repeating the same steps. Try not to stretch your steps to lay the baby for an hour (baby's dream). Children who already know how to speak quickly learn to bribe their parents: one more kiss, read another fairy tale, just one, etc., I am thirsty, I want to write ... ... Do not read anything interesting and exciting to him at night! It prevents him from falling asleep!
After a year, the baby gradually switches from two daytime dreams to one. This is a difficult time, since there is a period when one dream is not enough, and two is a lot, but the problem disappears in 1-2 months. After lunch, the child should sleep until 4 years old, and preferably until 5-6. Many parents and caregivers allow their child not to sleep as early as 3 years old. This is too early. A child at three years old is able to stay awake during the day, but in this case he is too tired in the evening, he has too deep sleep, which in turn can lead to various problems (nightmares, etc.).
When we understand that the child has learned to sleep. The baby can sleep well even at 10 months old, without any visible problems. However, at least until the age of 5 you need to be careful, as some event (moving, the appearance of a brother, etc.) can destroy good habits. As soon as you notice problems arising, use the method described in chapter 4. So our advice is: even if your child already knows how to sleep, be careful, follow the evening routines and schedule.
One final note: be realistic !!!
Many parents do not know how to be realistic and want the impossible from their children. If your child slept less than the norm for his age in the first month of life, then even three years after applying our method, he will sleep less. If he has learned to sleep, he will go to bed without problems, he will not wake up at night, he will sleep for 10 hours. But he will not become a dormouse if he is not a dormouse by nature!
Many parents rejoice when their children sleep a lot during the day (finally, you can go about your business!). The child cannot sleep 4-5 hours after lunch and 12 hours at night! Even if it is very pleasant for you that the child is asleep, wake him up after 2-3 hours of sleep. A child should never sleep during the day without waking up more than 3 hours!
Other parents put their toddler to bed at 8pm and want him to wake up at 10am. A child is not a clockwork robot! He has his own biological rhythms, they must be respected, not destroyed!
The ideal pajama is one that keeps your baby cool and can sleep without a blanket. Little children always open up at night
CHAPTER 4
Let's start at the beginning, or how to fix your child's sleeping habits. What is normal for a baby and what is not? When can we talk about childhood insomnia?
Many parents consider it normal to get up at night 2-3, or even 4-5 times before a one and a half year old child to give him a bottle. But this is NOT the NORM, just like the case when an 8-month-old baby does not sleep until midnight without any signs of fatigue, or when a one-year-old baby starts screaming loudly, as soon as the mother, having put him in the crib, wants to leave the room.
From 6-7 months of age, all children should be able to:
- go to bed without crying and with joy
- fall asleep on your own without assistance alone in the room
- sleep 10-12 hours without a break
- sleep in your crib (and not in your parents' bed), in the dark without the included night light
This description applies to all healthy children if they do not have colic (which usually go away by 4-5 months), milk intolerance, acute respiratory infections, bronchitis, etc. If your baby is already 6 months old and is not sick, but has not yet learned to sleep all night, he may have problems with childhood insomnia in the future.
Children's insomnia is explained by:
- in 98% of cases, the wrong sleeping habit
- in 2% of psychological problems (see the end of the chapter)
Childhood insomnia caused by poor habits has the following characteristics:
- the child cannot fall asleep on his own without assistance
- wakes up at night (from 3 to 15 times) and cannot fall asleep again and requires parental help (motion sickness, bottle, etc.)
- shallow sleep - the slightest noise can wake him up
- sleeps fewer hours than indicated in the table for his age
In such cases, parents resort to auxiliary methods: shake the baby, pat on the head, give food, drink, etc. The kid eventually falls asleep, but the problem is that when he wakes up again, he has to start all over again.
If you decide to change this situation, you must follow the following rule: you must strictly follow our instructions, follow them literally, the slightest deviation or change can lead to failure!
What do you need to develop the right sleeping habits? Let's repeat the general rules:
- parents should be calm and confident in what they are doing, and also always follow the same pattern in behavior when laying the baby down, create a ritual.
- the child should associate the dream with external elements that can remain with him all night: a crib, a bear, a pacifier, a favorite blanket, etc.
So, let's forget the past and imagine that our baby was born today.
Let's start by choosing the outer elements. Remember that they should stay with the baby all night (that is, they should not be dangerous, too small so that he can swallow them, hard so that he does not hit in a dream, etc.) and that they should not require our presence (for example , a bottle of tea is not suitable as someone has to refill it at night). With a child 2-5 years old, you can prepare a drawing to hang over the bed. After dinner, dad (mom) says to the kid: "We go into the room, draw a beautiful picture." The kid himself can draw a sun or a cloud over the house, and dad can add a bird or a tree, etc. Mom can prepare a carousel to hang over the bed (it is enough to cut a doll out of paper, an airplane, make a ball out of shiny paper and hang over the crib with a rope or elastic band). You don't have to create masterpieces, you can just buy something suitable. The main thing is that the child has something fundamentally new, which did not exist before and what he likes.
If you used to put him to bed in different ways every night, now you need to create a ritual. Decide for yourself what is more convenient for you: swimming, dinner, half an hour of playing and going to bed. What you decide now, you will have to do the same every night.
Let me give you some tips. In accordance with natural biological rhythms, it is best to give your child a meal according to the following schedule: breakfast around 8 am, lunch around 12, afternoon tea around 4 pm and dinner around 20. Try not to deviate too much from this schedule, as these are the biological rhythms of children. In any case, if for some reason you cannot adhere to this whole schedule, remember: the child most easily falls asleep in winter at 20.00 - 20.30, and in the summer at 20.30 - 21.00. This is due to the peculiarities of the brain of babies.
The first day of re-education. So, you have everything ready, the schedule and the evening ritual are selected. After dinner, dad (mom, grandmother) play quiet games with the baby for 10-15 minutes, then they hang the drawing together over the crib. They explain that this is a poster and that he will sleep with the baby all night. If the baby is still sleeping with a pacifier, buy him several, lay them on the bed so that it is easy for the baby to find at least one in the dark. If you don't think about this moment, the baby will wake you up at night so that you can help him find a pacifier and then - goodbye, re-education!
The second step: mom or dad choose a toy from those that the baby already has and give him a name. After that, they say to the kid: This is your friend Mishka (Petya and others). He will sleep with you all night. Do not let the baby choose: remember, we know how to sleep and teach him, and not he us, now you decide. Even if your child is 4 years old, in this situation we must treat him like a newborn who still does not know anything and does not know how.
If you have to deprive your baby of something that he had before (a bottle, etc.), explain to him that his new night friends are replacing old ones and that they will stay with him all night and in the morning when he wakes up. with him.
Remember
-the requests and demands of the baby at the time of bedding can affect the correct sleeping habits
-the child should not tell his parents how he should sleep and what he needs for this, in this situation, parents are teachers, and children learn to sleep, and not vice versa. The calm, confident tone of the parents should show this to the children.
So, the moment has come to put your baby in the crib. Act like you do it every day. Calmly change your baby's clothes, put him in the crib and cover. Do not expect the baby to close its eyes, turn on its side and snore. Firstly, the baby has not yet been “re-educated,” and secondly, he has already realized that you have prepared some kind of surprise for him. Most likely, he will immediately jump to his feet and start screaming in a wild voice as soon as he realizes that his mother wants to leave the room. Do not try to lay it down again immediately. Sit next to the bed or take him on your lap and tell him: “Kitty, mom and dad want to teach you how to sleep. Look, you are not left alone: with you your bear, drawing, etc. They will all sleep with you all night. " This speech will take 0.5 to 2 minutes. Depends on what you list (curtains, bike next to the crib, etc.). The main thing is not to get irritated and speak calmly. It doesn't matter at all whether the child understands well what you are telling him. Most likely, during all your speech, the child will scream like a cut in the hope that he will be able to return the old days. Ignore the crying, keep talking. These are moments that require willpower and courage from you. Your little one will be ready for anything in order not to lose their "privileges". Here is just a short list of what the children were capable of in our practice in order to pity their parents and return "their happy past": the children cried, made sad faces, asked to drink, write and eat, threw tantrums with hiccups, caused themselves to vomit, poop etc.
Despite all this performance that your baby will arrange for you, you should not lose your peace of mind and remember: you are teaching him to sleep, and he is not you. You are doing this for his future, for his health, and for your nervous system.
After your short speech above, put your baby back in bed.
Attention: after this point, it must not be touched until the next morning. If he gets up again, ignore it. Tell: " Goodnight, fish (pussy, etc.) ”, turn off the light and leave the room. Leave the door almost completely closed (small click to hear what is happening).
Attention: it makes no difference whether the baby is 6 months old or 5 years old. The only difference is how he can fight you. A six-month-old baby can only cry, while a 4-5-year-old can talk, scream, beg, get out of bed, etc. In this case, we advise you to organize some kind of barrier to exit the room.
Do not lock the door with a key, etc. It can terrorize your child! Do not be afraid if he falls asleep on the floor, etc. Firstly, children rarely do this, because they love convenience, and secondly, even in this case, the goal is achieved - the baby fell asleep by himself. Then you just need to put him in the crib.
Up to this point, we have considered the point of view of adults. But how does the baby feel in such a situation?
Children communicate with adults according to a certain pattern: action-reaction. Children do certain things because they expect certain reactions. Consider the situation: a baby is six months old. They put him in the bed, he begins to sing "ah-ah-ah" and clap his hands. What will mom and dad say? "What a bunny!" And they will go about their business. But the same baby starts screaming like a cut, turns brown-red or purple, hiccups. What are parents doing? They run: “Bunny, are you feeling bad? What's the matter? Does your tummy hurt? Teeth being cut? Kitty, now mom (dad) will shake you (vilify on the arms, etc.) ”. What does the baby like more: to lie alone in the crib or to be in the center of attention of all relatives? What will the baby do the next time he wants the attention of his parents? And what will a 4-5 year old child do? He has enough imagination to make his parents back down first!
Let's go back to the bedding process. What will our 4 year old baby do as soon as we give him his bear? Perhaps throw it to the floor. If you pick him up and give him again, what will he do? Throw the bear on the floor again. If we continue like this, who will win? Baby!!! Because he took a certain action and achieved the desired reaction. You fell for his bait! If your baby threw a bear, pacifier, blanket, pillow on the floor, and you continue to speak calmly, then collect everything, put it in his bed, turn around and leave the room despite his wild cries, who will win?
Another example: you put the baby in the crib, and he immediately rises to his feet. You put it down again, it rises again. You do not want to lay him down all night, but he wants to continue this game as long as possible, because in this way he completely takes over your attention. So put him in the crib and leave the baby alone. If he wants to go up, let him go up as much as he wants.
What else can your baby do to get your attention? "I want to drink", "ah-ah", "bo-bo", etc. The child may even vomit. Do not be alarmed, nothing happens to him. Wash it, change the sheet and put it back in the crib. You may be nervous (but don't show it outwardly). Remain outwardly calm and determined: your child must learn to sleep. The kid can also scream and cry like a cut (then tell neighbors that his ears hurt, the poor thing). In such a situation, the baby may cry so loudly that the windows of the neighbors on the contrary may clink. But take courage and hold on: your "war" has just begun, and fortunately it will only last a few days. However, we cannot leave the baby crying for long. Why? Because “re-educating” does not mean punishing. Usually, parents are advised to leave the baby crying until he falls asleep from fatigue. Never do that!
When you leave the room for the first time, take a look at the clock: until the baby falls asleep, you will have to return to his room from time to time. REMEMBER, you are not coming back to calm him down, or to make him stop crying, or to put him to sleep. And only to show him that you have not left him. How often should you return to the baby? Consider the table below, it all depends on the day of re-education and what time you return. The table shows the intervals in minutes.
How many minutes should I wait before returning to the room where the baby is crying?
1 day -1 min (1 time) 3 min (2 times) 5 min all subsequent times
Day 2 - 3 minutes (1 time) 5 minutes (2 times) 7 minutes all subsequent times
Day 3 - 5 minutes (1 time) 7 minutes (2 times) 9 minutes all subsequent times
Day 4 - 7 minutes (1 time) 9 minutes (2 times) 11 minutes all subsequent times
Day 5 - 9 minutes (1 time) 11 minutes (2 times) 13 minutes all subsequent times
6 day - 11 minutes (1 time) 13 minutes (2 times) 15 minutes all subsequent times
Day 7 - 1Z min (1 time) 15 min (2 times) 17 min all subsequent times
Note: This table should be used both in the evening and at night if the baby wakes up at night.
What should a parent who has returned to a baby do? I must once again tell him in a calm voice: “Zolotko, I have to sleep. Mom and Dad will teach you how to sleep now. You will sleep with your teddy bear and pacifier, etc. Goodnight". If the baby has got out of the crib by this time, you must put him there again. If the baby is not able to get out, you need to stop far enough from him so that he cannot cling to us. After this little speech, you must calmly leave the room. When you return to your baby, you don't need to turn on the light. If the baby is crying, do not react, continue your speech, and then get out.
Never wait longer than indicated in the table; the worst thing for a baby is to think that his parents do not like him and that they have abandoned him. At the same time, try to gather all your strength and, although your heart will shed tears, try to gain strength for a few days and follow all the instructions: the results will exceed all your expectations!
Your return will help the kid understand that he will not achieve anything with tears and screams, and then that going to bed is not so scary. How long can your baby cry? Depends on the specific case. The most stubborn, however, usually do not scream for more than 2 hours. Many give up in an hour. If the baby wakes up at night, everything must be done as in the evening. The child does not understand the schedules, does not understand the difference between night and evening, so you have to go in and out again and say the same words
Psychological problems - 2% when the method does not work. The reasons can be temporary, such as: divorce, parents are especially nervous because of any serious problems, moved to sleep from the parents' room to a separate one, a brother was born, went to kindergarten, saw a terrible movie on TV, etc. You need to determine what the cause is and try to eliminate or weaken it. Because of the movie, the first day in kindergarten, etc. the child may sleep poorly for 2-3 days. Problems that last for a long time should be treated by a psychotherapist or neurologist. For more details see. See chapter 7.
How long should the baby sleep? Children are all different. There are sleepyheads among them, and there are those who sleep much less than the norm. Here are the average data - how many hours a day your child should sleep: 1 week ... 16-17 hours, 3 months .... 15 hours, 6 months ... 14 hours, 12 months .... 13 hours 45 minutes, 18 months ... 13 hours 30 minutes, 2 years ... 13 hours, 3 years ... 12 hours, 4 years ... 11 hours 30 minutes, 5 years .... 11 hours.
Your baby can sleep up to two hours more or two hours less. If the baby does not meet the specified standards, pay attention to the following points.
The baby sleeps less than normal and:
- easily irritated
- moody
- sometimes looks drowsy
- has difficulty concentrating attention, often seems inattentive
- there are moments when he looks absently at one point
If the baby sleeps less than normal and has any of the above behavioral features, then he should sleep more. If he sleeps less than normal, but he does not have any of the above signs, then everything is in order and your child just needs less sleep.
The baby sleeps more than normal and:
- gains in height and weight according to the norms
- attentive
- active when awake
If you answered “yes” to all three questions, do not worry, fate gave you a baby dormouse. ”If you answered“ no ”to at least one question, talk to your pediatrician about it and check the child's health.
How to change your baby's daily routine? There are babies who sleep a lot during the day, but little at night. Or those who willingly go to bed at 7 pm, but wake up at 5 am. In such cases, you can gradually change their mode according to your wishes.
If your baby sleeps a lot during the day and little at night, do not let him sleep a lot during the day, even if it is convenient for you. Find in the table how much you should sleep according to age, estimate how many hours you want him to sleep during the day and how many at night. Make a schedule. In any case, it is better not to let the baby sleep more than 2-3 hours during the day (if he sleeps only once during the day). Ideally - 10-12 hours at night, the rest during the day. For example:
18 months - daily sleep 13.30 (at night 11 and day 2.30 or at night 12 and day 1.30)
If your toddler falls asleep at 7pm and wakes up too early, you can move his schedule by sending him to bed half an hour later in the week. That is, the first week he will go to bed at 7.30, the second at 8.00 and the third at 8.30. In any case, it is better to put him in bed no later than 8.30 - 9.00. We repeat, even if it is convenient for you, the habit of going to bed late for young children can develop into serious problems in the future. See the previous chapters for an ideal schedule. If half an hour is too much for the baby, shift sleep by 15 minutes a week (7.00 - 7.15-7.30, etc.) Everything else (evening procedures before bedding) should remain as before.
CHAPTER 6
Nocturnal worries may wake the baby or not. This state of half-sleep: sleepwalking, nightmares, phobias, bruxism, night delirium, swaying movements. In childhood, these problems are usually not pronounced, the critical age is from 3 to 6 years.
Sleepwalking (sleepwalking). A classic example: a five-year-old toddler gets out of bed, turns on the light, goes to the bathroom instead of the toilet and pees into the bathtub or shoe, returns to bed, turns off the light and falls asleep. The next day he doesn't remember anything. Usually occurs in the first half of sleep. The reasons are unknown, there is no cure either. It is usually inherited and passes by adolescence. At night, the child automatically repeats the actions that he does during the day. He has no clarity of consciousness and therefore is “mistaken”. But this is not a dangerous deviation.
You only need to take precautions. The sleepwalker is never thrown out of the window, but can get out of it, mistaking him for the door. Don't wake up the child. If he wanders around the apartment, try to put him to bed again, without taking him out of his state. Talk to him in simple phrases like: "Come here, go to bed." Remember, even if his eyes are open, he is deeply asleep.
Nightmares. Happen in the second half of sleep (if the baby goes to bed at 8 pm, then after 2 am). These are terrible dreams. The child wakes up screaming, all frightened, but can explain what scared him: “I was bitten by a dog, Vasya beat me”, etc. Parents can reassure him: "Sleep, you see, there is no dog here." Usually these phenomena are associated with events in the life of the baby that bother him. Usually resolves in a few days. If the problem persists, nightmares remain. For example, if you force a baby to eat and every meal becomes torture for him. If your child has nightmares, you do not need to go to the doctor, you need to try to calm him down when he wakes up, and then understand what caused them and try to eliminate the cause. Don't take your baby to your bed.
Night phobias (fears). In the first half of sleep. The kid suddenly starts screaming, it seems that something is tormenting him very much. The parent is caught by the baby pale, sweating, not recognizing the parents. If parents do not know about these problems, they may think that the baby is dying. It usually lasts from 3 to 10 minutes. The kid does not understand what is happening, as he is deeply asleep. You need to be with him, waiting for the attack to pass. The next day he doesn't remember anything. If the baby recognizes you and immediately calms down, then this is either a bad dream, or a trick to attract your attention.
Bruxism (teeth grinding). Check with your dentist if this is harmful to your teeth. Although parents are impressed by this, this is not a problem, it will go away over time.
Night delirium. In the early morning, the baby can laugh, talk, cry and scream in his sleep. It's not scary, the only problem is that such screams can wake up the baby himself.
Rocking motion. Example: banging his head against a pillow, lying with his stomach down and swinging. Usually from 9 months to 2 years. Usually okay. If it sways during the day, check with a psychotherapist.
Snore. Snore from 7% to 10% of children. If in a dream because of this it is difficult for the baby to breathe and he sleeps, breathing through his mouth, consult a specialist.
CHAPTER 7
Questions and answers,
or how to solve the most common problems.
When is the best time to start re-educating your baby? Now and only now. Of course, only under certain conditions:
-Both parents agree to see the case through
-Both parents carefully read the book and understood every action well
-Both parents have a good idea of how to react at any moment.
If one of the parents does not feel ready, it is better not to start, as confidence and calmness are needed for success. Let's repeat: children perfectly feel the mood of adults nearby. There is no need to start training and at the time of the move, for at least the first 10 days, the baby should always sleep in the same place. Other reasons for postponing the event: guests who live in your house. Because there is nothing worse than the comments of visiting relatives and friends: “Poor thing, how she is straining. Are you absolutely sure of what you are doing? " or: “Now young people want everything easy. There is no patience at all. In our time, parents knew how to endure and not sleep, if required for the child. He's so small! " As an obstacle, there are also neighbors who, from caustic remarks and sympathetic sighs, can reach threats: "We will call the police that you are mocking the child!"
For neighbors, we recommend doing this: choose the most actively interfering in your affairs and call them in advance. Say: “Our poor thing caught otitis media, we want to apologize in advance for his night crying. The pediatrician said that for several days he would be in great pain and he would not be able to sleep. "
Who Should Do Sleep Reeducation? Mama? Dad? Granny? Nanny?
It doesn't matter who. It is important that those who put the child to bed (day or night) are well acquainted with the instructions. Adults can change (grandmother in the afternoon, mom in the evening). It is important that everyone acts the same. In the evening, you can take turns: once mom comes in, the other - dad.
Can a child sleep with grandparents?
Parents are created to bring up children, grandparents - to pamper their grandchildren. This means that at least 10 days must elapse from the beginning of the re-education before leaving the baby with the grandmother. Do not try to convince your grandmother to act the same way with you: this is usually useless. This is logical, given that their role is different. The grandmother needs to be explained only the basic rules: what time the baby goes to bed, that it is not necessary to put him to sleep and that he must not forget all his things (bear, pacifier, etc.). Grandmothers usually do what they think is right anyway. Do not fight with them about this. Toddlers are much smarter than they seem: they immediately understand that grandmother's rules are different from those at home. When your child is sleeping in your home, behave as usual.
However, if the baby sleeps with the grandmother every day, she will have to familiarize herself with these rules and follow them, otherwise it will not work to teach the child to sleep.
Everyone who takes care of the baby every day should follow these rules.
What if my baby is vomiting or pooping / peeing to keep her parents at her crib?
Children often vomit in order to gain the sympathy of their parents. Even if this has never happened before, don't worry. DON'T BE ANGRY (or at least don't show it). Our goal is to teach a child to sleep, not to punish him. Change your baby's clothes, put him back in the crib, say something like: “You see a bunny, you are so angry that we teach you to sleep that you even ... pee / poop / made yourself vomit. Look, here are your toys, your bear, your nipple, they will sleep with you all night. " And leave the room. Do not stop, even if during all this time the baby is screaming like a cut. Act as if nothing strange is happening and the baby is calm. Remember: all your baby's actions are aimed at getting extra attention. He wants to drink, sit in his arms, etc. Don't give him the desired result. Be calm and continue your line.
Don't change it right away, wait a few minutes. Otherwise, the baby will start writing every three seconds. Pissing - mom runs, changes clothes - the baby gets attention immediately - his goal has been achieved!
Is it possible to re-educate a child if he is sick or sick after the start of upbringing?
If the baby is sick, it is better to leave him alone and wait until he recovers. If you get sick after starting, you will have to go to him every time he cries, especially if he has a fever. Give him some water to drink. But remember; you give him a drink because he has a fever, not to put him to sleep. Then repeat to him all the words about the bear and the pacifier and try to leave the room before you fall asleep. If you woke up, do not wait minutes according to the table, go to him immediately. As soon as the temperature passes, severe runny nose and cough that make breathing difficult, proceed with re-education according to the scheme. Remember, your little one will try to preserve the privileges gained during the illness. Be calm, gentle, but determined.
Why do some children sleep without problems from birth, while others become a horror for their parents? Is this due to heredity?
A baby is born with a built-in sleep-wake mechanism set for 3-4 hours. Gradually (usually in the region of 2-3 months), this mechanism, called the biological clock (special cells of the brain), changes, rebuilding itself to a regime of 24 hours. For some children, this restructuring process comes with problems, that is, it needs outside help, in setting (schedule, external elements). Problems occur on average in 35% of cases. The same family may have children with and without problems. There is no exact scientific information why this happens.
Everyone knows that you can't drink coffee at night, are there any prohibitions on other baby drinks or foods?
In the evening, it is better not to give the baby anything exciting to drink, since in difficult cases even the smallest pathogens can affect sleep. Better to avoid before bed: coffee, coca-cola, cocoa, chocolate, meat in large quantities. In the evening, it is better to give cereals, pasta, cookies (not chocolate).
Is it necessary to bathe my baby before bedtime?
You can bathe him when it is more convenient for you. This is an acquired habit and it depends on you how your baby gets used to. If you bathe it in the evening, it could be another element of sleep. It is important to wash your baby at about the same time. Try not to excite him by bathing. Calm bathing can help you relax.
Can a toddler watch TV before bedtime?
Watching TV is not harmful to a child, just as it is not harmful to listen to radio or music. It is harmful to watch a lot and without control. The kid can watch TV for no more than half an hour, it is better if in the presence of his parents, who, if necessary, can explain what is happening. It is better to watch TV between 18 and 19 00, before starting the procedures for laying the bed (dinner-bathing-playing-crib). You can't leave him in front of the TV after dinner or just before going to bed, as what he sees can excite him or he may fall asleep in front of the TV if he is very tired, which is unacceptable for the correct development of the sleeping habit.
Our baby is afraid of the dark ...
It just means that you have done many things wrong so far. If your baby is used to sleeping with a little light, he may wake up at night because the light is off. The kid realized that if he says: "I'm afraid" - the light will appear again, and most importantly, he will receive the attention of his mother. We need to make sure that the baby is not psychologically ill (it is easy to check: if he has serious psychological problems, will be afraid of the dark at any time of the day, not just when you need to sleep). The problem at other times of the day manifests itself as follows: one is afraid to go to the toilet, watch TV, if there is no one in the room, is afraid to go with mom to the store, etc. Fortunately, this type of problem is rare, and the baby usually uses it as a trick to get attention.
Once you are satisfied that your baby is not having serious psychological problems, follow the directions in Chapter 4.
What can cause insomnia in a child?
Changes in habits and the usual course of life. For example, the appearance of a brother completely changes the life of the first-born, who is no longer the favorite baby of the whole house. The same can happen due to the start of the visit. kindergarten... Parents, firstly, should try to give enough attention to the baby in this difficult transition period and try to ensure that the second child does not affect the sleep schedule of the first. That is, there is no need to make another common mistake: rocking the first-born, putting him in a crib in a special way, etc. We need to explain to him what changes have taken place and act as before. Usually, if the parents are attentive enough to the problem, the child will begin to sleep well again after a few days. Likewise with moving to a new apartment. Explain to the child what he will have new house but that his crib, doll, etc. and in the future they will sleep with him.
If you already have problems, turn to Chapter 4 and do another Sleep Training Series.
My baby sleeps more during the day than at night ...
This means that your baby's biological clock has not yet been set. See Chapter 5 for instructions.
Every night my daughter wakes up for 14 months and asks for a drink. I give her a bottle. Sometimes she doesn't even touch her, sometimes she drinks and then falls asleep. How can this behavior be explained?
Often children ask for milk or water at night, drink and eat, but this does not mean at all that they are really hungry or thirsty. Many children already at a few months understand that if they cry at night, they will be given a sisyu or a bottle. In most cases, babies just want human warmth, the presence of their parents, but still cannot speak to explain it. They drink or eat a little to be with mom or dad, then fall asleep. Usually, this behavior of children leads to the fact that parents give them a drink for every night they cry. When these babies grow up, they learn to use this trick with even greater dexterity. They force their parents to get up with them almost every night, since now they associate the bottle with sleep. Remember: the fact that a child asks for some water does not mean that he is thirsty.
The child should drink during the day, not at night. A normal child, if he drinks enough during the day, does not need extra water at night. The same applies to sleep: if the baby eats well during the day and grows according to the norms, from 6-7 months he does not need any more night food. If he wakes up and demands food and drink, it only shows his bad sleeping habit.
The only exception is when the baby is sick and has a fever. In this case, he may need to drink at night. But remember: you are giving your baby a drink because he has a fever, not to put him to sleep.
My baby goes to bed after 23.00, as my husband comes home late and wants to see him. Could this harm our child?
This situation is common and easy to explain. However, if you try to be sincere with yourself, you will understand that not letting your child sleep until late in order to be with him or because it is convenient for you is a rather selfish measure. If you remember, in the chapter on scheduling, we already said that the ideal time to go to bed, according to the biological needs of the child, is 20.00 - 20.30 in winter and 20.30 - 21.00 in summer. Therefore, it is useless to lay the baby late during the day in the hope that he will last longer in the evening. This will only further spoil his biological clock. It is also not true that if you put him in bed later, he will fall asleep and sleep better due to fatigue. Children who are too tired sleep worse.
So my advice is: Don't be selfish. Try to follow your baby's natural biological needs. Remember, between 6 and 7 months of age, your baby needs help to get into the right sleeping habits. Otherwise, in the future, he may have psychological and physical health problems.
How to understand if a baby is crying because of colic (abdominal pain, gas)?
Colic resolves between 3 and 5 months. Remember that it can be difficult to calm down a toddler who has a stomach ache. If you take the baby on the arms at night and he calms down in 2-3 minutes, then this is not colic. Colic does not appear only at night, the baby must cry during the day and in the evening for the same reason. Therefore, if your baby is more than 5 months old, do not run to him as soon as he starts crying. Otherwise, the baby gets used to crying as loudly as possible to attract attention.
My baby does not sleep well because his teeth are teething ... This is one of the most common excuses for poor sleep. The widespread belief is that the teeth give such pain that the baby cannot sleep well at night. So: it has not been scientifically proven that the appearance of teeth is a painful process. If your baby wakes up "because of the teeth", most likely he woke up earlier (because of "colic", "hunger", "thirst", etc.) If your baby slept badly before, calm down about the teeth and start "re-education".
We have twins. Can they sleep together?
Two children can sleep peacefully in the same room, subject to certain conditions. If both sleep well, no problem. If they are 6 months old, you can put them together. But if they do not sleep well (or one of the two sleeps poorly), it is better to separate them during sleep training. If you do not have this opportunity, train both together.
My son does not want to sleep during quiet hours. Maybe it's better to give it up? For a quiet hour, you need to behave in the same way as when laying your baby down for the night. If we feed a child for breakfast and for lunch with a spoon, I also do not see the difference between going to bed in the afternoon and in the evening. Many children stop sleeping during the day by the age of three when they start kindergarten. If a 3 year old child does not sleep during the day, he will be too tired at night - his night sleep will be deeper - problems such as nightmares, sleepwalking, bedwetting, etc. may appear.
The child should sleep during the day at least until 4 years old, and better for longer.
If your baby for any reason goes to bed later than the recommended time (at 21.30 or even 22.00), we advise you to move the bed to an earlier time. Remember: it comes about the health of your baby! The recommended schedule is explained by biological rhythms ("biological clock"). If this clock does not adjust correctly in early childhood, the child has a high risk of having problems different types in the future (from poor school performance, difficulty concentrating, to poor growth and insomnia in adulthood). Some parents put off going to bed until later because the father comes home late from work and wants to see the baby. Don't give in to this temptation! These are your selfish inclinations, which in the future can turn into problems for your child.
How to retrain him to go to bed earlier? First, start waking him up earlier in the morning, do not let him sleep until 9-10 am if he goes to bed late. In no case do not skip the daytime sleep in the hope that in the evening you will want to sleep earlier. In the evening he will be too tired to sleep well. Let him sleep during the day, but not too long: 1.5 - 2 hours. Go to bed early in the evening, do the same the next day, and so on until you reach the desired schedule.
How to teach your toddler not to disturb his parents early in the morning?
Small children do not feel the time and they are not very interested in it. They wake up in the morning because they don't want to sleep anymore, not because "it's already 11 in the morning." Many children wake up early. If the baby wakes up and is crying, calling you, it is better to go to him immediately. It's no use pretending you can't hear.
If your baby wakes up and is chatting to himself or playing in the crib, do not approach him, even if you are already up. So he will get used to occupying himself a little. Sometimes it helps to give the baby a bottle or toy, change his clothes and give him something interesting and you may be able to sleep for another hour. If your child is older, consider why he wakes up so early. The tram outside the window woke him up? Lantern light? He is cold? Hot? If your baby wakes up for one of these reasons, try to eliminate them. If he wakes up because he has already slept, think of some activity prepared for him in the evening: leave at night on a chair next to the bed, so that he can get it himself, coloring and pencils, a bottle of tea, a glass of water, a toy, what - some surprise, etc. The kid, when he wakes up, will find what you left behind and will do it for a while.
If your child is three years old or older, he may already be working with you. We offer you a method that will teach him the days of the week, hours and will help you sleep more on Saturday and Sunday. Draw on paper or buy a calendar that shows the entire month (or weeks). Explain to your child what a calendar is. Explain the names of the days of the week. Every day, together with the baby in the evening, put a cross or a circle on the calendar and say: today is Monday, Monday will end, tomorrow will be Tuesday, etc. Tell him that there are two special days a week when his parents will not wake him up, but he will have to wake his parents. It's Saturday and Sunday. Highlight them on the calendar in a different color. Buy a wall clock for your baby or use an existing one in the house. Hang the clock in front of his crib. The kid still does not know how to read the clock and you need to help him. Attach the 10 o'clock sticker to the watch. (If you want to get up at 10, and your baby wakes up at 8:00) When the baby returns from kindergarten on Friday, tell him:
“Look, it's Friday. Tomorrow will be a special day, tomorrow is Saturday and tomorrow you will have to wake us up. " Look at your watch. When the big hand covers (touches, is under, etc.) to the sticker, it's 10 o'clock. You will have to wake us up and you will get an interesting surprise. " What a surprise? Depends on your imagination. Can you hide balloon under your bed, buy a kinder surprise, organize a pillow fight, etc.
You don't have to buy something new every time, it is important to do something that your baby likes. You cannot answer him at 10 o'clock: "Wait a little, now we will play with you." If he waited 10 hours, you too should keep your word and show his surprise (play the game) right away.
How to make him hold on until 10 o'clock? A few tips: On Friday, go to the store with him to buy him breakfast for Saturday (Sunday).
It is very important to do this with him, so that the baby feels involved. Place breakfast on a table / stool next to his crib. When the baby wakes up, he will be able to have a snack himself. Buy him a toy (make, etc.) that you will only give him on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Leave her on the chair next to the crib too. On the first Saturday, the baby will wake up at 8.00 and at 8.05 will already be at your bed with shouts: “It's time to get up! Where is the surprise? "
It’s okay that this happens, he hasn’t learned to wait yet. Then act like at night. Take him to the crib. Explain that it is still early. Show the clock and explain again when the time is correct. If he protests, return to him according to the time table in chapter 4. This time, not to put him to sleep, but to teach him to wait and play on his own. Remember that the baby is still small and it is difficult for him to wait so long if he wakes up at 8.00, and you want him to wake you up not earlier than 10.00, first you have to cheat: turn the arrows forward. When the baby wakes up, in reality it will be only 8, but the clock will show already 9.00. He will only have to wait an hour. Encouraged by success, he will have more desire to wait for the appointed hour. And you gradually set the clock to the correct time. So the baby will be able to wait longer and longer.
Be realistic, don't ask for 3 summer kid for him to play himself 2.5 - 3 hours in the morning. Good luck!
Difficult cases.
Since the publication of this book (1996), we have received a huge number of letters from parents. Most of them are expressions of gratitude and appreciation. However, in some there is a description of the difficulty that the parents could not overcome. We will now look at the perceived and real difficulties of sleep training. We decided to follow the sleep training process and find out what problems parents face. The following is the result of an analysis of the sleep training process of 823 children aged 6 months to 5 years.
Analysis of the application of our method and its results:
- 96% of children learned to sleep without disturbing their parents at night
-in 4%, parents faced difficulties that they could not overcome. Some children never learned to fall asleep on their own, some at first learned, but after a while they began to wake up again at night.
We analyzed in detail the reasons for the failures. There are objective and subjective reasons. Objective:
- parents did not quite understand our instructions correctly
- the book was read by only one of the parents
- the child is looked after by several people who could not act in the same way
- a third person lives in the house (grandmother, aunt), who influenced the application of the method
- the child became ill during re-education
- there were global changes in the child's life during the period of sleep training: parents divorced, a brother was born, moved, went to kindergarten, etc.
- one of the parents has serious psychological problems (states of anxiety)
- the family does not sleep at home every weekend
- a trip with a change in the child's schedule or time zone
The method was not completely understood correctly.
Ekaterina Rakitina
Dr Dietrich Bonhoeffer Klinikum, Germany
Reading time: 6 minutes
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Last updated article: 30.04.2019
How to teach a baby not to require motion sickness, but to fall asleep peacefully in a crib? This question will sooner or later arise before any parent. Not so often, from the very first months, a child sleeps by himself, without requiring the attention of his parents, if this happens at all. Yes, such an independent sleep is not needed by the baby, and according to modern research, it is not useful. At first, motion sickness does not cause difficulties for parents, and in the first months the question even arises, why teach him to fall asleep in any other way.
But over time, the process of "lulling" takes more and more time, and it becomes more and more difficult to carry your recalcitrant child in your arms. The child grows, grows heavier, and now the mother's spine cannot withstand the load. It is not worth expecting that the child will "outgrow" and expect this "tearing off" hands.
In order not to lead to an unpleasant state when you are already unable to rock the baby, and he categorically refuses to fall asleep without your active participation, you need to take care in advance that the child learns to fall asleep on his own. Good advice about the child's sleep is given by Dr. Komarovsky.
Why doesn't the child fall asleep on his own?
A child who is accustomed to falling asleep under a measured wiggle simply does not understand that it is possible to fall asleep in some other way, he has nothing to replace motion sickness.
Measured swaying, every day at the same time, forms a certain stereotype, breaking which, even for an adult, it is difficult to adapt. People who are used to falling asleep to the sound of the ocean cannot sleep in silence, those who like to fall asleep to the sound of TV and in the light, then they can hardly close their eyelids in the dark. The child's body develops a persistent conditioned reflex:
- swing - sleep;
- do not shake - I am awake.
Newborns and babies are very sensitive to any changes in their lives. They, having adapted to the same rhythm of life, cannot assess the correctness of innovations, and consider changes to be dangerous. The familiar is safe, the new is dangerous.
Therefore, a baby who does not want to fall asleep without motion sickness is not necessarily harmful. He just can't sleep peacefully.
What can be done to relieve motion sickness painlessly?
Of course, it is pleasant for mom to hold the baby in her arms, shake it, and it is convenient to put it to bed next to you. This is all good for the child and must be done. However, from the very beginning, it is useful to prepare the baby for the fact that he will have to sleep on his own.
First, the child needs to be taught that he has his own place, his own bed. Let the child sleep with his mother at night, on her bed, and for daytime sleep and play, you need to use a crib.
Even if the baby had to be rocked, put him in the crib, waking up in it with noticeable constancy, they will get used to the fact that this place belongs to him and it is as safe as his mother's bed.
Second, create your own bedtime ritual. For example:
- bathing;
- relaxing massage;
- lullaby;
- good night kiss;
The bath invigorates some children. In this case, it may be another version of the ritual:
- dinner with milk;
- the game is not too active and emotionally filled (15-20 minutes);
- bedtime story;
Such a preparatory ritual will develop a certain stereotype of behavior in the baby, and familiar actions will calm him down, preparing him for sleep. Of course, if the child does not get tired and does not want to sleep, the ritual will cause opposition on his part.
Therefore, it is very important that the child be fully occupied during the day (as far as his age allows), ate well and did not neglect daytime sleep... It is imperative to put the baby's room in order before going to bed. The room must be clean and well ventilated. The room temperature should be 22-24 ° C, preferably around 22 ° C. If it is too cold or too hot, the child, even if he really wants to sleep, will find it difficult to fall asleep (even with motion sickness). You do not need to play too actively with the baby before bedtime, this will lead to overexcitation, even the most positive emotions in large quantities disrupt the production of sleep hormones.
It is imperative to teach your baby to understand the difference between a day's rest and a night's sleep. It's hard to wait and catch up. In education, these truths do not lose their relevance. In order not to "catch up", that is, not to retrain the baby, you can immediately make the conditions for his sleep day and night different. For example, during the day you do not need to draw up the curtains on the windows, at night it is better not to leave the night light on. During the day, you do not need to observe any special mode of silence (this does not mean that you need to carry out construction or repair work while the baby is sleeping), you can deal with urgent matters.
At night, it is better to minimize the influence of extraneous sounds (turn off the TV or stereo system, choose the quietest room as a nursery, etc.). If the baby wakes up during the day, you do not need to rock him again, or give him a bottle (breast) to make him fall asleep. At night, you need to provide a comfortable and long sleep for the child. All these measures will prepare the baby for the time when they begin to put him to bed without motion sickness. In this case, putting the baby to bed will be much easier.
How to wean a baby from motion sickness without a scandal?
How to teach your baby to sleep without prolonged motion sickness? How can they be replaced? Dr. Komarovsky share his thoughts on this matter in lectures and videos. There are several well-known methods that have been used by mothers of all times and peoples:
- sing lullabies;
- let him fall asleep on his mother's chest;
- put to bed when sleep hormones began to be produced and turn on music (noise of rain, sounds of the sea, quiet classical music from the series "restful sleep");
- put next to you and tell a fairy tale;
- under the age of 3 months, not tight swaddling;
- the weaning process should start when your baby is healthy.
A lullaby sung in my mother's favorite voice is the best sedative and sleeping pill for a child up to one year old. It will not be replaced by any music, lullabies recorded on a USB flash drive, or fairy tales told by professional announcers. You need to have such tools on hand. At a difficult moment, they will help to entertain and calm the raging baby. But nothing can replace the singing of mom, even if she does not have a very good ear or she is godlessly out of tune.
Some mothers feed their babies before bed. At the age of 3 months - this is an ideal way to "persuade" a healthy baby to take a nap, but it has its drawbacks. This is the same ritual as motion sickness; over time, you will have to give it up. By six months, the child should wean from falling asleep with sucking on the breast or bottle.
Very important points for "proper" falling asleep are:
- mode (daily routine);
- the ability to catch the child's fatigue.
In the latter case, when the child rubs his eyes (from the age of 3 months, this is how he begins to show fatigue), yawns, becomes lethargic, his coordination is disturbed and so far not very good - this means that the process of producing sleep hormones has begun, and the brain is preparing to rest. In this case, there is no need to torture the child by performing the entire "pre-sleep" ritual. You can greatly reduce it or even lower it by simply putting the baby in the crib. Turn off the light, hug and sing a song (my mother's voice to which the baby is accustomed, while in the womb, acts pacifying).
If you guess the moment, the child will fall asleep quickly, without problems and will sleep soundly. You can listen to the opinion of the pediatrician Komarovsky on how to put a baby to sleep without motion sickness in the best way for him.
Highly important point for a restful sleep or falling asleep a baby is his satisfaction in communicating with loved ones during the day, and a calm atmosphere in the house.
Why can babies cry before bedtime? Children, if they experience emotional hunger, lack of attention of adults, lack of their love, begin to "extort" them. That is, cry, scream, draw attention to yourself. Demand that mom take them in her arms. They cannot do it in any other way.
If a mother, for one reason or another, cannot allocate more time for her child, you can let him fall asleep, clinging to her breasts. The familiar smell, the beating of mother's heart and her warmth will soothe the baby and make up for the lack of communication with a loved one in the daytime.
It is extremely difficult to put a baby, especially one in the bed, if there is a conflict in the family. Even if you teach the child to sleep without motion sickness in a timely manner and put the baby to bed himself, and after that sort things out behind the wall in raised tones, the baby will not sleep. He will cry, and as soon as he masters the skills of walking, he will roar to his mother.
At this age, little children are so sensitive to the mood of their mother that even if she smiles and "takes" the conflict outside the threshold of the children's room, they feel her nervous excitement or resentment, she is literally transmitted to them by infection.
They sense danger and need to be picked up, rocked, protected. Harmony in the family is the key to good sleep and easy falling asleep for your baby.
One of the most important prerequisites for a calm and prolonged night's sleep for your baby is the ability to fall asleep on your own in your crib. But how to teach him to do this?
Why does even a very tired baby, falling asleep in your arms, start crying when suddenly it is alone in the crib? And why does an older child rarely go to sleep on his own and sometimes falls asleep right during the game, one might say, against his will?
- Every baby craves most of all for the closeness of their parents. To be alone in bed means for him to part with his parents, not to feel their comforting closeness and native warmth anymore. Of course, a rare baby will agree to this without protest, especially if he is spoiled by parental attention during the day and "does not get away with it."
- Often, the baby falls asleep while breastfeeding or in her mother's arms. Once noticing that as soon as he falls asleep, as his mother tries to carefully put him in the crib, the baby will struggle to resist sleep next time so as not to miss this moment. Having fallen asleep, he will sleep very lightly. Feeling how you put him in the crib, he will immediately wake up and express his disagreement with a loud cry. Try to fall asleep yourself, if you know, for example, that as soon as you close your eyes, someone will pull off your blanket ...
- Maybe the baby happened to wake up in the crib at night, wet, cold, hungry or frightened by a terrible dream. He felt lonely and forgotten, and he had to wait longer for his mother to arrive than he had during the day. After such an experience, the baby may experience a subconscious fear of sleep and protest, being alone in his crib.
- Very often the baby we are trying to put to bed is just not tired enough.
- For an older child, going to bed means parting with some interesting activity, ending the game, saying goodbye to the guests sitting in the next room, etc.
- Knowing that parents or older brothers and sisters have not yet gone to bed, the baby does not want to accept such "injustice."
- Some children are afraid of the dark.
- Sometimes kids don't want to go to bed simply because we spoiled them. The child uses the evening persuasions of the parents to pass the time, or they serve as an excuse for self-affirmation.
So, five-year-old Verochka came up with a new reason every evening so as not to go to bed. Now she was thirsty, then she could not find her favorite toy, then the pillow slid to one side. On other days, she called her mother because she forgot to kiss her goodnight or ask about something important. Sometimes Vera's pajamas slipped off, sometimes she was too hot or cold. From time to time she heard strange sounds in the room or saw shadows moving along the wall. On some days, she wanted to go to the toilet several times in a row, or an empty stomach prevented the girl from falling asleep. Now Vera's something itched, then it hurt ... But in fact, the girl simply enjoyed the attention of her mother, who every evening several times returned to her daughter's room and reassured her.
While many children are afraid of the dark, Sasha was afraid of silence. Parents did not know this for a long time and tried unsuccessfully to teach the boy to fall asleep alone in his room behind a closed door. Once, as usual, having closed the door to his room, my mother went to the kitchen. To her surprise, she did not hear the usual shouts and protests this time. Thinking that the baby had finally learned to fall asleep alone, the mother did her homework - washing the dishes, cleaning them, boiling tea, etc. When she finished her chores and went to see if her son was really sleeping, she found that the door to the nursery was wide open. is open and the boy is sleeping peacefully in his bed. Sasha learned to get out of the crib and opened the door on his own! And the clatter of dishes, the splash of water and the noise of a boiling kettle meant for him that his mother was near and, therefore, he could sleep peacefully ...
Sometimes it may be easier to help your baby fall asleep than you thought. For example, a night light or an open door to the nursery can calm fearful children, and older children fall asleep more readily if they are allowed to go to bed an hour later.
How to teach a baby to fall asleep on its own from the very beginning
You can teach your baby to fall asleep without the help of parents and without any aids at any age. But babies aged 1.5 to 3 months get used to it most easily. Therefore, it is better to start with habituation gradually from birth, while the child is not yet accustomed to all sorts of unfavorable rituals, from which it is not so easy to wean him later. If such habits have already developed, parents will need a little more patience, because the baby is unlikely to give them up voluntarily. But even in this case, the problem is quite solvable, and it will take, most likely, no more than a week to solve it!
- To train yourself to fall asleep infant, you need to put him alone in the crib from the very beginning as often as possible, nevertheless staying next to him. If you carry the baby in your arms all day or rock him in a stroller during the day, then, being alone in an immobile bed, he will feel insecure. This sensation will be unusual for the baby, and he is unlikely to be able to sleep peacefully. A baby who is accustomed to a crib feels calm there, and in a familiar environment, any child falls asleep better.
- Putting a baby alone in a crib does not mean leaving him there for a long time, especially if he is crying. Of course not, crying baby need to be reassured. But as soon as he stops crying, do not carry him in your arms. Put him back down so he can see you or hear your voice. Talk to him, sing to him, but leave him in the crib so that he gradually gets used to it. Among other things, the child will learn in this way to deal with himself: examine his pens or play with them, look around, listen to the sounds around him, etc. Well, you yourself will have time to redo more things, which you would not have had time if the baby was in your arms all the time.
- If the baby first falls asleep only on your chest, that's okay. You don't need to wake him up. For a start, it will be sufficient if he gets used to his crib while awake. When he has a regimen with a certain sleep time, you need to gradually begin to separate food and sleep. Babies who love to sleep on their chest or with a bottle are best fed when they wake up, or at least some time before bedtime. And by the time the baby usually falls asleep, you need to put him alone in the crib. By this time he was already tired and his "internal clock" switched to sleep, so it will be easier for him to fall asleep without your help.
- At first, it is not necessary to put the baby alone in the crib before going to bed every time. You can start once or twice a day, at the same time as your baby, in your experience, falls asleep easiest. For most children, this is evening, but there are children who fall asleep faster in the morning or afternoon. The main thing is that you and your baby feel that falling asleep on their own is, in principle, possible. Then it will become a habit - it's only a matter of time.
- But what if you put the baby in the crib before going to bed and he starts crying bitterly? Try to calm him down first without picking him up. Pet him, sing a song, talk to him, tell him how you love him. Explain that it is time to sleep to gain new strength, that you are there to protect your baby while he sleeps. If the baby is still crying, pick him up. But as soon as he calms down, put him back in the crib. Crying again - try to calm down again, without taking it in your arms, and only then, if everything is in vain, take the baby out of the crib. Maybe he is still too small and it is worth waiting a couple of weeks, then again carefully start teaching him to fall asleep on his own.<...>
- A pacifier helps some children fall asleep. But as soon as the baby is soundly asleep, carefully remove the nipple from his mouth, otherwise he will wake up when he loses it in a dream. And if a baby, waking up at night, looks for a pacifier and cries, then it can become effective help only when he learns to find it himself.
- Babies sleep better in the first months of life if they rest the top of their heads against a rolled-up diaper, pillow or blanket-protected headboard. It reminds them of the feeling in the womb. (My daughter loved this feeling even at an older age. I always covered the top headboard with a blanket, and my daughter lay down on the very top of the pillow to rest her head against the back.)
- You can also swaddle the baby tighter before bedtime, which will also remind him of the tightness before birth. And when the baby gets older, a sleeping bag or mom's shirt, tied at the bottom with a knot, can help him.
- Mom's scent generally has a calming effect on babies, and you can simply put something of Mom's (worn) clothes next to the baby's head.
- But do not forget that the main condition for the child to be able to fall asleep on their own is the right time to bed. The kid must really get tired, otherwise attempts to lay him down will not be crowned with success. This is easiest if you have already established a strict daily routine. In this case, you know in advance when the baby's "internal clock" will switch to sleep. If not, then you will have to rely on your intuition and experience. A tired baby starts yawning, rubbing his eyes or acting up for no reason. Try to guess the best moment when his eyes are already closing by themselves to put him alone in the crib.
Two-month-old Marishka, after eating, fell asleep on her mother's chest every time. Mom did not want to wake up the baby, so the girl slept in the afternoon after each feeding. Still - warm, cozy, nourishing ... In the evening, when Marina's mother tried to teach the baby to fall asleep on her own in her bed, she desperately resisted. Firstly, she is used to falling asleep only on her chest. Secondly, having had enough sleep during the day, she was not tired at all in the evening.
Therefore, Marishkina's mother decided to start separating the baby's food and sleep during the day. She began to feed her immediately after she woke up. And by the time Marina usually fell asleep, her mother put her alone in the crib and tried to lull her to sleep with affectionate strokes and lullabies. At first, Marishka, who did not understand such "injustice", often cried and could not sleep. But in the evening, the tired girl instantly fell asleep, not waiting for her mother's help. Soon she realized that if it’s not scary to fall asleep without her mother’s breast in the evening, then you can do it during the day. All the more so if you still can't achieve anything by shouting ...
